The Greater Good

By Henry Brown

Infinite crises are going to waste! Greedy businessmen are making profits! Insensitive hatemongers are trying to make it against the law to be an illegal alien! People are harboring intolerant thoughts, while others are abusing freedom of speech to broadcast incorrect opinions!

The world has never known such need for a new narrative to neuter the nefarious network of neanderthal neo-fascists knocking at the noble ramparts of progress.

In a nutshell, the world needs a national agency of superheroes who know that now and then it's necessary to negate a few nugatory individual rights for the sake of the greater good.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Henry Brown
• Release date: Nov 27, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310981654

Henry Brown

I was born and raised in a small town in Georgia. Left home for the military right after graduation of high school. During my ten years in military I became the father of two beautiful girls. Once my service time was completed I returned back to Georgia. I attended several schools for several trade to ensure I’ll always be able to provide for my family. While attending school for criminal justice I read a story I’d written while still in military. My teacher at the time, whom was a well known writer, said my writing was very good. So from that day to this day I picked up my pen and pad and begin writing about any and everything. I’d post some stories online and that’s when I begin to gain an audience of family, friends, co workers as well as strangers. Alot would encourage me to get my words published. And from that I present to you The Minds Of.................

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The Greater Good

Henry Brown

Copyright 2014

All rights reserved.

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MEDIA CZAR'S WARNING:

Experts have determined that reading satirical literature like this can cause unauthorized cognitive functions, subject to punitive action including, but not limited to:

Boycotts of your business.

Special scrutiny by the IRS and other unaccountable government agencies.

Accusations of racism.

Characters and situations depicted in this satire/lampoon/spoof may or may not be inspired by real people and events. Then again, they may or may not be inspired by movies, comic books or TV shows. If so, the names have been changed to protect the guilty.

1

THE BEARING STRAIT

A chilling wind swept over the barren wasteland. In all directions, as far as the eye could see, there was nothing but desolate emptiness. In such a dreary location the imagination tends to wander and one can't help wondering if maybe there was, at some point in time immemorial, an advanced, thriving civilization long departed for some unknown reason, all evidence of its achievements in culture and technology now buried under the ruin of time.

But enough about Detroit. This story begins far to the north, and quite a ways west.

The large, steel-hulled ship steamed through the icy waters, between the frozen steppes of Siberia on the left and the frozen tundra of Alaska on the right. A man sitting alone in his private cabin watched the godforsaken scenery slide by.

Tyrone Tirikeldaun didn’t necessarily have to become a supervillain. He could have just as easily become a healthy, positive contributor to society…like an actor, community organizer or Occupy protester.

He had a promising start—watching network television, playing video games, complaining a lot and letting his parents support him while waiting for his first welfare check.

Then, to the detriment of all that lives, he got an idea.

Instead of watching TV and playing video games, he worked on the idea and it grew into a business. But not a socially responsible business that loses money or, at best, breaks even. Once all his expenses were covered and bills paid, he had some money left over. To compound this unethical behavior, he kept that money for himself, reinvesting it in his business.

It was a slippery slope from there. Before long, he was looking for tax breaks to take advantage of, gleefully hoarding as much of the money he earned as was possible.

Villainy was like a drug to him. He couldn’t get enough. The compulsion to oppress the working class and destroy the environment only grew stronger, the more people bought his products.

Tyrone Trikeldaun’s eyes sparkled with a villainous glint as he gazed out over the North Alaskan coast through the cabin porthole in his ship, the SS Unfair Advantage. If only I had time, he thought, I could murder a whole bunch of cute little animals. I could drop anchor, set up some oil drilling equipment and watch multiple species frightened to extinction by the sight of a man-made object.

He sighed and sipped from his decadent 64 ounce Big Glunk. Maybe, as a consolation, he could take a landing party ashore on the way back and swat some protected species of spotted mosquito or something. There were no trees from the Brazilian Rainforest handy to slash, burn, or otherwise take his villainous sadism out on, so he would have to make do.

He pushed the intercom button and asked, How long until we’re in the Arctic Circle?

Henchman 34 replied, through the speaker, We’re about to cross into the Arctic Circle very soon, now.

Oh. I mean that other circle, then. You know—the one that’s like a hundred mile radius from the North Pole. I pointed to it on the big map display in my underground lair when I was explaining the plan.

Right, sir. We should be there within a week, depending on how thick the ice is.

Arctic Circle, schmartcic circle. They’d have to think up a different name for it soon. He laughed maniacally and rubbed his hands together.

2

THE CAPITOL

Elsa Von Branefuq yawned and stretched. This session of the House of Representatives had been grinding along non-stop for hours, and they hadn't even voted themselves another pay raise yet.

In summary, the Speaker of the House said, in order to preempt the spread of a potential outbreak of the Zombie Plague, this bill will require the replacement of public drinking water with Compound X-13.

Predictably, a renegade Congressman from one of the flyover states just had to raise an objection. Ms. Speaker, it is puzzling why you have this urgency to address a problem which might not even exist by mandating that citizens drink something that contains a deadly poison.

With all due respect to the gentleman from flyover country, Representative Vlad Impaler said, there's not one smidgeon of evidence that Strychnine is in the compound, or that it's poisonous.

Every single time it's been used in substantial doses, it's been fatal, insisted the fringe lunatic right-winger. "Why don't we at least examine the compound before we vote, to settle for sure exactly