50 Shades Of Age

By Kathy Marris

Women my age often complained to me that they became invisible once they reached half a century. The majority of we women have led a busy fulfilled life being mothers, wives and co-breadwinners. After reaching that milestone age of 50, with kids leaving the nest and feeling despondent, I felt a big void in my life. It was with this in mind that I decided to start up 50 Shades Of Age – a website where I could reach out to my sisters and tell them that their lives could be so much more. I wanted to be the voice for the new-age 50 something year olds to empower and motivate them to feel worthy again! I am now able to condense my articles on my thoughts of being a 50-something year old and bring them to you in a lighthearted and sometimes highly amusing approach in the form of this book.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kathy Marris
• Release date: Dec 12, 2016
• ISBN: 9781370509799

Kathy Marris

Kathy is a 50 something year old who has been blogging at www.50shadesofage.com for the past 3.5 years. She is married with two adult children and lives on the Gold Coast in Queensland. She enjoys living life to the fullest and loves to keep fit and active by maintaining a healthy diet and exercising regularly. Some of her interests include reading, movies, travelling, cooking and blogging! Kathy works part-time as a freelance writer but her real passion is travelling and photographing brilliant destinations both within Australia and overseas and writing about it.Kathy commenced the blog as a platform to encourage and inspire women of her age. After reaching that milestone age of 50, with kids leaving the nest and feeling unemployable, Kathy felt a big void in her life. It was with this in mind that she decided to start up 50 Shades Of Age – a website where she could reach out to her sisters and tell them that their lives could be so much more. Kathy’s desire is to be the voice for the new-age 50 something year olds to empower and motivate them to feel worthy again!

Book preview

50 Shades of Age

By Kathy Marris

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2016 Kathy Marris

Thank you for downloading this ebook. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be redistributed to others for commercial or non-commercial purposes. If you enjoyed this book, please encourage your friends to download their own copy from their favorite authorized retailer. Thank you for your support.

Introduction:

Women my age often complained to me that they became invisible once they reached half a century. The majority of we women have led a busy fulfilled life being mothers, wives and co-breadwinners. After reaching that milestone age of 50, with kids leaving the nest and feeling despondent, I felt a big void in my life. It was with this in mind that I decided to start up 50 Shades Of Age – a website where I could reach out to my sisters and tell them that their lives could be so much more. I wanted to be the voice for the new-age 50 something year olds to empower and motivate them to feel worthy again! We have so much to offer.

I initially started writing small articles in 2012 about my life as a 50-something year old for my proposed website whilst I was sitting at my desk at my part-time job as a Bookkeeper. A few months later after a visit to the library and scanning through several books on How to start up your own website and Creating Websites for Dummies, I finally got my website off the ground and ran a couple of my articles. Within a few months I picked up heaps of followers and an interactive audience. I was chuffed!

However after almost 10 months of publishing articles I was given the biggest reality check of my life when two of my closest friends at the time were acting strangely towards me. You see I had overstepped the mark of writing things that were too personal and they started to see themselves as characters in my articles. My two children also mentioned to me that were not happy with being mentioned in my articles.

At that time in my life when I was struggling to re-invent myself I found my friend’s lack of support and ambivalence towards me to be extremely unsettling and in the end I parted ways with these two friends. Not because I felt my blog was more important, but purely because I felt that their negativity and lack of motivation was holding me back on both a personal and professional level.

After a lot of soul searching and discussions with family members and other more supportive friends I decided to continue with the blog. At that time my husband and I were planning a trip around Australian in our 4 wheel drive and caravan, so we set off in early 2014 for the adventure of a lifetime. This was a turning point for the subject matter of my blog to be more travel orientated rather than everyday life related.

Since taking that trip and retreating for seven whole months with just my husband, I and our dog, it was the shot in the arm I needed. I have continued to write a successful blog with a truly fantastic following. I also found myself with a part-time website writing job offer on my return from our trip and I now write for hotel and resort websites as well as my own blog.

After all this time I am now able to condense my articles on my thoughts of being a 50-something year old and bring them to you in the form of this book. I hope you will find them amusing, entertaining and most importantly motivating!

Kathy

Chapter 1. Ageing and Ageism

Age Appropriateness

Age Appropriate Definition: certain activities being deemed appropriate or inappropriate for an age group – normally used when referring to the developmental stages of children.

I’m frequently told by my children, my husband or my friends that I’m too old for blah blah blah!. So I ask what is ‘age appropriate’ for us 50-something’s? Am I supposed to ‘pack up my bat and ball’ and just go home to sit in my recliner in the living room and watch my life go by? Or am I allowed to get out there and live ‘la dolce vita’?

It is as though there is a list of things that you can do when you’re young and another list for the over 50’s. Things like:

Holidays – my son told me that the Greek island of Mykonos would be ‘too out there’ for me. So am I supposed to take one of those lovely river cruises down the Danube River in Europe with all the other oldies?

Girl’s Nights Out - my husband says us girls are ‘cougars’ if we dress up and go on a night out. He refers to one particular bar that we go to as the ‘mutton bar’ as he says it’s where women are mutton dressed up as lamb. So are our social activities limited to Knitting Club, Bingo or Bridge?

Clothing - I know I have covered this subject on a previous blog, but I still like to think that we can look fashionable and stylish at our age without wearing that micro mini-skirt or see-through blouse! I say if you still have it – flaunt it! (well - within reason!)

Language – my children drop the ‘f word’ frequently in my presence, however if I occasionally let it slip out they are horrified. I can also see the smirk on their faces if I refer to something being cool or awesome. They think they have this little Gen Y lingo going on and that it is exclusive to their age group!

Admiring a Male Body – it is definitely not cool for me to comment that a young man has an awesome ‘six pack’ or a nice butt! Anybody would think that I had committed adultery or was bordering on pedophiliac. To my knowledge I haven’t joined the ranks of ‘cougars’ and I do not go out prowling for younger men – but I do admire a good male body when I see one!

Sex – don’t even go there, according to my kids! People our age are obviously too old for sex and it is a taboo subject. (I must admit the thought of my own oldies doing ‘it’ does make me feel a bit squeamish!)

Music – not all of us like to listen to our old single records or cassettes of The Beatles or ABBA!Some of us do have an appreciation of current music and enjoy a wide array of styles such as Heavy Metal, Rock, R&B, Hip-Hop, Rap and Indie.

Work – most of us all still have a lot to offer in the working sector. Although we haven’t been bought up with technology, a majority of us keep abreast with the latest devices and are computer literate. Please stop labelling us as ‘past it’ and ‘old fashioned’ – we can still cut it!

So I say to all of you young folk out there many a good tune is played on an old fiddle, (God where did I pluck that one out of!?) I would much prefer to die doing what I like best rather than stagnating in a recliner chair.

I’m letting my inhibitions go and I’m going to don my string bikini and go to Mykonos where I’m going to ogle all of those young men parading their taut tanned bodies in their g-strings! At least over there no-one will recognise me!

Not Ready for the Scrap Heap Yet

My daughter recently said to me you are still too young to be retired, Mum, and I was secretly flattered that she thought this. I am after all, only in my fifties and I have all of my faculties I believe, (but sometimes I wonder!) I am fit and healthy and I have years of work experience. My CV could be bound and made into a book because there are so many pages. I have kept up-to-date with technology and I know how to text, skype, viber, snapchat, google, facebook, instagram, pinterest and all of the modern apps. So why do I feel unemployable and ready for the scrap heap?

Although I'm probably not quite ready to go back to work, since I recently returned from a seven month trip, I would probably be interested in a cushy little part-time or casual job, just for the extra money. Although I have this fantastic blog and I'm in the throes of converting the ground floor of my house into a B&B, I think I need a little mental stimulation and the social contact of going out of the house to work. Well that is what the experts say is good about working out of home.

After applying for three jobs within the past few weeks and not even getting a look in, I'm starting to become a little disillusioned. I'm beginning to think my mature age maybe the problem so I'm thinking of re-wording my application letter to a potential employer along these lines:

Dear potential employer,

I wish to apply for the position as blah, blah, blah. My credentials and experience are exemplary, even though I am a little long of tooth, but I can assure you that you would not find a better employee that myself.

For example:

I am reliable. I don't have young children that have a temperature every couple of months or so, that prevent me coming into work. I don't have a gorgeous new boyfriend that I have to detach myself from every morning in order to get to work on time. I don't have a hangover from nightclubbing every Thursday night so that I am too sick to come to work.

I am healthy. I don't catch a cold every month, suffer from migraines, tummy bugs or period pain. I don't have boyfriend breaking-up dramas. I don't come to work tired or hungover because I take care of my body and I get plenty of sleep.

I am organised. I don't rush into work with yesterday's grimy necked blouse, a wrinkled skirt and dirty shoes. I don't go into a meeting or presentation without notes and a pre-prepared report. My multi-tasking skills are well advanced from years of being a working mum, taxi-driver, cook, cleaner and tutor.

I am punctual. I don't swan into work half and hour late using every excuse in the book for my tardiness. I allow plenty of time to get to work taking into consideration roadworks, traffic jams and public transport delays.

As for my experience! How about thirty plus years for you? I may not have a university degree but I have good old fashioned hands-on experience. I have undertaken every task that was given to me (including making tea and coffee), I have always been polite and put a smile on my face (even when I have been seething inside) and I have done a hard days work even though I didn't feel the best.

I am a quick learner and I'm more than willing to keep up-to-date with the latest technology, but more than that, I know how to complete tasks without the aid of technology. I can even spell words correctly, use appropriate language (instead of whatever!) and I can also use correct grammar. I can survive the day without once having to check my iPhone for the latest Snapchat, Facebook status update or Instagram photo.

And if all that is not enough, the Australian Government are now offering a wage subsidy for the over-fifties of up to $10,000. So please, please consider me.

Yours sincerely,

Signed: Not Ready for the Scrap Heap Yet

Is Romance Dead in your Fifties?

With Valentine's Day just around the corner and another birthday under the belt it got me thinking about relationships and romance. Is there such a thing as romance in your fifties? Does it just die a natural death once our bodies are depleted of all those 'feel good' hormones?

I often wonder where those heady days early on in my relationship have vanished to. It's a distant memory, but I can still remember when I thought about my partner continuously throughout the day and we couldn't wait to get our hands on one another! Sadly, those days expired a long time ago.

Every magazine I pick up these days features articles with titles like 'Spice up Your love-Life', 'Rekindle the Romance in Your Relationship' or 'Re-ignite the Spark'. Then there are articles that are more sexually explicit like 'Sexy Things to Try Tonight'. The only sexy thing I want to try at night-time is an intimate romp with my memory foam pillow and a roll in the hay with my 1000 thread-count sheets!

So what do you do when you would rather go to bed with a good book instead of your partner? How can you 'rev up your romance' instead of in my case, revving up the boat in garage? How can you get your significant other to come out of his 'man cave' and want to spend more time with you rather than