Extended Massive Orgasm, Updated and Illustrated: How you can give and receive intense sexual pleasure

By Steve Bodansky and Vera Bodansky

Hunter House has a new year's resolution you can stick to: better sex!

Published just in time for the new year, the second edition of Extended Massive Orgasm offers even more in-depth information on how to achieve great sexual pleasure, so that your goals for 2013 can include:

1. Longer and more intense orgasms
2. More pleasure
3. A deepened relationship

The authors of this book reveal techniques that everyone can use to give and receive extended massive orgasms. Readers will learn how to produce an extended orgasm manually, with fingers and hands touching the genitals in a precise way. With a strong focus on how to pleasure a woman, the authors also discuss pleasing men. They describe how satisfying your partner in this way is an ecstatic experience for both parties and can enhance your relationship.

New updates in this edition include:

new techniques for focusing on pleasure
14 new diagrams and drawings for understanding techniques
new stroking techniques for the clitoris
expanded section on the male orgasm
expanded section on communication and relationships

Additionally, the authors have re-written some of the original material, with insights gained from the decade of teaching sexual ecstasy that has passed since the first edition was published. Rewritten parts include:

Positions for optimum orgasm
Detailed training techniques
The nature of orgasm and the capabilities of the human nervous system
The difference between sensuality and sexuality
Safe sex practices
Overcoming resistance to pleasure
Understanding how both partners benefit from extended massive orgasm

Filled with specific techniques, methods, ideas, and scientific and anatomical information phrased in an accessible and readable style, this book explores the nature of pleasure and why it is so difficult to achieve in our society. The authors discuss the differences and similarities between the sexes and how to exploit those to achieve a fantastic relationship. They also include information on how to seduce your partner, how to explore your own sexuality through learning how you enjoy being touched, and how to communicate your desires to your partner clearly and joyfully.

The benefits to both partners of an extended massive orgasm are immeasurable. Women who thought they were unable to experience orgasm at all have learned to become fully orgasmic through the techniques in this book. These women experienced such pleasurable intensity and sensation in their bodies for an extended time period that the preconceptions and limitations they had placed on themselves and their sexual potential were totally vanquished.

And this is available to anyone who reads the book and applies and practices the methods described in Extended Massive Orgasm.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Turner Publishing Company
• Release date: Mar 12, 2013
• ISBN: 9780897936828

Steve Bodansky

Steve Bodansky and his wife Vera have been teachers of sensuality for the past 35 years. Steve received a Masters in Molecular Genetics at SUNY at Albany and a Doctorate at More University in sensuality with an emphasis on female orgasm. He first studied and then taught at More University through 1992. For the past 30 years they have been coaching students to expand their orgasmic potential and to improve their relationships. A number of their former students have become sensual facilitators themselves. Steve has written numerous books about optimizing sensual pleasure, including 2 best sellers: Extended Massive Orgasm and The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm.

Book preview

Introduction to the Second Edition

Each moment with you is eternal

Each moment with you is bliss

Each moment with you I cherish

Each moment with you is my wish.

Our publisher contacted us a couple of years ago to tell us they thought it was time to revise our first book, Extended Massive Orgasm, or EMO. We thought the book was perfect the way it was and did not need any revisions. Revising it would be like extending an already extended massive orgasm, like giving Lady Godiva or Rapunzel hair extensions. It would be too much of a good thing. Besides, we were busy with a couple of other projects, including writing our memoirs, Extended Massive Life, or EML (2010), and writing a book of love poems, Universe of Love (2012). In other words, we were not ready.

When we finished those projects, Hunter House was still there, asking us to consider writing a second edition of EMO. As we contemplated their request we saw that although the book was indeed perfect, one could always make something even more perfect. We were finally ready. We could now take Godiva and Rapunzel to the hair salon. We were at last passionate about this project.

We believe it is best to only do things we feel enthusiastic about. We approach life’s tasks as often as possible with joy and passion. When it comes to writing about pleasure, it is doubly important to experience pleasure during the creative process. Doing otherwise would make one a hypocrite. We seek to live our lives this way, and we consider it even more important to do so when exposing our readers to these principles. To take on a task simply for money or success goes against our grain. Eckhart Tolle writes in both The Power of Now and The New Earth that when you do something merely for success—when you are in pain and not present while you are accomplishing it—then the work is no more than a means to an end and will lack quality. That is why it was important to wait to begin this project until we felt enthusiastic and passionate about it. I should add that we are not against money or success, but we see them as byproducts of our work, not its purpose.

Most of the reviews and comments we received after the publication of EMO were positive. Nevertheless, a number of women who had not read the book felt its title might be a deterrent to women for whom it was hard enough to have a regular orgasm. We sympathized with those women and agreed that the title could be a little scary to some. In fact, the working title had been The Art and Science of Sensual Pleasure, but our publisher wanted a more exciting title, and that is why Extended Massive Orgasm was chosen. If you are one of those who might be scared by what this book’s title seems to promise (or threaten), we have one piece of advice: don’t be! Both the first edition of EMO and this new one were written to show that experiencing orgasm can be easy and simple, and all that is required is one’s attention and focus on her or his genitals in the present moment.

Those comments also inspired us to write our most recent sex book, titled Instant Orgasm, or IO (2008). IO is a perfect application of what Tolle teaches in his books about the importance of being fully present, only our focus is on being fully present during orgasm. We write about the importance of the very first moment of genital contact (what we refer to as the first stroke, since we emphasize manual stimulation) and even the moments before the first stroke. It is essential to be fully present whenever you are being pleasured; that way, you can feel more sensation right away. We have taken the idea of being fully present and incorporated it throughout this new edition.

We also borrowed from IO some of the techniques for overcoming specific resistances to pleasure, as well as a few more descriptions of different ways to stroke the clitoris. We have added more information about certain techniques, such as how to help your partner feel more sensation before you even touch her or him. It is amazing how much you can feel when your attention is totally directed to your pleasure.

Contrary to what some people assumed, our second book, The Illustrated Guide to Extended Massive Orgasm, or IMO (2002), was more than just EMO with drawings. It contained additional information about the specific sensual techniques we teach and less about the philosophy of pleasure that is addressed in EMO. IMO uses drawings to make some of the techniques easier to follow; plus there is quite a bit more instruction on the male sexual potential. We have included some of the fine drawings from that book in this edition of EMO. We have also expanded the sections on extending the male orgasm. However, you will still find lots of information in IMO that is not included here.

And finally, we have also borrowed from our book To Bed or Not to Bed (2006), which is about the relationship between men and women.

Besides the material adapted from our other books, we have added a number of new techniques and ideas—for example, the concept of using your partner’s resistance to take control of her or his pleasure. We have emphasized the importance of keeping an open mind and thinking outside the box when you’re pleasuring someone. We recommend that you familiarize yourself with our guidelines as a good set of basic skills, but avoid treating them as strict rules. In our years of working with sensuality students, we continually discover possibilities for learning new techniques and skills.

The original EMO was specifically written to imitate the orgasmic response. We aroused the reader slowly by opening the book with our philosophy and some information about psychology. Next, we increasingly titillated the reader with instructions about giving and receiving pleasure. In the final section of the book we brought the reader down with important but less tantalizing topics. We kept this format for the second edition and even maintained the same chapter organization. Most of the new material has been incorporated into the book’s middle section, where we describe in even greater detail than before how to produce more pleasure in your partner. So what we have done is extend the orgasmic part of the book. As we learn new ideas and techniques, we are able to pass them on to you, which can enhance your ability to both give and receive pleasure.

  Our Lives Since the First EMO  

As we wrote in our e-book Extended Massive Life, just before EMO was published, in the fall of 2000, an article came out in the now-defunct magazine Talk about Vera and the one-hour orgasm. A flurry of interviews ensued with magazines, newspapers, and even TV stations from around the world. We received offers to travel to a number of different countries to teach. We didn’t expect such a huge interest in our work as we’d never had any publicity before. EMO was selling well on Amazon.com; it was even on the top-100 list for a few months. Random House of England bought the rights to sell the book to all the commonwealth nations and wanted us to do a book tour.

At the same time, we had a date in New York City to give a DEMO course (Demonstration of an Extended Massive Orgasm). People traveled from around the world for the DEMO. Vera does not like airplanes so we took a train from California to NYC. On the journey she began to feel very sick. Once we got to NYC, Vera asked our host and student Regena Thomashauer, aka Mama Gena, to do the DEMO so Vera could get to the hospital. After the DEMO, Regena and I went to the hospital and learned that Vera had been diagnosed with colon cancer, which had apparently spread to her liver. I fainted as I heard the prognosis, but Vera turned to me and said, It’s okay. We will just use this as a reason to go higher.

The doctors operated successfully on the colon, and her liver turned out only to have some water cysts. We had to cancel most of our book tour so Vera could rest at home and receive more treatment. As Vera predicted, we used her illness as a reason to create a better and more joyous life for ourselves and our friends.

Vera and I met on a road named Here, and we are still on the here road of teaching and learning about sensuality. The publication of our books and their translation into German, French, Chinese, Spanish, and Portuguese has broadened our appeal internationally, and although we never did go on that world tour we have been blessed to receive students from all corners of the world. Helping someone blossom into a sensually confident lover is very gratifying to us and gives our life’s outer purpose special meaning.

Every moment we live is an original experience. It allows us to perceive newness with each occurrence in our awareness. Rereading our own words and reworking some of the concepts more than twelve years after first writing them has been an enlightening endeavor that has opened us up to fresh aspects of the material. The process has enriched our understanding, and hopefully you will profit from these enhanced insights. In other words, you can benefit greatly from reading part or all of this book more than once. We have included a lot of information and techniques. We do not expect you to remember everything from one reading and immediately become an expert. It will take time and practice.

Meanwhile, you do not have to finish the book before starting on your path to more fun and pleasure with yourself or with your partner. Those are the keywords: fun and pleasure. We guarantee that just by reading this book you will become a better lover. Practicing the techniques and applying the information will give you an opportunity to become a great one.

Introduction to the First Edition

(Updated for the Second Edition)

Vera and I met in May 1979 on a road named Here in an experimental university in Northern California. My first words to Vera were, My name is Steve, and I’d love to do you. To do someone, or the act of doing, is our own jargon for giving someone an orgasm by manual stimulation of his or her genitals. I had never used that line before and I’ve never used it again—I don’t recommend it, but it did seem to work, and we were having do dates shortly thereafter.

The times were more open sexually in the 1970s than they are now, especially in California, and our community was very open sexually and even gave courses in sensuality. We were students at More University, which grew out of the More community. This community began in 1968 and still exists (although we’re no longer members). Its founders believed that in order for a large group of people to successfully live close together and be intimate, they would have to handle sex. There were two ways that this could be done: either total celibacy, as with monks and nuns, or a high degree of structured openness and honesty between consenting adults. Because this was California in the 1970s, the second option was clearly preferable.

Vera and I did a lot of research together. We both majored in sensuality at More University, taking courses in Alternate Life Styles and Communication. We researched the female orgasm and eventually received doctorates from More. Our work included all kinds of classes, mostly in techniques of doing and communication. (We are not sure when the word doing came to mean only manual stimulation in our work, but we continue to give the word this meaning today.) We were married in 1983, the third time for each of us. Even after all this time has passed, I still love doing Vera.

The information in this book is a combination of what we learned as students at More and what we have learned from our careers as teachers, focusing upon sensuality, relationships between men and women, and communication. We taught first at More but later struck out on our own, training teachers in San Francisco and then working together as teachers. Specifically, this book is about extended massive orgasm (EMO), a technique that we have studied and taught for many years.

According to the leading sex therapists of the 1950s and 1960s (Kinsey, Masters, and Johnson), the female orgasm constitutes, on average, nine to twelve contractions and lasts a few seconds after a long arousal period. Male orgasms are even shorter. Some women are able to have what are called multiple orgasms, which are a series of these small orgasms. But in our studies, Vera learned to have extended massive orgasms in each encounter, and I learned how to perform this magnificent act for Vera’s pleasure.

An EMO can last anywhere from a couple of minutes to three hours (that was enough for us) to even longer periods of time. An EMO is much more intense than the ordinary orgasm of nine to twelve contractions. An EMO can begin with or even before the first stroke, and it lasts as long as you like. EMOs are best and most efficiently produced with your hands. In this book, we give many techniques and examples of where and how to touch someone to produce the best orgasm.

One of our most informative courses is a demonstration of an extended massive orgasm, called the DEMO. The woman is naked on a special table in the front of the room, while the man, sitting on a stool next to her, stimulates her genitals. The man is fully clothed, and the experience is not in the least pornographic. The orgasm lasts for one hour; it is quite clinical yet still very intense and pleasurable, and affection is shown between the demonstrators. They are able to talk and answer questions while the orgasm happens. Additional information about EMOs is presented before and after the demonstration.

This book has been written in the hope that more people will be able to add the pleasure of EMOs to their lives. First things first, though. In order to have a great sex life, you have to understand the similarities and differences between the behavior and thinking of the two sexes. You also have to develop superior communication skills. This book includes information on both these topics as well as specific sexual techniques for producing EMOs.

Although this book focuses mostly on the female orgasm, this is a book for both women and men. Our goal is to teach women and men about having bigger and better orgasms and to teach lovers to be heroes by learning how to produce an EMO. Most of the techniques we describe for expanding her orgasm can be used to expand his as well. We also include specific techniques for creating pleasure in a male body.

We usually teach this sensual information to heterosexuals, both singles and couples, but we’ve had some gay and lesbian students, and they were able to expand their pleasure as well. The book can be read by both couples and singles, and couples can read it either together or alone. It is intended for both experts and novices—it can benefit people who are just beginning their sensual exploration as well as advanced students and even people who hope to teach sensuality.

Doing really begins with seducing and romancing a person’s mind. Before touching someone’s body, you have to touch his or her mind. If you are not able to do that, you will never be able to give your lover that special pleasure, no matter how well you can touch. Doing someone’s mind really begins with focusing your total attention on that person. Noticing where they are at mentally and emotionally and how they respond to your attention allows you to proceed in your seduction. Of course, confidence in knowing that you can touch wonderfully is an asset, especially if it is quiet confidence, not egomaniacal bragging.

Learning to have EMOs is not as simple as some people might hope, but it’s not as difficult as some might fear. A key lesson is understanding the importance of the clitoris. Many men, including myself, are or were ignorant about the role of the clitoris. It’s not that we did not want to know; we just had no idea. Before Masters and Johnson and Kinsey did their research, it was thought (at least in Western culture) that the vagina was the source of female orgasm and that the clitoris played a secondary role. I was married for the first time when I was twenty and was with my first wife for five years. She never mentioned the clitoris, nor did I hear it mentioned elsewhere. We did not talk about sex, and I have no idea if she had orgasms or even knew where her clitoris was. I wish we had had a How to Do book when we got married.

Since the sexual revolution and the feminist movement, more people have become aware of female orgasm and the importance of the clitoris. Unfortunately, most people still do not know how to have a great orgasm every time they have sex, nor do they know how to produce one for their partners at will.

How to Use This Book

In this book, you will learn about the most sensitive areas on your own body and on the bodies of members of the other sex. You’ll learn the best ways and techniques to touch those areas to intensify sensation, and you’ll learn how to keep an orgasm going. If your orgasm lasts just a few seconds now, it can expand to a few minutes. And once your orgasm lasts minutes, there is no reason why you can’t train to make it last indefinitely.

To become good at anything usually takes practice, so we don’t expect you to have hour-long orgasms just by reading a book. You need to practice. What, after all, could be more fun than practicing something that gives you and your partner intense pleasure?

Producing orgasms is much easier than learning to play the violin, learning to use a computer, or even learning to play golf. How many people do you know who have given pleasure priority in their lives, or spent much time learning to better experience and produce pleasure? After just a bit of practice, you will notice that you can either have or produce much more intense orgasms than you previously could. You might even be able to produce a sweet sound your first time out.

We hope that you are able to read this book with an open mind and that you take its ideas as ways to add more fun to your life. The ideas and information in this book are based on research, and we approach sensuality as scientists, yet we have had (and are having) wonderful, pleasurable experiences in this pursuit. Pleasure and research are not mutually exclusive. We do not consider ourselves therapists (not that therapists can’t play an important role in people’s lives) but rather explorers and facilitators. Therefore, there’s no reason to stop doing any of the fun sexual activities you’re already doing; we’re not shouldists or moralists. This book simply gives you more options, offering proven techniques and ideas that can add more pleasure to your life.

There are a couple of other things to keep in mind as you read this book. We believe that all parties involved in sexual acts should be consenting and in agreement at all times. We also believe that it is important to deliberately plan pleasure. Many people believe that fun and pleasure should be spontaneous. Spontaneity is, of course, great when it happens, but you may have to wait a long time before it does, especially once a relationship is no longer new. In our experience, the more deliberate steps that you take to plan fun and pleasure, the more spontaneous fun and pleasure results. By practicing and deliberately training yourself and your partner to feel more via the EMO methods described in this book, you will open yourselves up to much more pleasure. Other sexual acts, such as intercourse and oral sex, will become vastly more pleasurable as well. In fact, we believe that your whole life will improve, because this work hones your communication skills, which are so important to all aspects of an effective life.

We have successfully taught this material to groups, couples, and individuals for more than thirty years. The first edition of EMO, which came out in 2000, was our first attempt to put this information into the form of a book. We are not sure how much you will be able to take from the written word, which is very different from working directly with facilitators, and we assume that some folks will get more than others from this book. But we’ve attempted to structure the book much like our classes. When we teach, we usually have a specific agenda, and some material is presented before other material. We’re also guided by the goals of our individual students. Because we don’t know your specific goals, we have attempted to put this material in the order and form that will aid the general student of sensuality. You are on your own here, and you are free to skip around to the chapters that interest you most, although we do recommend that you read the book from beginning to end. The choice is yours.

Although we just mentioned a general student of sensuality, this person probably does not exist. Everyone has unique desires and goals. Our goal is for you to become an artist at doing and at coming, and art is about individual creativity. It is our wish that you digest the information in this book and then take off, using your own style and creativity. In fact, we debated whether to use the words art or science in the book’s subtitle. We compromised, because giving and receiving EMOs is both an art and a science. Once you understand and become adept at the techniques and science of doing, it will become second nature to you. At that point, your creativity will emerge, and the artist in you will develop.

  How the Book Is Structured  

This book has four major parts. The first, Before Foreplay, consists of three chapters. The first presents some basic ideas, definitions, and terminology that help you understand EMOs and how to best relate to the information in the rest of the book. The second chapter explores the roles of people’s cultural influences and prejudices in their sexuality, and the third chapter discusses the benefits of one person taking an active role in a sexual experience while the other takes a passive role.

The second part, Foreplay, contains three chapters that help you prepare for practicing EMO techniques. Chapter 4 describes some differences between men and women and helps you better understand each partner’s perspective. Chapter 5 is about knowing your body. It provides a series of exercises that teach you to love yourself more, to feel more, and to determine how and where you prefer to be touched. The clitoris, that all-important player in orgasm, is also discussed here. Chapter 6 teaches you about the art of seduction and how to be a better kisser.

You will then be ready to go on to Part III, Play, which also has three chapters. Chapter 7 tells you about doing a woman as well as doing a man. Chapter 8 teaches you about the ways we’ve discovered that best help people communicate with their partners about sex and gives you ideas for training your partner.

Reviews for Extended Massive Orgasm, Updated and Illustrated

[jeanie1_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

The short of it: Sex is a natural occurance. If you have hang ups, with the help of your partner, you can get over them - no one is perfect. Talk to your partner, ask them what they like, tell them what your like. Be kind. Nothing is "weird" between consenting adults. Remember to enjoy the experience. Practice, Practice, Practice.

[currlee33 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

If this was your first book on the subject (it was for me) then it was fine. I don't really see that it contributed many novel ideas to the field. I found it was mostly psychological rather than technical, and much of the stories were anecdotal. I don't recommend it.

[jaden_39 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I could have done without the image on the front cover. We have young kids and I haven't had "the talk" yet. The book itself was limited in the information provided. I've been married for ten years and thought this would add a little variety to the bedroom. Overall it was lacking and I found very little new techniques or ideas.

[jennyonfire · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This was a very graphic book, almost to the point of embarrassment. I also found it to be more related to what HE should do, rather than what partners should do to enhance their relationships. I passed this book onto my husband in case he found something useful. After he looked through it he said there was nothing new, nothing revolutionary and the book was a waste.

[carolynschroeder · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I did not find this book as distasteful as some of the other reviewers, but it did strike me as a little goofy and outdated (despite it being an updated/revised text). I did actually like the prefatory chapters on the psychology of pleasure, if you will, although some of it was a bit unrealistic. There is a section where we are supposed to explore our bodies and poof, find ourselves sexy and desireable, but for most women, that simply does not happen. I give the authors credit for trying though. Much of the information was already known to me, but I have to say, from a person "to be pleased" - many lovers do not know some of the simple anatomy of women and where/how to stimulate those areas. So I think a lot of folks would get a lot of benefit out of some of the ways to apply pressure, where, how, etc. It is defintely more about pleasing women then men, but that being said, the book sets that out from the beginning. I think if you do not take it too seriously, and just kind of let it wash over you and pick up the pieces to learn and enjoy, I recommend it. But if you think it will be the definitive guide to orgasm or sex, well, that will probably be a disappointment. It is primarily about manually stimulating a woman (which they call "doing" a woman), so not everyone is going to be all that into that.

[pw0327 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Like the others, I wasn't all that impressed. The drawings didn't turn me off as much as the other reviewers but it is kind of obvious that this was from a different time.

[akhelene · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I received this book in the Early Reviewers and was not super impressed. This seemed more like a beginner's guide on the subject and a lot of the concepts were based in common sense. This might be a nice read if you are looking for a first time guide.

[jmkbuddy · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I received this book thru the Early Reviewers Program. I ranked it with 2 stars because I felt the authors were talking down to me, the reader. They kept using the terms "do" and "doing" which made me really uncomfortable and brought me back to the juvenile words we would use in Junior High and High School to talk about foreplay or any sexual activity. Surely the Bodansky's have progressed past the phraseology of "doing" a man or woman or "squirting" him. The organization of the book was good, it built upon techniques learned early on, and was extremely focused upon both partner's pleasure. If I learned anything at all, it was a confirmation of something I have always known - communication is key. The illustrations in the book were not helpful at all. In fact, my feeling was that they were crudely done and did not make for good reference pieces to accompany the text. I might recommend this book to young couples that are hesitant or less experienced to give them a vehicle for discussion - but all in all, this book would not be my first choice.

[motherdragon · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

interesting and full of details but can be too technical and sterile; illustrations for some reason look "angry" and violent and not romantic etc. But it's always good to keep learning!

[cranjetta · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I requested this book in the early reviewers program hoping it was similar to "The Guide to Getting it On". This book is no where near as complete as the "Guide to Getting it On". The illustrations are all rather mundane and don't really provide a good example of what the writer is talking about. The writing, while decent and in depth, read more like a self help book. Overall neither I nor my girlfriend were impressed.