Conscious Contact

By eBookIt.com

Daily Meditations for the Chemically Dependent

• Language: English
• Publisher: eBookIt.com
• Release date: Apr 26, 2016
• ISBN: 9780977850617

Book preview

January 1

The sky’s the limit! ~In loving memory of Ron R.

Because of the commitment of the men and women who began our fellowship, we have seen our members overcome all types of obstacles. In C.D.A. we consistently demonstrate the perseverance, willingness, and commitment it takes to turn around battered lives in ways we never thought possible.   We become better spouses, parents, and friends; we can change or start new careers; we get out of debt; and, we overcome other addictive behavioral or personal challenges. Our founders were not just interested in recovery; they were committed to it. They believed in themselves and in us. Because of this commitment we now have the ability to live fulfilling lives and see our dreams come true. Living the C.D.A. way of life is not something we do when it’s convenient. We carry C.D.A. forward with no excuses, only results.

Today is always a new day in C.D.A.

With each day I make a new commitment

to our wonderful way of life.

Through C.D.A., these people have been able to establish new lives for themselves, with a commitment not often found in others.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 26

January 2

If you judge, investigate. ∼Seneca

HOW to work the Program is simple: Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness to try. Yet so many of us had already made up our minds prior to attending even our first meeting that this program was not for us because ________ (fill in the blank). We had not investigated C.D.A.—we just knew it wasn’t any good. We had contempt before we knew what we were talking about. Maybe we based our contempt on what others had said. Maybe we knew better because we had been to another 12-step program. That is not the HOW of recovery. Sadly, after we get to C.D.A., we may still fail to investigate people, places, and things before judging. How about that meeting we know we won’t like? Or talking to that guy who is such a blowhard? By learning to be honest, open-minded, and willing, we allow ourselves to investigate options before snapping our mind shut. This simple concept is what keeps us growing each day the C.D.A. way.

I know HOW to approach this day:

Honestly, Open-mindedly, and Willingly.

Honesty, Open-Mindedness, and Willingness to Try are H.O.W. the program works. With these qualities, we are on our way to recovery.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 103

January 3

We faced three disturbing realizations: 1. We are powerless over our addiction and our lives are unmanageable; 2. Although we are not responsible for our disease, we are responsible for our recovery; 3. We can no longer blame people, places, and things for our addiction. ~Narcotics Anonymous P 15   

Yikes, WE are the addicts! WE are responsible for our recovery, NOT the people we blamed for our addiction. We can blame them no longer. Yes, these are disturbing realizations. Who wants to look at themselves as the source of their problems when blaming the other guy means that guy has to do something about it, not us? Yet, we learn that our recovery must be based on personal responsibility. The good news is we don’t have to assume full responsibility forever—just for today. Taking responsibility for today is all that is required of us. At some point, these disturbing realizations are no longer disturbing.

I am responsible for the actions

that support my recovery.

My disease didn’t arise out of a lack of parental compassion {…}. They helped to give me something to return to when everything else around me had deteriorated.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 223

January 4

Alcoholism comes to a person; a person doesn’t go looking for it. ~Sister Maurice

It’s a pretty safe bet that none of us woke up one fine morning and announced, I think I’ll become an addict today! I want to make my parents proud and impress my friends. Why don’t I swing by the liquor store and pick up a 12-pack and then on the way home stop by the crack house and give them any money I have left? Just like a heat-seeking missile, chemical dependency hunts us down, and we usually are not aware of just when the disease goes off inside us. But, just because we didn’t ask for this disease doesn’t mean we get to pity ourselves. Who asks for cancer, diabetes, or multiple sclerosis? Unlike most other diseases, we actually have a choice in our recovery!   Wow, what a blessing! So, instead of feeling sorry that this terrible disease found us, we ought to give thanks that such a glorious recovery has found us!

I turn my dis-ease to a sense of ease

by giving thanks that recovery found me.

We believe that, for one reason or another, a Force of a positive nature, which we call a Higher Power, guided us here to C.D.A.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 20-21

January 5

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. ∼Aristotle

The Steps don’t know or care who works them. The Steps don’t know or care how many times they are worked. Step Three doesn’t discern, Oh, this guy is special, he doesn’t need me. Just as Step Four doesn’t say, This gal has got a great mind. She doesn’t need to write down an inventory. Keeping it in her head will be fine. Members of C.D.A. have learned that if you work the Steps, they will work. The only time they do not work is when you do not work them. So, we get into the habit of working our Steps by doing them in the manner suggested by our sponsors. We are what we repeatedly do! We ask ourselves, "What am I doing today that defines who I am?"

I work the Steps so they can work on me.

As we work the Steps, our spirits begin to heal, developing a relationship with a higher power.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 46

January 6

We can change our negative beliefs about life and whether we have the power to stop our pain and take care of ourselves. ~Melody Beattie

They tell us there are no victims, only volunteers. Yet, why does it so often feel like we are being victimized? This is because we have not yet learned to take responsibility for our own choices in recovery. When using, our disease chose for us. In early recovery our sponsor may have chosen for us. Today, we must choose for ourselves. If someone is being abusive with us, we have not yet chosen to take personal responsibility for how we allow others to treat us. If we always sit home alone, we have not yet chosen to be of service in the Program. If we suffer from feelings of depravation in our lives, it is because we have not yet chosen to let our Higher Power become our Employer. Our choices reflect our beliefs. Whether they are negative or positive is up to us.

The choices I make today will

effect my tomorrows.

I used to think that a negative attitude would be there forever, that I had no way out of my depression or my moods. I know better, now.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 127

January 7

Happiness is produced not so much by great pieces of good fortune that seldom happen as by little advantages that occur every day. ∼Benjamin Franklin

Happiness is not by chance, good luck, or dropped in our lap by winning the lotto. It is the by-product of an attitude coupled with action. This attitude comes as a result of our willingness to learn from the Fellowship, and the action comes when we apply what we learn. The attitude that creates happiness is expressed in the Prayer of Saint Francis.   We seek to give … not to receive, to serve … not to be served, and to care … not to be cared for. The actions that create those little advantages that produce happiness are: reaching out to give; serving within the Fellowship; and, caring for newcomers as they enter the rooms. When practicing the right attitude, coupled with the right action, we find that happiness is that certain something acquired while we’re too busy to be miserable.

I seek to give rather than receive, to serve

rather than be served, and to care for

rather than be cared for.

What I've learned, through all that's happened to me, is that if I'm not spiritually fulfilled, I won't be happy.

~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 247

January 8

Listen to guidance and follow the guidance given to your heart. Expect guidance to come in many forms; in dreams, in times of quiet solitude and in the words and deeds of wise elders and friends. ∼The Sacred Tree

Many of us come into the rooms with a chip on our shoulders about God and especially about organized religion. Advice we hear includes: borrow our God, use a doorknob, use the group, or wait and see; don’t look for God—let God find you. As alcoholics and addicts, we have well-established track records of being untrustworthy and unreliable. However, in the matter of choosing a Higher Power that works for us, only we are trusted with that precious and awesome responsibility. We are not told to whom to pray, whose path to follow, or to what religion to subscribe. The freedom to choose a Higher Power that works for us is that vital act of accepting trust that frees us from the bonds of active addiction.

I am grateful for the gift of choice that gave

me the God of my understanding.

As long as we remain willing, remain teachable, we will be able to accept this new way of living, and our growth and success will be limited only by our imaginations.

~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 108

January 9

Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change. ~Barbara S. Cole

The essence of all growth in C.D.A. is a willingness to change for the better. We attain this willingness for change by working through the Steps which enables us to see our attitude and our perception on life transform. Newcomers ask us, When does it get better? We tell them, It gets better when your behavior changes. Gradually, what newcomers need to do becomes what they want to do, and change becomes simple. In the new lives we create, we slowly shed the fear of the past and fear of the unknown while eagerly grasping the freedom that this program so generously offers. Our negative thoughts and ideas are replaced with positive ones. As a result of this, we transform, attaining the spiritual awakening that is needed in order to become the people we are meant to be.

My new outlook on life is mirrored, as I slowly become the person I always pretended to be.

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to chemically dependent persons and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 78-79

January 10

Always be a first rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

Each of us is an individual and there are as many ways to work the Program as there are those of us in recovery. It is one of the great gifts of our fellowship that we all suffer from the same disease, escape that disease following the same path, and yet retain our individuality with no leaders and no laws. Each of us can recover in the Fellowship yet retain our own uniqueness. But, we do not allow the uniqueness of our personal recovery to become so elaborate that it becomes our companion and ally, fostering the feeling that no one understands the complexity of our recovery. This wouldn’t leave room for the healing powers of a caring sponsor and a safe circle of friends. We need them in our lives so that we can find our own path in recovery—through the unique experiences that others willingly share with us.

The special people who help me be a first-rate version of myself are easy to find. They are right in front of me; my Higher Power puts them there.

But even as our diversity makes us unique, our addiction makes us all one and the same.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 16

January 11

Tain’t worthwhile to wear a day all out before it comes. ∼Sarah Orns Jewett

In recovery we often hear that we must clear away the wreckage of our past. A caveat to this in C.D.A. is that we are told not to clear away the wreckage of our future! Why are we told to deal with the wreckage of our past but leave the future to itself? As addicts, we tend to worry needlessly when planning events because we’re usually attempting to project the outcome as well. Projection of every possible negative result is living in the wreckage of that future. The wreckage we create in our minds is our imaginary future. The funny thing is, we can never live in that future, for it is always the present. Those who have not learned to stay in today make themselves sick over possible results that seldom come to be. When we remain in today and trust in the process, we can draw on our current strength and guidance. It is always now and always today. We barely have control over the time called now. So, let’s try and enjoy it!

I must be present to win.

As far back as I can remember, I always looked for a way to avoid the reality of living in the present moment. Life was scary and unpredictable, and there was nothing solid to hang on to or believe in.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 299

January 12

My Higher Power gives the best to me when I give my choice to Him. ∼The Pocket Sponsor

We spiritually wake up to a bright shining light, delivered from past despair and darkness. We learn, through our Eleventh Step, to reach for our Higher Power and communicate at the deepest level. This becomes our shining light. In this communication (one of sharing and listening), we are guided through another day of recovery. We know that if we give our best to spirituality, His grace, love, and tolerance is given to us. But giving our best to God does not mean thinking about it, mouthing the words, or simply reading this meditation. Giving our best means asking for direction and then actually taking that direction. Giving our best is not a theory, it is an action. So we ask ourselves this question, Am I ready and willing to accept God’s illuminated path by doing the footwork? Or, am I still shining that tiny flashlight of self-will through the darkness?

God gave me self-will and I choose

to will that back to God.

And there are those who are conscious of a powerful or subtle spiritual experience. The light is let into the dark places within, and the presence of God is felt.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 59

January 13

When we do the best we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in the life of another. ∼Helen Keller

We want to learn to live our lives in such a way that when we die people will be sad, not relieved. As we practice the principles and do the next right thing, we may change lives in ways that we will never understand. We touch people without knowing who we have helped. And most of all, we help ourselves.   Many people falter because they ask, How do I know what my best is? Our answer: WWBBD. What Would Bob and Bill Do? This is a powerful question. Bob and Bill worked the 12-step A.A. program to the best of their ability on a daily basis. If we attend meetings, use a sponsor, and read our 12-step texts, we will know what they would do. If we are confused about something thrown our way then we can use this question to determine what our spiritual answer would be: WWBBD

In confusing situations, I ask myself,

What would Bill and Bob do? Then I do it.

Faith, without works, is dead. Working the Steps to the best of my ability is a major challenge.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 268

January 14

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us. ∼Hermann Hesse

Ah, yes! How many times have we come across someone who really rubs us the wrong way? We may even want to confront that person on their irritating traits—in the name of honesty, of course. Our arrogance tells us that a few well-chosen words from us will set them straight. Hopefully, we are reminded by our sponsor that we may want to discuss it with the person in the mirror before confronting the one who is rubbing us the wrong way. Frustrating as it may seem at the time, what bugs us the most in another so often is a reflection of our own stuff. Once we examine the situation more carefully inside and out (the uncomfortableness inside us triggered by traits coming out in them), we may see our own character traits getting rubbed out.

I do not worry about rubbing out their

character defects. I learn to rub out my own.

The image in the mirror slowly shakes its head. Yes, there has been change; but surely it is not enough. Surely there could be more sincerity, greater risk-taking, deeper belief, less indulgence in character defects.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 59

January 15

We can feel ourselves soften when we move our attention from self-defeating thoughts into our hearts, where love lives. ∼Ruth Fishel

Sometimes it appears as if our thoughts were on the warpath, determined to attack us as if they were attempting to win some unnamed battle. Sometimes thoughts attack us when we wake in the middle of the night, unable to fall back asleep due to the war dance going on in our head. Our thoughts attack us when we hurl retorts back and forth rehearsing imaginary battles. We think, If he says that, I’ll say this … and Next time, I’ll say this to her …. When the mind attacks our peace, a good way to defuse the energy is to focus on our hearts where love abides. Practicing this on a regular basis makes it easier to find peace when stress and conflict creep into our minds. The more often we practice the easier it becomes. Staying in negative thoughts creates unpleasant emotions. Moving into our hearts creates peace and, yes, we do deserve to feel peaceful!

When stress attacks, I become aware of my self-talk and move my focus to my heart instead.

After practicing meditation for some time, I came to the realization that my mind had begun to calm down.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 76

January 16

When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the presence of God today is the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. ∼Twenty-Four Hours a Day

As we go through the day, there are always little things reminding us of God’s presence: a bird landing on a nearby branch to sing; the contented ‘ribbit’ of a happy frog; the smile of a stranger; a delicate flower drawing our attention in an otherwise busy landscape; the smell of a grove of pine trees; the clouds against a bright blue sky drawing us away from the cares of the moment. The details we notice are an exclamation point to the wonders of God’s world. When noticing them, we acknowledge how important a divine presence is for us and we establish a conscious contact. What might we miss had we not discovered sobriety and the importance of spirituality in all that we see and do?

I establish contact with God by appreciating

the divine details of sober living.

I'm beginning to notice things that I'd never paid attention to before. I see flowers blooming, notice the change in seasons, realize that there's snow on the ground-all the things I've ignored all these years.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 211-212

January 17

Many people are walking around wounded, caught up in the past and unable to make the changes that are needed to move forward. ~Rosemarie Rosetti

Many of us could be described as the walking wounded. Our pasts hold some mighty harsh realities that can appear to be deal breakers for a happy future. Some of us have killed others accidentally or by design; we have broken the hearts of our mothers; some of us abandoned our children or abused them. We have been the curse and cause of much pain in our families, and we have used and abused those closest to us. Yet, in the Program, we hear that we will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. How can this be? We are also told that to hide our past and lock it away is self-centered and in direct conflict with our new way of living. When we work with others, we share our story with all the harsh realities that once made us the walking wounded. We are the walking warriors, using our past to save others. Let’s not regret a past that can save lives!

I do not regret my past, and thus,

I’m free to claim my future.

Some of us look on Step Four with dread, believing it to be that fateful time when we reveal all the ugliness in our past to someone else.

∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 49

January 18

Life says yes to me now. ∼Iyanla Vanzant

Eventually life says yes to all who dedicate themselves to our way of life in Chemically Dependent Anonymous. When we began this program as newcomers, the old-timers had many wise anecdotes and bits of advice for us. One of the things they told us was to imagine how good our life could ever get. Get clean and sober, they told us, and your life will get even better than what you just imagined. That might have been good enough for us, but they continued, "Stay clean and sober and it will get a hundred times better than that! But, on the other hand, the old-timer’s warned, Imagine the very worst your life could be. Start drinking and drugging again and it will get worse than that and, before long, it will get even worse than that!   Whether life says yes to us now or no" to us now is entirely based on our commitment to recovery.

My actions today define the increase

above anything I can imagine.

People who have more time in C.D.A. than I do say, Keep coming back; it keeps getting better, but I can't imagine that my life will be any better than it is now.

~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 212

January 19

Happiness is getting what we want, but success is wanting what we get. ~Ron R.

The challenge in our new way of life can be to remember that we were saved from our addictions by God and other people, not by intellect, muscle, or self-will. We are called to give back to our fellowship—not race to acquire creature comforts, status, and prestige. We must keep in mind that a symptom of our disease is one of imbalance, and that our newfound acquisitions can affect our priority system. Without the proper priorities we cannot be the successful people we have come to expect in recovery. Acquiring creature comforts and status must never take priority over our responsibilities to give back to the Fellowship. The good news is that we have a sponsor and home group that expect some accountability from us. They help keep our priorities in balance. This way, when we do get the things we want, we will not only be happy, we will be successful as well!

My recovery is God’s gift to me and

what I do with it is my gift to God.

For instance, when a relationship or a job takes top priority, we can lose focus