Alternative Facts: Totally True Tales Of Trump

By Garth Owen

From an apocalypse of time travellers at the inauguration, to Trumpy Bear's feud with Ranger Smith over forest fire alarmism, and on, updating every week, the Alternative Facts mailing list offered flash fiction, satire and commentary on US and world politics for the first 100 days of the Trump Presidency

Alternative Facts: Totally True Tales Of Trump collects the prose from the emails, so you can enjoy them all in one place.

Half the royalties from this book will go to charities supporting people affected by the craziness it makes fun of.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ian Pattinson
• Release date: Feb 5, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370463473

Garth Owen

Garth Owen sprang fully formed from a Manchester side street. He's a huge fan of pulp and action books and films and wants to share his take on them with the world.

Book preview

Alternative Facts

Totally True Tales Of Trump

Garth Owen

Smashwords edition

Copyright 2016 Spinneyhead Books

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to http://www.smashwords.com/ and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Welcome to Alternative Facts: Totally True Tales Of Trump. This was going to bean ongoing project, but, like so many others, I just got overwhelmed by the continuous stupidity. It became ever harder to come up with fictional scenarios that could beat the absurdity of every day's news.

So, here's flash fiction inspired by the first hundred days of the Trump Presidency, written before reality broke my ability to mock it.

Contents

January 2017

February 2017

March 2017

April 2017

January 2017

Time Trumped

January 20th (originally published November 2nd 2016)

It happened just as President elect Donald J Trump went off script whilst swearing his oath of office. A figure appeared from nowhere, gun pointed toward The Donald, finger already pulling the trigger.

She had come from the future. Her mission- to kill the President before, on January 25th, he nuked Monte Carlo to prove the Prime Minister of Montenegro wrong and show that his fingers were long enough to press the atomic button.

Even before the bullet had left the barrel, the assassin was joined by dozens, maybe hundreds of others. With everything from lasers all the way down to clubs, each of them had come back with a specific mission- eliminate Trump before he could carry out the action that blighted their particular future.

It was one of the lasers, by an almost immeasurable fraction of a second, that got the job done. Which triggered the second wave of temporal assassins. These were dedicated to cutting down Mike Pence before he could institute his plans for homosexual re-education camps and sexuality snooping.

Into the middle of this already confused mess came a pair of twenty-second century Men's Rights Activists. Angry at the unfair advantages equal wages gave females, and the sissification inherent in paternity leave, they had decided to travel back and kill the first female President. Incompetence had shunted them sideways as well as backwards. But they never found that out, as they were burnt to a