Road to Shirdi: A Journey of Mysterious Encounters & Awakening

By Kaushalya Kuwadekar

All roads lead to one destination - our self. This title captures the author's extraordinary quest for inner peace and her experiences of betrayal, hurt, healing and love, eventually sharing with us that the greatest healer in all relationships, including that with ourselves, is forgiveness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wisdom Tree Publishers
• Release date: Apr 23, 2015
• ISBN: 9788183284103

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© Kaushalya Kuwadekar, 2010

First published 2010

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise—without the prior permission of the author and the publisher.

ISBN 978-81-8328-410-3

Published by

Wisdom Tree,

4779/23, Ansari Road,

Darya Ganj, New Delhi-2

Ph.: 23247966/67/68

[e-mail]

Printed in India

I dedicate this book to

Shri Sai Baba of Shirdi

and Archangel Michael.

Contents

Acknowledgements

Preface

Prologue

1. God and Me

2. The Bookshop

3. My Childhood Years

4. My Father

5. My Grandmother

6. The Ghost of Sholapur Bazaar

7. My Mother

8. The Love of My Life

9. The Paths to Healing

10. The Healing Continues

11. Kriya Yoga

12. Angels, Guides and Aliens

13. The Spiritual Masters and the Children of Today

14. Sai Baba and the Road to Shirdi

15. The Love of God

Acknowledgements

Iam eternally grateful to several people who have influenced the creation of this work.

Naren, my life partner for his infinite love, support and companionship; Komal, my ‘star child’ for encouraging me and helping with the final draft; Kiran, my sister for her support and ‘push’; Kokila, a true friend who read through the manuscript and prayed for this book to manifest; and finally, my father-in-law Baba for being the father in my life.

Preface

In the deep sleep of the night, a voice commanded me, ‘Arise, you have work to do!’

I could not open my eyes because of my fear of the dark. I lay there shivering, more awake than asleep now, tossing and turning for what seemed like forever. I stayed like that in bed until, at last, the first light of dawn removed the fear and helped me get up.

This continued for a few more days, so in order to understand what the voice was asking me to do, and where it came from, I decided to chant the name of the Lord in the form of a mantra. As my fear slowly transformed into love, my understanding began to awaken to a level that transcended my earthly wisdom. Experiences of the spirit started to become a daily occurrence and little miracles appeared as gifts which helped to open my heart, gently reassuring me at every step that indeed, He was holding my hand through all the challenges I faced—like everyone else—during my life.

Thus began my journey on the spiritual path. Over time I was led to join various spiritual organisations, practise different religions and perform diverse disciplines. Soon I was travelling far and wide to numerous places of pilgrimage on a quest to find the answers to the mystical events that the spirit was flooding my life with.

For some time, I would be peaceful with an organisation or a practice that I had discovered, but then restlessness would overtake me. Having searched far and wide, at last I turned within to seek the truth, and in the quiet of the night I realised that I had nowhere else to look. Within, there were answers to all my questions.

All of us are on this path, on this journey to seek the truth and to find our relationship with God and with ourselves. Recently, as I travelled to Shirdi to pay my respects to Sai Baba, I realised that all religions and practises of the spirit lead you to one God. Each one of us is at a different level of spiritual development and therefore religions and organisations provide for various needs of spiritual knowledge. No one organisation can provide all the spiritual needs at every level. They are here to be used as pathways to reach the final destination. When the lessons and knowledge are learnt and when one feels disconnected with the present teachings, then he will feel the need to find a different philosophy to fill the void left by the last one.

Ultimately, the way to God transcends all religions, castes and creeds.

This is the message that Sai Baba, and many other masters have given us through their teachings; that there is only one truth—love is God. Everything is conceived in love and therefore we all are love. Simply that.

Soon after my return home from Shirdi, the voice of God spoke to me once more and said, ‘It is time now. You must write.’

What follows is my life’s spiritual journey, which brought me to the Road to Shirdi. Why I have been asked to write this book I am still not sure, but I do it in the hope that it will lighten many hearts and encourage everyone who is on the spiritual path.

Prologue

I pray

Alittle girl sat on her bed at night when all was quiet. She sat on her knees, with her hands folded in prayer, eyes closed. Her face was wet with tears that rolled down her cheeks, unashamedly and unceasingly.

‘Why me, God? I am deeply hurt. Why do they hate me so much? Why do they beat me? What did I do?’

And then she whispered, ‘Forgive me God, please forgive me.’ She asked many questions from God. She cried endlessly. But there were no answers. Her heart was bursting with pain. Her throat was choked with emotion. She felt guilty, she felt like a cheat, and she felt hurt. But what had she done? She shared all her anguish with God. Finally, when no more tears fell, she became quiet. A feeling of peace enveloped her, as two loving arms embraced her. Her heart was consoled. Then she fell asleep. No one had taught her to pray. It was merely out of desperation that prayer arose from within her heart. It brought her such relief. Prayer became her life. Her life became a prayer. The angel, who had embraced her, never left her side.

1

God and Me

That was me. And this is my story. Human relationships in their very nature are complex and often riddled with contradictions, and this is something I came to understand and appreciate much later on in life. Some of the actual events described in the book may seem at times unbelievable to readers, but my journey led to a variety of spiritual and strange supernatural experiences, and finally, to a better, deeper understanding of myself.

Thirty years ago, at the insistence of my young sister-in-law, Jayshree, I visited the Novena Church at Mahim, a central area of Mumbai. She had promised to do the nine novena prayers, which means making nine consecutive visits to this church, in order to fulfil a wish. This church is very famous for its Novena of Perpetual Help, a novena addressed to Our Lady of Perpetual Succour, and attracts both Catholics and non-Catholics to the prayers held every Wednesday.

I had never heard of the church until she mentioned it and out of curiosity, I agreed to accompany her, bringing my two-year-old son Kunal with me. From Worli we boarded the bus and it took us directly to a stop opposite the Novena Church. We crossed the road and entered the church. Inside, it was dark and serene. As I walked between the pews, I noticed a statue of Mother Mary with Infant Jesus in her arms, enshrined in a glass dome. The statue must have been about eighteen inches in height. Holding on to Kunal’s hand, we walked past the statue. Whenever I see an image of Mother Mary and Jesus in her arms I am reminded of our family deity Devki-Krishna, and I know that they are one and the same because I feel the same love and blessings pouring through them. Suddenly, I felt something strange. I turned back and stood facing the statue. The Mother and Son were smiling at us. They were really smiling! I did not believe what I was seeing, so I walked to the right of the figure and stared at it. As I did, the whole figure turned towards me. I walked slowly to the left of the statue. Again, the statue turned towards me. And the Mother and Son were still smiling.

Although I visited Novena Church thirty years ago, it is only recently that I discovered that its name is St Michael’s Church—St Michael was one of my guardian angels. It was then that I realised God in His many manifestations has always been with me, and that it really is Him talking to me.

How it all began

In May 2006, we went to Pune. It was a much needed break for me as I was feeling tired. After a long rest, in the evening I went up to the terrace and started chanting and praying as I walked. It was a lovely day and I felt wonderful. The energy around me was peaceful and calming and I felt rejuvenated. At midnight, I started writing my thoughts in my diary and that is when God had the first conversation with me.

As God continued conversing with me, I began to hear His voice at any time. If I had a question, it would promptly be answered. Then came a time when there seemed to be no questions, because the answers were given before I had time to ask them. But one question kept on repeating in my mind, ‘Could it truly be God talking to me?’ I really wanted to know if it was…

Looking for proof

In July 2006, we left Mumbai to go on an Alaskan Cruise. At the time, my mother was ill, and I was a little worried about her passing on while I was away, so I asked God if she would be alive when I returned. He said she would be, but that she would go soon after my return. He also told me not to worry and to enjoy myself.

On the third day of the cruise, the ship stopped at a place called Sitka. It was announced that there was a small cathedral in the town and anyone who wanted to visit was welcome to join the group that was planning to go. As we went ashore on the boat, I felt excited, but did not know why. We walked towards the town centre, where the cathedral was located. It appeared to be too tiny and quaint a place to be called a cathedral. Then, as we walked in we saw the name; St Michael’s Cathedral.

It seemed too much of a coincidence. Inside, it was beautiful, and the statues of St Michael, Mother Mary and Infant Jesus were intensely powerful. The tiny cathedral was full of peace, serenity and divinity. I was overwhelmed with emotion and was moved to tears. There was an elderly gentleman, who seemed to be working in the cathedral. We got around to speaking with him and during our conversation he said to me, looking directly into my eyes, ‘St Michael is with you. He is guiding you.’

Here was the proof that I was looking for—God was in my life. It seemed remarkable that I had to come all the way to Alaska to find the truth. The ways of the Creator are strange, yet you always get exactly what you have asked for.

God continued ‘speaking’ with me and as usual, I kept asking Him for more proof. In May 2007, we went to Spain on a holiday. While there, we drove to Gibraltar and went all the way up the Rock. When we stopped, we discovered that we were at St Michael’s cave. We had no idea that this place existed. We asked the gentleman sitting at the counter of the entrance to the cave why it was called St Michael’s cave. He told us about the legend, which says that St Michael appeared here in the form of light. I felt my proof was here.

Somehow, the angels have a habit of taking me on long journeys to prove their existence. Perhaps that is because the only time I am not occupied with everyday life is when I am travelling.

While in London, during the same holiday, I visited my favourite bookshop, Watkins. A tarot card reader was sitting there and I had an intense desire to have my cards read. Strangely, although she was booked for the day, within five minutes, I was sitting in front of her.

‘I don’t have anything to ask and I don’t know why I want this reading,’ I told her.

‘You don’t have to say anything, we will let the cards do the talking,’ she answered.

She asked me to pick a card and the one I pulled out had gold streaks of light painted across it. ‘What do you think of this card?’ she asked me. And I said, ‘Well, I see a lot of light’. She answered, ‘Yes, it is light. It is an angel who is guiding you, and it would be St Michael’. I was dumbfounded. Here was another proof of God’s presence in my life. He is with me and the messages in this book truly are from Him.

As my conversations with angels continued, so was I privileged to hear the voices of Babaji and Sai Baba and at times, what I call, the Voice, which I could only attribute to our Father, the Almighty.

The voice of God

Dear God, when you created us, what were you thinking?

I thought of extending myself because I am so vast. There is no end to me. I wanted something, someone, who would be born in my image, to think like me, to know like me, to experience like me, who would be mine and I could share the vastness that I am.

I wanted a child who would know of my legacy and be a part of it, and live it. I am so joyous. When I gave you birth, I wanted you to know the boundless joy! I wanted to share my joys with the one who knows, and who could that be? Only you, my child! And for that, I had to design you.

Why? What was the need? Was it necessary?

How else could I show you my boundless gifts? Through my creation, my child! I conceived you in my dreams before I created the universe, because I wanted expansion for you, and in that I wanted to share my dreams with you. And for that purpose, I had to design the universe. I passed on the knowledge to the universes to design themselves so that my growth and love would be experienced by all.

I see you everywhere I look, this world is so beautiful!

Every creature, every little detail I created so that you would find comfort. In every little detail am I, my child, if you would only look, you would find me. I am in all—all that you call animate and inanimate. All holds my wisdom of the universes. All know me, but only you, my child, have the ability to merge into me.

In you I dwell as the light within, the light that brings joy and takes away the darkness.

It has been a long process to come to that realisation. Others must feel this way, too.

It has been a long journey for you my child, but the end is near. You will all be soon united with me. My child, I wanted you to go through it all because I want you to know that I am all that is. You and I are One.

You are mine, for I created you. I looked upon you in love and wished you well on your journey of journeys. You have marched well through deep valleys and high gorges of immense girth, I know. You have trod on the waters and swam with the fish, wild and gentle. You have taken many a bite and been bitten but you march on in your labour of love for me, always seeking me.

When you fall, I am standing beside you to hold you up. Many a time have you called and I have always held you.

My Father in heaven, I truly love you and long to return to you, to be with you. How can we humans find you and be with you?

In the darkness of the night, sit and pray or meditate and I shall show you all the wonders within you. I am in the quietness of the night, I am the song in your heart, the beautiful words on your lips and the joy that overcomes you when you think of me, and when you love all your dear ones.

Be true to yourself. Be that love. I am that love.

When you forgive, I am in that forgiveness. When you laugh, I am that laughter.

In your kindness am I, in your laughter am I, in your joy am I.

When you share your joy, you share me, when you give love, you give me.

I am to be shared by all, for I am in all.

I am that One, whom you long for, I am your Beloved. I am yours!

In the solitude of your heart, call upon me, await me, and in the colours of the night, peace and contentment will be yours, for now and ever. Be true to yourself and you are being true to me.

Deeply embedded am I within you, and when you truly and fully want to be with me, you shall find me as the light within yourself. Become that light unto yourself and you will find a universe, dancing, creating. As you become one with me, you will know that I am you and all that is you, is me.

When I think of my life, it has been a miracle. All that has happened is a miracle.

To