Men U: Advanced Courses For A Transformed Life

By Dave Wertheim

You Don't Have To “Fight The Battle Alone”

You want to give your struggles over to God and deepen your walk with Christ, but you’re not sure how to accomplish your goals. Dave Wertheim has been there, done that. Using everyday situations, Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life provides practical guidance and valuable tips that help you to rely on Him for a victorious life. God can and does deliver!

You’ll find proven insights to inspire and motivate you, while learning to trust God to:

- Overcome sexual temptation

- Gain mastery over abusive addictions

- Engage in effective discipleship

- Discover innovative ways to invest time with God

- Become a true 360 degree witness
“Dave grabs life for men by the throat dealing with the real and raw issues we struggle with but no one talks about. This book is ideally suited discipleship material for churches and groups that desire healthy leaders not just skilled ones.”

—Kenny Luck, Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church, Founder and President of Every Man Ministries
“Cities are decaying morally at an alarming rate. The solution to turn this tide is a transformed man. How can men become this needed catalyst? Complete the Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life. CITIES ARE WAITING!”

—Dr. Raleigh B. Washington, President of Promise Keepers
“Dave’s new book offers every man a strongly biblical, highly practical guide for stepping up into the life-giving manhood of Jesus Christ. It will challenge you to the core. That’s why I highly recommend it.”

—Robert Lewis, Founder Men’s Fraternity

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dave Wertheim
• Release date: Aug 26, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311535184

Dave Wertheim

Dave Wertheim has been mentoring and discipling men for more than twenty-eight years. Raised in a Jewish family in the New York City housing projects, he came to faith in Christ at twenty-six. His own spiritual journey provides keen insights into how men struggle, process, grow, and ultimately are transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit. Dave utilizes his thirty years of business experience in computer marketing and lessons from leadership in churches to relate and minister to men from all walks of life. Dave is Founder/President of Men U For Transformed Lives. He helps churches to develop thriving ministries for men, small groups, strengthening marriages, and discipling leaders. At Bayside Church, Granite Bay, California, Dave founded and directed the men's ministry for many years and served in numerous spiritual leadership roles. Dave is a graduate of The Ohio State University (MS), Columbus, Ohio and Brooklyn College of the City University of New York (BS), Brooklyn, New York. He loves basketball, beaches, and basking in the sun. Married to Rose for more than thirty-seven years, he currently resides in Roseville, California. They have three adult sons, Paul, Rick, and Michael, who are walking faithfully with the Lord.

Book preview

Men U: Advanced Courses For A Transformed Life

By Dave Wertheim

Copyright 2010 Dave Wertheim

Smashwords Edition

YOU DON’T HAVE TO FIGHT THE BATTLE ALONE

---

You want to give your struggles over to God and deepen your walk with Christ, but you’re not sure how to accomplish your goals. Dave Wertheim has been there, done that. Using everyday situations, Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life provides practical guidance and valuable tips that help you to rely on Him for a victorious life. God can and does deliver!

You’ll find proven insights to inspire and motivate you, while learning to trust God to:

Overcome sexual temptation

Gain mastery over abusive addictions

Engage in effective discipleship

Discover innovative ways to invest time with God

Become a true 360 degree witness

---

Dave grabs life for men by the throat dealing with the real and raw issues we struggle with but no one talks about. This book is ideally suited discipleship material for churches and groups that desire healthy leaders not just skilled ones.

—Kenny Luck, Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church, Founder and President of Every Man Ministries

---

Cities are decaying morally at an alarming rate. The solution to turn this tide is a transformed man. How can men become this needed catalyst? Complete the Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life. CITIES ARE WAITING!

—Dr. Raleigh B. Washington, President of Promise Keepers

---

Dave’s new book offers every man a strongly biblical, highly practical guide for stepping up into the life-giving manhood of Jesus Christ. It will challenge you to the core. That’s why I highly recommend it.

—Robert Lewis, Founder Men’s Fraternity

---

Dave Wertheim is President of Optimum Consulting. He helps churches to develop thriving ministries for men, small groups, strengthening marriages, and discipling leaders. At Bayside Church, Granite Bay, California, Dave founded and directed the church’s men’s ministry for many years. He is a respected and sought-after speaker, trainer, motivator, and encourager. He and his wife, Rose, have three grown children and reside in Roseville, California.

© 2010 by Dave S. Wertheim

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Unless noted otherwise, all Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. (www.Lockman.org)

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. NIV®. Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Editor: Simon Presland, www.therightchoice.org

Cover Design: Dave Eaton

Cover Image: Dave Eaton

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Published by:

Thriving Churches International

Box 230, Genoa, NV 89411

ISBN: 978-0-9831958-0-1

Praise for

Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life

It is impossible to develop a deep faith with a shallow knowledge of the Bible. Dave Wertheim’s new book will not only increase your knowledge of the Scriptures, more importantly, it fearlessly challenges the reader to actually LIVE out its implications. This is no ivory tower publication. This book is both practical and powerful. Anyone ready to get serious about living their faith will find this book hard to put down.

—Ray Johnston, Senior Pastor Bayside Church, author of What If It’s True?

My friend Dave Wertheim has been training men for many years and the fruit of that battle tested" wisdom is found in his Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life. This material is for those seeking an authentic and aggressive faith journey versus a synthetic and shallow one, where self-preservation prevents breakthroughs and self-sufficiency replaces real faith. Dave grabs life for men by the throat dealing with the real and raw issues we struggle with but no one talks about. This book is ideally suited discipleship material for churches and groups that desire healthy leaders not just skilled ones. The character issues discussed here in the company of two or three trusted men will transform lives and prepare leaders for ministry in the modern world. Don’t hesitate to use Men U with your men."

—Kenny Luck, Men’s Pastor at Saddleback Church, Founder and President of Every Man Ministries, author of Every Man, God’s Man, Fight, Dream, and Risk.

"Promise Keepers is launching its 21st year of ministry to men with a new focus – ‘City Transformation.’ Cities are decaying morally at an alarming rate. The solution to turn this tide is a transformed church, filled with transformed families, all dependent, for the most part, upon the catalyst—a transformed man. How can men become this needed catalyst? Complete the Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life. CITIES ARE WAITING!"

—Dr. Raleigh B. Washington, President of Promise Keepers, co-author of Breaking Down Walls: A Model for Reconciliation in an Age of Racial Strife

"Dave Wertheim’s Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life offers every man a strongly biblical, highly practical guide for stepping up into the life-giving manhood of Jesus Christ. It will challenge you to the core. That’s why I highly recommend it."

—Robert Lewis, Founder Men’s Fraternity, author of Raising a Modern-Day Knight

"Dave has done it again! Just like in his first book, Dave has provided a compelling framework to help you grow. No more building without blueprints. No more design without detail. Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life gives Biblical, specific, and VERY practical details about sexual temptations, communication, relationships, and a host of other areas for the man seeking to chase after God. If you are a man who wants to grow spiritually or a woman who wants to understand the discipleship issues in men’s lives, this book will equip you on that journey."

—Dr. John Jackson, Executive Director, Thriving Churches International, author of Finding Your Place in God’s Plan, God-Size Your Church, Pastorpreneur, and the Leveraging series.

"Those of us that enroll in Advanced Courses are acknowledging the difficulty of the subject matter and the need for those more learned to mentor us. The times we live in and the issues we face as men require Advanced Courses to equip us. Dave has again given us a great tool to help equip us as men to face some of the toughest challenges of our time and acquire the disciplines needed to finish the race well for our well being, the well being of our families, and the glory of God."

—Dr. Paul Friesen, Founder and Director Home Improvement Ministries, Couples Bible Study Leader for the New England Patriots, author of Letters to My Daughters and co-author of Restoring the Fallen

"When Dave wrote in his book the following words in the introduction, he had me from the start:

‘… the more God put His finger on the areas of my life that weren’t as visible, areas that I knew about but others may not have noticed, I began to sense that God wanted more than Christlikeness in my life: He wanted to be Lord.’

These words resonate to the deepest depth of my spiritual life, for I know it is at this point of understanding, a transformed life begins. Dave understands this necessary abandonment of our life into our King’s sovereign care, in order for change to begin and to sustain. Only Christ can truly transform a man. But that is what He does! He transforms men, if we will let Him. Jesus Christ will create a champion if He is Lord of our life, and it is on this principle this book is written."

—Rocky Fleming, Founder of Influencers, author of The Journey to the Inner Chamber, The Prayer Cottage and the Sacred Garden, The Journey, and Gabe’s Valley

Dave you have done it again! Thanks for the in-depth, hard hitting help for men in your new book. My hope and prayer is that many churches will begin using this curriculum as a part of their regular men’s ministry.

—Dr. Gil Stieglitz, author of Becoming a Godly Husband, Mission Possible: Winning the Battle Over Temptation, Spiritual Disciplines of a C.H.R.I.S.T.I.A.N., and co-author of Becoming a Godly Wife

"Men U will challenge, inspire and change all who read this transformational book. Dave demonstrates that when we rely on God’s strength, we can stand tall even during the low points life brings our way."

—Roger Crawford, author of How High Can You Bounce?, Think Again!, and Playing from the Heart

Dave Wertheim shows how to tap into Holy Spirit power that changes men’s lives. His insightful lessons will ignite your heart. We’ll all be better men of God if we study this book and heed Dave’s teaching.

—Paul B. Carroll, co-author of Billion-Dollar Lessons: What You Can Learn from the Most Inexcusable Business Failures of the Last 25 Years and author of Big Blues: The Unmaking of IBM

Contents

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

Course 1 Sex Ed 301:

Flee Sexual Temptation

Course 2 Sex Ed 401:

Flee Sexual Temptation

Course 3 Philosophy 301:

One Day at a Time

Course 4 Philosophy 401:

One Day at a Time

Course 5 Sociology 301:

Mentoring and Discipleship

Course 6 Sociology 401:

Mentoring and Discipleship

Course 7 Health and Wellness 301:

Abusive Behaviors

Course 8 Health and Wellness 401:

Abusive Behaviors

Course 9 Communication Studies 301:

Anger Management

Course 10 Communication Studies 401:

Anger Management

Course 11 Music Appreciation 301:

Make a Joyful Noise to the Lord

Course 12 Music Appreciation 401:

Make a Joyful Noise to the Lord

Course 13 Speech and Debate 301:

360 Degree Witness

Course 14 Speech and Debate 401:

360 Degree Witness

Course 15 Commencement:

Call to Action

Appendix A: Sample Men’s Group Accountability Checklist

Appendix B: Steps to Peace with God

Appendix C: Devotional Guides

Appendix D: Personal Testimony of Dave Wertheim

Appendix E: Suggested Readings

Notes

Dedication

To my dear, sweet, supporter, best friend, wonderful, talented, treasure of a wife, Rose. I love, cherish, and adore you.

Acknowledgments

The undertaking of this book would not have been possible without the help of many talented people. Thank you all.

To the many men and mentors who have shared their lives and stories with me, thank you. You have touched my heart and provided the foundation and inspiration that Men U is built upon. You can rejoice knowing that your pain and principles for overcoming are helping other men do so too.

To my editor, Simon Presland, you are truly a blessing. Once again, your insights and direction have formed this into a practical and readable product that can benefit any man or woman.

Thank you to the team at Thriving Churches International. David Durham and Dave Eaton, your creativity, wisdom, patience, and commitment to excellence have elevated this book to the next level.

To my able and conscientious proofreader (and sister), Cori Stanley, thank you. Your thorough review and attention to detail continue to amaze me.

To my wonderful, wise, and discerning wife, Rose—this book is dedicated to you. Thank you for helping me to become the man that Christ destined me to be and loving and believing in me for more than thirty-three years.

Finally, none of this would be possible without our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You have provided everything I’ve needed at just the right time. May this book be an effective tool as You continue to transform lives.

Foreword

I’ve been a pastor for more than four decades, and during that time I’ve been blessed to have a faithful discipler early in my relationship with Christ. One of the most profound lessons he taught me was that when our resurrected Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, commanded His disciples to go and make disciples of all nations... He did not want us to interpret His command as a suggestion (see Matthew 28:16-20). As illustrated in his new book, Men U: Advanced Courses for a Transformed Life, Dave Wertheim has taken Jesus’ words to heart. As soon as I received his manuscript, I found time to read it in one sitting. I was greatly blessed by the material he has put together from his personal journey with Jesus, as well as the journeys that others have shared with him. His willingness to open his life and his desire to disciple others are clearly seen throughout this book.

Men are under assault in our culture. From the explosion of pornography and sex to drug and alcohol abuse, men are confronted with situations and temptations that can lead to devastating consequences. Men U provides warning signs to help avoid difficulties and practical principles that you can apply, whether you wish to avoid temptation or are caught up in one or more vices. The best part is you no longer have to fight the battle alone.

As I read Men U, I kept asking myself, Where was a man like Dave when I was training my disciples? Dave has written a helpful and insightful book for all who desire to be empowered by the indwelling Holy Spirit to obey Jesus’ command to go and make disciples of all nations....

If you are looking for someone to come alongside you to help you deepen your walk with God; if you need help overcoming the temptations this world and the devil throws in your path; if you’ve looked for people to share your life with, but have not been fortunate as of yet—then take heart! As you read this book, you’ll feel like Dave is right there beside you. His been there, done that, has the video and the T-shirt writing style will give you insight into your struggles and the courage and conviction to do something about them.

I encourage you to prayerfully read every page, and gather up the golden nuggets of wisdom and practicality written in every chapter. I also challenge you to share them with your friends and acquaintances. You never know: one of these people may become your discipler, the one whom you’ve been looking for—and you found him simply because God loves to answer your kind of prayer.

Ron R. Ritchie

Founder Free at Last, author of Discipleship and Free At Last.

Formerly, a member of the pastoral staff of Peninsula Bible Church,

Palo Alto, California (for 27 years)

www.ronritchie.org

Introduction

Welcome everyone!

To those of you who have read my first book Men U: Courses for a Transformed Life I commend you for your continuing desire to aim for the high calling; aim for the mark of Jesus Christ in your life.

To those of you who want to read this book without reading my first one, don’t worry. Just as a bachelors program is completely different from a masters, my two books cover vastly different areas of a man’s life and the situations he faces.

A higher calling

I have been involved with men’s groups and men’s ministries for more than twenty-six years. During that time, I’ve been challenged on every level and facet of my life—driving habits, developing the fruit of the