Colin and the Gladiators

By Merv Lambert

Another fantastic book of stories about M, the invisible computer-generated emu. In this collection, we meet M's emu girl-friend from Australia, rescue Kylie, the baby kangaroo, have a custard-pie fight in Hollywood, wing-walk on a biplane and witness a gladiatorial battle in ancient Rome. As expected, in every story in which he appears M never misses a chance to produce his own brand of comical antics.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AUK Kids
• Release date: Jan 15, 2013
• ISBN: 9781782345794

Book preview

1988.

High Expectations

It all started very slowly, and then became more and more frantic.

For once it was not Colin’s magic phoenix bookmark that caused the following events. Auntie Flo was the culprit. Perhaps she should not have told M that she was bringing his emu girl-friend Emma over from Oztralia, as the two emus called it. For several days he had, even for him, been hyperactive, dashing around Olivia and Colin’s house and also the house not far away, where Colin’s cousins Billy and Jilly lived with their parents. He had also been swinging around in the trees in the park both in the daytime and at night. Yes, he was definitely over-excited. Not only was he looking forward to seeing Emma again, but he was wondering what the surprise was that Auntie Flo had mentioned.

Jilly was feeling a little alarmed by the state M was now in, and asked Auntie Flo if she could bring Emma’s visit forward, but Auntie Flo said no, she had her reasons. M would just have to wait, but she had thought of something that might take his mind off things and give him a new interest.

Consequently the next day Mrs. Burton, Billy and Jilly’s Mum was surprised, when a van pulled up outside her house, and two men carried an extremely large package up the path, and asked her to sign for it.

What is it? she asked. And who is it from? I haven’t ordered anything, and I don’t think my husband has, although he doesn’t always tell me.

Well, there’s a label on it here, said one of the men.

Mrs. Burton read it, and said, Oh, it’s from my sister, and it’s for my son and daughter. They’re at school at the moment, and my husband is at work.

We’ve been asked to assemble it for you, said the second man. Where do you want it set up? At the bottom of the garden?

Er, yes, I suppose so, although this is the first I’ve heard about it.

Half an hour later the job was done, and, having enjoyed a nice cup of tea, the men said goodbye, and departed in their van.

The phone rang, and Mrs. Burton half expected it was her sister calling. She was right. It was Auntie Flo.

Flo, why didn’t you tell me? she complained.

Auntie Flo laughed. Sorry, dear. I wanted it to be a complete surprise for Billy and Jilly. I’m sure they’ll like it.

I know, sighed Mrs. Burton. It’ll give Billy another excuse to try and put off doing his homework.

Of course Auntie Flo did not tell her sister the real reason she had sent it, as Mrs. Burton would never accept that an invisible emu lived at her house, and that she and her husband were the ones, who could not see it. Yes, Billy and Jilly would be delighted. Auntie Flo said she would pop round in the afternoon to see them, when they arrived home from school. She did not say that the present was really for M, and that he would be there too.

The first thing Billy and Jilly did, when they arrived home from school, was to change into jeans and T-shirts. Then they made their way out into the garden.

Hello, Auntie Flo, said Jilly.

Hello, M, murmured Billy.

Hello, darlings, beamed Auntie Flo. There’s something for you at the bottom of the garden. You’d better go and show him how to use it. She indicated a puzzled-looking emu, who kept fidgeting from foot to foot.

Billy ran off past the high bushes and the two silver birch trees, and shouted, Wow! Come and look at this, Jilly!

M had got there before them, and was looking even more puzzled.

Jilly’s eyes lit up, and she grinned. We’ve always wanted one.

Bags I go first! shouted Billy.

Jilly was impatient to try it