The Guru Question: The Perils and Rewards of Choosing a Spiritual Teacher

By Mariana Caplan

The spiritual journey is perhaps the most personal experience of our lives—but does that mean we have to go it alone? With The Guru Question, award-winning author Mariana Caplan brings you a unique and much-needed guide for deciding whether you need a dedicated mentor to help illuminate your path to awakening—and if so, how to navigate the deep complexities of the guru-disciple relationship.

For those seeking a teacher worthy of their trust and devotion, or anyone who has been frustrated by their experiences with a spiritual teacher, Caplan offers a candid, practical, and daringly personal examination of the student-teacher dynamic, including:

• Are you ready to be a student? If and when you should consider making a commitment to a spiritual teacher
• The path of the conscious learner—how to retain your power and autonomy while accepting a mentor's authority
• Tips for the wounded seeker—the valuable lessons we learn from our encounters with false teachers
• Spiritual scandals and predatory gurus—guidance for avoiding the inherent pitfalls in the student-teacher relationship
• How to recognize the inner light of divinity as it manifests in the imperfect human guise of your teacher—and yourself

In a time when a distrust of authority has been proven to be a healthy trait, we tend to be justifiably suspicious of those who present themselves as gurus and spiritual masters. Drawing upon her knowledge as both a scholar of mysticism and lifelong practitioner of spiritual traditions, Mariana Caplan helps readers develop the discernment that is crucial when seeking an authentic teacher—and reveals the immeasurable rewards that can come from having a trustworthy guide on the spiritual path.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sounds True
• Release date: Jun 1, 2011
• ISBN: 9781604074642

Mariana Caplan

Mariana Caplan   Mariana Caplan, PhD, MFT, E-RTY 500, is a psychotherapist, yoga teacher, and author of eight books in the fields of psychology, spirituality, and yoga. She has been teaching workshops and trainings online, in yoga studios and universities, and at major retreat centers throughout the world since 1997. She is the founder of Yoga & Psyche International, an organization created to integrate the fields of yoga and psychology globally, and lives in Fairfax, California. Learn more at realspirituality.com and yogaandpsyche.com.

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MATERIAL

Praise for The Guru Question

"The Guru Question is a very important, perhaps definitive, examination of this fundamental question, open to professional and layperson alike. The book manages to cover virtually every aspect of this incredibly important and timely topic, and does so in an elegant, comprehensive, and succinct fashion. I think it amounts to something like the final word on the topic (or very close to it). Highly recommended for anybody on a spiritual path or considering one!"

—Ken Wilber, author of Integral Spirituality

Mariana Caplan’s book is the most comprehensive, lucid, well-argued, utterly straightforward, and honest work on the guru question that there is. She unapologetically tackles the most difficult, nitty-gritty issues without hedging, flinching, or smoothing over any of the rough edges. This book is a must read for any serious spiritual seeker, as well as for anyone who wants to understand what the relation to a spiritual master is all about.

—John Welwood, author of Toward a Psychology of Awakening

"Mariana Caplan’s The Guru Question addresses this question better than any book I’ve read. If you are curious about the subtle gifts and traps of the student-teacher relationship, or if you are interested in authenticating mature heart-devotion rather than following your unresolved childhood hope for love down the wrong road, then read this book."

—David Deida, author of Finding God Through Sex

Mariana Caplan has written a powerful book about the guru-disciple relationship. Here Mariana balances her recognition of the depth and sacredness of the relationship between a true teacher and a true disciple, with her recognition of the pitfalls that can arise when we seek from another human being the redemption that can only come from within. Writing from her direct experience with her own teachers, and drawing on the experience of others, she illuminates the mystery of the guru in a way that should be of benefit to many readers.

—Sally Kempton, author of Meditation for the Love of It

"The best disciple is one who is prepared. Mariana Caplan astutely and sensitively explains what this means. I strongly recommend The Guru Question."

—Georg Feuerstein, PhD, author of The Encyclopedia of Yoga and Tantra

An honest, well-researched, and informative guide to this much misunderstood and yet important spiritual topic. A clear, insightful, and at times humorous look at the drama of the student-teacher relationship.

—Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee, Sufi teacher and author of Sufism: The Transformation of the Heart

The rising of spiritual aspirations in the West, where the values of ‘having’ have smothered those of ‘being,’ is a source of hope for the future of humankind. However, the interest in traditional teachings transmitted by masters to their disciples is developing in a context of confusion, misunderstanding, if not of scandals. And what was a promise of peace becomes a source of suffering. Many spiritual seekers think it is their right to meet a guru, and even an outstanding guru, without ever asking themselves: ‘Who am I as a disciple to have such a claim?’ Mariana Caplan explores the essential matter through her own experience and throws precious light on this theme. It pays homage to the truth, the truth being always greater than any illusions.

–Arnaud Desjardins, author of Toward the Fullness of Life

Essential reading for those on the spiritual path, and for those who want to see effective spiritual paths developed in our culture.

–Charles Tart, author of Waking Up

Also by Mariana Caplan

Eyes Wide Open: Cultivating Discernment on the Spiritual Path

Halfway Up the Mountain:

The Error of Premature Claims to Enlightenment

To Touch Is to Live:

The Need for Genuine Affection in an Impersonal World

The Way of Failure: Winning Through Losing

When Sons and Daughters Choose Alternative Lifestyles

Information for all books can be found at realspirituality.com and centerforworldspirituality.com

With greatest reverence,

I offer the fruits of this book in honor of my beloved teacher,

Lee Lozowick (November 18, 1943–November 16, 2010),

and to the loves of my life,

Marc Gafni and baby Zion Lee Caplan-Gafni

If you do not have the being of a disciple,how can you hope to find a guru?

—ARNAUD DESJARDINS

FOREWORD

When an early version of Mariana Caplan’s brilliant new book, The Guru Question, arrived in my inbox and I was asked to write a foreword, I spent quite a few days of wonder and delight with this book and its subject matter before putting pen to paper. This amazing book contains many lifetimes of concentrated wisdom and honesty and is a vivid narrative of an inspiring spiritual journey. It offers profound advice for seekers on the journey of self-transformation, and most important, this book burns with a devotion and love for the true guru born of unitive but also nondual realization. Traveling with Mariana on her adventures, and following her experiences and points of discernment concerning bad and good gurus, is an enlightening experience. (The author and I have never met personally, but I hope to be pardoned for use of her first name, having traveled with her in this book through her many trials and triumphs.)

Mariana’s great journey of self-transformation and the deep relationship between teacher and student moves me to tell a brief story of my first encounter with my own root guru (or Lama).

When I first met this Mongolian lama, I didn’t recognize him. I thought he was the butler of some big-shot guru because we met in the back room of a small, pink, New Jersey tract house that served as a monastery.

Arriving at the front gate after quite a search through a dusty suburb, I felt tremendous energy in the building and feared even to enter. My stomach was filled with butterflies; my legs wobbled. A small gentleman with short-cropped gray hair who wore a brown, kimono-like Tibetan chuba, entered the living room-cum-shrine room and asked my friend Chris and me our business. This modest man did not seem to be the source of the monastery’s energy.

Chris and I were seated in a row of chairs; the gentleman sat on the other side of my friend and asked him what we wanted at his monastery. Chris had little to say, as he was mainly driving me from New York City. I, however, was on a guru quest that had already taken me through the Middle East to India and back. We’d heard of this Tibetan monastery in New Jersey, and Chris had a car. I was back in the States for a family event, and my full intention was to return to India to study with a Tibetan teacher.

Then the lama—Geshe Wangyal, to mention his name with respect—moved across the room to another row of chairs facing me. He seemed to expand in size, and then he asked me why I had come. To my amazement, I was utterly tongue-tied. Across the globe—in Greek monasteries, dervish tekke, mosques, and Hindu and Tibetan temples—I had explained my quest for enlightenment teachings in various languages and through gestures. Now, in this modest pink house, before this compact Mongolian lama who wore no lama’s robe, I could say nothing.

Eventually I stammered that I was seeking higher consciousness and enlightenment. Laughing, he said, "That would be too difficult for either of us, since you were obviously unable to tread the path from New York to New Jersey on your own without getting into trouble. (I was dressed as an Asian fakir pilgrim with baggy Afghan pants and a sheepskin jacket. I had long hair, a scraggly beard, and a black patch covering my empty, left eye socket.) I have a long way to go in that direction myself, he continued. The path to enlightenment is far more difficult than the road to New Jersey!

After dashing all my hopes for high teachings, he relented and pointed to the stack of Tibetan loose-leaf and cloth-bound texts neatly arranged next to the Buddha statue at the chapel end of the room. Maybe you should try to learn the Tibetan language, he said. Everything that has helped my life I learned in those books. Maybe you can find something in them about the ‘higher self’ if you learn to read them.

He asked me about my family, my studies, and why I was dressed so strangely (these were pre-hippie times). Then, the young lamas of the monastery brought in tea and a piece of Sara Lee blueberry pie. Just as Chris and I were about to leave, the Lama said, I could help with your study of Tibetan in exchange for your giving these young lamas English lessons. Perhaps when you return from your travels in India.

As Chris and I walked across the lawn to the car, I turned to him and said, I am going home, cutting my hair and beard, getting some regular clothes, and coming back here in two days. That man is my teacher!

Why on earth are you doing that? Chris said. You’re soon leaving for India, aren’t you? What about your job at the young lama’s school over there in the mountains?

I will resign that job and stay here. The Geshe here is my real teacher. I can trust him totally.

How can you know that?

Because he’s just not there, came out of my mouth, I knew not why.

It took me years to understand what I had just said. I’m not even sure I fully understand now, forty-nine years later. Out of the mouths of babes surely applies. I had visited more than a dozen important and recognized gurus from four major religious traditions, spent time in their presence, and had wonderful experiences with most of them. Yet events at their centers seemed always to revolve around them. They were full of wisdom—some even full of light—all quite kind and hospitable, full of dignity, and surrounded by devoted followers. This little gentleman—the Mongolian (not even Tibetan!) geshe in the kimono—was calm, kind, peaceful, and matter of fact. There was a lot of energy around him, definitely, yet he did not present himself as its source. This made me feel a heightened sense of myself—an awareness of my own presence, with its worries and its concerns. Perhaps that’s why I was tongue-tied at first. I felt I could trust him because he did not have any use for me, any agenda for me to execute. He completely declined the guru role. At the last minute, almost as an afterthought and to console me for my disappointment, he offered a limited way to engage in the exchange of language teaching, but only at my persisting. But his calm center had no agenda, no role for me to play. He was free to serve my needs, as it seemed to me.

As it turned out, the Lama was my root teacher of Buddha Dharma for the next twenty-one years until his death—although the actual time we spent together was not that long: a year and a half at the beginning, and then a few months, weeks, or visits here and there over the years. Throughout all that time, he never claimed to be my spiritual teacher, guru, or mentor, but preferred that I consider him a spiritual friend. He eventually introduced me to the elder teachers of His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who became important lamas for me, and His Holiness himself, who upon the death of the elder generation became for me a kind of quintessential concentrate of all of them.

I have served thousands of students as an academic teacher, and sometimes as a spiritual friend; over the years, many have asked me about finding themselves a guru or spiritual teacher, and I have always declined to name specific names. I gave them a rule of thumb: "When you meet a potential guru or mentor, if that person tells you that he or she has the answers you need—that you can get it all from them, sort of one-stop shopping—thank that person very politely, extricate yourself, and avoid him or her in the future. When a mentor freely teaches in response to serious request, but also encourages you to seek other teachers and teachings, then she or he may be safe to work with. But even then, observe that person’s students or disciples. If they become more dependent the longer they have been with the teacher, that’s a bad sign. If the teacher constantly pushes them to stand on their own two feet as much as possible, that’s a good sign.

I tell this story as an offering to Mariana, who speaks so brilliantly of aligning with a guru and conscious discipleship, and who offers many incisive points of discernment to enable seekers to decide whether they need to work with a guru, how to tell which guru is good for them, and how to develop the proper attitude toward the process. Her experience and insight are immensely valuable for the seeker—and whoever is not a seeker will not be likely to read this book, even though it also contains Mariana’s remarkable personal saga, which she skillfully uses to illustrate her various concerns. She does this with knowledge and courage, since she is critically aware that the guru is nowadays a misunderstood concept and that the practice of guru yoga is much maligned by us self-styled, individualistic Americans. We are much more conformist and childishly authoritarian in personality than we like to think.

In the Buddhist tradition, perhaps more than in some others, the autonomy of the seeker, student, or disciple is stressed. Counter to the patriarchal patterns of Indian culture, Buddhism emphasizes that the spiritual teacher is more like a friend than a parent. In the early stages of study and practice, kaly amitra (or geshe in Tibetan) means virtue friend and defines the teacher role for exoteric practice in order to emphasize that the student must be responsible for her- or himself in the process of transformative study, practice, and realization.

However, in the advanced stages of such study and practice, when one enters the ocean of the Tantras, the usually esoteric depths of transformation, the rigid boundaries of self and other begin to be dissolved by the penetrating realization of critical wisdom, and universal compassion mandates the great adventure of transforming the unconscious, the body, as well as the mind. At that point, formal initiations are involved and the most profound kind of guru relationship becomes important. Then it is crucially important. To travel these profound and far-reaching paths, there is no question of proceeding without a fully qualified guru; the blessings and knowledge of such a guru are essential to enable the practitioner to gain real attainments quickly and easily—and there is also a great danger of being misled or abused by an unqualified pretender guru.

The lessons contained in this record of Mariana’s odyssey, and the understandings she has gained along her way, are of immense spiritual and practical value. Mariana’s pivotal discovery of her own root guru, Shree Lee Lozowick, and her grand-guru, Shree Ramsuratkumar of Tiruvannamalai, reminds me very much of the tales of encounters between ancient Indian Great Adepts (mahasiddha). Though Mariana’s tradition is the sublime nondual Vedanta of the Hindus, the implementations she recounts seem utterly Tantric under the surface, which is just as it should be, and Hindu and Buddhist have very little meaning at this level.

The relationship with a guru—a spiritual mentor, a master teacher—is the most important relationship in the life of a seeker of truth, as important or maybe even more important than one’s relationship with mother and father. To enter seriously on an advanced path of spiritual transformation is to be born again in the very deepest sense, and the guru is the mother and father of that rebirth. Thus, in the Indo-Tibetan tradition it is said that the guru should examine the disciple for twelve years before accepting her or him as a spiritual child, and the disciple likewise should observe the guru for twelve years before choosing her or him as a guru. (One sometimes wonders how long-lived both of them would have to be!)

As I read along, I was glad that Mariana is so vividly aware of the difficulties in finding a good spiritual teacher. She writes, The search for a spiritual teacher, as problematic as it is, is in many cases vital. So many pretenders to enlightenment are trapped in what the Zen tradition calls the demon ghost cave: of thinking they themselves are enlightened, hence beyond ethics. I also like how Mariana points out that those who are abused in bad gurudisciple relationships have their own responsibility for becoming victims; they are often caught by the abuser due to some unexamined neurosis arising from their own psychological imbalances, upbringing, and a loveless culture. She argues well, illustrating from her own escapades how basic psychological sanity is a precursor to a successful spiritual quest with the aid of a good guru.

In her own first meeting with her own root guru, Lee Lozowick, Mariana honestly recounts an incident that seems to contradict much of what she states earlier about the good teacher, caring, responsibility, integrity, and so on. She writes about her ego being destroyed by the powerful critique of the teacher. She tells how other students gather later on and tell her they thought the teacher was too harsh with her. They offer her their support. She declines because she somehow intuitively knows that he criticized her out of love and not out of a desire to dominate. I find her assurance believable, and I admire the teacher’s candor and courage, but I worry about the incident in other cases, when conscious discipleship isn’t at play, and so feel I must underline the fact that all the truly abusive teachers invariably justify their abusiveness by saying they are doing so in order to destroy the ego attachments of the abused disciple.

It is like the crazy wisdom idea, which Mariana also handles very well, pirouetting bravely and gracefully on some very slick thin ice. There certainly is such a thing in the tradition as the crazy wisdom discipline (unmattavrata). We can see it in the behavior of some Zen masters and some of the Great Adepts of Tantric India, whether Buddhist or Hindu, or later Sufi or Sikh. But the adepts and masters rarely have full biographies. We can read in the records only the accounts of some singular moments of spiritual transmission that may have been highly unorthodox or that may have broken ethical rules and appear downright harmful, yet these methods worked wonders in liberating the disciples for whom they were intended.

When we occasionally have a fuller biography, as in the case of the great Tibetan yogi Milarepa, we see that these Adept Gurus are usually kind, easy-going, generous, and ethical. Only as an exception, in special circumstances, do they break the rules. If someone is invariably crazy, then it is not exceptional, and then there is only the finest of lines between creative craziness and abusiveness. I doff my hat to Mariana for her sage advice about how to adopt a discerning awareness about whether a crazy-wisdom guru’s use of sex, money, or intoxicants is helpful or harmful.

Following the book’s main chapters, Mariana includes an extremely worthwhile epilogue. She dissects the process of assault on gurus who are perceived to have behaved badly, using the particular case of the false defamation of her own spiritual partner, in which jealousy and neurosis drives rival rabbis and former associates to team up to destroy the reputation of a worthy, devoted rabbi/guru. At first, I wondered if this discussion was necessary—whether it detracted from the rest of the marvelous work itself. But the tale, her analysis, and her cautionary points of discernment about how accusers and accused should handle themselves becomes fascinating and very worthwhile—an example of Mariana’s own burning faithfulness and courageous honesty, holding nothing back.

After this breathtaking, instructive account, Mariana includes a set of interviews with thirteen great spiritual teachers, which shows the author’s openness to disagreement and her continuing curiosity and investigative bent. These interviews create a sort of Greek chorus that rounds out her saga. These added treasures give the book a greater weight and value as a trusted advisor and companion—a kind of manual for the serious business of conscious discipleship.

Let me conclude by quoting one of my favorite paragraphs, in which Mariana discusses the Magnificent Teaching of Nonduality that underlies all the interpersonal and spiritual advice she so eloquently dispenses:

In many forms of psychological work, we project onto the therapist those qualities of our psyches that we have disavowed because our conditioning and wounding have limited our range of mental and emotional experience and expansion. As therapy progresses, healing occurs through reclaiming the disowned aspects of ourselves. The student-teacher relationship works in a parallel manner, albeit on a different level: we project onto the teacher our highest Self, eventually (ideally) coming to embrace this full possibility for ourselves. In the student-teacher relationship, the teacher ideally is in essence that which we project onto him or her as well as an ordinary human being. In fact, we may only come to consciously perceive such a vast possibility for ourselves by seeing it lived through another.

***

When a Tantric guru performs unexcelled yoga initiations, she or he must be perceived as one with the divine form of enlightened being to whom the disciple is being introduced. But the disciple is not simply installed at the door of the mandala palace, gazing in awe and devotion at the guru/deity in the center. The point of the initiation is when the disciple is led into the center herself or himself, and her or his oneness with the chosen divinity (ishtadevata) is opened as a possibility and celebrated as a reality, only veiled by the unfolding time of the performing practice (sadhana).

Right after this revelation of the absolute nonduality that is the heart of the guru, Mariana sings the key role of the disciple’s love for the all-too-human manifestation of the guru, balancing the impersonal absoluteness of the guru as the indivisible Self with the personal unique and even quirky human vessel. A wonderful reconciliation of dichotomies! Not that the dichotomy of the nondual and the dual is laid to rest—rather it is anchored by wisdom to securely kindle the fire of compassion and love, the will for the freedom and happiness of the Beloved, who turns out to be none other than all conscious beings.

Mariana expresses most passionately and beautifully this love for the guru and for his human presence in all beings.

I once believed that I would gain something from spiritual life, that enlightenment would be mine if I played my cards well. My teacher taught me that spiritual life is about giving instead of getting. I thought there was something in it for me, but in spite of myself I have learned that it is only about Love, and that Love is about God, and that relationship to God is about ceaseless praise of the One in the form of service to the many.

***

I need quote no more from Mariana Caplan’s pearls of cool wisdom and gems of fiery commitment to the well-being of the sincere conscious disciple. You yourself can now enjoy this fabulous feast of generous wisdom for the discerning intellect and honest love for the true heart.

Namo gurubhyo! Sarvamangalam!

—Robert A.F. Thurman, aka Upasaka Tenzin Dharmakirti

Jey Tsong Khapa Professor of Indo-Tibetan Buddhist Studies,

Columbia University

President, Tibet House, U.S.

Ganden Dechen Ling

Woodstock, New York

March 5, 2011—New Year of the Iron Hare

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Just prior to the revised edition of this book going to press, my spiritual teacher of sixteen years, Lee Lozowick, left this world. I offer every acknowledgment, honor, and gratitude to him—for his value to my life and to countless lives on inner and external levels, for his profound spiritual gifts and example of impeccable integrity and lifelong loyalty, for his most deeply human companionship and guidance, and also as the source of all my books. For it was he who suggested to me, when I was the ripe age of twenty-six, that I write my first book. He then suggested I write another one, and another. From this single suggestion emerged my vocation as a writer, and a life of relationships with authors, teachers, spiritual practitioners, and readers that has nourished me throughout the years, and which I am able to feed back to my readers.

Yogi Ramsuratkumar, his guru, remains the most extraordinary, cosmically wild, God-mad, bleeding-hearted, love-filled, fully enlightened human being I have ever known, and he has graced me with his undeserved personal regard and affection long after he left this world in 2001. I am grateful to God to have had the opportunity in this life to encounter a human being who embodies the greatest spiritual possibility that I believe exists.

Many of the teachers, scholars, and senior practitioners I most respect in the field of contemporary spirituality supported me with my research by granting me extensive personal interviews. Two of these teachers, Vimala Thakar and George Leonard, have left this world since the publication of the first edition of this book, and I would like to honor and celebrate their lives through the publication of this new edition. Vimala Thakar, through a simple sentence she shared in her interview, deepened my faith in the Divine and my experience as a woman, and her example of enlightenment in the form of a woman remains engraved in my psyche. The others continue to thrive and gift the world with their teachings: Lama Caroline Palden Alioto, Father Bruno Barnhart, Arnaud Desjardins, Gilles Farcet, Georg Feuerstein, Robert Frager, Ram Dass, Daniel Morin, Charles Tart, Jai Uttal, Llewellyn Vaughan-Lee, and John Welwood. I am grateful to each of them for their generosity and commitment to this project.

My publisher, Sounds True, has given me the experience of a publishing company comprising a team of disciples of life who are intelligent, efficient, dedicated, and caring toward their authors. Lead by renegade Tami Simon, Haven Iverson, Sheridan McCarthy, Jaime Schwalb, Shelly Rosen, and all the others are a blazingly brilliant team to work with.

Nancy Lewis, my friend and personal editor, whom over the past sixteen years I have come to call my Writing Angel, has lovingly supported this book and all of my projects.

As always, my deepest acknowledgments go to my readers, who give me the reason to write.

INTRODUCTION

A Call to Conscious Discipleship of Life

In the Western world, we have not learned how to learn when it comes to knowledge of the soul. We are taught to use our minds to process large amounts of complex data in many fields, and we’ve achieved unprecedented advances in the material world and even in the arts. Yet we receive no instruction on how to educate the higher heart, higher emotions, higher mind—to refine the subtle systems necessary to perceiving those qualities that lie at a deeper dimension of our experience. We are not taught from a young age to nurture our spirit and cultivate our relationship to the inner life and a deeper dimension of experience. Beyond that, many have forgotten there is even something to remember. As the Kabbalistic teachers of old taught, We have forgotten that we have forgotten.

Despite this lack of understanding, many of us find ourselves on a spiritual path in some formal, intentional way. I have also heard a master say that there is nobody who is not on a spiritual path, and this is also true, for in some real way, life itself is a spiritual path. Yet still, in many people this longing to understand—to open, to know, to transform—is a deep craving and longing of the soul. We want to maximize our lives and live to our fullest potential. Author Peter Baumann engaged deeply on the spiritual path after achieving a world of riches and success, and looked for the highest-quality life he could pursue. Whereas it is impossible to define exactly what a spiritual path is, many of us feel that we nonetheless dedicate large amounts of our lives to it, and prioritize it in our hearts.

Many people who involve themselves in spirituality do so, consciously or unconsciously, because they want to be happier. Or because they feel broken. All of us want to enjoy our lives and suffer less. We sense that something deeper is possible, something called transformation. There may be a deep wish within us to serve. We come to the path for different motivations, and yet once we begin to engage with practices and teachers, the teachers and practices themselves begin to awaken and inform us.

As we go along, many different questions arise within us, and oftentimes there is little guidance on how to meet these predicaments. There are very few books that teach us how to approach the path and what to consider at various junctures along the way. Nobody can walk the path for us, and yet we all benefit from pointers.

One of my mentors, sociologist and best-selling author Joseph Chilton Pearce, says that whenever he wants to learn about a subject, he writes a book on it and waits for the feedback, stories, critiques, and new data to emerge: Then the real book begins, he writes. In the ten years since the publication of the first edition of this book, I have heard literally thousands of stories of studentteacher relationships, from the highly refined to the most grossly abusive, and, more commonly, many in between.

Originally this book on the gifts and complexities of aligning with a guru was my doctoral dissertation. I wrote this book to help sincere spiritual seekers and practitioners wrestle with the many challenging questions with respect to the spiritual teacher. Most among those who consider themselves as walking the spiritual path in a sincere way will come into contact with teachers in some form or another. We will have questions that arise, and challenges to wrestle with, even in the best of circumstances.

I am aware that in a culture that values independence and autonomy—one in which many of our authorities have failed to live up to their stature and have often acted hypocritically if not reprehensibly—the idea of the spiritual teacher is unpopular. Within the current climate of interest in spirituality, the teacher or guru is not favored and the disciple-teacher relationship is poorly understood. Even those who do contemplate working with a teacher have well-considered concerns and a measure of confusion about the prospect. And these are justified, given the complexity of the issue.

One of my primary responses to the many challenges spiritual authority presents is the principle and practice of conscious discipleship: a fully empowered, intelligent, discriminating studenthood in relationship to life and the path, whether we engage with spiritual authority intermittently, for extensive periods, as a way of life, or not at all. Conscious discipleship—the topic I will consider in depth in this book—is the connecting thread in the unfolding study of the great labyrinth of the student-teacher relationship in Western culture. The contents of this exploration come from teachers and students of numerous traditions—from religious scholars and scriptures. I will share and synthesize some of these discoveries here. My contribution to the study is also informed by my twenty-plus years of contact and personal involvement with just about every kind of guru, shmuru, tulku, sensei, sheik, shaman, rabbi, therapist, sage, mentor, non-teacher, healer, and Divine Mother you can imagine.

At the onset of my spiritual journey, my involvement with such authorities was that of a seeker desperately looking for anyone or anything that could help me find sanity, truth, and wholeness in a world that seemed utterly mad and heading for its own demise. In the years after I met my teacher, Lee Lozowick, my relationship with other teachers turned from one of a seeker to one of a researcher, not only in an academic context, but in the most personal sense of the term. As I grow up on the spiritual path, many of these teachers and scholars have now become my friends, colleagues, and collaborators. We have opened a dialogue often on these subjects and continue to explore new possibilities. We often dialogue on still-controversial topics in Western spirituality and continue to explore cutting-edge topics such as World Spirituality. Still, I remain in awe of wisdom and cultivate a deep respect for my teachers and the elders who have come before me.

The purpose of my ongoing study has always been twofold. First, I want to augment my understanding of my own transformational process—to deepen my transformational experience and to integrate that experience into my life. Second, I want to fulfill an internal commitment to do my small part in helping spiritual seekers in the West gain a spiritual education and cultivate discernment so their paths unfold with as much understanding, clarity, and efficiency as possible.

Understanding the complexity of the student-teacher relationship is important whether one has a teacher, wants one, or has been disillusioned by one and seeks deeper understanding. It is also important if one does not want a teacher at all but wants to understand the points of discernment relative to this important relationship. This book outlines the principle of conscious discipleship and offers multiple points about using spiritual discernment to decide whether and how to work with a spiritual teacher. It is designed to help the reader articulate into consciousness many of the questions and challenges one would encounter when engaging the spiritual path and the question of the teacher. Through my personal and professional research I have had the privilege of meeting and spending extended periods of time with many individuals whom I consider to be the world’s greatest spiritual teachers, psychologists, yogis, healers, and religious leaders. Many of the quotes you will read here are from personal interviews and conversations with these individuals. My deep wish is that you benefit from these discussions and proceed on your spiritual journey with effectiveness, radiance, and minimal disappointment and disillusionment.

Chapters 1 through 11 describe the spiritual mishaps and extraordinary encounters I experienced on my search to find a teacher, and the accompanying inquiries and points of discernment that accompany the process of exploring, and perhaps finding, a spiritual teacher. In the latter part of the book, and continuing into the epilogue, I share developments and perceptions from my life experience since the publication of the first edition of this book and describe where my current work is taking me, as well as present a new and complex set of questions with which I was unexpectedly faced. We are endlessly developing, both individually and collectively, and as a writer my perspective shifts as I study, learn, change, and mature. I hope this book reflects my development. Finally, for those who are interested in further study, the appendix

Reviews for The Guru Question

[aulsmith · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I keep reading books like this, hoping there is actually someone out there who will save people from wasting extensive amounts of their lives on spiritual quests. Ms. Caplan is not that someone.I got to page 35 where she said: "It is rarely the case that a teacher consciously instigates a spiritual scandal ..." Well, yes; it's rarely the case that anyone consciously instigates something that's going to turn into a disaster, but the fact is that human beings are very prone to unconsciously create huge problems both for themselves and other people and then try to cover up the mess with a lot of ridiculous justifications. The problem with spiritual teachers and spiritual seekers is that they're placing themselves in extremely vulnerable positions where crap like that frequently occurs. Someone has to be morally responsible for seeing that crap doesn't occur, and I say it's the teacher who's responsible.On the positive side Ms. Caplan does point out that a lot of people aren't looking for spiritual enlightenment but are instead looking to meet psychological needs in a spiritual setting. She talks about how people tend to get what they are unconsciously looking for, though she doesn't talk specifically about abuse victims who are looking to re-enact abuse scenarios, something that I consider to be one of the biggest problems in the spiritual teacher/student relationship.In addition although she pays lip service to other ideas about how to attain spiritual enlightenment, she clearly only thinks that a long period of discipleship, lot's of practice, and a good spiritual teacher is the only way to get there. I don't agree. If you meet the Buddha on the path, kill him.