Discovering Nix: Discovery Series, #3

By JM Nash

With lines crossed and a friendship hanging in the balance...

As Nix and Ansley try to compromise and come to terms with their changing relationship, the reality of who they are comes full circle.

Nix loves control. He never leaves room for error, but in the midst of discovering his love for Ansley he loses control, breaking all his own rules.

Finding herself, Ansley comes face to face with the possibility that no matter how much you love someone...sometimes it isn't enough.

Together they are the perfect combination of power, control, and passion. Each wanting to be the one in control. Will they be able to find a true compromise or will they end up tearing each other apart?

• Language: English
• Publisher: JM Nash
• Release date: May 1, 2016
• ISBN: 9781533768896

Book preview

Chapter 1

June 1st

Nix

Ansley. Shhhh. I said no talking. I stalked around her, as she was strapped to St Andrew’s cross. My dick twitched with the thought of being inside her. I ran the leather crop down the center of her body and smacked the apex of her thighs hard. I watched her gasp as I raked the crop down her wet seam.

With hooded eyes she looked up me craving more... needing more.  Her juices coated the end. I smack each pink perky nipple before placing it at her lips. Suck. I demand.

Nix, dude.

The sound of an unfamiliar voice invaded my dreams.

Nix, wake up dude.

What the fuck? My eyes flew open as James stood before me. I had apparently slumped over my desk at the house falling asleep. I sat for a moment, grasping my surrounding and realizing my dick was hard, needing Ansley, except we hadn’t slept together since Florida.

I didn’t want to push. I want her to come to me on her own terms. I hate waiting. The week after we got back I had a talk with James, telling him what had happened. When we arrived home I really had thought she would move into my room. I should have known better.

Part of me was hurt and part of me angry. Not at her, but myself. Maybe she wasn’t ready. Maybe she was. Hell, I really didn’t know.

Anderson, you okay?

I scoffed and looked up at James. What do you think? I stood up making it very clear I wasn’t.

Damn. Another dream?

I nodded again.

Who was in charge this time?

I chuckled at the comment. I had told James all about how Ansley told me she was in charge, and how I about nutted at her command. He got a huge laugh at my expense, so now it was an inside joke between us.

Me, Thank God. That woman is going to be the death of me. I am trying to not force the issue, but damn. It’s been a month. I am going to Tantric tonight for a bit. I think her and Kat are going to Allure, so I will catch up with you all there.

Are you sure you want to do that? James raised an eyebrow.

We are not in a relationship. I have jacked off enough.  My hand isn’t cutting it any more. I have to do something.

Okay.

I knew James questioned everything I did now. But fuck, I wanted to fuck. I need a true release. Just don’t tell Ansley.

What? You have to get your dick wet? I’ll leave that up to you, because personally, I want my junk intact to fuck Kat.

With a wink, he left my office. I left heading up stairs to grab my stuff for tonight. I hadn’t been to the club in months. Ansley had me all jacked up after she watched Zoey and me on stage, but damn I couldn’t hold out any longer. 

As I rounded the stairs towards my room, Ansley walked out in a fuck me dress with some black heels. I stopped dead.

Damn woman.

I take it you approve?

Hell yes, I approved.  I wanted to be the one who peeled it off of her later and no one else. 

Good. You going to be at the club later? Her words brought me to a full halt. 

Yes, I have some stuff to do, but I will catch you there okay?

She smiled wide, Okay, just be careful.

I watched her disappear down the stairs and I leaned into the doorframe. The more time passed, the more I felt like she was pulling away from me. I prayed I was wrong and she was just dealing with her own feelings.  God I hope so, or I was doing to deal with my first true heart break in my life.

Chapter 2

June 2nd

Ansley

I grabbed my keys off the bar, glancing at the clock on the stove. Shit! I was already going to be late. Kat and I had dinner plans. Ever since Florida we were pretty much inseparable. 

She became my go to person and my kick ass assistant. When we arrived home the guys handed the south office over to me. They left me in charge of the marketing and advertising. It came with more craziness, but I loved every minute of it. It kept me intensely busy and unable to deal with life outside of work. Was I hiding? Was I not dealing with Nix and what happened? Yes.

I honestly didn’t know how to handle us when we got back. Kat and I had a girl’s night at her house the first weekend we got back. I was dying to get shit off my chest. Everything from his pierced dick and me taking charge to how many times. OMG! Yes, it had been years since I was able to have a heart to heart with a ‘girlfriend’.

We cried, laughed and got pretty drunk. I felt it was something I needed to do. For once, I couldn’t talk to James; he was too close to the issues. Maybe Kat was too, but she was a girl, and sometimes you just needed your bestie.

As I backed out of the garage, I waved to James who was pacing the driveway talking to someone on the phone. He waved back and shrugged his shoulders. He was so much like a brother, and we often joke openly now how we almost bumped uglies. Kat laughed so hard when we told her of the drunken night so many years ago, and also about last fall. She teased me for weeks about how I had seen her man. I told her any time she wanted she could go look at Nix. She laughed saying it wasn’t the same, because I wasn’t committed to Nix as she was to James. Her words bit into me, because I knew what she was getting at. No, maybe it wasn’t fair, but hell I hated feeling like I was damned if I did and damned if didn’t.

So I stepped back focusing solely on my work, staying late, and going in early. I didn’t ride into town with Nix or anyone. I wanted the time to collect myself. I wanted... no needed to make sure that this is the future I wanted. Once I committed to Nix that would be it. Whether or not if we ever got married, or whatever happened between us, I didn’t want to end up broken hearted. I wanted to go into this with both eyes wide open, knowing exactly what I was getting into.

I pulled into Kat’s driveway fifteen minutes late. She opened the door before I could even knock.

Damn woman. What kept you? Stepping back she allowed me to step past her. The coolness from the A/c filled the house.

Sorry, I had to find my shoe. I am not certain how one ended up in Nix’s closet but it did.

Speaking of Nix’s... how is he?

I rolled my eyes. I know she wanted more details into what I was thinking, but I didn’t know what to tell her.

Seriously, we have been home a month. Do you want a drink before we go?  She asked as she turned the corner into her small kitchen.

Nah, I am good. Are we calling a cab? Being in town at her place had its advantages.

Yes, it should be arriving in five. James is meeting us?

He’s your man. Don’t you talk to him? I smirked.

Yes, the last I heard he was. Is Nix coming? At the sound of the horn from the taxi, she picked up her handbag off the side table and I followed her out the door.

I don’t know.  I saw him for a brief moment and he said he’d talk to me later at the club, but he had some things to take care of first. So I don’t know what he had planned for the night.

I hope he shows up and gets you shit faced.

I opened the door just as she rounded to the other door. I slipped inside and giving her a what the hell look. Why?

Ansley, I love you, but seriously. You need to either shit or get off the pot. Nix loves you. Nix wants to be with you in every way.

I heard every word she said. It was like a knife being driven straight into my heart, being twisted from side to side. Didn’t she know I understood it all? Fuck! This is what I didn’t want people doing. Forcing the issues. Let me put to bed all the shit I needed to, then I could focus on Nix and I.

Kat, stop please. I needed to do this on my terms and no one else’s. She reached over and took my hand. I know she was trying to be my friend and cared for both of us.

Okay. Not another word.

The rest of the ride was ridden in silence. We had the cab drop us off at Andre’s, a wonderful Italian restaurant, a few blocks from the club. We could eat and the make our way to the club. Since the doors wouldn’t open till eight, we had a few hours until we needed to be there.

The music pumped through the speakers, I had to scream just in order for Kat to hear me. James hadn’t showed up yet, neither had Nix. The last time I had glance at my phone it was just a little after ten. I figured if they were coming they would have been here by now. I went to kick off my shoes and toss my purse and phone on Nix’s desk. I had my set of keys, so we just locked the door and I wore the key around my wrist.

This is crazy let’s go dance. I don’t think the boys are going to show.

I still haven’t heard from them. Kat’s voice nearly inaudible over the music.

I know. Oh well, their loss. It was rare they didn’t come when they knew we were going out to Allure. I personally think it had to do with they didn’t want other men hitting on us. I laughed and told Nix not to worry about that. Blaze, Mat and Dallas all made sure we were looked after. All three were badass bouncers. Dallas even made Nix look small. Sawyer and Davis, both bartenders, also watched our backs. The waitresses pretty much kept to themselves unless they had to wait on us. They treated us the way they needed to, but not over the top like the do the boys.

An hour later, we were back in the booth sipping on a mixed drink, when James, Hendrix and Nix all walked in. All three seemed to be a little lit up from drinking. Damn. Kat was right. But instead of Nix getting me all drunk it is him who showed up drunk.

As they plopped down in the booth, I heard Nix grumble something about how he needed a drink to wash the ‘Tantric Taste’ out of his mouth. My head snapped around to Kat knowing immediately what the fucker was talking about.

I wanted to vomit. Yes, I hadn’t said we were in a relationship but damn bastard. I thought I could really believe when he said there would never be anyone else. As Nix slid from the seat, I got caught of what I thought was a hickey. Really! OMG! I slammed back the watered down drink in front of me. I looked up and met his eyes, he knew I saw and winked. My blood boiled. Could he be an even bigger smug asshole?

He turned and strolled away from the table. I didn’t know if I should sit and ignore the bastard, or start a fight with him on the floor.

I don’t know who placed a shot in front of me, but I was really thankful for it. I picked it up and barely remember the taste of cinnamon as it burned on its way down. I slid from my booth and rolled my shoulders.

He’s a fucking asshole and this shit ends tonight! I reached over and stole James shot glass.

He looked at me, Kat, and then looked back to me. Alrighty then. He slurred. I didn’t even have to ask what kind of mood Kat was in. In our house, it was truly a double standard. The boys could get totally shit faced, but when we did it we got in a heap load shit trouble for it.

Ansley don’t you know you need your heels? Kat smirked. 

I knew what Kat meant. It was hard being short sometimes getting his attention, but the way my body rumbled against the anger, I didn’t need my heels on to start and finish this fight.

As I crossed the floor, he saw me before I could reach him. Part of me felt the need to just turn and walk away, but then other part said no. I need to do this.  I did a half turn and was headed back to the table when I felt it. His hand was on my arm.

Let me go.

Not until you dance with me.  He pulled me into him just as an upbeat song started playing. As the word filtered into my ears, I realized I could do this with him. I wanted to be his.

I looked up at his closed eyes. As I trailed down his body, I noticed the marks on his chest were more evident up close than in the distant before. Lipstick on his collar and the stench of her cheap ass perfume filled my nose. I felt the vomit rise in my throat. Mustering up enough strength, or more like courage, I shoved against him and broke our embrace.

He tried to grab my arms and I dodge him as I ran from the dance floor. I passed our table and kept going. I needed the safety of his office to let the tears fall, not to let anyone know.

I didn’t stop as I heard Nix hot on my heels. I knew I wouldn’t get to his office alone. I didn’t want this fight to happen like this. I didn’t want to fight with him period. I wanted to be held by him and not think, but that wasn’t going to happen.

I rounded into office and I couldn’t even shut the door behind me. Nix already had his hand on it.

Ansley, don’t fucking walk away from me. The slam of the door made me jump. I didn’t want to face him. I didn’t want to see his anger any more than I wanted to release mine.

I stood facing the wall. I felt his breath on my neck. I had to close my eyes and try to breathe, because what would come out of my mouth would be complete hate if I spoke.

He pressed my body into the wall and I knew. His cock hard, pressing into the small of my back, Ansley, is this what you want.

I didn’t move. There was no way in hell I wanted him like this. Both hate filled and seething mad. No. If we were ever together again, it wouldn’t be in some office when he was pissed off at me for being pissed off, or for being mad more at myself than him.

Ansley, I want your answer. He cupped my sex and pressed harder into my back.

Damn him.

Ansley, I am waiting. He growled out.

Something in his voice made me snap. I had enough. I was done. I shoved his hand away and flipped around to face him.

You want me to answer you asshole? You want to know what I want? I nearly spit back in his face as the words rolled off my tongue. Fine. Where the fuck do I start?

Chapter 3

When she turned to face me, the anger I saw was something I had never seen before. I broke our closeness and tried to prepare myself for whatever she was going to dish out. For some odd reason, I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty by no stretch of the imagination.

She grabbed my shirt and shoved me back away from her, but she didn’t let me go. Both of her fists clinched the front of my shirt. As her words tumbled out, it was my turn to be quiet and let her speak.

For starters... And with a single tug, she tore my shirt open. Buttons scattered on the floor. This shit... Her nail bit into my skin as she pointed to each of the marks on my chest.

I swallowed hard. I... The need to feel guilty left me. What shit? I grabbed her wrist pulling back her hand. The teeth marks and hickey bother you? Why Ansley? Tell me fucking why? I screamed back at her as I finally found my voice to be just as pissed.

When she didn’t answer I knew. Did you want to put them there? Did you want to be the one I rode tonight? Where were you then? I hated being the dickhead in all this. I loved her with everything I am and have, but she forced my hand.

Fuck you. If you want some nasty skanky white trash bitch then help yourself. I had plans tonight and I am truly sorry for ever thinking this...between you and I...could ever work, because it is pretty apparent you can’t keep your dick in your pants long enough for anyone to make life alternating choices.

I dropped my hands that I started to place on her shoulders.

That’s right pretty boy. I wanted to talk to you, but you fucked it up. She shoved at my chest, making me step back. She walked past me, picked up her heels, her clutch from the desk, and turned towards the door.

My body raging filled with hunger for her. I may have been on my way to getting punched but fuck it I didn’t care.

I stalked towards her and we both hit the door, I pressed my hand above her keeping the door closed. There was no way on earth she was going to leave this room and the only way was if I were dead.

Ansley Jane. A rumbled growl followed as I spoke her name making her pause her from turning the knob she had been tightly holding. I want you to turn around and look at me.

Her headed gave me no.

If you want to play games then so be it. I reached around her pressing my foot into the door to keep her from opening it. With my hand, I wrapped it around her mid-section and flipped her around to face me. Her face dropped trying to avoid my burning stare.  I slipped a finger under her chin drawing it up to meet my burning gaze, right before she closed her eyes.  The playboy in me left, and the man I knew best replacing him.

I brushed her lips with mine and her eyes remained close. I am not asking. This is for you. When you leave this room, you will think twice about fighting with me. I brushed her lips with my tongue and waited.

I didn’t know if she would shove me away or open as I nipped at her lower lip. I waited just moment before I started to pull her lip between my teeth, but she opened for me.

Our tongues crashed into each other. All our anger, frustration and hope unfolded as we melded into one. Her hands found their way into my hair pulling me deeper into her. A soft moan left her mouth as I pulled up her dress. I wasn’t going to fuck her. Not like this, but I wanted her to remember where I had been.  I picked her up and grinded my cock into her wet panties. I didn’t need to slide my hand down to know she was turned on. Her arousal filtered to my nose. It took everything to keep me from ripping her panties to the side and pushing into her. My cock was twitching even as I tried to keep myself in check. 

As I started to pull back, she sucked my tongue into her mouth, making me almost lose it. I slid my hand between us, still keeping the lace panties as a barrier; I pressed my thumb against her clit. She bit down on my tongue and sucked me like she did the night we were together.

As I felt myself coming close to my own release, I had to stop. I wanted to be skin to skin with her and I sure as fuck wasn’t going to fuck her on my couch. I let her legs slide down to the floor and I broke the kiss. I couldn’t look at her. She couldn’t look at me. We both knew. We were what each other needed, wanted, and we were going to fight like hell to keep us together.

As I opened the door to let her leave, she paused turning back to me and grinned. You will never kiss me again with another woman on your body. You do it again, and we will be finished.

I felt the blood rush back to my head making me dizzy. I fell to my couch. Why did I have a feeling every day of this relationship with Ansley was going to be a fight in one way or another?  Damn woman was going to death of me.

Chapter 4

I stood outside his office and bent at the knees. Fuck. I knew the moment he followed me into his office I was in deep shit. I could no longer hide the fact I wanted to be with him. When I saw the marks on his body, by the other woman, my instincts kicked in. Nix was lucky she wasn’t in the same bar.  I probably would have been jail tonight if she had been.

I knew tomorrow would bring a new day and new light to what