Framed

By Simon Haynes

A straightforward cargo delivery takes a left turn when Hal Spacejock gets sidetracked. But with 200 shares in a worthless company on offer, who wouldn't step into a makeshift teleporter which has already claimed one victim?

Hal and Clunk, stars of the Hal Spacejock comedy series, feature in this short story. 'Framed' slots into the series any time after Hal Spacejock Second Course, but can be read and enjoyed as a stand-alone.

Kurt took up his position in front of the robot, while Hal took up his position behind a large rock twenty metres away. With shaking fingers, Kurt reached for the cap on Clunk's head. Meanwhile, Hal's fingers were in his ears and his eyes were screwed shut.
"It's okay," said Kurt. "It's just a solar panel."
"Attached to what?"
"His brain, I think."
"Oh wonderful," muttered Hal. "He'll be thinking and talking and arguing, and he still won't be able to do anything useful."
Four Hal Spacejock novels have been published in Australia over the past six years, earning excellent reviews and gathering a small but dedicated worldwide following. Now all four titles are available in ebook for the first time.

The author, Simon Haynes, is currently working on a new Hal Junior series AND Hal Spacejock book five, but he took time out from his hectic schedule to write Framed after a rash promise on Facebook: to finish the story off and publish it within 48 hours.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Simon Haynes
• Release date: Aug 27, 2011
• ISBN: 9781466023796

Simon Haynes

Simon Haynes lives in Western Australia, where he divides his time between herding deadly spiders, dodging drop bears, and making up wildly inaccurate sentences like this one.By day he's an author. By night he's also an author.He loves wry, dry humour, and his hobbies include daringly inserting the letter U into words where -- in some parts of the world at least -- this simply isn't the done thing.As for his genre-spanning novels, they include epic fantasy (with robots), scifi comedy (also with robots), middle grade humour (featuring robots AND the wanton use of the letter U), as well as a series of historical mystery novels set in 1870's London. (No, of course there aren't robots in those. He's not completely out of his mind.)When he's not writing Simon is usually renovating his house, sim-racing online, using twitter (@spacejock), gardening, tweaking his book covers, pondering the meaning of the universe and reading, and if you think it's easy doing all that at the same time you should see what he can do with a mug of coffee, a banana and a large bag of salt.When he's not making outlandish claims he likes to count how many novels he's written, and how many genres he's written them in. (Lots and too many.)Finally, if you want to hear Simon reading one of his award-winning stories, you'll find an enticement to join his newsletter here: spacejock.com.au/ML.html

Book preview

Hal Spacejock: Framed

(A Short Story)

Copyright © Simon Haynes

Hal Spacejock muttered under his breath as he strode down the Volante's landing ramp. It wasn't even lunch time and the day was already a complete disaster. First the outrageous landing fees, then the sky-high fuel prices, and finally the sealer: a one-sided 'conversation' with their customer, who was insisting on door-to-door delivery. Of course, she'd never mentioned any such thing when booking the job, and Hal would have played the original conversation back to her if he'd been able to find it amongst all the pirated software and amusing film clips crammed into the flight computer.

So he'd searched for a freight hauler to move a container of antique furniture halfway across the city. The first three companies had laughed in his face when he revealed his budget. The last guy had been more helpful, giving Hal the address of a trucking firm where the drivers ran cash jobs whenever the boss took her secretary to lunch.

There was a rumble from the horizon, and Hal searched the sky for the departing spaceship. Instead he saw a line of dark clouds. Lightning flashed, and as the brewing storm approached Hal realised they'd be shifting their cargo in a heavy downpour. Perfect.

The ramp moved underfoot as a squashy-faced robot emerged from the ship. Clunk was moving even more stiffly than usual, his back as straight as an engine brace and his expression pure vinegar.

Are you coming or what? called Hal.

Clunk used his middle finger on the keypad, punching a lengthy sequence of alternating twos and eights.

Take your time. No rush.

Okay, so maybe the price of fuel on this overpriced planet wasn't Clunk's fault, but he should've checked the landing charges before setting down. After all, why have a co-pilot if you had to do everything yourself? Hal crossed his arms. In future he'd have to lay down the law.

Clunk glanced through the porthole to make sure the lights were off, then started down the ramp. Every step of his big, flat feet was deliberate and forceful, and his lips were pressed together so hard it was a surprise his jaw didn't fall off.

Nice day, isn't it? said Hal lightly. It had just dawned on him that Clunk was taking things badly. Quite warmish.

Clunk walked straight towards him, saying not a word, and Hal realised the robot was perfectly capable of running him down. As far as Clunk was concerned, the three laws were quaint relics from a gentler age.

Hal backed away, then turned and hurried to the safety of the landing pad.