A Pain in the Butt
By Scott Sonneborn and Timothy Banks
()
About this ebook
Scott Sonneborn
Scott Sonneborn has written more than 20 books, one circus (for Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey), and a bunch of TV shows. He’s been nominated for one Emmy and spent three very cool years working at DC Comics. He lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two sons.
Read more from Scott Sonneborn
Prisoner of the Penguin! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Catwoman's Classroom of Claws Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Dark Knight: Batman and the Villainous Voyage Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDeep Space Hijack Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Killer Croc Hunter Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Tiger Moth: Attack of the Zom-Bees! Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Man of Steel: Superman vs. the Moon Bandits Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Elf Detectives Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to A Pain in the Butt
Titles in the series (6)
The Frankenstein Journals Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Pain in the Butt Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Frankenstein Journals: Guts or Bust Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Frankenstein Journals: Feet First Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Frankenstein Journals: I For an Eye Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsNo Guts, No Gloria Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related ebooks
No Guts, No Gloria Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Frankenstein Journals: Guts or Bust Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Frankenstein Journals: I For an Eye Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGiacomo's Letters Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLeavings: Memoir of a 1920s Hollywood Love Child Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSinister Serpent: The Cleansing, #3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHow To Live With A Woman of the Opposite Sex: or - All the Mysteries of the Universe Unveiled in One Little Book Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Shores of Nowhere: Chronicles of Anais Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Extraordinary Adventures of Alfred Kropp Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Shanna: Heroes of the League, #5 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsInner Guide Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBad Man. Bad Daddy? Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Second Chance Volume 3: A Second Chance volume I, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsA Man Betrayed: A Quinn Winters Novel, #3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDeath Does Not Become Her: The Chronicles of Cassidy Book Eight Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHearts and Sole Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGhost-lines Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThings I Forgot To Say At My Funeral Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsWashing Worms: Memories of a Southern Girl Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBrownie Oxford and the Seabridge Surprise Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsShattered Hearts: Bad Blood, #1 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Matson’s Case No. 2: Matson Case Files, #2 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsGrowing Up Fae Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMemories for Sale: Tales from a Small Town Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsHenning Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings#2020: The Bell Curve & The Metaphor Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPhosphor: An Ischian Mystery Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsFade To Black: Scream For Me Series, #3 Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPowdered Eggs: A Novel Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5Up the Crazy Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Children's Monsters For You
Spy School Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Escape from Zombie Island Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsAre You My Monster? Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Terrifying Tales to Tell at Night: 10 Scary Stories to Give You Nightmares! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/513 Stories to Scare You to Death Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5How I Met My Monster Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Hey, That's MY Monster! Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Monsterstreet #2: The Halloweeners Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Among the Hidden Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Ghost Stories for Kids Age 9 - 12 Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Spy Camp Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5D is for Drool: My Monster Alphabet Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Zombie Chasers Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Iliad & The Odyssey for Boys and Girls Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Pacific Rim Uprising: The Junior Novel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMonsterstreet #1: The Boy Who Cried Werewolf Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Vault of Shadows Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Abominable Snowman Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Hereville: How Mirka Got Her Sword Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Even Monsters Have Manners Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Super Life of Ben Braver Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Babysitter's Guide to Monster Hunting #1 Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Monsters of Rookhaven Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Took: A Ghost Story Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Tantrum Monster: Emotions & Feelings Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsEven Monsters Need Haircuts Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Werewolf Max and the Midnight Zombies Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Bath Monster Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Reviews for A Pain in the Butt
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
A Pain in the Butt - Scott Sonneborn
Hey, so, hello, my future self!
Since you’ve probably already read the previous chapters in my journal, you should know the drill: I wrote all this stuff down in my journal so you would always remember the story of how I met all my cousins.
I guess there’s a chance parts of my journal might have been lost. Or stolen. Or maybe your mind got wiped fighting in the robot wars or whatever it is people are doing thirty years from now.
In that case, here’s what you need to know:
My name is JD. I grew up in an orphanage. No one knew who had left me. So Mr. Shelley, the orphanage director, named me John Doe.
JD for short.
Growing up in the orphanage, the one thing I wanted was a big family. And then one day I found Dr. Victor Von Frankenstein’s journal. In it, he revealed all the secrets about how he created his monster.
The journal also held an even bigger secret (at least to me). I was the son of . . . FRANKENSTEIN’S MONSTER!
I’ve got to admit it was a shock to find out I was the son of a famous monster. Mostly because it meant I had a HUGE family!
Think about it. I inherited all my mismatched arms and hands and ears from my dad.
The way I figured it, the people he got those body parts from were my relatives. I have their legs, feet, and eyes, the same way other kids have their grandmother’s ears or their great-uncle’s nose.
Of course, those people were probably all dead. (At least, I hoped they were dead before Dr. Frankenstein took parts from their bodies and put them in my dad!)
But those people probably had kids and grandkids. They would be related to me too — they’d be like my cousins!
All I had to do was find out who they were. The clues I needed were all in Dr. Frankenstein’s journal. And since I already mentioned that I had found Dr. F’s journal, that should have been a piece of cake, right?
Wrong.
Dr. Frankenstein’s daughter Fran Kenstein stole the journal from me. The only thing I had now were copies of just a few of the pages.
Fran also wanted to find my cousins — to use them to make a new monster.
And by use them,
I mean chop them up and take their body parts! So I had to find them first.
I had already found three: Robert, Sam, and Gloria.
Gloria was the Vampire’s bodyguard. That’s a job that took a ton of guts.
I had the same sort