Priscilla the Great Omnibus 2 (2 book bundle, short stories, study guide questions)

By Sybil Nelson

This collection includes:

Priscilla the Great Volume 4: Bring the Pain
If you think getting beat up by super-villains hurts, try falling in love! I, Priscilla Sumner, am once again the hottest girl in River’s Bend. It’s good to be back, but things aren’t quite the same. My parents are getting divorced, my boyfriend is keeping secrets from me and Specimen Xi is asking me for relationship advice. Yeah, talk about crazy. And if that wasn’t bad enough, someone has been killing Specimens all around the world. So now it’s up to Tai, Kyle and me to stop them before they get to my family. Whoever it is better watch out, ‘cause we’re about to bring the pain.

Priscilla the Great Volume 5: The Time Traveling Bullet
How would you like it if you accidentally lost 25 years of your life? Well that is exactly what happened to me, Priscilla Maxine Sumner, a.k.a the hottest girl in River's Bend. I wake up one day and the world is in total chaos! My brothers have kids, my best friend is old, and the Pittsburgh Pirates won the World Series and I missed it. I totally missed it! My life might as well be over. And if Xi has anything to do with it, it will be.

Priscilla the Great Versus the World
Join Priscilla Sumner, the ordinary girl with some extraordinary gifts, as she goes up against a bully, some haunted money, and her entire town in three hilarious short stories. After reading these, you'll know why she's called Priscilla the Great.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sybil Nelson
• Release date: May 4, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310652967

Sybil Nelson

Sybil Nelson lives in Charleston, South Carolina with her husband and two children. She currently attends the Medical University where she’s earning her PhD in Biostatistics.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Here we go Again

I awoke tied to a table. My neck was killing me and I couldn't move any part of my body.

Holy Ham and Cheese! Not again, I said as I struggled against the restraints. The more I moved the more pain I felt seeping through every pore of my body. What the heck was going on? I had super human strength, why couldn't I lift my body off this stupid table? I looked down and found the reason. There was a glowing inhibitor collar around my neck. I was powerless and at the mercy of whoever it was that had captured me.

I was so sick of getting kidnapped! Did this tendency to get taken by evil villains come with the territory? I mean, was there some super power guidebook that had an entire chapter about being kidnapped by the bad guy? If so, someone needed to send me a copy quick, fast, and in a hurry.

Oh, good. You're awake. I thought I had already killed you. That would be no fun at all, a sickening British accent said.

Xi, is that you?

Of course it is. What a silly question, she said stepping into my limited line of sight.

So much for mercy. Specimen Xi was the most insane and disturbed genetically enhanced superhuman created in a laboratory ever. Seriously, somebody must have shaken the test tube that girl was created in.

She probably stayed awake at night thinking up the most painful way to kill me. Looks like she might have figured it out.

What do you want, Xi?

Well that, too, is a ridiculous question. You sure are not very bright today. What do you think I want?

You want me to die a painful death. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just do it already. I don't feel like having polite conversation.

Tsk, tsk, Priscilla. Aren't we grumpy? Oh, that's right. You're having boyfriend trouble, aren't you?

For a second I didn't know if she was talking about Marco or Kyle. Fortunately ... or unfortunately, she went on to clarify.

You lie to Kyle for months, and then kiss Marco right in front of him. Then you get Marco killed. And going back to Kyle has proven harder than you expected hasn't it? Now he's keeping secrets from you.

How did she know all of this?

Shut up, Xi. I did not get Marco killed. If anything, you did. He was trying to stop you and Colonel Selliwood. And about Kyle … just shut up about Kyle. There was nothing I could say to refute her there. Unfortunately, she was right about that part. I had to lie to Kyle for his own safety. I didn't want him to know that I was the daughter of a genetically enhanced super human and that evil villains were chasing my family all over the world. I underestimated Kyle and thought he would reject me if he knew I had super hearing, super strength and could shoot fire out of my fingers.

Marco was another specimen around my age and I didn't mean to, but I fell for him. He was like me and I thought we belonged together. Maybe we did belong together. I would never know for sure because now he was dead.

Xi didn't respond at first. She took a mirror out of her purse and ran her fingers through her waist length black hair with hot pink highlights.

Believe it or not, I'm a little jealous of you, she said, snapping the compact shut. I was too shocked to actually respond with words. I kind of gave a confused grunt before she continued. You've had two boys completely mad about you. I've never had a boyfriend.

Wha ... huh? Again, too shocked for real words.

I don't mind telling you all this because I'm about to kill you anyway. She hopped up on the table right next to my feet and crossed her legs. I haven't even had my first kiss yet. Boys just aren't interested in me.

That's because you're a psycho. I probably shouldn't have said that considering I was powerless to defend myself, but I couldn't help it. I mean, it was true. And what did it matter what I said? She was about to kill me anyway.

Xi glared at me. Then she looked away and shrugged. You're probably right. But it doesn't matter. Even if I kissed a boy I probably wouldn't be able to feel a thing. Xi had no sense of touch. She was extremely hard to defeat in a fight because she never felt it when I burned her. And even if I burned her, she could regenerate her body parts so she just grew her flesh again. The last time I fought her, Marco and I cut off both her hands in order to get away. From the fresh coat of hot pink polish on her nails, I could see her hands had grown back nicely.

Xi looked sad. Suddenly, I felt the need to play psychologist. Look, what are you? Twelve years old? You still have plenty of time. I didn't have my first kiss until my thirteenth birthday.

And how was it? Did you see stars or the like? Xi turned toward me excitedly and tucked her hair behind her ears like a child at a slumber party. I expected her to whip out a hairbrush and start singing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

Yes, Xi was a psycho and yes she was currently trying to kill me, but I actually felt a little sorry for her. And thinking about my first kiss with Kyle brought up a whole bunch of warm fuzzy feelings. I couldn't help but talk about it. I saw stars. I felt explosions. Thousands of butterflies danced in my stomach. I still get that feeling even when I just look at him.

Wow, she said as she stared up at the ceiling with a wistful look in her eyes. What about Marco? What was it like to kiss Marco?

I wondered how she even knew about that. She probably read my mind. Almost all the specimens had some sort of telepathy. My mother could move things with her mind and my brother, Josh, could see the future. My father was a normal human. And though my five-year-old twin baby brothers hadn't developed any powers yet they were far from normal. Let's just say they liked to throw poop and blow their snot on unsuspecting targets.

Marco only kissed me to protect me from Specimen Zero. That was partly true. Marco had the ability to convert his entire body to metal. Once in metal form he was pretty much invincible. He could stop a bullet at point blank range. Marco could also transfer his powers through an enzyme in his saliva. Thus the kiss.

Xi rolled her eyes. You think I'm some sort of tosser? I saw the way he looked at you. He was totally smitten.

Once again, Xi was exactly right. He was ... smitten with me, or whatever. We'd always had a special connection to each other. I felt it the first time I saw him when I helped him and the other specimens escape the Selliwood Institute where they were created.

I thought back to that kiss with Marco. While it started out as just business, it kinda morphed into something more. It was amazing. Thinking about that kiss made me miss him even more.

Three months ago, Marco, Josh, Ryan, Ian and I traveled to the Arctic Circle and captured Colonel Selliwood. In his metal form, Marco was too dense to swim. He ended up sinking to the bottom of the Arctic Ocean.

It doesn't matter. He's dead now. I turned my head away so she wouldn't see the tears glistening in my eyes.

What if I told you he wasn't?

I turned again and stared at her like we were in a poker game and she was claiming to have four aces. It was possible, but I didn't know whether to trust her or not. But considering my hand was like a bad hand in Go Fish, I had no choice but to believe her. Okay, that analogy got way out of control. Moving on.

This conversation has gotten boring, she said, finally ending our staring match. Let's get this over with, shall we? She hopped off the table and grabbed a syringe off of a nearby desk. She squeezed a little bit of white liquid out of the top of it. Don't worry, she said, walking toward me slowly with a sinister grin. Okay, you might want to worry. In fact, go ahead and panic if you like. This is going to be extremely painful.

Xi's main goal in life was to cause other people pain since she couldn't feel pain herself. I knew whatever she had planned for me would be beyond anything I could ever imagine. I doubted if I would survive. My mind raced trying to figure out a way out of this. I couldn’t think of a single thing. Was this the end? Just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone burst into the room.

Kyle? What are you doing here?

Chapter 2

Back to School

Two months earlier ...

Being back in River's Bend was a dream come true for me. I'd missed everyone so much. I mean, of course I missed Kyle and Tai. That was a given. But I couldn't believe how much I missed everyone else as well. The first time I saw Mr. Grayson, the town drunk, I actually gave him a hug.

The first day I was back, I literally wanted to run through the streets singing show tunes or something. But, of course, I couldn’t sing. In fact, I sing so badly that I probably would have been arrested for public indecency.

I even missed Polk Middle school. Yeah, I know right. Me, missing school. But I did. I know it sounds crazy, but I missed the constant fighting with the eighth graders. I never got to enjoy my Ice Cream Challenge win. I had totally become the first girl to claim victory and the first seventh grader to beat an eighth grader in the all out ice cream gorging we called the ICC.  But I never got a chance to enjoy my winnings. There should have been a seat by the ice cream machine with my name on it.

I had to figure out a way to get my mom to let me go back to public school. The whole time we lived in Missouri, Dad wouldn't let any of us kids go to school. We had to learn at home. This home school thing was just not going to work for my social life.

No amount of begging my mother to let me go back to school worked. But one day, I finally figured out something that did.

Mom, please let me go back to Polk Middle, I had asked for probably the fifteenth time that day.

I'm not sure it's safe yet, Sweetie, she had said not even looking up from her Modern Science magazine. She was used to this routine. But she wasn't ready for this curve ball I was about to toss her way.

I rolled my eyes and gave a dramatic sigh. You sound just like Dad, you know?

My mother snapped her magazine shut and glared at me. What did you say?

Witherall is dead and Selliwood is in jail, I said ignoring her question and letting the Dad comment marinate.

I do not sound like that paranoid control freak you call a father. She stood and started pacing the living room.

Game. Set. Match.

The next day, my mother took me to re-enroll in Polk Middle.

Hello, I'd like to enroll my daughter into seventh grade, my mother said to Mr. Owen, who was sitting at the front desk.

Oh, um, I don't really know anything about that. Hic. Mr. Owen scratched his head. I swear I saw his brown hairpiece move two inches like it was trying to run away from his head.

I'm actually the ... hic ... drama teacher. I'm covering for the office staff while they go to ... hic ... lunch.

I looked around. The office was completely empty. I wondered how Mr. Owen ended up drawing the short straw and having to miss lunch to babysit an empty office.

What are a hic drama teacher and a hic lunch? my mother asked me telepathically.

I almost burst out laughing. I forgot my mother had never met Mr. Owen so she didn't know about his affliction. In fact, my mother didn't know a lot of people in town. She had always been so busy fighting against Selliwood. I wondered if that would change now. Would she become the typical River's Bend mom and bring fresh baked cookies to the school play and coolers of Gatorade to the little league games?

Nothing. He's just got the hiccups. I explained to her.

Oh. Well, should I wait? she asked him.

Yes, please, wait. Hic. Have a seat, Mrs. … hic. I'm sorry. I'm not sure what to call you anymore.

What do you mean?

I mean, I heard ... hic ... about the divorce. Will you still be going by Sumner ... hic ... or will you switch to your maiden name?

For the first time ever and I do mean ever, I saw my mother get flustered in public. I don't think she had ever considered the name thing. She never had a name before she met my father. When she lived at the Institute she was just known as Specimen Q. When she fell in love with my father and they ran away together, he was the one that named her Quindolyn. Then they got married and she took his name. My father was like part of her identity. I didn't think she knew who she was without him.

Of course, we had just found out that Mr. Witherall was her biological father, which meant he was my grandfather. Ew. Gross. I didn't even want to think about that. I wondered if my mother would take his name since she was not going to be a Sumner anymore. Quindolyn Witherall. Nope. No Way. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it at all. I had to find a way to get her back together with my Dad.

Stupid small town. Why did everyone have to know everything about everyone? It would have been so nice to just pretend that my parents were still together and that Dad and the boys were away on business or something. But no way would an explanation like that work. Small town gossips were like bloodhounds. They could smell a divorce as soon as my mother and I returned to River's Bend alone. I wanted to stand on the roof of my house and yell to everyone in town that there would be no divorce. My parents were going to get back together. At least I hoped they would.

My mother drifted into a place inside her mind. On the outside, she looked normal but on the inside I could tell she was thinking about my father and fighting the urge to break down in tears.

I've seen Priscilla ... hic ... around school for the past couple of years, Mr. Owen continued, not noticing my mother's discomfort. but I haven't had the pleasure of having her in one of my ...  hic...productions. How old are you Priscilla?

I turned thirteen this past December, I said guiding my mother into a seat.

Wow. Thirteen. I have to say, Mrs. Sumner ... hic, you barely look old enough to have a thirteen-year-old daughter. You look like a ... hic ... teenager yourself.

What do you mean? What do you know of the aging of my genes? my mother said in a panic. Mom, chill. He's just hitting on you, I said trying to calm her down.

Hitting on me? What does this mean? He's not even touching me, she asked me telepathically.

I'll explain later, I said taking a closer look at Mr. Owen. Yeah, he was definitely hitting on my mother and I totally understood why. She was gorgeous. Imagine a redheaded Angelina Jolie. That about summed it up.

Mr. Owen wasn't too bad looking himself now that I took a good look at him. He was probably in his early forties and cute in a Matthew Perry kind of way. Well, Matthew Perry with a bad toupee. He totally had the looks to be a famous actor. And from what I heard, he had the opportunity as well. He was a Broadway actor right out of high school and well on his way to being discovered when he was struck with a debilitating disease. Hiccups. Now you might think that's not so bad. But for an actor it was devastating, especially when you have the hiccups nonstop for twenty-three years. Can you imagine being in the middle of The Phantom of the Opera and reaching for that high note and then … hiccupping? Well, Mr. Owen could. It happened to him.

I heard that at one point his rendition of Hamlet got him a nomination for a Tony award. That's a big deal apparently. But after the hiccups struck, he couldn't get a job anywhere. So then he was stuck teaching middle school drama. He didn't seem particularly upset about it. I know most people would be totally bitter that they had to give up their glitzy life in New York to live in a hole in the ground like River's Bend and teach bratty middle schoolers. But Mr. Owen seemed like he kind of enjoyed it. I wondered what would happen if he one day got cured. Would he give New York another chance? He didn't have to worry about that question though. After twenty-three years of trying every remedy in the book, nothing worked. Nothing. Mr. Owen was going to have hiccups for the rest of his life.

Cute or not, hiccups or not, Broadway or not, there was no way I was letting Mr. Owen put the moves on my mother. This was going to call for some super powered sabotage.

Chapter 3

The Tutor

I spent the first week back at school just catching up on the latest gossip. Of course my best friend Tai should have kept me up to date, but she was too busy actually doing work during school to really know what was going on with everyone. Besides, she was taking all eighth grade classes so she really didn't know what was up with the seventh graders most of the time. Like she had no idea that Helen and Manny had dated and broken up three times in the six months I had been gone. Not that their relationship was especially important or anything. It was just that three break ups in six months was well below their average. They must have been to couples’ counseling or something.

And I had no idea that Cali Crawford actually went blond for a month like her skanky sister who broke my older brother's heart. What in the world was she thinking? She totally didn't have the right coloring for that. Imagine Pocahontas going blond. Not to say that Cali is Native American or anything. She was just really tanned and had naturally long, rich dark hair. But I'm getting off track. What was I talking about?

Oh, yeah. While I got caught up on all the goings on at school, it was also time to get caught up on school work and stuff. Sure, I was supposed to be doing my home school assignments while we lived in Missouri but between saving the president's daughter, flying to the Arctic Circle and defeating Selliwood's underground base, I really didn't have much time to read Lord of the Flies or make models of the solar system.

Kyle took it upon himself to go over everything I'd missed while I was gone. Considering his grade point average was even lower than mine, it probably wasn't a good idea for him to be my tutor. But I don't think we were thinking with our brains when we came up with the arrangement.

Being around Kyle again was like being in the same place for the first time. It was exciting and new but comfortable and familiar all at once, if that makes any sense.

After the tragedy at the Arctic Circle, I found him signing autographs at a baseball game. He was the face of the new cereal Mini Frosted Funnel Cakes, so for some reason crazy nine-year-old girls would actually stand in line to get his autograph. It was crazy. It was like he was a pop star or something. The Justin Bieber of cereal. There was even a fan website dedicated to him. Whatever. Anyway, I cried my eyes out for hours and he just held me. Then we sat in that parking lot and I told him everything. And boy do I mean everything.

So he knew my secret. He knew about my powers and he didn't run away screaming. He accepted me for who I was, a freak who could shoot fire out of her fingers and lift a car with one hand. But he didn't treat me like a freak. He just treated me like I was the same old Priss. And when he looked at me with his sweet blue eyes, I didn't feel like a freak. I felt like a regular seventh grade girl who had the greatest boyfriend in the world.

Okay, three out of five, Kyle said, balling up another sheet of paper. Actually, it might have been our algebra assignment that he was crumpling but neither of us really cared. He had already missed his first two shots into the trashcan yet he wouldn't accept defeat.

I crossed my arms confidently. Fine, three out of five. Hey, make it four out of seven. It won't matter. You've never beaten me at anything.

That's not true! he protested.

Uh, yeah, it is.

Is one of your super powers a Swiss cheese memory?

Ha, ha.

So I guess you don't remember the water basketball match at Spencer's house last Labor Day.

Of course I remembered that day. That was the day I discovered my powers. I was stuck in Cali Crawford's bathroom accidently setting things on fire. I was totally freaked out. Right before then Kyle had made the winning shot in our water basketball match, but there was a reason for that. Back then I had a super huge crush on Spencer Callahan. Anyway, he took his shirt off and totally distracted me, allowing Kyle to take the game.

Okay, so you beat me at water basketball. That's one thing in, what, thirteen years.

Last July 12th, Willie's Sweet Shop. I stuffed 21 tootsie rolls in my mouth. You could only fit 19.

I tried to think back to that day. I vaguely remembered something about a tootsie roll stuffing contest.

How do you remember stuff like that?

Every moment with you is kind of unforgettable. Kyle blushed as he quickly turned away from me. What I mean is ... um ... you're so annoying that ... I ... um...

Whatever, Kyle. I know what you mean. I kissed him on the cheek and then punched him in the arm. Fine, I will admit that you occasionally beat me, but you're not going to beat me at this.

Kyle got a determined look on his face. I knew he meant business. We might be stuck in his basement for the rest of the night until he made more baskets into the trashcan. Or I finally let him win.

Kyle raised his arms and sailed the balled up piece of paper across the room. It went in.

So you got one. Big deal. Not gonna happen … I cut my sentence short as soon as the second piece of trash landed in.

One more and I win, he said. What were the stakes again?

I rolled my eyes. He knew exactly what they were. He just wanted me to say it.  If you win, I'll wear your freaking Mini Frosted Funnel Cakes shirt to school tomorrow. Kyle had been bugging me for a week to wear a T-shirt that was basically a huge picture of his face that started at the neck and went down to the navel. It was awful and embarrassing, which was exactly why he wanted me to wear it.

Kyle grinned. Darn right you will. He raised his arms and shot the paper. It went into the air in a perfect arch. It was definitely going in. I couldn't let that happen. There was no way I was wearing that shirt. I pointed my index finger and sent a stream of fire to disintegrate it in mid-air.

You cheater, Kyle screamed.

What? I said innocently.

Oh, you're going down.

Kyle picked me up and tossed me over his shoulder as he tickled me.  Wow, Kyle had gotten pretty strong in the six months I had been away. Did he start working out?

Kyle tossed me on the couch and continued his tickling assault. Of course, I was ten times stronger than him. I could have pushed him off of me and sent him through the roof of the basement with one swift kick if I wanted him to stop. But who says I wanted him to stop?

I better stop, Kyle said as he suddenly froze. He stared into my eyes. He was so close to me I could smell the watermelon Jolly Rancher he had just finished.

Why? I asked, touching his stomach through his polo shirt.  Oh my, he had six pack abs. When did that happen?

What if I kiss you and you accidently set me on fire?

I rolled my eyes. That's not gonna happen, Kyle. I have complete control over my powers. I've had them for like eight months. And besides, we've kissed before, remember? The last time we kissed was after my thirteenth birthday party last December.  After that, we'd tried again on our movie date but got interrupted by Marco. Great, now I was thinking about Marco.

Are you sure?

I nodded. Yes I was sure I wouldn't set him on fire, but I wasn't sure I could kiss him while thinking of Marco. This would be our first kiss since I came back. We had decided to take it slow.

Kyle closed his eyes and leaned in when suddenly I started buzzing.

What was that? he yelled, hopping off me like I had suddenly turned into an electric fence.

Relax. It's just my hair bow.

What? That explanation didn’t make him feel any better.

I took the rhinestone butterfly clip out of my hair and held it up for him. It's Tai's latest invention. It's a communication device. I pressed a couple of buttons on it and set it down on the coffee table. Any second a hologram of Tai should appear. Only Tai didn't appear. Instead ...

Oh snap, Priss! Is that the President?

Chapter 4

Orders from the President

Kyle was pretty freaked out to see the President's holographic form projecting in his basement. He stood then bowed, then sat and saluted. He didn't know what he was doing.

At ease, President Gonzalez said with a smile.

Yes, Mr. President, Kyle said as he awkwardly stuffed his hands in his pocket. Something kind of hard to do when you're sitting.

Mr. President, we weren't expecting you, I said, wracking my brain to try to figure out why he would be calling. I mean, after Tai came up with the hologram barrette thingy, I just gave his daughter Elizabeth one just because I knew she'd think it was cool. Elizabeth was the fifteen-year-old daughter of the President. After I rescued her from a kidnapping, we hit it off pretty quickly and became instant friends. Later, when I needed help covering up the Arctic Circle episode and putting Selliwood in jail, she called in a favor from her dad.

I sat up straight and scooted away from Kyle as if we had just been caught making out by our parents. I mean this was the President. He was like the parent of the country. He was the parent of all parents.

I know. I'm sorry for the intrusion, but your country needs you, Priscilla, President Gonzalez said.

Is it weird that I got tingles of excitement on my neck? I mean those are the words that the super cool super agent hears in the movies. I was now that super cool super agent and I had super powers too. This was awesome. This was so freaking awesome.

Anything you need, Mr. President, I said, so excited I was about to burst like a fruit flavored candy sitting out in the sun.

Is it okay for me to speak freely? he asked nodding toward Kyle.

I nodded. Yeah, he's cool. He knows everything.

All right. President Gonzalez opened a file and then said, First of all, Colonel Selliwood's trial is scheduled to begin June 17th. I would like for you and your family to be in attendance.

Do you want me to testify? I asked as the tingles of excitement started to morph into tingles of nervousness. I had never had to testify in court before. What if I couldn't do it? What if I got too scared and choked? How weird. I had no problem fighting in hand-to-hand combat. I was totally confident about that. But testifying in a courtroom made me nervous.

No, we don't want you to testify. In fact, we would prefer it if no one knew about you and your family at all. He looked over at Kyle again.

Don't worry, Kyle said quickly. No one else knows besides Tai and me and I'm real good at keeping secrets. Like I never told anyone that the reason she wore a hat for two weeks in the third grade was because she tried to dye her hair blond and it turned green.

I glared at him.

I mean, Kyle said as his face turned red, I guess I never told anyone until now. He looked down at his hands. I elbowed him in the side and he fell off the couch. I sometimes forgot how strong I was.

Anyway, I