3250 Questions to Ask Before Marriage
By K. M. Ryan
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About this ebook
Should I marry him?
"3250 Questions to Ask Before Marriage" is an essential guide for couples who are dating, engaged or getting married.
With an estimated 40% of all marriages ending in divorce, couples need to be sure they really know the person they are marrying and are well prepared to enter marriage as a lifetime commitment.
These pre marriage questions and fun relationship questions let couples really get to know one another. Couples can pick out subject areas where they believe they have the most conflict and ask each other those questions. When couples can ask each other questions and listen to each other actively, honestly, and openly, they gain insight into their partner's beliefs, values, goals, likes, and dislikes.
Couples who are able to openly, honestly and lovingly communicate with each other are the couples whose marriages have the best chance of success.
This book has questions on subjects that include work, money, sexuality, personality, education, health, children, religion, the past, entertainment, and much more.
The author also includes a bonus section of questions that include questions to ask your pastor, questions to ask his mother and his ex, questions for her dad to ask her partner, questions for men to ask themselves, and more.
When couples are able to explore intimacy with their partner, explore their own and their partner's thoughts and feelings, and understand their partner and themselves, they have a much higher chance of entering into a successful marriage that will last.
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3250 Questions to Ask Before Marriage - K. M. Ryan
Introduction
It's estimated that 40% of all marriages entered into this year and following years will end in divorce. Living together before marriage can greatly increase the chance of a couple getting divorced.
Even couples whose parents have happy marriages have a 26% chance of getting divorced while college-educated couples have a 30% chance of getting divorced.
In order not to end up a divorce statistic, it's essential that couples are well prepared to enter marriage as a lifetime commitment.
The three most common reasons for divorce are a lack of commitment from one or both partners, a lot of conflicts and arguments, and infidelity.
The questions in this book are good for couples to ask each other in any stage of a relationship from dating to engagement and marriage preparation.
When couples can ask each other questions and listen to each other actively, honestly, and openly, they gain insight into their partner's beliefs, values, goals, likes, and dislikes.
When couples are able to explore intimacy with their partner, explore their own and their partner's thoughts and feelings, and understand their partner and themselves, they have a much higher chance of entering into a successful marriage that will last.
If couples find that any questions give rise to conflict, it is advised they seek out a marriage therapist or pastoral counsel to help them work through any conflict before they enter into marriage.
1. Work and Job
Discovering your partner's work history allows you to see how old they were when they got their first job, what kind of career they have chosen, how many jobs they have had, and what their future career goals are, and more.
If your partner works a lot now, that may not change once you are married. If your partner accepts a promotion this may entail more work hours and more travel.
It's essential to be on the same page in this area. If one of you wants to quit work and take care of the house and future kids once you get married but the other partner doesn't agree with that, you face major conflict.
You should both pick out the most important questions to ask each other. When you disagree on a question, work through how you will resolve it before you get married.
Talking about work and job issues now will open your lines of communication and help to lessen surprises after marriage. Continue to dialogue with each other once you are married, too.
_________________________
What type of work do you do?
Would this be your perfect career choice?
How many hours a week are you working?
What are your daily working hours?
Once you're married, will you keep the same daily and weekly hours?
What all do you do in your job?
What would your dream job be?
Do you or friends or family think you are a workaholic?
What is your plan after you retire? What would you like to do?
Have you ever been fired? Why?
Have you ever quit a job? Why?
Have you changed jobs a lot?
Do you consider work a career or a job?
Has your work ever factored in breaking up a relationship?
Are you working in the field you want to be working in?
How much time will we each spend working and what will our hours be?
What if one of us doesn't want to work?
Is making a lot of money important to you?
What type of work did your parents do?
What were their daily and weekly hours and schedules?
What's your work attitude? Can you turn off
once you stop working for the day?
Do you need to have a career?
What if you had to start working overtime - would that be okay with you?
Once we have children, will one of us be able to quit working?
For women - how much maternity leave would you take off?
For men - would you want your wife to go back to work or stay home with the kids?
Where do you see your career in the future?
If one of us lost our job next week, what would we do?
If we could quit our jobs, would we?
Would we be able to start a business and work together daily?
How do you deal with job stress?
Do we have similar career goals?
Are you employed or self-employed?
What's your annual income?
What comes first - family or work?
Would you want to work at home if you could?
Where do you see your career in 1, 5, 10, 20 and 30 years?
Would you say your boss is unhappy, happy or very happy with your work performance?
How do you feel about your boss?
Have you ever had a bad boss?
Are you a team player?
Would you prefer to work by yourself?
Do you have a cubicle, your own office, or do you share an office?
Do you think you have a good balance between work and leisure time?
How hard of a worker are you?
Do you think doing enough to get by is good enough?
Have you ever taken a sick day when you weren't sick?
What's your opinion on dating co-workers? Have you?
Did your workplace allow that?
Is your work considered part time? Are there slow periods where you don't work at all?
What do you do then?
If I was frustrated with my career, what would you suggest I do to chase away the burned-out feelings?
Do you feel appreciated at work?
Do you get satisfaction from your job?
Can I call you at work if I need to? What about stopping by occasionally?
If money wasn't an option, what business would you start?
What do you think your annual income will be in your current job in 5, 10 and 20 years?
If you had to take a pay cut but would be working in your dream job, would you do that?
What was the best job you ever had? Why?
Have you ever asked for a raise?
Have you ever resigned when you didn't get a raise?
Do you think you were ever passed over for a promotion and someone undeserving was promoted, instead?
What did you do?
Who's someone you admire in your career field?
Why do you admire them?
Looking back, are you happy with where you are at now in your job?
Do you feel respected at work?
Would you ever work with family members?
What about working with friends?
Have you ever done either?
Do you believe your work defines you?
If your job doesn't come first, what does?
Is anyone dependent on you working?
Is there anything that I wouldn't feel comfortable with regarding your job? Anything that would put me in danger?
Are your work hours set or flexible? Which would you prefer?
What would you sacrifice in your career if you needed to?
What would you not?
How does your boss feel about you?
Do you feel taken for granted at work?
What would you do if you lost your job?
What about if I lost my job?
If I was transferred out of town for my job would you go with me?
If you needed to work two jobs to pay the bills, would you?
2. Finances and Money
Money is a big topic that can be a major stressor in a couple's relationship unless it is dealt with open and honestly.
Ask each other as many questions as you can on this topic. When you find you disagree on a question, lay out steps you need to take so you can get close to being on the same page.
Find a way to meet in the middle and compromise if you both cannot come to a complete agreement with each other.
With the lines of communication open, you can work out any financial and money issues before you walk down the aisle.
These questions are ones that both of you should keep open dialogue about as you go through your marriage together.
_________________________
What dollar amount is needed for monthly home maintenance? For all expenses?
What dollar amount can we afford for monthly mortgage or rent payment?
What is our joint income? What do we expect it to be in 5, 10, and 20 years?
Are we each responsible for certain bills? If so, what will I pay, and what will you pay?
What are our income financial goals?
When do you think we will meet these goals? How will we do it?
What are our different expenses? What do we spend monthly and yearly on each one?
Do we need to reduce any expenses?
Which ones are the easiest to cut back on?
Which ones are you unwilling to reduce?
What is your annual income? Gross? Net?
Do you pay alimony or child support?
Do you think we should do a family budget?
Should we have separate bank accounts plus joint accounts? For both checking and savings accounts or just checking accounts?
Should we each pay specific bills in relation to each of our incomes?
Who pays what?
Who will make sure all bills are paid on time?
Who prepares our taxes?
Who should be in charge of family finances?
What are your debts? Any loans? How do you repay your loans? How much is each payment?
Should we save money for fun (eating out, hobbies, etc.) even if our budget is tight?
Have you ever used money to control a partner? Has a partner tried to control you with money?
Has money ever caused a relationship to break up?
What's your credit score?
When we have kids, is a private school an option?
Who pays for college or graduate school for our kids? Us or them?
What's a fair allowance for kids?
What kind of lifestyle do you envision for us? What do you think it will cost?
How do you save and invest?
Once married, will we be able to talk about money?
Do you save more or spend more?
What is the dollar amount of each of our debts?
What is the dollar amount of each of our assets?
What is the dollar amount of each of our savings?
Where does our money go weekly, monthly and yearly?
Do we both know where our important financial papers are?
How much should we save in a month? In a year?
What type of investments should we have? Are you more comfortable with low risk or high risk investments? Or do you prefer a mix?
What does financial security mean to you?
If you won $500,000 what would you do with it?
What should we do with a year-end work bonus?
What standard of living are you used to now? What about growing up?
Do you expect our expenses to continually increase?
What is your attitude towards money?