Doing the Happy Thing

By Michele Ableson

A down to earth, easy to read and follow guide that shows you how to get the happy life you want.
Happiness can be learnt Doing The Happy Thing will help you develop and practice new habits of thinking, perceiving and doing until happiness becomes an automatic and natural part of your everyday life.
Once you know how to be happy in the present moment this happiness flows out and affects everything else in your life, bringing you more of the things you really want.
Delve deeper into understanding how and why we block the good things in life and how you can easily open the way to getting what you want, even if you don’t quite know what that is yet.
The bringing together of Modern Psychology, Yogic Philosophy, Neuro-linguistic Programming, the wisdom of the elderly, as well as years of reading and exploring self help material and loads of life experience all wrapped up into one practical guide. Enjoy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Michele Ableson
• Release date: Jan 3, 2016
• ISBN: 9780994449122

Michele Ableson

A little bit about me. I’m a big believer in personal growth and taking responsibility for your own happiness. I love learning and exploring and being free to do both. As a result, I’ve worn many hats including Author, Registered Nurse, Yoga Teacher, Hypnotherapist, and Winemaker. I live a minimalistic life on a yacht with my partner and enjoy sailing, exploring and being one with nature. It’s not all sunsets, drinks, nana naps, beach walks, fresh fish, white sails and the water rushing past, dolphins, turtles, whales and birdlife... okay yes it is. I love my life.QualificationsDip Applied Science- Registered Nurse – Newcastle UniversityIntensive Care Certificate –Concord Repat HospitalDip Viticulture and Winemaking – organic perspective- TAFE Kurri Kurri NSWCert Clinical Hypnotherapy – The Mind AcademyCert Neuro-Linguistic Programming – The Mind AcademyEFT – The Mind AcademyYoga Teacher Certificate -SantoshaPre and Post Natal, Kids and Teens Yoga Teachers Cert –Santosha

Book preview

Doing The Happy Thing

Michele Ableson

How to get the happy life you want

Copyright 2016 - Michele Ableson

Published by Round Tree Wellness - Australia

Distributed by Smashwords

Cover design by Shabbir Ali-Centerspread

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

The information contained in this book is intended to be educational and not for diagnosis, prescription, or treatment of any health disorder whatsoever. This information should not replace consultation with an authorised healthcare professional.

Table of Contents

Forward

Are You Happy?

Becoming Aware

Your Natural Right to be Happy

Making Yourself Happy First

Subconscious Habits

Focusing on Happy or Sad

Being Right or Being Happy

Doing the Happy Body Thing

What’s Your Story

Happy Now

It’s Only Temporary

Happy Cleanout

Happy and Dissatisfied

Other People and Your Happiness

Comparing Happiness

Forgiving for Happiness

Relationships and happiness

More New Happy Habits

Happiness and Depression

Health and Happiness

Happiness and Your Purpose

Being True to Yourself

Allowing Yourself to be Happy

Not Happy and Still Stuck – Help!

What to do when Life Throws You Upside Down

Imagining a Happy Life

Instant Happy Boosters

How Doing the Happy Thing Changes Your Life

More Happy Information

Acknowledgements

Forward

Many years ago I had been working fulltime shift work as a registered nurse in a busy Intensive Care Unit, renovating and paying off a house, dealing with a breakdown in my relationship and bringing up a baby on my own. I thought I was doing well, and was maybe even a little bit proud of being such a super mom. I also thought I had to do and have certain things to be happy and have a good life, but this left very little time or money to actually do the things that made me feel good. As a result I put myself last and kept putting my happiness off until I had achieved what I thought I had to do first. I lost myself in my busy routines and daily stresses. I felt like I could never get there, never win and just wasn’t good enough. I ended up not being able to work and lost my house, self respect and a few good friends along the way. I gained weight and felt very lost, alone and sorry for myself as I wondered why this had happened to me and how I could get my life and happiness back.

This began a long journey of discovery to find the answers. I studied Clinical Hypnosis, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Life Coaching, Modern Psychology, Philosophy, Nutrition and Yoga just to name a few. I learned and then practiced how to be happy. Then one day I just realised I was happy and had been that way for quite a while. I spent a lot of time smiling on the inside.

I really wanted to be able to help others not only recover from disease and illness but to live a happy, healthy life so I started a yoga and wellness business, Round Tree Wellness. I began to work with clients to help them deal with stress, anxiety and depression and the effects it was having on their health and general wellbeing. We worked on their beliefs and habits to help remove the blocks that were in the way of their happiness. I also began casually interviewing my colleagues, friends and patients (both happy and unhappy), about happiness which helped me to gain even more insight into what really makes people happy.

While I was now happy and I knew that I had made this happen by deliberately doing certain things, I could see many that were still struggling with this and I wanted to be able to help even more people. I decided to write the book I wish I had come across at the beginning of my journey.

During the process of writing this book I became more aware of some areas in my own life where I needed to take my own advice, and so I stepped up even further out of my comfort zones and my life has blossomed even more. I often think about how happy I have become and how my life just keeps getting better and better. Happiness really is a continuous journey.

Doing the Happy Thing is a culmination of what I have learned, presented in a down to earth way. In it you will find enough useful information to turn your life around so you too can get the happy life YOU want.

While not every chapter will apply to everyone there will be parts that will hopefully be like turning a light on in some area of your life to show you the way.

My wish for you is that you take this journey and learn to ‘Do the Happy Thing’ so that you too can lead a naturally happy life. Enjoy.

Michele Ableson

Are You Happy?

They say happiness is a state, a way of being and I agree, however it is also so much more. Being happy and living a happy life is easy when you know how. It can be learned.

Some people were lucky enough to grow up in a bilingual environment and easily learnt how to speak another language. It seems so easy and natural for them to speak that language now because they were surrounded by others doing it on a daily basis and they learnt it from a very young age. Other people are lucky enough to grow up with daily examples of how to be happy. It’s also a learned behaviour. From a young age they practiced happiness until it became a habit for them and then an easy way of life. Just because you didn’t grow up in a bilingual environment which would enable you to easily learn how to speak different languages, doesn’t mean you can’t learn a different language now if you choose to. But it won’t just happen. You might have to take a few classes, read some books and listen to some audio recordings, and then practice on your friends. You might even visit or live in the country that naturally speaks this language. It would take some time. If you practiced it often enough and really immersed yourself in it, it would eventually become natural. It is the same with learning to be happy.

Happiness takes practise until it becomes an automatic, subconscious way of being. From there it will expand and in turn affect everything else in your life. Your happiness will flow and you will realise one day that you are just happy.

Happiness is not what you have or don’t have.

Many people think that they will be happy when, when they get that new car, house, a loving relationship, the body they want, or win the lottery...etc. Don’t get me wrong these things are great and there is nothing wrong with wanting or getting them. In fact it’s good for you and the world to want to be rich in all things. It’s good to love and be loved, and to have and experience beautiful and wonderful things. Having all of these things is a part of being and expressing your best self. It’s a natural drive to want to enjoy the best the world has to offer. Did you know that a life rich in happiness also puts you in the best position to give to others, but if you don’t know how to be happy you won’t enjoy what you have or receive. You may be afraid of losing it, or of having things taken from you. You may feel judged or unworthy or attach some other negative emotions and beliefs that lead you to feelings of uneasiness and unhappiness despite getting what you want.

Studies show that happiness itself is not correlated to acquiring more things. Becoming happy this way only makes you happy for a short amount of time and then you return to your set point. You can also have too much of a good thing. You can only eat so much chocolate, even expensive chocolate, before you get sick, or have so much money that it becomes a burden to manage and not a way to bring you happiness. It’s all about balance. Increasing your underlying level of happiness can bring you more of all the good things you want, including more money, love and more happiness in just the right amounts for you.

Perhaps you might think that you would be happy if only...., if only you didn’t have this illness or that partner or boss nagging you and holding you back, or this life you feel stuck in, all that debt or those pimples or wrinkles, or all those problems... There are very few people that are very ill and/or very poor whilst being happy. Being poor, ill, overwhelmed or being a martyr does not make you happy either. Complaining about your problems without working towards solutions just leads to more of the same. There seems to be a point we subconsciously set for ourselves where once we are comfortable, the more or less we have does not mean the happier we are.

The thing is...You need to be happy first. Only then are you in the best place to get what you really want and truly increase your happiness.

We say we just want to be happy but do we really know what that is? Could you describe what it would mean for you in detail? To aim for something you have to be clear about what it is you are aiming for, otherwise how do you know if you have it or not? If you wanted to hit a bull’s eye on a dart board you wouldn’t just start throwing darts up in the air.

So what is happiness?

Here are just a few examples of definitions for you to consider.

It is an emotional state. A feeling of being satisfied with what you have but still able to look forward to other things. It’s a feeling of positive expectation, looking forward to something or just the day ahead on a regular basis. Its peace and excitement and everything in between. Its liking what is happening in the moment and realising things are nice or good. A feeling of being grateful for what you have. It’s feeling sad but knowing it won’t last long because you are generally happy. Feeling like you are in love. Loving things and people and situations. Forgiving and being forgiven and understood. Anticipation of something good, seeing beauty everywhere and enjoying life. Crying over a sad movie or loss of a loved one from a background of feeling good about yourself and your life. Feeling lucky, secure, comfortable, luxurious, free, strong, confident, beautiful and abundant. Feeling like everything is just right and you are fulfilled in your life. Notice there are lot of feelings involved.

Now think about what it means to you. At some stage it would be very helpful to write down what being happy is to you. Hint – it is not the things you get or when this or that happens, but the feelings you would have if you got what you wanted. If you only have a vague idea of what happy feels like for you how will you know if you are really happy? It helps to write a list of the things you want and next to it how you would feel if you got them.

For example:

A new car with a sun roof – free and alive.

A loving partner – loved, more at ease, like I belonged, looking forward to doing things together, respected.

Travel to wherever I want – excited, curious, anticipation, wonder.

To win an Olympic medal – proud, important, respected, busting with exhilaration.

Own my own home – safe, secure, content.

It’s the feelings that you would have if you got the things you want in life that you are interested in exploring. Think about what things you could do now to help you feel this way now. For example, what could you do now that would help you feel free and alive?

Then ask yourself if you would want to feel this way all the time or if you would also want to experience other emotions sometimes. Think about what background feelings you may like to have to experience those emotions from. After all if you were excited 24/7 this would not be so great. But if you felt at peace and experienced other emotions from this place that would be a different thing. What would be the right combination for you? We are all unique and yet the same.

You may be starting to notice that happiness can vary. You can feel ecstatic, so excited you feel as if you want to shout it to the world, and this can be happy, and you can also feel quietly content and like everything is as it should be, just right, and this is also happiness. The feelings can last from a few seconds to much longer.

You know you are happy because you noticed how you were feeling. Our feelings tell us what energy vibration we are in.

You feel lighter, clearer, more energetic and want to do things when you are happy, and heavier, slower, and stuck, when you are sad or down.

Many people wait for something that triggers the happy feelings so they can feel them and recognise that this is happy. Like getting a nice surprise, especially if it is something you really want or buying something new, winning something, drinking to relax at a party, seeing a spectacular scene, getting a new hair style, tattoo, compliment or running into a friend. When this experience is gone they go back to their old ways of being and feel empty or uneasy again. They are waiting for the next thing to bring them happiness because they believe that happiness is controlled by what happens to them. Unfortunately this can sometimes lead to addictions to shopping, alcohol and drugs, gambling, overeating and playing games to win. They want more of the good times, more pleasure and believe this is the easiest way to get it. This then becomes a habit that works on some level to make them feel happy until it gets out of control. Seeking pleasure is natural and healthy. There are much better and more sustainable ways to fulfil your need for pleasure and be happy.

The good news is you can bring happiness to yourself. You can grow it inside you.

During this process there will be lots to think about and so you will easily become lost in your thoughts. Writing things and making lists enables you to see things more clearly. Remember you are learning to be happy. You will need to put in some effort, just like you would if you were learning any other worthwhile thing. You can read over this material or listen to the recordings and decide you are worth doing the work and move forward, or you can have a few thoughts, take no actions and stay stuck where