Blocked

By Tony Medeiros

A debut novel about online dating.

JIMMY: A married doctor whose specialty is deceit.

JENNIFER: A divorcée who's reeled in by the pampering and adventurous sex he offers.

DIANE: A friend who's always ready to offer advice.

PETER: A disapproving fellow doctor who delivers Jimmy’s comeuppance.

And JEFF? Well, you’ll have to read the book to find out.

You won't be disappointed if you do.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tony Medeiros
• Release date: Sep 7, 2014
• ISBN: 9781311809391

Book preview

Blocked

by

Tony Medeiros

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2014 by Tony Medeiros

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re–sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please purchase your own copy.

Chapter 1

Jennifer stared at the computer screen, viewing potential prospects on Online Cupid. OC was the new online dating site, the latest and supposedly the greatest. Jennifer selected 35 to 40 in the age range box. She liked that the site allowed you to browse before joining. She was shocked by the sheer number of choices. She knew that online dating was popular, but she was still amazed by the number of eligible men who were online. No wonder she was having such a hard time finding a date. All the single men were at home, on their computers.

The OC search page stated that there were one to 600+ potential singles in her search range. Jennifer looked at the distance box; it read 50 miles. She needed to limit the number of choices. She decided to choose men closer to home. She edited the range to 25 miles and clicked the Refresh button. The new potential singles now read one to 487, not the number she was hoping for. She had never imagined that there were so many single men around her age within a 25–mile range from her.

She began to size up the task at hand. There were 10 photos of men to each page, each about the size of a postage stamp, which meant she had to go through almost 50 pages. Yet she was feeling overwhelmed by just the first page. Each entry had a short headline to grab the ladies’ attention, followed by a profile describing the guy. Some profiles were longer than others, but all were competing for attention. Some of the men smiled in their pictures; others used their kids, to show they were involved in their lives. Other men had their dogs in the photos, to show that they too were animal people. There were photos of shirtless men, photos taken in front of their mirrors with their phone cameras. Some of the men took pictures next to their cars. With every new page, Jennifer was horrified to see what some of the men considered a suitable pose for delivering a first impression.

She was becoming shell–shocked by the time she clicked on the twenty–second page. She was taking detailed notes in her notebook next to her laptop on her bed. She was beginning to develop a system to weed out the undesirable choices.

She had made two columns. One was headed Haves, and the other was headed Have Nots. In the Have Nots column, Jennifer wrote the name of anyone without a shirt, anyone that looked mean, anyone without kids, anyone that didn’t look like he was in shape, and anyone who wasn’t smiling. She was surprised how quickly she began to judge these men she knew nothing about; she had always hated people who passed judgment too quickly.

In the Haves column, Jennifer had written: Has to look nice, must have kids, has an inviting smile, looks his age, and has to have put some thought into his opening statement. She had been at the chore of analyzing each potential date for what seemed like hours. She wanted to make sure she performed the proper due diligence before putting herself out there.

Her next move was to go back to the search page and view the women on the site. She chose women aged 35 to 36 within the same 25–mile range and clicked Refresh. The results came back with 118 women. She could see immediately that the ratio was four to one in her favor, or in favor of any other woman aged 35 to 36. She began to view the women on the first page.

She was glad to see that most of the women’s profile pictures were of them smiling. Some showed just body parts, such as the woman’s legs, or the woman turning away from the camera. Some of the women showed more skin, wearing bathing suits. Jennifer was very surprised to see that some women didn’t have a picture at all. It looked as though the women put a little more thought into their opening lines than the men did. The vast majority of the women’s profiles mentioned their kids.

Jennifer studied the women’s pictures and profiles more critically than the men’s. She didn’t like how judgmental the computer made her. The ability to be anonymous, hiding behind a computer screen, seemed to bring out the worst in her. She would never think the evil thoughts she had if she were facing the person in the photos. Jennifer suddenly viewed all these women as her competition. She went through all 118 photos and profiles. Then she turned the laptop screen away from her as she sat in bed.

She was able to see her reflection in the mirror on her dresser. Suddenly she was viewing herself with the same critical eye that she had used on the women on the screen. Until today, she had always thought she looked fine. Now she began to cut her reflection down. Her thighs were too big and her breasts were too small. Jennifer smiled at herself in the mirror. That’s horrible, she thought. She took off the band that had been holding her hair up in a loose knot and let her hair fall to her shoulders. Then she covered the bottom half of her face with her hair, trying to look sexy. Everything she did, though, made her feel more self–conscious. It was useless. She felt vulnerable.

Jennifer grabbed her notebook and turned to a clean page. Clutching her pen, she thought, Where do I start? She had to think of a catchy first line to attract a man. She also had to come up with things to write in the dreaded My self–summary section. The site also had a What am I doing with my life? section. Fill them in, one by one: I’m really good at ___. The first thing people usually notice about me is ___. I spend a lot of time thinking about ___. On a typical Friday night I am ___. The most private thing I’m willing to admit is ___. I’m looking for ___.

Myself, she thought. Who am I?

Then Jennifer heard Josh yell from the kitchen. Mom! A mother, she concluded; that’s my label. She got off the bed and walked into the kitchen to find her 16–year–old son searching for something in the cabinets.

Where’s the cereal? Josh asked his mother as he opened and closed cabinet doors.

Jennifer walked over to the kitchen cabinets, opened the one next to her son, pulled out a box, and handed it to him.

Oh! I didn’t check that one, Josh said with a smile.

Jennifer never said a word; she turned and went back to her bedroom. Thanks, Mom! her son yelled.

Jennifer sat back down on her bed, looked at her reflection in the mirror, and sighed. She picked up her notebook again and read My self–summary. I’m a mother, she thought, a single mother raising her son on her own.

She began to write. I’m an office manager. Do I like my job? Yes, she decided. Divorced for seven years, she also wrote in her notebook. Have I dated much? Jennifer bit her pen cap on that question. She did date, yes, but it never worked out because her son always came first. Am I outgoing? Jennifer looked back at herself in the mirror. She could be with her friends, or with the right person. What type of person am I looking for? was the next item she covered in the notebook. Jennifer wanted someone kind and considerate, and he had to like children. She thought about Josh. He wasn’t really a child anymore. He was already six feet tall, much taller than his mother.

Jennifer had all the ground work done. She felt ready to start on the self–summary—doing it on Online Cupid, not just making notes in her notebook. Hi, my name is Jennifer, she began to write.

She stopped typing. Jennifer sounded too formal. She had always hated her name. Some people called her Jennifer, others called her Jenny, and still others called her Jen. She had always wished that her parents had chosen the name Lucy. Lucy was easy, no nicknames; you were always just Lucy. Now Jennifer had to decide what version of her name sounded the friendliest.

Hi, my name is Jenny, she began. I’m a divorced mother with a 16–year–old son (he’s going on 17) who towers over me. I’m hoping to find someone kind and considerate. I’m a fun person and hope you are, too. I’m looking for someone who wants to start as friends and see where that leads us. I am a genuine person who is passionate and goal–oriented. I love the outdoors and am not really into the bar scene. I’ve been so preoccupied with my son and work that I haven’t been able to meet the right person. I’m ready to slow down and enjoy life with another person.

Jennifer looked at the finished product, reading and re–reading it a few times. It wasn’t Hemingway, but it would have to do. She looked at the next question: What am I doing with my life? That’s a stupid question! she thought. She looked at herself in the mirror again and thought, then began to type. I spend my free time with my son, family, and friends. Love getting out, going on day trips, meeting new people, and whistling while I work. Just kidding; I can’t whistle. She hoped the whistle comment would make men think she was funny.

Jennifer looked at the next question: What I’m really good at. This one was tough. She thought for a bit. What am I really good at? Then the kitchen incident came to mind. Finding things, of course! she said out loud. She began typing again. Seeing the best in people, being a good friend, loving the people close to me, being positive, and laughing.

The next question was really stupid. The first thing people usually notice about me is __. How the hell did she know the first thing people noticed about her? This form they required was becoming real work. My eyes was all she could come up with.

The next question would take still more thought to complete. I spend a lot of time thinking about __. After a few minutes, she began to type. I’m always thinking; some might say that I overthink things. Jennifer thought that honesty was the best policy on this question.

On a typical Friday night I am __ came next. Hanging out, relaxing after a long week. Again, honesty was the best policy. Jennifer didn’t want to fill in all the details, like watching a movie by herself.

She decided to leave the next question blank: The most private thing I’m willing to admit is __.

The last question was the most important. I’m looking for __. Jennifer began to make her selections from the drop–down menu. Guys who like girls, ages 35–40, near me, who are single, looking for new friends and long–term dating.

Jennifer looked back at the mirror. She wondered if anyone would visit her page.

The next item on her list was a picture. Jennifer didn’t know if it should be sexy, formal, casual, or the famous bed shot. The bed shot was out, she concluded. Jennifer’s friends often talked about how much trouble they went through to get the right bed shot to post online.

She pulled out her photo album to find just the right photo. She shuffled through dozens of pictures, but they were all wrong. Most of the pictures had Josh in them, and she wasn’t going to post a picture with her son’s face in it. She held the picture Josh had taken of her at the last Fourth of July picnic. She had always liked that picture; it showed her from the side as she was pulling her hair back from her face. The photo didn’t show her complete face, but it gave someone a pretty good idea of what she looked like. Yes, this is the one, she thought to herself.

Jennifer placed the photo on the bed and focused her phone to snap a picture of just the photo. It took her three tries to get it right. Once she was happy with the picture, she emailed it to herself. She retrieved the photo from her email and downloaded it onto her computer. Once the picture was downloaded, Jennifer was able to format it to look just the way she wanted. She began to crop the picture to remove all the people surrounding her.

In the photo, she was wearing a white dress with spaghetti straps. Her face glowed in the sunlight, her blond hair shining against her white dress. Her skin was smooth and clear. Her long, slender fingers were in the photo, pulling back her hair. Another reason she had always liked that photo was that she thought it looked more like art than a simple snapshot.

Jennifer added it to her profile as her main picture. She stared at the small photo online. Now she had to pick a catchy username to go with the photo. She decided on Notaplainjane43. It made her laugh that there were so many other women with her username. She had thought she was being original until the computer had added the 43. She wanted to pick a username that would catch someone’s attention. She smiled. With the photo she had selected, surely men would agree that her username fit.

Jennifer’s last task was to make her selections from the drop–down menu for the Details section. First choice was Ethnicity. Jennifer chose White. Second was Height. She chose five feet six inches. Third was Body type. She had to think about that before choosing from the drop–down menu. She knelt on her bed facing her mirror and pulled off the oversized T–shirt she wore to bed. She contemplated her body in the mirror. Now she was wearing only her black panties. Slim, she thought. But would a man think so? Everyone I know, she thought, says I’m in great shape. This was the first time in a very long time that she had looked at herself in a sexual way. She looked at every part of her body; she was still in good shape. Jennifer went back to her computer and selected Slim.

Fourth was Diet, which translated to what she ate. She decided on Healthy. Fifth was Smokes. This one was easy. No. Sixth was Drinks. From the drop–down menu, she chose Socially. Seventh was Drugs. Jennifer quickly chose Never from the drop–down menu. Eighth was Religion. Jennifer paused and thought. She wasn’t really that religious; no need to answer that question. She left it blank. Ninth was Sign. Really? she said out loud. Who asks that anymore? She left that blank, too. Tenth was Education. Jennifer selected Two–year degree. She had her Associate’s in Accounting. Eleventh was Job. She selected Office work; that fit with her title of Office Manager. Twelfth was Income. That was easy, too: None of your business. She left it blank. Thirteenth was Offspring. Jennifer smiled and picked Has one child. Fourteenth was Pets. Jennifer left it blank; she had no pets to report. The fifteenth and final question was Speaks. She selected English from the drop–down menu. She had always wanted to speak a second language, but had to settle for just English.

Finally! she thought to herself. She had been at the task for almost two hours. She checked all her choices again. This was it. Once she hit Save, her information would be out there. She would be out there.

Jennifer looked at herself again in the mirror. She thought back to the last time a man had touched her, held her, made love to her. It had been so long ago that she had forgotten when it was, exactly. Jennifer had mainly kept men at a distance, finding it difficult to trust them. She hated that she hadn’t been able to hold her marriage together for Josh’s sake. They were better off without him, she always told Josh—and herself.

Jennifer had been able to raise Josh on her own after his father left. For a long time, now, it had been just the two of them. Jennifer hoped she was enough for Josh. He always said she was, but now she was looking for someone. She didn’t want a replacement father for Josh. She wanted a friend and lover for herself. How would she find a way to explain that to Josh when the time came? Would he be jealous? Jennifer had never really thought about what having a new man in her life would do to Josh. Would he feel relief, not having to always be around to look after his mom?

Jennifer decided she would have a talk with Josh when the time was right. After all, she didn’t even know if anyone would visit her profile. She was getting ahead of herself. She could be doing all of this and have no one be interested in her.

She had procrastinated long enough, and it was getting late. She reviewed her information one last time and hit Save. That was it; now her information was out there on the site for every man to see. She was out there for every man to see. Suddenly, she felt exposed. She pulled her T–shirt back on and pulled her knees up to her chest, hugging her shins. She wanted to make herself as small as possible; she wanted to disappear.

She wondered if she had made a huge mistake. She clicked on her picture at the top of the page and saw her profile completed. She viewed all the information on the page and gave a long sigh. There was no turning back now. She logged off and turned her computer off for the night. It was past midnight, and she would be getting up early to start her usual mundane, predictable day. She would have to wait until the next day to see if anyone had taken the time to look at all her hard work.

***

The alarm clock buzzed at 6:30 a.m., as always. Jennifer rolled over and hit the Off button. She never hit the Snooze button. She stared at the ceiling, thinking how predictable she was. She did the same things every day.

She walked to the kitchen and found Josh sitting at the kitchen table, eating the same cereal as the night before.

Hey, Mom, he said, looking up from his bowl.

Jennifer smiled at her son and started making coffee. Her mind drifted as she filled the coffee pot at the tap. Would Josh understand if she started dating?

She put the coffee on and went to take a shower. After her shower, she stood in front of the full–length mirror attached to the back of the bathroom door. She viewed herself in the mirror before reaching for a towel. She turned to her right, then her left. She took particular notice of her rear end. Was it too big? Her wet hair was wild and flat. She liked how she looked without makeup, but she knew how to apply it when the occasion called for it; then she really looked good. Most days she applied just enough to get by; there wasn’t anyone to impress. Everyone at the CPA firm where she worked was either married or unavailable.

Jennifer was brought back to reality when Josh yelled, ‘Bye, Mom!

Have a good day! Jennifer yelled through the closed door.

She got dressed and dried her hair, looking in the same mirror she had used to evaluate her body. She applied her makeup and took a long look at the results. She frowned at her image. She needed to learn to smile more; her friend Diane always said she looked better when she smiled. Diane was the one who had told her about Online Cupid. She was always out with some new guy that she had met online. Diane made dating online look so glamorous! She would tell Jennifer about all the fun she was having and all the places her dates took her. Jennifer was tired of living vicariously through her friend, so it was time to jump into the online pool herself.

Jennifer also knew, though, that Diane was much more outgoing then she herself was. Plus, she had a body to die for. Diane had a bed shot in her inventory of pictures on her page; she had lots of pictures there. She always told Jennifer, "You have to advertise yourself online." Jennifer wasn’t sure she could advertise herself the same way. First, she needed to work up enough courage just to post a picture that showed her entire face.

Jennifer knew that this was as good as she was going to look today, so she gathered all her stuff together and went to unplug her iPhone. It was on her bedside table. When she unplugged the phone, she looked at the icon for her mail. There were four new emails. She was surprised; only rarely did she have emails this early in the morning.

Jennifer touched the online icon and it went to her homepage. The little envelope at the top right of the page showed a number four. She touched the envelope and her emails appeared. They were all messages from men on Online Cupid. She was shocked. Four men had already messaged her. What time do these men wake up? she thought. She didn’t have time to view the emails; she had to get to work. The messages would have to wait.

This was the first morning in a long time that Jennifer had smiled on the way to work. Four messages already! Four men had viewed her profile; maybe she wasn’t a lost cause after all. Now she thought that perhaps there was hope for her, that she wouldn’t have to go on spending every Friday night at home watching a movie, eating a bowl of ice cream. She drove to work and tried to imagine what the men were like, what they looked like, what they liked about her. Jennifer realized that she hadn’t felt this positive in a very long time.

She drove into the CPA firm’s parking lot and decided to park in a different spot. She had driven into the same parking lot for six years and had always parked in the same spot. Today she needed a change; her life was going to change today, and in a good way. She walked through the front door of the building, still smiling. She waved and said hello to the group standing around the front desk.