Trickle Down Teaching: A Lighthearted Romp Through the Minefield of Your Rookie Year

By Kelley Callahan Chikos

Seven billion dollars a year hit the academic Dumpster due to new teachers dropping out. By their third year, nearly fifty percent have permanently heeded the dismissal bell of their profession. They leave, voluntarily or otherwise, because they are overwhelmed and confused, and don't know how to help themselves. Well-intentioned administrators provide unhelpful inservices, poorly organized mentoring programs and schmaltzy gimmicks, all to no avail. Trickle Down Teaching demystifies the major problem for beginning teachers; that is, their primary goal must be to quickly and methodically establish solid support for themselves by harnessing the powerful forces beyond their classrooms, but within the school. Once the new teacher is solidly supported, benefits trickle down naturally to students--the ultimate goal of every teacher.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kelley Callahan Chikos
• Release date: Feb 16, 2015
• ISBN: 9781311239082

Kelley Callahan Chikos

I was born as a very young child in post-WWII-era Detroit. It was a wonderful place to grow up! Four adults, three kids and a cat inhabited our 750-square foot house. One bathroom. Did we need more? No.I married my current husband, Frank, when we were 22. Young and foolish. Now we're old and foolish. It still works for us. We have two sons, who have given us two beautiful, genius-IQ grandchildren. Do we need more? No.But as the kids grew and Detroit hit the skids, we moved on to Hartville, Ohio, a little town just south of Cleveland, adding to our life: cows, Amish folks and, well, more cows.Then the job in Ohio hit the skids. So we moved on to Chicago area, where I went to work at Kraft Foods, in the complaint department of all places, listening to people complain about such life-altering issues as moldy cheese and sexy uses for LeCreme.Had to be something better, so I trekked back to school and became a teacher. Landed a job at a middle school in a poor suburban school district, for which I was exquisitely unprepared. I attempted to teach 140 prepubescent students who, with the exception of one, hated English and could detect the tantalizing scent of First Year Teacher from down the hall and around the corner. I had no textbooks, no supplies (except 17 boxes of brads!) and a principal who was bummed because he couldn't hire the teacher he really wanted. I knew right then--someday--I had to write a book to help fledgling teachers. Thus was born Trickle Down Teaching!I now live outside Chicago with dear Frank and two cats who sit on my head until I get out of bed in the morning.

Book preview

TRICKLE DOWN TEACHING

A Lighthearted Romp Through the Minefield of Your Rookie Year

Kelley Callahan Chikos

Copyright 2015 Kelley Callahan Chikos

Smashwords Edition

Formatting and cover design by Caligraphics

To Frank

who loves me more than football

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE

Your Mentor: Trickle me, Baby

CHAPTER TWO

School Secretaries: Maestro, please!

CHAPTER THREE

Maintenance: Getting the TP to Rock and Roll, or

Why the Custodian is Everybody’s Hero

CHAPTER FOUR

Administrators: Big Cheese, Top Dogs and Toads in the Puddle

CHAPTER FIVE

Staff Development: Try Not to Pull a Hamstring

CHAPTER SIX

Your Real Day Job: CYA, My Friend, CYA

CHAPTER SEVEN

Time Management: Draining the Swamp

CHAPTER EIGHT

Lesson Planning: Flying with Too Many Instruments

CHAPTER NINE

Classroom Management: Active Wear for Teachers

CHAPTER TEN

Colleagues: Storms, Rainbows and Pots of Gold

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Parents: I’m Coming Down to that Schoolhouse!

CHAPTER TWELVE

Kids: An Egg and a Sperm Walk Into a Bar . . . .

CONCLUSION

Let Me Tell You About My Kid

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Thanks to my husband Frank who, although a terrible editor (he thinks all my first drafts are perfect), is a steadfast supporter of my writing.

Thanks to my son Bob, who took it upon himself and did an outstanding job of critiquing and editing the entire book (although I think he secretly enjoyed critiquing his mother).

Thanks to Deb DiSandro, writer extraordinaire and instant pal at the Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop who, upon reading my first chapter, told me succinctly what I was doing wrong and sent my manuscript on the path to focus and completion.

Thanks to the educational professionals at District 46, who taught me so much and so well; it wasn’t always pretty!

Thanks to Lynn Waggener, who taught me my first, best lesson in how to cross the minefield.

INTRODUCTION

I remember my first day of teaching. As the middle-school kids trudged into the gym on the far side of the school, I sat in my very first classroom, my very first bulletin boards merrily proclaiming birthdays and class schedules, all my pencils sharpened, the week’s lessons neatly inked into my plan book. It was a soft September morning, the summer breeze whispered, the rising sun shone gaily on the Maalox bottles.

I told myself, This is what it’s all about. This is the stuff of life. No more working in the complaint department at the cheese factory. This is where I really make a difference.

I felt moved to write poetry, so I took out a small piece of paper and wrote of my emotions. I compared my anticipation within the cocoon of peace in my classroom to that of the new actor on stage awaiting his first rising curtain, the newly ordained priest as he is about to consecrate his first Host, the raccoon removal man as he climbs up into his first attic. I wrote, There is something almost holy about these few precious moments. They will never come again. I stand prepared and eager to, indeed, touch the future.

COWABUNGA. Did I really write that?

Don’t get me wrong; it’s not a bad thing to start out idealistic. Hopefully, you will carry a core of that idealism throughout your teaching career. Teachers do have a tremendous impact on the future and believing that will sustain you. Your impact, however, will come about in unexpected ways, and the ways will involve some work. Actually, a lot of work.

One of the biggest shocks for new teachers is the sudden, soul-churning realization that the heart of teaching—that is, planning lessons and being with their students—is actually a small part of the job. It shouldn't be that way, but it is.

Well, you ask, what are all the other parts that will require so much of my time and are so important I will be asked to deal with them rather than pay attention to my students? I'm here for them, not for a bunch of grunt work.

Keep in mind that any job requires a certain amount of grunt work duties; a chef needs to order supplies, adhere to sanitation measures and deal with kitchen personnel. A doctor needs to interface with myriad insurance companies, a police officer with reports. Teaching is no different in that regard.

There are a lot of data-gathering, people-pleasing, time-juggling, fatigue-battling skills needed to be a successful teacher. Don't reinvent the wheel or anything else your first year. Get out there. Listen to the voices of experience all around you. Especially mine.

This brings us to the focus of this book. It is unlike any book on teaching that is on the market, in that it addresses the job beyond the classroom, which is almost universally ignored by teacher-training programs and the recent literature on teaching. Yet, new teachers are often blindsided by the volume and force of this area of their jobs. Is it any wonder about one-third of all new teachers leave the profession (voluntarily or not) after their first year, and almost another third by the end of their second year?

We’ll begin by addressing several assumptions typically held by new teachers.

What follows is a compare/contrast chart (teachers love these, don't we?) about the Happy Illusions of newbies versus what I like to call the Bleak Chasm of Reality. (NOTE: You are not to worry about any of these things. Believing the following ten points simply indicates that you are thinking in an intelligent, logical and caring manner. Once that is knocked out of you, you will be much better prepared to succeed. And succeed you will.)

HAPPY ILLUSION

1. Teaching involves largely contact between teacher and students.

BLEAK CHASM OF REALITY

The classroom time with your students will be wedged into the school day among all competing elements.

'Competing elements' include, but are not limited to: fire drills, severe weather drills, earthquake drills, assemblies, standardized testing days, block scheduling so the math teacher can show the kids how to find sums using a really cool online game, time out to go into the hall and cheer on the basketball team that is 'going downstate', taking the kids to the PTO book fair, impromptu lockdowns while narc dogs are brought in to sniff lockers, checks for head lice. . you get the idea.

HAPPY ILLUSION

2. Students will behave and do their homework if you demonstrate your dedication to them.

BLEAK CHASM OF REALITY

Students will behave once you show them you are willing to throw them out into the snow if they interrupt you one more time.

HAPPY ILLUSION

3. Technology is your friend.

BLEAK CHASM OF REALITY

Technology will be your friend when: (1) a comfortable bra or necktie is invented or (2) the sun rises in the west. The end.

HAPPY ILLUSION

4. Administrators are your friends.

BLEAK CHASM OF REALITY

Oh, we have so many hours to share, Young One.

It’s not realistic to expect administrators to be our friends. Or for them to even be understanding of our jobs, since many of them went into administration because they either could not handle or did not enjoy the classroom. They are our bosses, however, so unless you witness otherwise, accept that they are competent leaders, deserving of your respect.

If you feel you must approach the principal with a problem (unless time is of the essence, like a 'heads up' for an irate parent phone call) run the issue past your mentor first. Getting an administrator involved in most situations will almost always complicate matters unnecessarily. The reasons for this are: a) they have learned out of necessity to cover themselves on all levels (including legally) b) they have friends on the staff who expect them to meet their interests whenever possible c) they need to at least look like they're in charge and trying to make the best decision for the whole school d) they might not really be sure how to handle it so you may end up with a series of trial solutions, or e) (God save us) they direct you to form a committee to dissect, discuss, evaluate and determine 27 possible scenarios to solve this problem and type up a seven-pound report for him. It’s just a whole lot more effective to find a way to deal with it yourself, via trusted faculty and staff. In the long run, the principal will love you for it.

I don’t think administrators really want to get involved in most faculty issues. They are busy people and they do appreciate a faculty who can take care of themselves and each other. Certainly take matters to the principal when your mentor advises it, and keep him promptly informed on matters he needs to be aware of, such as safety, health and other pertinent issues. But otherwise, leave the guy alone so he can get the diversity report in to the state and maybe grab half a sandwich before dismissal hits.

HAPPY ILLUSION

5. Volunteering for extracurricular activities will help secure your job and endear you to the students and their parents.

BLEAK CHASM OF REALITY

Volunteering will endear you to the poor schlep who got stuck with putting on the school 'talent' show.

Volunteering to help a colleague with an extracurricular activity such as putting on the school play or assisting with Science Olympiad is an excellent idea, as it will give you specific experience, allow you to get to know your colleagues and students in a different light and earn you the undying affection from said schlepping teacher. I'd recommend limiting your volunteering to one or two activities your first year, as your main focus will be on learning your job within and without the classroom.

Regarding parents, stage performances provide yet another opportunity for criticizing the school in general and you in particular. As in: Why didn’t little Bunion get the lead in the play? The lighting was so dim, I couldn’t see Polyp’s halo. The play didn’t start on time. You wouldn’t let me get onstage during the performance to get a really good video of Herpy dancing his jig. And the perennial favorite: you played the piano so loud, you drowned out Tonsil’s solo.

Just keep smiling, knowing, professionally, you have learned something, supported your colleague and had an opportunity to see your students in a different environment and with their parents, which, in itself, can be rife with insight. And, despite the couple of whiners, it's a great opportunity to develop positive relationships all around.

HAPPY ILLUSION

6. Humans must use the restroom occasionally.

BLEAK CHASM OF REALITY

Correct. However, human adults who are teachers have two options: catheter or Depends.

One year I needed to confer with a teacher about a mutual student. We were both so busy, we found it impossible to find a time to meet and discuss. Finally, I jokingly asked her, Well, when do you go to the restroom? Maybe we can pass notes under the stalls.

She laughed and said, I don’t.

So if you have a choice of classrooms (but you probably won't), get as close to the restroom as possible and determine early in the school year when your schedule allows you an extra minute or two to care for yourself. And if you ever find yourself with a bathroom emergency during class, always ask a nearby teacher to watch your classroom for a few minutes. Never leave the students unsupervised.

HAPPY ILLUSION

7. Inservices will make you a better teacher.

BLEAK CHASM OF REALITY

Correct, if you can sleep with your eyes open or take notes for the book you are going to write someday. ;-)

Over the years, I have attended a few valuable inservices. Most of the best ones were presented by colleagues who got 'recruited' by the principal. Through them, I learned such things as how to organize myself effectively and how to appreciate the specific difficulties under which students with various handicaps attempt to learn.

A social worker presented a lecture on family dynamics and how these interactions can cause kids to take on roles (caregiver, clown, dropout) within the family unit. Eye-opening.

The threads that these powerhouse presentations had in common are not that they were "rock star’ lectures. It was that the presenters: a) knew their jobs thoroughly b) spoke on a subject clearly relevant to teaching children, and c) had a passion for their work.

Bottom line: many inservices are boring and irrelevant (just like long meetings in other industries). Some insufferably so. Sometimes all you can do at those times is tell yourself you’re getting paid to sit there. But always expect to learn something and enjoy those times when a presenter hits you right between the eyes with new, relevant, interesting, useful and exciting information. They’ll restore your faith and you’ll leave with a bit of excitement prickling your heart.

HAPPY ILLUSION

8. Parents will respect, support and appreciate your efforts to help their children.

BLEAK CHASM OF REALITY

Correct, except for that Harping Handful who makes you wish you had married that pre-med student so you would now be Special Event Planner at the country club instead of trying to hammer knowledge into 127 kids a day.

The vast majority of parents are respectful and supportive of teachers’ efforts to teach their offspring some valuable lessons. For the rest, just do your best to go with the flow, choose your battles and roll with the punches. Try really hard not to get your knickers in a knot: keep small issues small, give the people what they want (within reason), and defer to the principal’s decision if necessary.

Be respectful and professional, but do not sacrifice your values, agree to something untrue or contrary to your best interests, or accept responsibility for anything you are not responsible for.

HAPPY ILLUSION

9.