Leroy Memoirs of a Street Smart Dummy: Comedy On the Streets

By Leroy Longwood

Performing comedy on the streets of New York City, required a level of funny that ventriloquist Anthony Thomas and Leroy delivered for years. But it also extracted a price. Now the Dummy is telling his side of the story...In Leroy memoirs of a street smart Dummy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Jun 6, 2016
• ISBN: 9781483573168

Book preview

few.

Hello my name is Leroy

I’d like to begin my book by being totally honest…I’m a dummy.

I know this may come as a shock to some, as I have always noticed in people, a moment of reality adjustment whenever I’m introduced to an audience for the first time, and therein lies the reason for my whole existence, an audience. That is what this book is all about. It is my recollections of the many years that my showbiz partner Anthony Thomas and I spent in search of audiences, and where we always found them, on the streets of New York City. But before I take you on a giddy trip, that Ant and I took 40 years to make, I’d like to hip you to a couple of things. They say don’t judge a book by its cover but in my case you can. In case you didn’t recognize the handsome face, that’s me on the cover. What you see is what you get baby! Afro hairdo, Kangol cap, gold medallion, and a plaid jacket. I do my own thing baby, Let me assure you, I am nobody’s puppet!

And that is a fact that I hope to convince you of as we proceed through these pages. Another hip fact about yours truly is that I speak my mind. Sort of like that drunk uncle that shows up at family gatherings and can’t help but call it like he sees it. He tells his cousin in law’s wife that she’s not plump…She’s fat! In fact, she has the shape of a pumpkin!

He tells the host that their home is filthy and they should learn to clean up! And that he won’t shut up, but will fight everybody in the house! But unlike uncle no-class I am neither crass nor mean, in a word, I’m cool! But this isn’t a book about my own opinions or views written

with a punch line perhaps that will be my next book. This book is about me and Ant’s true adventures performing on the gritty, grimy, glorious streets of New York City, sometimes known as the concrete jungle.

Perhaps you’re wondering why the streets? Because I was born and bred in the hood and the vibrant city streets showcased my character like no place else. Ant and I could express ourselves best in this environment because we were a representative part of the streets of New York City. And because the city was alive, ever moving, and always available. There was certainly a method to our madness. The streets provided us with an enormous amount of freedom, challenge, change, fun, realism, and the sweet rush of it all. To Ant and I, it was absolutely exhilarating! Street performing became our passion and focus for many years. Perhaps we became addicted to the city and just couldn’t get enough. Sort of like Adam in the garden of Eden, one bite and, well…the rest is history. Maybe that’s why they call it the Big Apple!

In telling my story, I left out the drug addiction, the getting shot at and stabbed by a crazy lover, the gang affiliations and escaping from cops over roof tops and trash strewn alleyways. I also left out Ants stay at two mental institutions and his constant bouts with multiple

personality disorder. Because none of that happened. Nothing in my book is made up or imagined. My life has been interesting enough. I mean how many of you have ever sat on a man’s knee and told jokes, or rode around locked in a suitcase for days on end, spent a night in a bus terminal locker, or repaired a chip on your nose with wood putty?

During the time that Ant and I were Street performing, I didn’t look at it as creating our legacy, or as a spectacular game changer in the world of entertainment, but in hindsight, it was something magical. It may not rank with the first landing on the moon and stuff like that, but in the words of my man, Hip Harry it’s up there!

This isn’t a book about an entertainer who, after paying his dues, made it big in showbiz, made a million dollars, bought a mansion and lived happily ever after. This is the other side of that story. It’s about being a performer on your own terms. it’s comedy on the streets. Thousands of shows, over 30 years of concrete hustle, miles of New York City street corners, parks, subways and countless audiences. It’s about the fun, the people, the laughter, the struggles, and staying true to your craft no matter what. My name is Leroy…And this is my story.

I’m Not Your Mama’s Doll

Her doll can crawl and it can weep,

But did your Mama’s doll grow up on the street?

No gift-wrapped box sitting under a Christmas tree,

Just a solid sturdy suitcase, was good enough for me.

While your mama and her doll were in the kitchen, sipping a cup of tea,

I was hustling on a street corner, with a man named Anthony.

I’m not the kind of doll that you give a bubble bath.

The only time I get my kicks, is when I make the people laugh.

Your Mama’s doll brings joy I’m sure to one and perhaps a few,

While I brought laughter to a crowd that by the minute grew.

While Mama’s doll was hanging out on a puffy comfy sleigh bed,

I was joking on a concrete corner trying to keep my homeboy fed.

I’m not a Raggedy Ann or Barbie doll, a Suzzie Q or Sheena Smile.

I can’t be bought or sold.

I’m in your face, I don’t wear lace, I’m big, I’m bad, I’m bold!

So reminisce all you want about Frizzy Frills and Pigtails, but this I guarantee,

That Doll, with which you’re Mama played…is definitely not Me!

How I all started

New York City 1973. Ant was in his high school library, browsing the books. Drawn to the arts, he happened upon a book on ventriloquism, and as they say in doll making, the mold was cast. The next thing you know he became, what can only be described as…Ventrilocrazy! Trekking all over the city, desperately looking for more information on the subject. Searching libraries, bookstores, magic shops, junk stores and grocery stores. Hey, you never know what you might find in Roberto’s Bodega, in the Bronx. I mean beside the prayer candles with the scary pictures on the cup and the non-labeled pickled pig’s feet in a jar, you just might find a book on Ventriloquism…right?

But at least he had the initial book that he had found in the school library and it became worn from use during his many practice sessions. Day and night he would sit in front of the mirror attempting to say the alphabet without moving his lips. Ant’s first attempts at making his own dummy were disastrous. It was a cold winter and there he was, in his bedroom, up half the night like Dr. Frankenstein, mixing a mushy concoction of flour, water, newspaper and glue, in pursuit of a papier-mâché mixture. He modeled the Doll’s head out of this soggy gunk and placed it on a hissing radiator to dry. Horrified when he turned on the lights, to find a band of roaches scurrying away from the delectable meal he had unwittingly left them.

His next attempt a-la-papier-mâché was no better than the first. What he finally made out of the lumpy low-cost goop, was the most horrifying hideous looking doll on the planet. Not only wasn’t it funny, but people were actually scared of it. Somehow, he