Palm Beach - An Irreverent Guide
By Jack Owen
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About this ebook
I'm tickled pink to reissue Palm Beach – An Irreverent Guide almost three decades after it was penned.
Its just as corny and “ineptly illustrated” (according to one early newspaper critic) as ever. However, it entertained visitors and residents alike for 10 seasons before the naughtier, Palm Beach Scandals – An Intimate Guide, bumped it off the shelves. Now they are both available in “tree and E-versions”.
Much has changed on “The Island” since 1985, but the sites, stories and legends which give the winter paradise its allure, endure forever.
Enjoy! I did.
Jack Owen
Jack Owen
British journalist Jack Owen wrote for local, national and international publications before becoming the author of two non-fiction books about Palm Beach, and a handful of factional yarns based on historical – mostly nautical – events. His books, anthologies, articles and short-stories are available online in “E and Tree” versions. In the course of seeking information for stories about everything from Mushroom Growing to Murder, the author has sailed oceans, climbed mountains and bent the ear of many bartenders. Cops and crooks have shoved guns in his face, society dames have hired him to ghost-write their life-stories. Editors have hired, fired and hired him again. Owen has written for publications as diverse as the National Enquirer to the National Fisherman and Sports Digest to Modern Maturity, while playing many roles Upstairs and Downstairs to get the story. And sometimes his story, became part of, history. In a parallel life, sometimes serendipitously merging one with the other, he has maintained a second love and livelihood in antiquarian and contemporary books. As an active bookseller and appraiser in the late 1970's, he has been a charter member, officer and former president of the FABA (Florida Antiquarian Booksellers Association). He has also messed about in boats from rag-bags to stink-pots in many roles. Aaarghhhh!
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Book preview
Palm Beach - An Irreverent Guide - Jack Owen
The Boring Bits
PALM BEACH HISTORY
The Gossipy Bits
PALM BEACH SITES AND SIGHTS
The Naughty Bits
PALM BEACH ANECDOTES
AND ATTITUDES
The Shutterbug's Map
PALM BEACH GAWKERS GUIDE [ at the end of book]
––––––––
Palm Beach Is...
Raison D'etre
This pocket guide is the end result of scuttlebutt, gossip and legend, gathered during the past two decades, about Palm Beach, or THE ISLAND as it is known to the natives.
Its purpose is to help visitors catch the flavor of Palm Beach, past and present. And give locals a break.
Most Palm Beachers play host to Snowbirds. A spare room, a Castro convertible, closet space for a sleeping bag, is not begrudged. But a further imposition is the obligatory tour of THE ISLAND, sprinkled with titillating gossip, fact and fiction.
It becomes ridiculously time consuming. This guide might take some of the pain out of the host's duties.
There are still plenty of gaps for the ardent townie to fill in: where to see the tiled dog's water-bar on Worth Avenue; where to spot the dent made by Mollie's 'Mercedes'; and the legend of the Town Hall Reflecting Pool, into which an amputee landed his automobile - then sued for compensation for his warped wooden leg.
What you won't find is a guide to the best watering holes in town, where to buy the meatiest hamburgers, the tastiest coffee, a high-stakes poker game, or where to score dope 24-hours a day. We don't want to ruin a good thing.
We have warned about the perils of parking ($20 fine for overstaying your welcome), but you will have to explore stores and restaurants unaided.
The staff turnover from demanding Palm Beachers is too fast to keep abreast of. You will soon discover the store snobs, the off-hand restaurant hostesses, the lackadaisical waitpersons, and which kamikaze car valets to avoid.
Finally, first-time visitors should forget any thoughts of making a grand entrance, or impressing the locals. They have seen everything.
A professional doorman can tell at a glance, by the distance between tire and curb, whether the Rolls-Royce disembarking passengers is owned, or rented.
And a waiter need only follow a customer's eyes to gauge whether they can afford to eat at an elegant restaurant - and leave a good tip. If the customer's eyes immediately widen, and become fixed on the right-hand side of the menu, all is lost.
––––––––
Jack Owen - Palm Beach, 1985
Palm Beach History
Palm Beach is two steps beyond the pale.
Florida is completely different from the rest of the United States - and Palm Beach is different again. It was designed as a playground for the rich, and almost 100 years later is valiantly trying to maintain its status quo.
During the first century of America's independence, Florida, in the main, was ignored. The only method of travel through the sub-tropical State the size of England, Wales and Scotland combined, was by boat, or foot. Florida is a peninsula, dangling from the intestines of the North American continental body like an appendix. And it was considered about as useless, and inconvenient, as that obsolete appendage.
An act of God, and the vision of an inspired fortune-builder, vitalized Florida's dormant land.
In 1878 a stormy sea drove the trading ship Providencia ashore, spewing its cargo of wine and coconuts onto the sandy beaches. The flotsam and jetsam washed up at a point now occupied by the prestigious Bath and Tennis Club.
Loners, refugees from the Civil War, busied. themselves collecting the wreckage. The wine was quickly disposed of, the ship's timbers were salvaged to construct shanty shacks, and the early environmentalists planted the coconuts above the tide-line to strengthen the beach and supply a source of provender.
Less than