Everything I Know About Men I Learned From My Dog
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About this ebook
DOGS
No sleeping on the bed.
No jumping up on people.
No eating people's food.
MEN
Be consistent.
Have a sense of humor.
Be financially self-sufficient.
Hilarious, insightful, witty, and wise, Clare Staples is saying what most women have been thinking. And in Everything I Know About Men I Learned From My Dog, the former model and party girl turned relationship expert proves that what works for the four-legged companion in a woman's life can work equally well for the two-legged variety. Divided into immediately evident categories, such as "Selecting a Breed" and "How to Stay the Boss," and packed with good-humored observations and practical advice, Everything I Know About Men I Learned From My Dog is the perfect field guide to any girl's two most complicated companions -- her dog and her man.
From choosing the right personality to figuring out your companion's quirks and idiosyncrasies, dog ownership and human relationships can be complex affairs. What do you do when he bares his teeth or is a little clingy? How do you reward him when he is good and scold him when he is naughty? With Clare Staples's simple, clever tips, your relationships with both species will be happier and more successful.
DON'T GO FOR LOOKS
MAN: Handsome men are never a great bet. Often they have learned to rely on their looks and have not had to develop a personality or sense of humor -- far more important qualities.
DOG: Don't choose a dog for looks alone. Looks are only skin-deep -- loyalty, devotion, and eagerness to please and unconditional love are the most wonderful things.
DON'T CHANGE YOUR LIFESTYLE
MAN: When you first meet your man, don't change anything for him. Don't give up your friends or hobbies. Never cancel anything to be with him.
DOG: When you first get a dog, chances are he will whine when you leave him alone, but he'll get used to it and appreciate you more when you spend quality time with him.
GIVE POSITIVE REWARDS
MAN: When your man does something that you like -- such as brings you a present -- reward him. Give him a treat, spoil him.
DOG: All dogs love praise. Train a dog with positive rewards for positive behavior.
Clare Staples
Clare Staples is a former model who has put away her party shoes and settled into UGG boots and domestic bliss with her best canine friend, a Great Dane named Mr. Big. She lives in England.
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Reviews for Everything I Know About Men I Learned From My Dog
2 ratings1 review
- Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The ending was ridiculous. Do x, y, z, but make sure to turn a blind eye if he wants to stray, as long as he's respectful?? Couldn't be me, girl.
Book preview
Everything I Know About Men I Learned From My Dog - Clare Staples
For Paul . . . who taught me unconditional love.
Mr. Big
Thanks to
Robert Kirby, Candace Bushnell, Michael Neill, Neil Reading, Helena Burton, Dougray Scott, Elle Macpherson, Simon Cowell, Andrew Neil, Adrian Gill, Sacha Gervasi, Alexa Pearmund, Catriona Jardine, David Crombie, Glen Saville, Trevor Leighton, Nicky Clarke, Paul Duddridge, Dinny at AllDog, Mum, AA, HP, LG, Mr. Big.
And all the men I have dated who behaved like dogs . . . only worse.
One day I would like to be the person my dog thinks I am.
Anon
Foreword by Candace Bushnell
This wonderfully clever book is the work of my very dear friend, Clare Staples.
I met Clare years ago in London, and I always thought of her as the English version of a Sex and the City girl. She was (and still is) beautiful, smart and sexy, and we had many memorable evenings not just in London but around the world. Of course, like a true Sex and the City girl, Clare had her share of romantic ups and downs, all of which we discussed endlessly. One of my favorite memories is the time we irritated an entire planeload of people on Virgin Atlantic by talking loudly about men and their deficiencies. By the time we arrived in New York, we’d come to the conclusion that the only way to deal with men was to train them. Like dogs. I’d like to think that it was during that transatlantic flight that the idea for this book was born.
When Clare gave me a prototype for this, I found it utterly charming and absolutely spot-on. The truth is that we do often compare men to dogs, and