The Building Of a Confident Teen: Your Future Starts Now
By Gregg Michaelsen and Kirbie Earley
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About this ebook
The Building Of a Confident Teen
Are you a teen girl struggling to find your identity? Are the pressures of growing up mounting? Wouldn't it be cool if someone powerful could step into your life right now, throw caution to the wind, and make a major impact on your happiness, confidence, and future?
Hi I'm Gregg and I have sold more than 100,000 books for women. I am a top life and dating coach in Boston.
But I did not write this book!
What? Why? My fellow coach Kirbie has written this book because I wanted to give you some insight from a successful woman with kids who went through all the struggles you are going through. She can now look back and see what she could have done better had she had the tools you are about to learn. This journey you are about to take will make all the difference in the world to your self-esteem.
This will change everything you do on a daily basis. We are here to mentor you through your teen age years.
Come and Explore With Us:
Learn about what's happening to your body
Understand self esteem and why yours is where it is today
Crack the code to what your peers are truly thinking and why it doesn't matter
Discover what stress is and what it's doing to your body
Unveil the nine levels of intelligence - figure out which ones you're best in
That's just the tip of the iceberg! Hit the buy now button right now in the upper right corner and change your life! This book is cheaper than a small cup of soda and more powerful than a locomotive!
The Building Of a Confident Teen provides young women with a new identity, a new confidence, a new sense of what is going on around them and a new ability to walk confidently in hallways which once were dreaded. Teens who follow this program, beginning to end, will find themselves spending less time worrying and more time enjoying the best years of their lives!
Then the Magic Happens:
You will learn to treat yourself well
You will find the areas in which you excel and understand how to exploit them
You will discover your passions and begin to pursue them
You will recognize and reward yourself when you've done something great (and you will be doing something great everyday!)
You will discover who your true friends are and dump the rest!
You will start making your own decisions and taking responsibility for your actions
And SO MUCH more!
I have seen the carnage that teen years has done to people! I realized last year if I can work with teens and stop the damage that is being done, I can reverse the hurt and pain which continues to build if no help comes. I can help teens develop into motivated, goal attaining, machines! So pick up a copy of "The Building Of a Confident Teen" and you will never look back!
Read this book on your own, or grab Mom and Dad and lets do it together - either way, let's start changing YOUR life today!
About The Co-Author
I’m Gregg Michaelsen. I am a top life/dating coach in Boston, Massachusetts and I work with people to help them build their confidence and self-esteem. I see many of the issues addressed in this book in my adult clients, but I know these things can be fixed when you are teen. This sets you up for a much happier life and greater success as you move into adulthood and make important life choices. Girls, please read my best seller Winning The Game Of Teen Life and #1 best seller To Date a Man You Must Understand Yourself. Young men, please read The Building of a Confident Man and Winning The Game Of Teen Life.
Gregg Michaelsen
Gregg rules the dating advice genre having sold a quarter million books. He is a multiple #1 best-selling author, dating coach, and life coach. Being both gives him an incredible advantage over his competitors. He helps women (and men) succeed in both their dating and everyday lives. He encourages his readers to contact him through his books and get answers for free.Gregg’s motto? Build Yourself and He Will Come.When not answering emails from his readers, Gregg loves jetsking, surfing, hanging out under the palm trees in West Palm, and calling his Mom at 5 am. His Dad was a life coach, before they were even popular, and coached Gregg.Gregg just completed a video shoot with world renowned dating/relationship expert Dr. Helen Fisher in NYC. He credits his three older sisters as the reason why he understands women so well. He gives to The Wounded Warrior Project and animal shelters.Gregg is currently working on his latest book that helps women truly understand men so they can acquire what they want by communicating in a language that men understand. Exciting stuff!Visit Gregg at WhoHoldsTheCardsNow.com and become a believer, thousands have.
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The Building Of a Confident Teen - Gregg Michaelsen
PART I:
Introduction to Self Esteem
Let’s Define Self-Esteem
In the easiest terms, self-esteem is the collection of thoughts and feelings you have about yourself. This means if you think you’re a loser who doesn’t deserve air to breathe, your self-esteem is relatively low. If you think you can do no wrong and everyone should bow to you, your self-esteem is also relatively low.
Wait. What?
Yes. It’s true. When you think so highly of yourself that you believe everyone is at your mercy, you have low self-esteem. Truly healthy self-esteem lives in people who know they aren’t perfect, but they are happy with who they are. I coach women on confidence and self-esteem and I always begin by asking where they believe their self-esteem is. They’re usually wrong. Sometimes they believe it is lower than it is, and sometimes they think it’s higher. We can’t really gauge our own level accurately.
When you have healthy self-esteem, you believe in yourself. You believe you can do anything you set your mind to. You understand you have limitations, but so does everyone. You believe you can overcome them with effort and hard work. When your self-esteem is in good shape, you are resilient. You have the ability to deal with the curveballs life throws you and bounce back from disappointment without any major damage.
When you have low self-esteem, you don’t trust in your ability to do anything new, risky or difficult. You don’t believe you are capable of making choices or decisions. You beat yourself up every time you make even the smallest mistake. You think you can’t do much of anything right and you don’t know why the one or two people who do call themselves your friends actually are your friends.
A person with low self-esteem tries to exist in the smallest way possible. You probably use your hair, a hat or hoodie to cover your face, or at least your eyes. When you walk, you spend more time looking at the floor than you do looking at the people walking toward you. You try to avoid making eye contact with anyone. You probably dress in drab, colorless clothing, grays and blacks dominate your wardrobe. You don’t raise your hand in class; in fact, you probably sit where you hope nobody will notice you at all. It also shows up in how you talk to yourself. You put yourself down and speak negatively about yourself. You may find yourself apologizing a lot and not really knowing why.
When you have low self-esteem, you may crave physical contact and be sexually active much too early in your life. Alternatively, you may not want anyone to touch you because it scares the heck out of you. You may be loud with your voice, overly aggressive, or use big gestures like waving your arms in the air in a big way.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, you should know you are not alone. According to a survey of high school students, 95% of teens feel inferior at some point and 45.5% of those teens say they normally have low self-esteem.
You may be wondering why you should care about your self-esteem. I personally never gave mine much of a thought until much later in my life. I can tell you, you don’t want to live this way! Self-esteem impacts every area of your life, whether yours is too low or too high. Right now, your life seems to be only about today, but tomorrow is just around the corner.
Your self-esteem affects your relationships, including the relationship you have with yourself. You may think this doesn’t matter. Why should you care about relationships? Relationships are part of every area of your life - home, school, friends, family, and work. You may think you don’t need to build relationships, but that isn’t how life works. You cannot exist in a vacuum where you are the only person. Life is about interacting with people. You need those interactions. You need to interact with teachers at school so you can do your work, ask questions, turn in assignments and seek help when you need it. You also need to have a few friendships. Friends help you when you need someone to talk to. Friends help you figure out the stuff you’re going through as a teen. Friends help you stand up to bullies and study for tests.
Others may be making fun of you, but they are doing this because they, too, lack self-esteem. They do it to feel powerful and in control. Power gives people a false sense of being in control. It is important for you to know why they choose to act the way they do, whether they bully you, act superior or are just mean in general. When you understand their need for control and power, you can more easily walk away, and walking away removes their power and places it in your hands!
Low self-esteem sometimes leads you to put others down with name calling, teasing or gossiping. You become the bully and when you treat someone badly, even though it may feel good for a few minutes, ultimately you will feel guilty about what you did. Unfortunately, you can’t take it back. Behaving in this way smashes any chance you have of building good, true relationships with anyone.
I know what you’re thinking. You think you can just exist in your room by yourself. It doesn’t matter if you have low self-esteem if you do that. You may believe you can ignore what others say about you with an I don’t care
attitude. Let’s be real. You do care. Saying you don’t care is a defense mechanism you have developed to protect yourself from being hurt. You care, and you know you care.
I grew up in a small town. I was always sad that my kids didn’t get to grow up like I did. My mother didn’t have to worry about someone kidnapping me when I was out with my friends. We roamed the neighborhood, and really the entire city, all day and until dark. This didn’t mean I wasn’t accountable for where I was. She knew what I was doing and where I planned to be.
My small town was like many; everyone knew everyone and everyone knew everyone’s business. If someone got into trouble, everyone knew. If someone got a promotion at work, everyone knew. It didn’t matter what the news was, it spread like wildfire.
I had many friends when I lived there. I had a boyfriend and a group of friends who all hung out together at lunch, after school, at dances, and sometimes at movies. We didn’t really have a mall. We moved in August, right before I started high school, to a town about 2-1/2 hours northwest. I had no friends, no other family there. Just me, my brothers and my parents.
This made my freshman year very frightening. To go into high school knowing nobody is terrifying. My self-esteem, which had been pretty normal, was in the tank. I had none. I did make a few friends that year when I discovered a girl who once lived in my small town, but that only lasted my freshman year. Later, I did meet some neighborhood kids, but by then, the damage was done. I didn’t get my self-esteem back until I was well into my 30s. It is my hope you will get yours back now, rather than spend that many years miserable, as I did.
You Care What Others Think
As human beings, we are naturally concerned with what other people think about us, especially in today’s culture where anything and everything ends up on the Internet. This is particularly true of teenagers, who spend a lot of time checking social media. You want to make sure you look your best, say all of the right things, hang out with the right people, go to the right parties and sports events and get the right grades.
The teenage years are particularly cruel, but they are really just a launching point for adulthood and more of the same. I wish I could tell