A Fading Amaranth

By Shauna Aura Knight

Nathaniel’s been a vampire long enough to grow weary of glamoured seduction, and he’s lost his poetic muse. He meets reclusive artist Alexandra—her telepathy has overwhelmed her for years, and she can bear no one’s touch. However, she can’t hear Nathaniel’s thoughts, and she’s immune to his vampire glamour. During scorching nights together, they rediscover their passion for life.

When a Faerie creature stalks Alexandra, the lovers find themselves snared in a paranormal battle alongside Chicago’s mage guardians. Worse, Nathan’s rising bloodlust places Alexandra in danger. Will she master her abilities before going insane? What will they risk to be together?
 

"Nathaniel wanted her so badly he burned, but it wasn’t just his teeth, his blood. He wanted her in a way he hadn’t desired a woman in years. He ached to kiss her. Could he do it without biting her?

With the blood hunger riding him, could he stop himself from trying?"

• Language: English
• Publisher: Shauna Aura Knight
• Release date: Apr 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9781513056081

Book preview

A Fading Amaranth

by Shauna Aura Knight

Acknowledgements

Thanks to all my test readers, Jolene, Cara, Mike, and Cidney, and to my copy editor Lydia Sanders at http://www.ceforcreativewriters.com. Your assistance made this a better book!

Thanks also to everyone who commented on my Facebook thread when I asked for advice on what books Nathaniel would be reading. Nathaniel’s reading habits are a bit different than mine, and all the responses were very helpful.

When I began writing the story I researched a number of poems using the amaranth as a poetic device. The copyright issues became too complicated to quote many of these in the novel, but I’ve compiled a poetic inspirations page on my website, just find the A Fading Amaranth page or send me an email if you’re interested.

‘I am half sick of shadows,’ said

The Lady of Shalott.

—Alfred, Lord Tennyson, The Lady of Shalott

Chapter One

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Nathaniel leaned back against the brick of the alley wall, keeping his place in the shadows as another cluster of people walked past him.  He didn’t have a coat on over his nice black suit, but certainly he wasn’t chilled.

He hadn’t felt cold in well over a hundred years.

As the crowd began to thin, his teeth ached abominably. Over a hundred years of this, he thought. A hundred years of waiting for someone to separate themselves from the throng so he could feed on their blood. A hundred years of trying like hell to be careful, to only take enough to survive, to try and not hurt any of them. There had been a couple of accidents in his long life, and he worked to keep that from happening again.

Tonight the hunger rode him hard; he’d waited too long to feed, and he mentally kicked himself for it. It was possible for him to go four days without feeding—five, if he had to. Ten days would turn him into a blood-hungry animal without thought or conscience. The past nights he had been reading a series of books, and he’d put off going out as long as he could. In fact, Nathaniel would have put off feeding for a few hours longer if he could have taken it. He was almost finished with the last book in a series, and he’d finally had to put the novel down to go hunting. Once he’d dealt with his starvation, he was eager to finish reading the book.

For the past decades, reading had kept him from losing his mind.

His hunt had taken hours longer than he had intended. Walking the dark of the streets, he had planned to prey on a criminal. In recent years he had found that it bothered him less to risk hurting people who habitually hurt others. It was more difficult to ensnare them in his hypnosis, but it still worked.

Months ago he had taken refuge in Chicago to escape his former vampire clan. Since then, Nathaniel had tried to avoid seducing women for their blood. Given that his glamour worked best on people who were attracted to him, this was sometimes a challenge. He found it easiest to hunt in a bar or a club...to find a solitary woman...to take her into the shadows, bite her, and then let her return to her evening.

His bite gave pleasure in those circumstances. Every person he bit who was attracted to him would experience the bliss of an orgasm, and he fed on both the blood and the pleasure. And, though the women he’d bitten during his long life had always enjoyed it, he couldn’t seem take any pleasure in it these days. The seduction felt so empty.

Nathaniel wondered if he was getting too old, too jaded, to keep it up much longer.

After hours of hunting, he’d given up. His hunger had hollowed him out and nearly tipped him over the edge to where he was dangerous. If he didn’t find someone to drink from soon, he risked the early stages of the blood madness. If that happened, he might not be able to stop at a pint, he might drain them entirely. Long ago, he’d hurt a woman with his youthful carelessness, and he never wanted to repeat that. 

The crowd leaving the Lyric Opera had dissipated, and more people were walking alone. Not long now. Nathan had to admit he was heartened to see how many people were attending the Saturday night performance of Wagner’s Ring Cycle, given that it was the third night of a four-night performance. In an era when so few seemed to care about music and culture, he was glad that enough people still enjoyed opera for a multi-night show to be this well attended. If he’d been in a better mood, he wouldn’t have minded attending it himself. Old habits died hard, and classical music transported him back to his younger days.

Nathaniel had discovered the hard way that being immortal didn’t necessarily make him adaptable. What had been wearing on him more and more these past months was something his Maker had told him, and he’d finally been forced to admit it about himself. The longer a vampire lived, the less ability they tended to have to cope with changes in society. He had seen plenty of examples of vampires who had gone mad, but he’d always considered himself immune to it. After living for a century, some lost the ability to cope. Some could last two, three hundred years, like his Maker had. He’d heard of some lasting longer. Others went mad before their first centennial. Nathaniel wondered more and more if he was just on borrowed time.

Certainly he was less on edge when he kept to his old habits. Maybe attending the opera wouldn’t be such a bad idea. It had been a long time since he’d gone to a performance. Tonight, however, hanging out near the Lyric Opera made for a good place to draw a woman with his gaze without being noticed.

Finally he heard solitary footsteps and stepped in front of a woman dressed in a tasteful black evening dress. With a practiced, smooth move, he pulled her into the shadows of the alley...only to stare at her, stunned to silence, looking into soft hazel eyes.

She was beautiful. Not that he hadn’t had beautiful women over the past century, but he was actually astonished for a moment.

What do you want? she asked, looking as surprised as he.

Nathaniel blinked; his glamour should have dazed her. Leaning closer, he gazed into her eyes, pressuring her mind in the way his own Maker had taught him to over a hundred years past. Even if she wasn’t attracted to him, his gaze should have brought her under.

For all he’d struggled against seducing anyone, she smelled divine. His fangs pulsed in his mouth. He needed to taste her.

Alexandra was startled by the man suddenly in front of her. She’d been in a complete reverie, consumed by the music from the opera. Music had always brought her peace when she had too many thoughts in her head, and going to any music performance never failed to inspire her to paint. She really shouldn’t have taken the time to attend all the nights of the performance, but the Ring Cycle was one of her favorites, and she’d been creatively stuck on a few paintings. With all the artistic deadlines she had coming up, she couldn’t afford to flounder without enough motivation. Past experience had taught her that the intensity of the music and a powerful story could sometimes jar her out of her spiral of anxiety, and tonight she’d felt some of the magic of the music at last.

She’d been thinking about that aria...and then suddenly a tall man stood before her.

Sculpted cheekbones, sensual lips, dark brown hair, strangely pale eyes, nice suit. The green of his eyes pierced her, and her heart began to beat more quickly. Sexy, she thought. Alexandra’s attraction surprised her. In the long years since her marriage, she hadn’t been with anyone; hadn’t wanted to. She had her artwork, and men were just too much of a risk. Any close relationship was too hazardous with her weird psychic abilities, and she’d been alone for a decade.

This one...he oozed sex appeal. His suit was perfectly tailored to his frame, giving her just a hint of his lean muscles. His elegant fingers stroked her palm with his thumb, and she began to feel things from him.

Not that this surprised her.

She closed her eyes for a moment. Her psychic abilities were the reason she’d divorced her husband. When he had touched her, she could hear his thoughts. She’d been finishing her master’s degree when she started dating him, and they’d married quickly, though she divorced him within a year. She had started hearing more and more of her husband’s thoughts, including the deeper thoughts that nobody wanted to admit to.

Eventually, she couldn’t cope with his inner monologue.

Opening her eyes, she felt the strange man pressing at her mind. Astonished, she discovered she couldn’t summon the will to move, and she felt dazed. Though, Alexandra could also sense the man’s frustration and confusion that she wasn’t doing what he expected.

Alexandra shivered. She realized that she was still carrying her jacket, but it wasn’t the chill of the late spring air that caused it.

His emotions drifted across into her mind, but not his thoughts. That surprised her. From him she felt vague sensations—feelings, not the clear, endless running of words that she usually heard from someone’s mind. She could sense that he was on edge...hungry...starving.

Nathaniel had never had to work this hard to pull someone under. By now she should be moaning in his arms, her pulse racing, pulling him to her neck. Her scent intoxicated him, and he drew her wrist to his lips to inhale more deeply. The desire should be driving her mad. She should be drenched with lust. For the first time in years, in decades, he wanted a woman to want him.

And he was losing control fast.

His fangs were dropped in his mouth, and he saw red at the edges of his vision. She wasn’t a vampire, a shifter, or any other Fae or chthonic creature. How could she be resisting? He’d never wanted anyone’s blood, anyone’s desire, like he wanted hers in that moment. Finally he drew her to him, burying his head in her neck to scent her there. She didn’t move away, but when he pulled back, she looked at him with a clear, unwavering gaze.

Snarling, he bared his teeth. The starving, animal part of him reared its head, enraged that the seduction wasn’t working as it should. He had to have her. The hunger hollowed him out from the inside, and his lust for her only made it worse. She should have melted in his arms. When the hunger rode him like this, they always went under faster.

He could scent her arousal; she wasn’t uninterested. Why wasn’t it working?

She just kept looking at him, and he threaded his fingers through her pale blond hair, the pins that had coiled the twist high on her head falling to the ground. He buried his face in her throat again, licking hotly at her neck...which kept the same pulse. She wasn’t under. He couldn’t bite her. It would hurt without her being enraptured by his gaze.

Finally he pushed her away, panting as he backed off. His body was taut with tension, his throat desiccated, his blood burning. His skin was going to go to parchment if he didn’t feed soon.

How the hell are you doing that? he rasped.

She blinked at him. I don’t know, she said, her voice sounding strained. She shook her head and then glared at him with a defiant look. What were you trying to do to me? she asked. What are you? You’re different. You’re...you’re so hungry.

Again he snarled that animal sound, his face hidden. Damn you. I don’t need to control you to drain you.

Drain me? Oh! Blood. That makes more sense. He turned to stare at her again, and she went still. He realized his gaze had some effect on her, just not enough. But even the limited hypnosis seemed to be fading fast. He could see it in her eyes.

You know what I am?

You have to be a vampire. Are you going to bite me?

Trembling, he raked his hands through his hair, unable to even wrap his mind around how she seemed to know what he was and not be shocked by it. No, he finally answered. I don’t want to harm you. My bite could hurt if you’re not under my glamour. God, I’m parched. If he didn’t feed very soon, he’d go insane. Her scent made it worse, and yet somehow anchored him to his moral compass. He couldn’t explain it. He knew he wanted to taste her, drink her. But he wanted more than that.

He wanted this beautiful woman who smelled like honey and roses and a thousand flavors in the back of his throat. To have her immune to his hypnosis, to have her not overcome with lust while he bit her, was torture. Worse, to have her memory of this encounter intact put him in significant danger. Him and any other vampires.

He’d never met a single human in all his life who could resist him like this.

Nathaniel had to leave her. He had to feed. But he couldn’t tear himself away.

Alexandra began to understand the thoughts that had been pressing against her mind. Ravenous hunger...the sensation of his veins desiccated and dry. The threat of madness. The craving for blood; the ache in his teeth.

He really was a vampire.

Of course the first man she’d been attracted to in a decade was a vampire. With all the other weirdness in her life, somehow this made sense. She’d lived as a recluse for years, hiding away so that she wouldn’t go mad in the same way her twin brother had from their developing psychic abilities. She’d left her husband, and never again since then had she been able to be around anyone for long before their thoughts overwhelmed her.

Somehow it seemed reasonable to her that there were other strange things out there, other things that seemed fantastical. When she had started hearing her husband’s thoughts, and then the thoughts of others, she had thought she’d gone insane. And when her brother had ended up in a mental hospital after a breakdown, she had discovered that he had the same ability. Even though she had avoided most people since she started hearing their thoughts, Alexandra had often wondered why she’d never run into anyone else with weird powers.

After so many years, relief flooded through her body to suddenly come face to face with something even stranger than herself.

She hadn’t ever considered that there might be vampires, but there he stood before her, fangs visible in his mouth. Alexandra looked into those stunning green eyes of his and she could feel him under her own skin. Unlike having someone’s thoughts pouring into her, this softer sensation was just a ghost of an impression, almost erotic in nature.

You’re in pain, she murmured. More than just the starvation, she sensed an aching loneliness deep within, a vast chasm of hollowness. Of all things, she knew loneliness. Are...can I help you? She didn’t want him to leave. She sensed how dangerous he could be right now, but she knew in her core that he wouldn’t hurt her. That he had no intent to harm, even though he was starving and infuriated.

He was holding on with his bare fingernails, and she knew he needed blood desperately. She sensed that he needed to leave. But she couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing this man again.

I must go now, he rasped. He had to, or he risked biting her whether or not she was glamoured. Yet he couldn’t stand the thought of leaving her there, of not tasting her. There was something about her, something that made him want...he didn’t even know what he wanted. Given his life, it probably wasn’t something he could have. I have to find...I have to feed. His hands shook. That was a bad sign.

All you had to do was ask.

He looked up at her in surprise. What?

She took a step closer to him, and he caught her wrist, unable to resist scenting her again. She wasn’t overcome with lust in the way she would be under his hypnosis, but she did want him. When they touched, he could feel her attraction to him growing. Fascinating, he thought, that he could sense her feelings like that, even though he couldn’t bring her under.

He wanted her so badly he burned, but it wasn’t just his teeth, his blood. He wanted her in a way he hadn’t desired a woman in years. He ached to kiss her. Could he do it without biting her?

With the blood hunger riding him, could he stop himself from trying?

I’m sorry, he whispered.

She caught at his wrist, and he looked at her in surprise. Don’t go.

I must. I have to go. Quickly.

Am I right that you only take a small amount of blood? Is what I sensed correct?

Yes, he hissed as she stepped closer.

Just ask. She reached up to caress his cheek, and he barely suppressed a flinch.

I cannot, my lady. You are not susceptible to....It will hurt. I cannot allow that, he said, though he still found his head dipping down to her. He had no idea how he was even coherent; his vision hazed with red, throbbing to the beat of the pulse in her neck.

Oh.

He couldn’t resist nuzzling his cheek against hers, brushing his lips across her neck. Ah, the taste of her. He pulled back, shaking, and she reached up to pull him closer. He shut his eyes and gave in, kissing her, trying to keep his fangs from cutting her lip. She slid right up against the line of his body. He growled, opening her mouth to his, hauling her against him, wanting her, wanting inside her, cupping the curve of her ass to grind her against his erection until she mewled in pleasure. She tasted like heaven, her lips were hot silk against his.

Moaning, she kissed him back, pulling herself against him until he wrenched himself back. I must go, he snarled. Her desire nearly shattered his control completely.

Come find me later.

Later? Panting, he somehow held back from that edge of madness.

After you’ve...fed. You owe me an apology for snarling at me. She gave him a half smile.

How did she seem to calm the beast in his blood? Indeed.

Meet me at the W Hotel bar in the south loop. I’ll wait there for you.

Why?