The Billy Joel Essays: Essays from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV
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Chuck Klosterman
Chuck Klosterman is the bestselling author of many books of nonfiction (including The Nineties, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs, I Wear the Black Hat, and But What If We're Wrong?) and fiction (Downtown Owl, The Visible Man, and Raised in Captivity). He has written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, GQ, Esquire, Spin, The Guardian, The Believer, Billboard, The A.V. Club, and ESPN. Klosterman served as the Ethicist for The New York Times Magazine for three years, and was an original founder of the website Grantland with Bill Simmons.
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The Billy Joel Essays - Chuck Klosterman
The Billy Joel Essays
Essays from Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs and Chuck Klosterman IV
Chuck Klosterman
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Essays in this work were previously published in Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs copyright © 2003, 2004 by Chuck Klosterman and Chuck Klosterman IV copyright © 2006, 2007 by Chuck Klosterman.
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First Scribner ebook edition September 2010
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Manufactured in the United States of America
ISBN 978-1-4516-2462-5
Previously published in different form in The New York Times Magazine.
Every Dog Must Have
His Every Day, Every Drunk
Must Have His Drink
Several months before nineteen unsmiling people from the Middle East woke up early on a Tuesday in order to commit suicide by flying planes into tall New York office buildings, I sent out a mass e-mail to several acquaintances that focused on the concept of patriotism. At the time, patriotism
seemed like a quaint, baffling concept; it was almost like asking people to express their feelings on the art of blacksmithing. But sometimes I like to ask people what they think about blacksmithing, too.
So ANYWAY, here was the content of my e-mail: I gave everyone two potential options for a hypothetical blind date and asked them to pick who they’d prefer. The only things they knew about the first candidate was that he or she was attractive and successful. The only things they knew about the second candidate was that he or she was attractive, successful, and extremely patriotic.
No other details were provided or could be ascertained.
Just about everyone immediately responded by selecting the first individual. They viewed patriotism as a downside. I wasn’t too surprised; in fact, I was mostly just amused by how everyone seemed to think extremely patriotic people weren’t