The Forgiveness Book: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve
By D. Patrick Miller and Frederic Luskin
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About this ebook
Forgiveness is the science of the heart; a discipline of discovering all the ways of being that will extend your love to the world and discarding all the ways that will not. This is a book about growing up, becoming whole, connecting to others, and becoming comfortable in one's own skin. It is inspirational, healing, and programmatic.
Miller explores the facts of forgiveness, including forgiving others, forgiving oneself, and the results of following the path of forgiveness.
Also included is a section on forgiveness exercises (including journaling, making amends, and practicing patience). This is a broadly based spiritual and self-help book. Rooted in the philosophy of A Course in Miracles and drawing from other spiritual teachings (including Christianity, Sufism, Buddhism, the I Ching, and Jungian psychology), The Forgiveness Book is for those interested in spirituality, wholeness, and living a better and more fulfilling life.
D. Patrick Miller
D. Patrick Miller is a senior writer for Yoga Journal and a frequent contributor to The Sun: A Magazine of Ideas.His work has also appeared in Natural Health, Self, The Utne Reader, The Columbia Journalism Review, and many other periodicals. He is the author of A Little Book of Forgiveness and co-author (with Tom Rusk, M.D.) of Instead of Therapy and The Power of Ethical Persuasion. A native of Charlotte, North Carolina, Miller lives with his wife, Laurie Fox, in Berkeley, California.
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The Forgiveness Book - D. Patrick Miller
INTRODUCTION
Is there anything going on in your life that just wears you out? A thankless job, a chronic illness, a troubled relationship? Have you gone over and over this situation or circumstance without finding a solution or a way out?
When a problem resists solving, it's often because we have unknowingly limited the range of possible solutions. That happens because we have looked at the problem in the same way for a long time. Forgiveness begins with the willingness to look at any difficult circumstance of your life in a new way. Forgiveness is not about letting anyone off the hook for a mistake, insult, or crime. Nor is it about trying to forget something that bothers you. In fact, forgiveness may first require that you look more deeply at whatever is bothering you, because looking more deeply at something in particular will be the first step into seeing everything differently. And seeing everything differently is the way of forgiveness.
When this volume was first published as A Little Book of Forgiveness in 1994, there was indeed something little
in the way that I approached my subject matter. While learning and practicing forgiveness had made a profound difference in my life, I was still a little worried about pushing the idea too hard—as if it might be impolite to suggest too strongly that other people could benefit from giving up a grudge or changing a vengeful outlook. Less than a decade into my own spiritual discipline at the time, I was somewhat tentative about promoting all the advantages of it.
Fifteen years later, I decided to revise and re-title the book in light of the greater understanding of forgiveness that I had developed since. This is the sixth edition over twenty-three years, during which I've realized that far from being a little undertaking, forgiveness is a disciplined and increasingly joyful approach to seeing and being that amounts to a new way of life. Nowadays I have a much better idea of what that means than I used to. The way of forgiving certainly doesn't mean becoming weak or passive, or using forgiveness to avoid conflicts. It does mean increasing one's capacity to deal with challenging relationships and daunting circumstances, because less energy is wasted on pointless resentments and rehashing ancient injuries. Gradually, a habitually cynical state of mind can give way to a happier and more spontaneous response to the