Tough Times

By Trish Edmisten

The day Chelsea’s been waiting for is finally here. Justin Jacobs asked her to marry him and she couldn’t be happier. There’s just one problem. Justin has cancer. Before they can plan their wedding, they’ve got to face the reality that it might never come. Will Justin and Chelsea be able to make it through these tough times, or will Justin’s cancer destroy more than their relationship?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trish Edmisten
• Release date: Feb 11, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310835360

Trish Edmisten

Author of YA and contemporary romance.

Book preview

Tough Times

Trish Edmisten

Trish Edmisten

Copyright © 2015 by Trish Edmisten

Smashwords Edition

For Nick, Chad, Mark, Steve and especially A.S.

Thank you for having the courage to share your stories

Chapter One

You bitch! I can’t believe you didn’t tell me everything that’s happened!

Chelsea Schumacher held her cell phone away from her ear. Even though her dear friend was shrieking at her, Chelsea knew Marcy wasn’t angry.

I come all the way to L.A. and I have to find out from Randi.

What are you doing in L.A.?

That’s not important right now. How could you not tell me?

Tell you what?

Chelsea knew she was risking being subjected to another round of Marcy’s banshee like shrieks, but she couldn’t resist baiting her friend.

You know what. That you quit your job and moved back to Sherwood to live with Justin because he asked you to marry him!

Chelsea suppressed a giggle. Oh, that.

"Yes, that! How could you not tell me something that monumental?"

I’ve had a lot on my mind lately.

I heard about that too. How’s Justin doing?

Marcy’s softer tone told Chelsea what she was really asking. How was Justin doing since being diagnosed with testicular cancer? The recent revelation of his cancer prompted Chelsea to leave her job, and her life in Los Angeles, to move back to her hometown to take care of him.

Chelsea glanced over at Justin. At the moment, he was pacing back and forth in front of their bed, cell phone pressed to his ear as he spoke to his mother. The scowl on his face made clear how he felt about whatever conversation they were having.

Right now he’s all right. Chelsea spoke quietly, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on the fact that she was talking about his cancer. He’s scheduled for surgery on Tuesday and we’ll find out more after that.

The surgery would remove one of his testicles and hopefully remove all of the cancer the doctors detected on a recent ultrasound. There was always the slim chance he didn’t have cancer and that pre-cancerous cells had formed the mass in his testicle, but Chelsea knew better than to put that kind of hope in either of them.

After his diagnosis, she did endless research. The idea was to learn enough about his cancer to be able to help him, but she overburdened herself with information.

It was because of that overburdening that she knew the lump on his testicle wasn’t the result of a cluster of pre-cancerous cells. Those kinds of lumps didn’t usually form unless there was cancer present in the testicle.

The most realistic thing they could do now was hope the surgery rid him of cancer and the biopsy of his tumor showed the cancer was in an early enough stage that his subsequent treatment would be minimal.

What about you? Marcy asked. How are you?

I’m engaged, Chelsea replied, unable to keep from smiling.

Marcy laughed. Yeah, you are and I’m happy for you, but you should have told me sooner.

How was I supposed to know you would make a surprise visit to L.A.? What are you doing there anyway? I know you didn’t come just to see me.

You’re not going to believe this, but I got a job here.

Chelsea’s jaw dropped. Are you serious?

Yes, I am. My company is moving me to the L.A. office.

That’s great. Wait, you’re happy about this right?

I was a lot happier when I thought you were going to be living here too, but yes, I’m happy.

Good, then I’m happy for you too. So, when do you transfer?

I’m supposed to start in two weeks. The company was going to put me up in one of those Residence Inn things for a month while I looked for a place of my own.

Chelsea frowned. And now they’re not?

No need now that I’ve found a place to live.

That was fast. Where are you moving? I hope you’re not rushing in to picking something because the rent is cheap. That’s not always a good thing.

Marcy giggled. Actually, I found a roommate.

Already? Are you sure that’s a good idea?

It is unless there’s some reason you can think of that I shouldn’t move in with Randi.

Randi Jennings had been Chelsea’s roommate the few short years she lived in Los Angeles. If it wasn’t for Justin’s cancer, they probably still would have been living together, but there was no way Chelsea could live with herself if she stayed there and supported Justin from afar.

Even though Randi understood why she had to leave, Chelsea hated leaving her friend stuck paying all the bills until she could find a new roommate. Marcy moving in with Randi solved more than just the problem of Randi having to find a replacement roommate on short notice.

Marcy was someone Chelsea trusted implicitly. Marcy wasn’t going to stiff Randi for the rent or rip off any of her things, which Chelsea knew for a fact because they’d known each other since they were thirteen years old.

She and Danni and Marcy met in junior high and stayed friends all the way through high school. Even though they went to different colleges after high school, they never let themselves lose contact with each other.

Only a few months ago, they were back together for Danni’s wedding to Darren Jacobs, her high school sweetheart and younger brother of the man Chelsea was currently in love with; currently and always.

Chelsea was seventeen years old the first time she laid eyes on Justin Jacobs, a gorgeous blond who was far out of her league and it wasn’t just because he was twenty-five years old.

Justin was the kind of man who had been so popular in high school that girls like Chelsea never registered on his radar. Besides being good-looking, he was athletic and outgoing with an inborn ability to draw people into his orbit.

Despite her desperate crush, she never imagined they would one day fall in love and be staring down the barrel of a cancer diagnosis.

You are okay with this, right?

I think it’s great.

I’m glad you think so. I was worried you might be upset.

Chelsea frowned. Why would I be upset? Randi needs a roommate and you need a place to live. That’s what I call a win-win situation.

In that case, I hope you don’t mind if I move your stuff into storage until you can come back for it.

You can get rid of it if you want. I took everything I need.

Are you sure?

Yes, I’m sure.

I don’t know, Marcy hedged. Maybe it would be better if I just put it in storage. There might be some sentimental stuff there that you overlooked in your haste to get home. I wouldn’t be able to live with the guilt if I threw away anything like that.

Chelsea doubted there was anything worth keeping hidden in her former bedroom. Everything she wanted and needed was already with her and she was just about to tell Marcy that when Justin threw his cell phone onto the bed.

Anger darkened his blue eyes as he stormed past her and Chelsea couldn’t stop her body’s reaction. That dangerous look made him irresistibly sexy, no matter what its cause. Sometimes, though she would never dare admit it to him, she even antagonized him to coax that predatory look out of him.

They had some of their best sex when he was angry or irritated. He never hurt her, never even hinted at wanting to hurt her. If he was ever aggressive toward her, she would have been out of there, but he wasn’t. Instead, he was aggressive with her and Chelsea was more than happy to let him play the aggressor.

If that look on his face was any indication, they were going to have a wild afternoon. Chelsea shivered in anticipation of him driving into her, arms pinned over her head.

Listen, Marce, I need to go.

What about your stuff?

Do whatever you want with it. I’ll talk to you later.

Ending the call before her friend could protest, Chelsea set her cell phone aside. Without having to leave the room, she knew where to find Justin. Her hunch was confirmed when she stepped out of the bedroom and heard the sound of his fists pummeling the punching bag hanging in his home gym.

Excitement surged inside of her as she headed down the hallway. Hopefully whatever he was pissed off about wasn’t something serious because she wasn’t sure she could keep from jumping him.

Chelsea’s breath caught at the sight of his shirtless form. He hadn’t been there long enough to work up a sweat so he hadn’t shed the shirt because he was too hot. Maybe he had done it to avoid overheating, which may have been working beautifully for him but was having the opposite effect on her.

The way his muscles moved as he worked the bag made her long to reach out and touch him, but she held back. Instead of announcing her presence, which he was thus far oblivious to, she stood back and watched him.

God damn it!

Rather than receding, Justin’s anger escalated with each connection his fist made with the sand bag. The punching bag was normally his go to for working out his frustration.

At least it had been until a few months ago when it stopped being as effective, replaced with sex. Not sex but fucking; angry, passionate, intense, unlike anything he’d ever felt fucking.

The first time he fucked Chelsea with so much anger and intensity, he was overcome with guilt. Expecting her to be as upset as he was guilty, he apologized for using her and not worshipping her body the way it deserved.

Damned if she hadn’t given him a seductive smile and told him that he could use her anytime he wanted. If Justin had any doubts she meant it, those were laid to rest every time she picked a fight with him over the most inane things and then offered up her body as an apology.

That wasn’t to say he didn’t love her and didn’t enjoy sex unless it was rough. Slow and sweet was often part of their lovemaking, but he had some pretty perverse tastes in the bedroom. It was nice to have a woman who embraced and explored it with him rather than putting them in some nice, safe box.

If you’re going to—

Instinct made him jump at the sound of Chelsea’s voice and the feel of a soft pair of hands on his back. Unfortunately for her, it was at that same moment that he reared back to load up another punch. The resulting combination was his elbow landing square on her nose.

Chelsea squealed and Justin whipped around to face her. The sight of the blood pouring from her nose wasn’t anywhere near as sickening as the way she crumpled to the ground at his feet. For a brief, frightening second, he thought he had knocked her out.

Dropping down in front of her, Justin scooped his T-shirt from the floor and pressed it to her nose. Chelsea, shit, babe, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?

You punched me, you bastard!

Technically I elbowed you.

Chelsea glared at him and Justin tried not to grin at her as he held the shirt tighter against the bridge of her nose. Schroeder, Chelsea’s dog, wandered into the room and bounded straight for her. There was no mistaking the concern in his eyes as he stared up at Chelsea.

When Schroeder looked from her to Justin, he would have sworn there was accusation in the dog’s gaze.

At least somebody cares about me, Chelsea said, her words muffled through his shirt.

I’m going to get you some ice so we can minimize the swelling and bruising. Justin sprang to his feet. Stay here and keep the shirt on. I’ll be right back.

Justin darted into the kitchen to grab an ice pack from the freezer. He returned to the gym to find her, still on her knees, peering into the mirror. Schroeder sat beside her. He was relieved to see the stream of blood had abated to a slow trickle.

Here. Justin handed her the ice pack as he kneeled beside her.

Chelsea snatched the ice pack from him. The sound of her wincing as she pressed the ice to the bridge of her nose filled him with guilt.

I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to hit you. I didn’t even know you were back there. It was just bad timing.

You didn’t see me in the mirror?

Not until it was too late.

I didn’t mean to scare you.

Justin smiled. I’ll bet you didn’t.

How come you’re in here? Did something happen with your mom?

Justin’s smile vanished. She wants us to come to dinner tomorrow, supposedly to celebrate our engagement.

That bitch! How dare she want to do something nice for us?

You know it’s not that simple.

What’s not that simple? Why don’t you want to have dinner with your family?

I’m having surgery in two days. Justin sighed as he slumped against the mirror. I don’t feel like having dinner with my family the day before I’m getting one of my nuts cut off. Call me a bastard, but it’s not something I feel like celebrating.

I thought we were celebrating our engagement.

Justin gave a bitter laugh. Come on, you know my mom better than that. She’ll use any excuse to pull us all together for a family dinner.

True, but I think her heart is in the right place.

I wish her nose was in the right place, that place being anywhere but my business.

Chelsea bit down on her lower lip. I’d give anything for what you have. If my mom was still alive, I wouldn’t care if she wanted to have dinner with me every night as long as it meant I’d see her again.

Justin felt like the world’s biggest prick. It had only been a few years since Chelsea’s mom passed away and it wasn’t just her mom she lost that day. Her dad was already long gone by the time her mom died, but she had a stepfather and a brother and sister, all of whom she lost when she lost her mom.

For whatever reason, her mom seemed to have been the glue that held the family together. When her mom died, they all scattered in different directions.

As crazy as his mother made him, something she did more and more lately, he couldn’t imagine not having her around. Even worse than losing his mom would have been losing his dad and his brother along with it.

Having almost lost his brother once, Justin couldn’t even stand the thought. It was enough to make his chest tighten up.

Let’s see your nose.

Chelsea pulled the ice pack away from her face. There was already some swelling, but it was slight. The redness was probably from the cold of the ice pack, at least he hoped it was.

What’s going on, J.J.? What’s the real reason you don’t want to have dinner with your parents?

Other than his brother, Darren, and Darren’s wife, Danni, Chelsea was the only one who called him J.J. It was something he and Darren started when they were kids. According to his dad, Justin started it when Darren was born, proclaiming his little brother was his D.J. and no one else was allowed to call him that nor would anyone be allowed to call Justin J.J.

It wasn’t until Darren was seventeen, and he met his future wife, that someone else began calling him D.J. Justin could still recall how shy and almost apologetic Darren was when he admitted to Justin that he told Danni it was okay to call him D.J.

At first it had been a little strange to hear someone else calling Darren by Justin’s exclusive pet name for him, but Danni softened the blow by calling him J.J. Until Chelsea came along, no one else called him J.J.

It wasn’t something she did often, but every time he heard her say it, he understood why Darren wanted Danni to call him D.J. There was an intimacy in it, something that belonged only to those closest to him.

I’d be fine with having dinner with my parents if that was all it was, but you and I both know better, Justin answered. Dinner is just the excuse my mom is using to get us over there. Then after she feeds us, and we’re all stupid from our food coma, she’ll start pushing her agenda.

And what’s her agenda?

I’m betting she wants to convince me to let her be there for my surgery.

Why?

Because that’s how she is. My mom looks like Mrs. Cleaver, but she’s got the mind of Mrs. Manson.

Chelsea laughed. She does not, but since you brought it up, why don’t you want her there?

Honestly?

No, I’d prefer if you lied to me. That would be great after getting elbowed in the face while trying to seduce you.

Justin raised an eyebrow. You were trying to seduce me?

Well, duh! Chelsea rolled her eyes. You’re pretty hard to resist when you’re half naked and pounding your punching bag with that dangerous look in your eyes.

You think you’ll always feel that way?

Why wouldn’t I?

Justin dropped his gaze to the floor. He hadn’t meant to ask the question that had been nagging him for the last week, but that was the trouble with Chelsea. Something about her made it easy to say things he couldn’t say to anyone else. That included his brother who had been Justin’s best friend until he fell in love with Chelsea.

Darren was still his one of his best friends, but Chelsea was the best of the best. Nobody knew him the way Chelsea did. That was probably why he was about to break down and confess one of his biggest fears since being diagnosed with testicular cancer and was definitely why she was giving him that penetrating stare.

Justin blew out a frustrated breath. This whole thing is so fucking emasculating.

Having testicular cancer? Chelsea guessed softly.

What else? I’m getting castrated in two days.

Considering you let me tie you up and spank you, I’m surprised you feel that way.

Justin gave her a lopsided smile. No kidding huh?

What are you really afraid of?

You’re not going to want me as much as you do now.

You have to know that’s not going to change how I feel about you, including how much I want to fuck you every time you’re anywhere near me.

You say that now because you don’t know, Justin insisted. In two days, when they mutilate me, you might change your mind and I don’t think I could take that. I don’t think I could take you looking at me and saying you want me because you don’t want to hurt my feelings by telling me how disgusted I make you because I’m not the same man you fell in love with.

I’m really torn here, Chelsea admitted. I want to tell you it’s physically impossible for me not to want you no matter what you look like, but I also want to tell you to fuck off for not having enough faith in me. I’m trying to take the high road though.

Justin smiled. Another of the things he loved so much about this woman was her ability to be brutally honest with him. Chelsea didn’t pull any punches with him, even if it meant risking his anger or some hurt feelings. He preferred that approach to the tell-me-what-you-think-I-want-to-hear school of thought.

We have a lot of sex, Justin said.

Yeah, I guess we do.

What happens when I can’t have sex with you?

The doctor said it won’t change your sex drive.

It will for a while, if I need chemo or radiation or something.

Yeah, probably, but it won’t be forever. Chelsea moved so that she sat on her haunches in front of him. Placing a soft hand on his cheek, she turned his head in her direction. I don’t think it will make as much of a difference in your appearance as you think it will and I’m one hundred percent certain it won’t permanently alter your sex drive or my attraction to you.

Can you promise me that?

Not only can I promise you, but I’ll prove it to you.

How will you do that?

After your surgery, and after we get home and you’re not all doped up from anesthesia, as soon as it’s safe, we’re going to sit in our bed and I’m going to take a good, long look at your remaining testicle, and you’re going to watch me do it and when you do, and you see nothing but pure lust in my eyes, then you’ll know for sure I’m telling you the truth.

I love you so much, Chels, Justin said as he pulled her into his arms.

I love you too, J.J., she whispered. And I’ll always want you.

God, he hoped so. He couldn’t take it if the only woman he had ever been in love with stopped wanting him as much as he wanted her.

Chapter Two

Justin still wasn’t crazy about having dinner with his family. Even without him saying so, it was obvious by the determined set of his jaw and hardness in his eyes. His white knuckle grip on the steering wheel was also a dead giveaway. Chelsea just hoped he could somehow manage to keep the beast of his anger on a leash, but she didn’t hold out much hope.

Maybe we should make a deal, Chelsea suggested.

Why do we need to make a deal?

"We don’t need to, but I think it might be a good idea judging from that murderous look in your eyes."

Justin smirked. There’s a murderous look in my eyes?

Most definitely and don’t get me wrong, it’s totally sexy with a capital S, Chelsea answered. It’s so sexy, I’m having a hard time keeping my hands off you right now, but I seriously doubt the rest of your family will share my feelings.

I sure as hell hope they don’t.

Yes, well, the thing is they’re probably going to be intimidated by that smoldering look I find so sexy.

You think so?

I know so.

I suppose you want me to make every effort to keep this allegedly murderous look out of my eyes?

Chelsea smiled. In exchange for you keeping that undoubtedly murderous look out of your eyes, which I know is going to be difficult, I’m willing to run interference when your mom starts talking about the big C.

Justin laughed. I was hoping for something a little naughtier than dealing with my mom.

I figured you were, but it would be kind of pointless to offer you something I’m willing to give you for free. Besides, this is a win-win situation for you.

It is?

Yep, you make your mom happy by having dinner with her and I keep her happy by deflecting all those pesky cancer questions.

Justin pulled his car alongside the curb in front of his parents’ house. When he turned off the engine, he twisted to face her. Leaning across the seat, he planted a soft kiss on her lips.

Chelsea had to restrain herself from crawling in his lap and hiking her dress up and riding him right there in the front seat of his car that was parked in front of his parents’ house in broad daylight. And he wasn’t easy to resist.

It’s a deal. Justin’s mischievous smile set off warning bells in her head. And if I don’t behave, you can spank me when we get home.

Chelsea shook her head as he unbuckled his seatbelt and emerged from the car. That wasn’t going to do any good. In the right mood, he loved rough sex. Getting spanked, preferably while blindfolded, ranked highest among his favorite things. As he came around to open the passenger door, she had the sneaking suspicion he planned to go out of his way to earn that spanking.

The shit eating grin he wore when he pulled her door open confirmed her suspicion. That definitely wouldn’t do.

Chelsea offered him a sweet smile as he closed the door behind her and set his car alarm. J.J.?

Yeah, babe?

If you don’t behave, I won’t spank you.

His smirk fell away and she could see him weighing his options.

If by some miracle, I manage to make it through this meal without biting my mother’s head off, you are not only going to spank me long and hard, but you’re going to jerk me off while you do.

Snaking her arms around his neck, she stood on her tiptoes and whispered in his ear, I will not only jerk you off while I spank you, I’ll do it with baby oil while you’re blindfolded.

Justin groaned as he cinched his arms around her waist. When he pulled her against him, she could feel the erection encased in his shorts. The urge to take him in her mouth was so overwhelming that her knees began to bend of their own volition. The only thing that kept her upright was the strength of his grip.

So, I guess this means we have a deal. You’re going to be my good boy?

God, yes, we have a deal. I’d do anything for you, especially when you ask me like that.

Chelsea smiled up at him. For a moment, she forgot how much she wanted him, remembering instead how much she loved him.

As soon as they stepped into his parents’ house, Justin knew he was going to let Chelsea down. Away from his parents, when it was just him and Chelsea in their own little world, it had been easy enough to promise to behave.

Now, as he stood in the house, he felt as if he was being suffocated. Something about the way his mother was smiling at them as she