User's Guide to Complete Sexual Satisfaction: Discover Natural Ways to Encourage Intimacy and Enhance Your Sex Life
By Victoria Dolby Toews and Jack Challem
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About this ebook
Victoria Dolby Toews
In school, Victoria Dolby Toews studied health and received her Master of Public Health degree, but she always knew she wanted to write, as well. Her solution? She became a health journalist. For the past two decades she's been reading highly scientific literature and learning about hot-off-the-presses medical discoveries and then incorporating all of the best parts into her writing. She's the author of several books, including The Green Tea Book. She has written hundreds of magazine articles about achieving wellness through natural medicine and dietary supplements. She lives in the Pacific Northwest with her husband, son, and daughter.
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User's Guide to Complete Sexual Satisfaction - Victoria Dolby Toews
INTRODUCTION
S
ex captures our attention like almost nothing else, and for good reason—it’s one of life’s greatest pleasures. It is also an essential part of a fulfilling life—a great sex life helps us feel our best emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Along with thirst and hunger, sex is one of the most basic and powerful human urges, but sexual desire is much more than just a way to propagate the species. Sex is an expression of affection, a way to connect with a chosen partner, and a celebration of a joyful life. However, for all too many couples, the stress of daily life, the aging process, or declining health get in the way of a satisfying sex life. If you are one of the millions of people who find their sex life wanting, this book can help you reconnect with your sexual energy.
If you are reading this book, you may well be in a long-term committed relationship that doesn’t quite have the pizzazz it once did. In the beginning, you and your lover probably needed nothing more than a glance from each other across a crowded room to start off a chain-reaction that ended in sexual fireworks. But as the years passed, children, careers, and the wears and tears of the body probably got in the way. Today you might feel like it takes nothing less than a nuclear reaction to get things moving in the bedroom. You may think this is the natural course of things, but it’s not. Exciting sex does not have to be only a fond memory of your past; it can be a part of your present and future, too.
In this guide, you’ll learn about the long and colorful history of foods used to fuel sexual fires in Chapter 1. When it was introduced, Viagra became the best-selling new drug in history, and it continues to be a pharmaceutical superstar, even at ten dollars a pill. It’s no wonder that natural (and cheaper) alternatives to Viagra—that is, herbs and supplements that serve as libido boosters—are a powerful part of the dietary supplement market. Chapter 2 will give a rundown of these natural aphrodisiacs and clearly explain which of these are worth a try.
But great sex takes more than popping a pill, which is why Chapter 3 details the lifestyle choices that sabotage your sexual energy and suggests activities you can do instead to keep at peak sexual functioning. For many people, however—nearly half of American women and a third of American men, in fact—the culprit isn’t a lifestyle choice but a serious sexual health problem. These will be explained in Chapter 4, along with their treatments. And even when both partners are sexually healthy, poor relationship dynamics can scuttle any forays in the bedroom before they even get started. That is why Chapter 5 discusses creating the intimacy needed for good sex.
Chapters 6 and 7 delve more deeply into the physical problems associated with impotence and infertility. (Note that the old term impotence
is being replaced by the more scientifically accurate erectile dysfunction,
or ED
for short; those are the terms that will be used throughout this book.) In Chapter 8 you’ll learn about the medical conditions that can interfere with libido, fertility, and ability to perform sexually. For instance, many people don’t realize that medications are the culprit in as many as one in four cases of erectile dysfunction.
You’ll see some specific warnings and contra indications with some of the herbs, supplements, and amino acids discussed in this book. In addition to these, please keep in mind that pregnant or breastfeeding women should not use any medication or medicinal supplement without their health care provider’s input. And readers with specific health problems should work with their doctors to ensure that a particular supplement does not interfere with other conditions or treatments.
Finally, It is important to note that while sex is a wonderful experience, no one should put good health (or even life) on the line for it. Please practice safer sex by using a condom unless you are in a mutually monogamous relationship and know that neither of you has a sexually transmitted disease.
CHAPTER 1
THE AMOROUS TABLE
L
ustful foods and potions have been a fascination of every culture throughout history, and with good reason—the line separating physical hunger and sexual hunger is often a very thin one. Many foods identified as aphrodisiacs fall into one of two categories: either they are reminiscent of the shape of genitalia, or they were rare or mysterious, which allowed all sorts of fantastic claims to be tied to them and not easily disproven.
Eating Your Way to Ecstasy
While some traditional aphrodisiacs seem to be simple folk superstitions, others have a clear underlying validity for the claims made about them. For instance, oysters are a rich source of zinc, a mineral that is necessary for optimal sperm and testosterone levels.
Testosterone
A hormone, best known for its masculinizing effects, made by both men and women that is an integral part of a hearty libido.
Eating in general can be erotic, as evidenced by the many shared meals that have served as preludes to other physical pleasures. Creating an intimate, sensual table from which to indulge is as important (if not more so) than the foods themselves. Candlelight should not be dismissed as a cliché; candles imbue a table with a magical, flickering atmosphere in which anything seems possible. As an added bonus, everyone looks better in candlelight.
Can you really eat your way to ecstasy with the help of chocolate or peaches? There is no hard evidence either way, but it can’t hurt to try.
Alcohol
Alcoholic beverages are often consumed during a romantic meal to help set the mood. But alcohol has mixed results in the bedroom. While it lessens inhibitions, making men and women more receptive to sexual encounters, excessive amounts act as a depressant and interfere with the functioning of both male and female equipment. As Shakespeare’s Macbeth so aptly comments, alcohol provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance.
Alcohol in small to moderate amounts induces feelings of calmness and relaxation—essential precursors to being in the mood for sex. In addition, since alcohol dilates blood vessels, it may enhance erections and vaginal arousal. But there is a fine line between the prosexual effect of one or two drinks and the negative effects of more alcohol. Since alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, greater quantities can interfere with the ability of a man to maintain an erection and/or ejaculate. After three or four drinks, some men may not be able to achieve orgasm at all. Likewise, sexual response is compromised in women drinking these amounts.
Drinking alcohol can serve as the excuse people need to lower their inhibitions. If a person expects to have a sexual reaction to alcohol, he or she probably will. When a