Rogue Genie (Bundle 1)

By Dick Allan

Includes: Erectus Meets A Genie; A Wizard And A Bottle; Not Another Genie; Erectus and the Widow's Niece
An erotic sword & sorcery parody. 18+. Erectus, assigned by king Fincter to the remote village of Elohttub to build a bridge over a ravine, gets tired of the local entertainment and wanders into the desert at sunset. He finds an ancient bottle. When he breaks the seal and opens the bottle he releases a mischievous genie who takes him on a wild night of sexual escapades and misadventures.
When Erectus finds his way back to town the next day he discovers that he is under a curse that prevents him from getting sexually aroused. Erectus learns that his friends have found a bottle of their own and are taking it to a local wizard. Despite his misgivings about another genie he sees this as an opportunity to rid himself of his curse.
This story was written as a sequel to “Getting It Up In Titslegass: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus Volume 1”.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dick Allan
• Release date: Feb 16, 2015
• ISBN: 9781310066993

Dick Allan

Dick Allan is a pen name. I'm PG13; he's Adults Only. He's my alter ego. Whereas I'm a little shy and repressed, he most certainly is not. Whereas I tend to take things seriously, he does not. I have a bizarre sense of humour, and so does he. (Well we're both me so we're alike in many ways.). I grew up on fairy tales and sword and sorcery; he skewers the tropes of the genres and fills them with outlandish, explicit sexual situations. Welcome to his world. Enjoy.

Book preview

Rogue Genie

(Bundle 1)

by Dick Allan

Published by Dick Allan at Smashwords

22,800 words

Copyright 2015 by Dick Allan

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book is the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied or distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy at Smashwords.com, where they can also discover other works by this author. Thank you for your support.

This story was written as a sequel to Getting It Up In Titslegass: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus Volume 1.

1: Erectus Meets A Genie

2: A Wizard And A Bottle

3: Not Another Genie

4: Erectus and the Widow's Niece

Chapter 1: Erectus Meets A Genie

I

Erectus left his companions laughing and drinking in the local excuse for a tavern and walked into the desert toward the setting sun. He crested the first dune and sat on the sand. He was at the stage where he knew more wine would make him feel better now, but make him pay in the morning. Especially the sour excuse for wine they served here in Elohttub. It occurred to him that he might be better off drinking the weak local beer, but he dismissed the thought; it took too many mugs to forget about Titlegass, the Capital of Boobylon, which he hadn't seen for weeks.

That set him to wondering why King Fincter had sent him here, so far from all the action and excitement of the capital. It wasn't his knowledge or his ability to manage a crew of men. His thoughts turned to Clitoria, and the many times he'd had sex, and not had sex, with the gorgeous blonde princess. But that had ended when she married General Gennitol.

Except for that one last fling.

He should have known better. Actually, he did know better, but his willpower hadn't been strong enough to hold out against the willful, sexy, very demanding and manipulative princess.

A strong, steady wind blew plumes of sand from the tops of the dunes, like orange spume blowing from cresting waves on a sea of shadows. He sighed and stared out at the desert, looking at everything in general, but seeing nothing in particular, until a glint of golden light caught his attention. He moved his head back and forth until he pinpointed the spot, at the top of the next dune. It grew even brighter as he watched the wind blow the sand off a shiny object, slowly revealing more of it.

The alcohol made his curiosity strong, without regard for consequences. Erectus plunged down the steep side of the dune he was on, treading sand and riding the cascade all the way to the bottom, then kept climbing as fast as he could on the shifting sand until, panting heavily, he made it to the top of the next dune.

The shiny object was a piece of glass. When he brushed more sand away he saw that it was a bottle, with a square bottom and four flat sides angling out. One of them reflected the light of the setting sun. Only the purest chance had brought him, at this time, to the exact place where he would see that glint of light. The flat sides angled back to a round, tapering neck. When he picked it up to take a closer look it felt old, very old, and heavy with the weight of the ages. He knew somehow that nobody had touched it for decades, maybe even centuries.

The bottle was made of a pale greenish-blue glass, too thick to show clearly what was inside, but it appeared to be a quantity of red liquid. The bottle was sealed by a lead stopper wound tightly with fine copper wire, dark with age,. The copper wire was secured by a thick strip of hammered lead. Engraved in this strip were rows of symbols, letters he assumed, from some obscure alphabet.

Erectus reasoned that if the seal was still intact the liquor inside should still be good. His mouth watered in anticipation. He drew his knife and used the edge to lift a corner of the lead strip. Then he peeled it right off, exposing shiny copper. He couldn’t find the end of the wire so he used the point of his knife to make two new ends, then unwound yard after yard of wire, piling it up like discarded hair beside him.

When the wire was all off he worked the stopper back and forth a few times to loosen it, twisted it a bit, and it slid easily out of the bottle. He took a cautious sniff and got a noseful of a sweet, flowery fragrance, like a harlot’s perfume. Before he could deliberate on whether or not it was safe to drink, the liquid flowed up out of the bottle and expanded into a big blob that slid down the outside. Erectus dropped the bottle lest the mysterious fluid get on his fingers and stood back a few steps to watch.

The blob, now larger than the bottle, dropped to the sand, but it was not absorbed. It extended some pseudopodia which became limbs and a head, and in just a few second he was looking down at the miniature form of a woman, with skin as deep red as the liquid in the bottle had been. She stretched every which way and Erectus admired the perfection of her miniature physique, no part of which was covered by clothing. She saw him looking down on her and suddenly expanded to about two feet in height. Erectus backed up half a step, blinked a couple of times, then squinted down at her. She maintained her exquisite proportions, but her skin was a lot lighter.

Well get on with it, she said in a voice that was high-pitched, but not squeaky.

With what?

Your three wishes. She expanded to his height and her skin became a much lighter red, almost pink, though her hair stayed dark red. She spread her hands in a kind of shrug and cocked her head slightly at him. Don’t you get it? I’m a genie.

A genie? Erectus repeated uncertainly.

Yes, the genie Elppin at your service. She bowed so low her breasts brushed the sand and her nipples left tracks. Erectus wondered how she did it without falling over.

Three wishes, huh? His eyes were drawn to some sand stuck to her left nipple after she stood.

That’s right. What’s wrong with you, don’t you know the damn legends?

Uh, no, I’m from way back west, in the Roamin Empire.

Oh yes, not many genies out there. She shrugged her shoulders and was instantly wearing a pale green blouse and skirt of thin silk.

Reviews for Rogue Genie (Bundle 1)

[Edle Flusund Nustad · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Tried it, but it was not to my liking. Stopped halfway through when the genie put two di*** on a person, and split her head in two to satisfy him. Then it got just to weird.