To Hell with the Diet: A Feast of Quotations for the Guilty Epicurean
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To Hell with the Diet - Aubrey Malone
Contents
1
Why You Shouldn’t Diet
Don’t diet – all you’ll lose is your sanity.
John Candy
Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it. The bigger we are, the more space we’ll take up and the more we’ll have to be reckoned with.
Roseanne
Don’t ever forget: 75 per cent of the word ‘diet’ is ‘die’.
Ruth Bryant
The whole of nature is a conjugation of the verb ‘to eat’.
William Inge
We’re not designed to ingest 150 different varieties of vitamins each day, to wear down our knee joints by jogging miles and miles each week, to get up at the crack of dawn to do our keep fit exercises, to conquer the corporate Mount Everest at breakfast time, to notch up more sexual conquests than Don Juan during his prime. Does that symbol of all we hold dear, the British bulldog, worry about additives in its food, impressing its neighbours, making friends and influencing people? No, it just wants a warm home, a generous provider and to be left to its own devices between meals.
Rosemary Barr
It took a lot of willpower but I finally gave up trying to diet.
Louis Safian
No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.
George Bernard Shaw
Fat people don’t seem to age as much as thin ones, not when you get up close and inspect the damage.
Hunter Davies
Fat generally tends to make a man a better husband. His wife is happy in the knowledge she’s not married to a woman-chaser. Few fat men chase girls because they get winded so easily.
Hal Boyle
Dieting can’t work. The pleasant habits of eating and drinking were never meant to be subject to a chemical equation.
Lord Horder
I need starch and sweets and alcohol because I enjoy them. I’m damned if I’m going to upset my metabolism and thereby my happiness by straining after a youthful line. If my nerves are cosily enclosed in enough fatty tissue to keep them from twitching, the people near me are also more likely to be happy. I would really rather be fat than disagreeable.
Noel Coward
Man’s chief difference from brutes lies in the exuberant excess of his subjective propensities. Prune his extravagance, sober him and you undo him.
William James
The worst thing about most diets is that they lower the amount of food you’re supposed to ingest.
Robert Morley
I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.
Johnny Carson
I don’t want my girl to be so skinny she can knife me with her knee.
Mark Twain
Get some food into this man.
You can’t lead a country at 176 pounds.
Marlon Brando on John F. Kennedy after they both weighed themselves together; Brando came in at 187 pounds
Today’s beauty ideal, strictly enforced by the media, is a person with the same level of body fat as a paperclip. By such standards, Marilyn Monroe was an oil tanker.
Dave Barry
It seems the only way to have a healthy life nowadays is not to eat. Starve to death. At least when you’re dying you’ll know it isn’t of anything serious.
Dave Allen
Thin people are beautiful but fat ones are adorable.
Jackie Gleason
To ask women to become unnaturally thin is to ask them to relinquish their sexuality.
Naomi Wolf
There are now more overweight people in America than average weight people, so overweight people are now average.
Jay Leno
There was only one occasion in my life when I put myself on a strict diet and I can tell