Breakup Songs

By Jamie Campbell

Kaley Thorne’s world is about to completely explode. With a recording contract on the horizon, just one wrong step could ruin everything and stop her from living out her dreams of being a singer-songwriter.

With her secret songbook in hand, Kaley ventures into the world of fame, fortune, and fakeness. She must determine who in her life is a traitor, who is real, and which people are worth saving. In the music industry, nothing is as it appears.

For Kaley, even the very worst things can be fuel for her songs. She will write new pages with her boyfriend, best friend, family, and all her new fans. She has found her voice, but can she use it the way she wants to, or will she do as she’s told?

Also in the Secret Songbook Series:

Secret Songs (Short Prequel)
Love Songs
Breakup Songs

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jamie Campbell
• Release date: Apr 6, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370527366

Jamie Campbell

Jamie was born into a big, crazy family of 6 children. Being the youngest, she always got away with anything and would never shut up. Constantly letting her imagination run wild, her teachers were often frustrated when her 'What I did on the weekend' stories contained bunyips and princesses.Growing up, Jamie did the sensible things and obtained a Bachelor of Business degree from Southern Cross University and worked hard to gain her membership with the Institute of Chartered Accountants in Australia.Yet nothing compared to writing. Quiting the rat race to spend quality time with her laptop named Lily, Jamie has written several novels and screenplays. Spanning a number of genres and mediums, Jamie writes whatever inspires her from ghost stories to teenage love stories to tantalising murder mysteries. Nothing is off limits.A self-confessed television addict, dog lover, Taylor Swift fan, and ghost hunter, Jamie loves nothing more than the thrill of sharing her stories.

Book preview

Chapter 1

There was nothing like the rush of a screaming audience. Kaley Thorne stood on stage, feeling the love all directed at her. She strummed her last chord on the guitar, let her last word linger in the air, and took her bow.

Kaley… Kaley… Kaley…

The crowd went wild, chanting her name and stamping their feet for more. They couldn’t get enough of her and she would have been happy to continue to play for them all night long. But she was a superstar and had millions of other things she needed to do.

Kaley… Kaley… Kaley…

Giving her band members a high-five as she left the stage, the adrenalin pumping through her veins was indescribable. She felt invincible, like she could run a marathon to the moon and back and still have enough energy to write a million more songs.

Then she woke up.

Kaley sat up in bed, looking around the room and rubbing her eyes. It had all been a dream, a wonderfully real dream. Or… a glimpse into the future? She wasn’t sure but she did know one thing. That’s going to be me, she muttered to herself.

Stretching, the reality of her mundane life came crashing back to her. She climbed out of bed and opened the blinds, hoping to see the person who made everything feel less mundane.

Harvey was sitting on his bed across the way, their bedroom windows facing each other. He waved as she blew him a kiss. He pretended to catch it, smearing it on his own lips. Kaley laughed, he was a fool but she loved him anyway.

Her next thought was that if Harvey was putting on his shoes, it meant he was almost ready for school and she had some serious catching up to do. She grabbed her clothes and ran for the bathroom.

Mother Barbie, aka Georgie Thorne, was waiting by the front door to see her off by the time she was ready. Are you sure you don’t want a lift?

Certain, Mom, thanks. See you later. She gave her a kiss on the cheek before hurrying out the door.

Harvey was nowhere to be seen in the street. She started walking fast, hoping she would be able to catch up to him before they got to school. Ever since they had officially got together four months earlier, they had been inseparable. Harvey had been the perfect boyfriend, sweet, kind, and attentive. Kaley had tried her best to be the perfect girlfriend and it had only helped her song writing. Her song book was filled with sappy love songs, all as a direct result of the cute boy next door.

As she walked, Kaley felt a hand slide into hers, squeezing it gently. She didn’t need to look over to see who it belonged to, she just knew. Hey, Harv.

Hey, you left without me. He leant over and planted a kiss on her cheek. It still made her blush, even after four months of getting used to it.

I thought you’d gone already. Sorry.

He shrugged. I wouldn’t leave without you. Walking to school with you is the highlight of my day.

She risked a glance, trying to work out if he was just joking or not. He had a smile plastered across his gorgeous face but it seemed genuine. She brushed up closer to him, nudging him with her shoulder. You’re pretty awesome, Mr. Walker, I hope you realize that.

If I’m so awesome, when are you going to sing me your new song? And don’t try to deny it, you’ve been talking about it to Harper for weeks.

He was right. Kaley was working on a new song but it felt different somehow, like she didn’t want to expose it to the world just yet. She wanted to snuggle it close to her chest, keep it safe there for her eyes and ears only.

Soon, okay? It’s not finished.

You never think anything is finished. You’re a perfectionist.

She couldn’t argue, he was right again. Sometimes she thought for sure Harvey knew her better than she did herself. It was eerie the way he knew things without even having to tell him. She wasn’t able to get away with anything with him around.

And perhaps that was exactly what she needed. Left to her own devices, she was withdrawn and shy. With Harvey’s encouragement, she was able to share her songs with others, something she had been far too scared to do before.

They reached Sandyridge High School and headed for their lockers. It wasn’t long before her best friend, Harper, joined them. Judging by the bursting look on her face, Kaley knew she was up to something.

You guys are never going to guess what I did, she started. Her red hair bounced with excitement.

Umm, met Harry Styles? Kaley teased. She knew Harper could play the guessing game all day long if nobody played along.

I wish, but no. She waited for other more appropriate responses. They didn’t come. I’ve booked you a gig. You’re going to play at The Bank this weekend!

Seriously? Kaley asked, her mind racing with the implications. A real gig, that was huge. But it also meant standing up in front of hundreds of people and entertaining them. There were a million things that could go wrong with that scenario. Every one of them threatened to play out in her mind.

Seriously, it’s locked in. We’re going to have to discuss hair and wardrobe. You need to go shopping. Harper, always the one to dress her up like she thought a rock star should look.

And talk about the set list, Harvey added.

Kaley couldn’t talk, she was too busy freaking out. Playing once for her school when her grade depended on it was one thing. But performing in front of strangers was an entirely different ballgame.

Kaley, breathe, Harper advised. She took in a few deep breaths with her. You’re going to rock it, you know you can do it.

What about if I can’t? I might forget all the words.

Have you ever forgotten the words to your songs before?

It was a good point, but that didn’t factor in the panic she would be feeling on the stage. There’s a first time for everything. She shrugged, her face scrunched into a wired mess.

You’ll be fine, Harvey reassured her. He could always be relied upon to offer a calming word or two. He was her rock, he had been for a very long time. It just took Kaley a long time to realize it.

The superstar is gracing us with her presence, Macy said loudly, making sure everyone could overhear her. Abigail and Madison giggled on either side of her.

Kaley visibly shrunk, wishing she could disappear altogether. She was once invisible, living her life completely unnoticed by everyone else. Ever since she had performed at the school dance, she had been thrust out of the shadows. And not in a good way.

What’s wrong, Kales? Macy continued. Cat got your tongue? Or are we not important enough to talk to now? Has Hollywood called yet? She started a round of cackling.

Go away, Macy, Harvey said, stepping between the two girls. Leave us alone.

Macy made a point of looking around, trying to find something that was so obviously not there. Oh, I’m sorry, were you talking to me? I didn’t realize Kaley had a bodyguard. How sweet. She pushed Harvey’s shoulder, only making him grit his teeth even harder.

Kaley placed a gentle hand on his other arm. It’s okay, Harvey. Just ignore her.

The trio of mean girls shot them all one last look before bursting into a fit of giggles and headed down the corridor. The same scene had played out nearly every day since the dance. If there was something Macy didn’t like, it was someone else having the spotlight.

For just a moment after the dance, Kaley had thought the girls would be nicer to her. By getting up on the stage in front of the entire school, she had proven she wasn’t just a shrinking violet, that she was brave. That optimism had lasted until the following school day when the girls had put her back into her place.

The bell rang above their heads. I’ll catch you guys later, Kaley said as she closed her locker and headed to class. She refused to let them get to her, but it was difficult.

Chapter 2

This feels weird.

Harper let out the breath she was holding. Placing her hands on her hips, she would accept no amount of excuses from her best friend. It’s not weird, just do it.

Kaley stood with the microphone poised in the music room. She was supposed to be rehearsing for her first official, paid, gig. Unfortunately, that meant singing in front of Harper and that was making her all kinds of nervous.

I’m not used to singing in front of other people, she said, trying to delay the inevitable. If she delayed it long enough, she could entirely put it off all together. That was the plan, anyway.

You sang in front of the whole school, Harper pointed out. It was true, but it was… different. Playing a concert for one was weird, especially when her best friend kept looking at her.

I was forced to. My grade depended on it, remember?

Harper shrugged, she wasn’t going to be giving her any sympathy. So? I’m your best friend. If you can’t sing in front of me, who is incredibly supportive and non-judgmental, how do you plan on getting famous and rich?

I didn’t know I was planning on getting famous and rich.

Harper’s hands were thrown into the air as she feigned giving up. Why do I even bother? She made a start for the door. If you want to be a big, whiny, baby about this, then I resign as your manager. You can hide your incredible talent forever, be my guest.

Kaley let her get to the door before she said anything. She had known Harper long enough to know she had to let the theatrics run their course. Okay, fine, I’ll give it a go. Just don’t look at me.

What am I supposed to look at?

She looked around, eventually holding up a tambourine. This. Look at this and I’ll sing you the song I’ve been working on.

Harper relented and took a seat at the piano, pretending to look at the tambourine like her life depended on it. Kaley picked up her guitar and placed the strap over her shoulder. She took a deep breath before launching into the song.

If you’re only in my dreams,

Then don’t wake me up.

Let me sleep here forever,

I’m not ready to give you up.

Tell me your hands are real,

When they hold me tight.

Promise me your lips are true,

When you kiss me just right.

Kaley abruptly stopped as Harvey ran into the music room. The final strum of her guitar held static in the room as he tried to slow his heartrate down. Harvey, what’s wrong?

Teen Idol is auditioning this weekend, he puffed out. Wherever he had run from, it had to have been a long way away.

Harper clapped her hands together excitedly. This is perfect! It’s like it was meant to be. You have to audition, Kaley.

Kaley felt all eyes burning deep holes into her. Teen Idol was a national singing competition, televised to millions of households every week. The winner got a recording contract that would make any artist jealous. Not to mention the fame that went with it. Every past winner had skyrocketed into their career.

But auditioning meant performing in front of the judges, and the rest of the country. Her mouth went dry, her heartbeat raced. All those people, watching her, listening to her. She couldn’t do it. Even the thought made her want to faint.

Kaley, you are doing this, Harper stated, like it was already a done deal.

Of course she’s going to do it, Harvey added. Teen Idol has never come here before, it’s the perfect opportunity.

I can’t. Kaley finally found her voice as they both stared at her in disbelief. Teen Idol is for professionals, I’m not in that league. I’ve got a few songs and play the guitar. I’m not good enough to be on the show.

Yes, you are, Harper said, trying not to get too exasperated. You are better than most of the people on that show. You’re better than most professionals. You’re going to blow them all away.

The only thing Kaley could think of was being on stage in front of the judges, cameras, and audience and freezing up. Her humiliation would make her an internet sensation, the girl who was suddenly mute. It wasn’t what she wanted to be known for.

Harvey stepped forward and took her hand in his. Looking deep into her eyes, he screamed of sincerity. I know you can do this, Kaley. You’ll be really, really great. Everyone will be able to see what we do.

He wasn’t playing fair and she knew it. Why did they have to be so damn supportive? She could have weaseled out of it if they didn’t have such belief in her. Unfortunately, she knew it was genuine and unlikely to change anytime soon.

Finally, Kaley let out a resigned sigh. Fine, I’ll do it. But you’re going to have to buy me heaps of ice cream when they all laugh at me.

Harper squealed with delight at her side, already jumping up and down with excitement. Harvey was a bit more subdued with nothing but a beaming smile showing his happiness. I will buy you triple chocolate berry ice cream when you rock the audition.

While the promise of ice cream was appealing, Kaley had to fake the excitement. The knot in her stomach was going to remain there until after the audition, which was already far too close for comfort. She would have to do nothing but practice between now and then.

The trio were too hyped up to get any rehearsing done for the rest of the afternoon. Kaley eventually managed to extract herself to go home. Harvey left her at the front door of her house, giving her a quick kiss before going next door.

The moment Kaley stepped inside, she knew something was different. Mother Barbie dropped the spoon she was using to stir the dinner and hurried over to her. There you are.

It appears so, Kaley replied cautiously. If Georgina Thorne was excited about something, it generally meant she wouldn’t be. In fact, it was normally something that she would have to wriggle out of.

And today was no exception. Did you hear the news?

What news? The knot was getting tighter in her stomach, soon it would break into several separate ones so they could each clench tighter.

Georgie’s eyes were sparkling as she spoke. Teen Idol is auditioning this month! Here, right in Sandyridge. My baby is going to be a star!

Kaley took a step backward, trying to disentangle herself from the conversation. She had hoped her mother wouldn’t find out about the audition, at least not until it was over anyway. There was only one thing worse than an excited Harper and that was an overenthusiastic Mother Barbie.

I’m not going to be a star, Mom, she started, trying to quell the situation that might blow up into a huge, glittery mess. Harper and Harvey said I should audition so I told them I would. There’s no guarantees I’m going to get on the show or anything.

Georgie wasn’t listening. She threw her arms around her daughter’s shoulders and hugged her tightly. Of course you’re going to be a star. When those judges take one look at my baby, they’re going to see nothing but gorgeous talent. Better get ready for fame, honey.

She managed to get out of her vicelike grip for a moment. I’m not going to be famous. Yet deep within her mind, a place she never let on she had, Kaley was imagining what it would be like. If the judges liked her, if the audience voted for her, if she did get to share her music with the world… She tried to put the thought back into its box.

I’ve already been planning your costumes. I was thinking of a red sequin number. That should get their attention. Oh, you could wear a cowboy hat too, that will make you stand out from the crowd. Not that you need anything to stand out, you’re already a shining star.

Things were quickly getting out of hand. Mom, stop. I’ll just wear something from my closet. And no hat. I only need my guitar, that’s all.

A crestfallen look passed over her mother’s face. But only for a minute before her hopeful excitement returned again. We’ll work on that. We’ll study last season and see what the winner did at her audition. She went back to her stirring, her mind in a cloud of preparation.

Kaley left her to it, retreating to the safety of her room. If she let those around her tell her what to wear and how to act, she wondered if she would lose herself. She didn’t want to change or become someone else to win a competition.

She had seen all the entertainment shows, read all the articles and watched as celebrities went on a downward spiral because they lost themselves in the fame game. As much as Kaley wanted to be a professional musician, she knew she couldn’t forget who she was in the process.

Flicking through her songbook, piece after piece passed by her fingers. The lyrics were so close to her in all of them, they were a private insight into her life. She wasn’t certain if she would be able to share them with the world yet. Could she really let them go? Once they were out, there would be no way to bring them back in again. Anyone who heard her songs would know a very private and personal part of her. It seemed like a big gamble.

The page stopped to a song called Breaking Fall. It was a ballad about her ex-boyfriend Eli. The lyrics described the moment when she had found him kissing his ex-girlfriend Abigail at the school dance. That single moment had broken her heart, shattered it into a million pieces before she could even process what was happening.

She had written the song through tear-blurry eyes. Some of the pages still had dried tearstains on them. If she played that songs for others, they would know how much pain she had been in. They would know how fragile and vulnerable she was under her thick skin. They would just know.

To allow other people to see you like that was risky. She wouldn’t be the shy, invisible Kaley Thorne she always was. In her place would be someone they thought they all knew, someone that could be broken and hurt. The thought of that scared her to death.

She turned the page to another song, this one called Twinkling Stars. It wasn’t about anything sad. The song had been inspired when her and Harvey were lying in the backyard one night staring up at the sky. She had thought about all the millions of stars in the world and how special each of them were. In that moment in the backyard, she had felt exactly like one of those special stars. And it was all because of the boy lying beside her. The lyrics talked about love and how it made you feel when you found the right person.

Instead of the vulnerable Kaley, the world would see love struck Kaley, the girl who was in a dream because of the boy she fell in love with. Everyone would know how deeply she felt about Harvey, the boy next door who had known her for almost forever. She hadn’t even told Harvey how much she felt for him, was she ready to tell the entire world?

It seemed impossible. Playing her songs was akin to bearing her soul, exposing it for people who might not be gentle with it. She imagined someone like Macy or her trio of mean girls hearing them. They would probably laugh and have enough ammunition to kill her spirit a thousand times over.

But if she didn’t let the songs go, Kaley knew she wouldn’t be able to live her dreams of being a musician. Perhaps by giving people her songs, they would understand her better. Understanding led to acceptance, perhaps things didn’t need to stay the same forever.

At the very least, she knew she had to try. The songbook wasn’t a secret anymore, everyone she loved knew about it. Trying to retreat into her shell now and pretend it didn’t exist wasn’t going to be an option. It was either suck it up now and try, or forever wonder what could have happened. And let everyone down in the process.

She snapped the songbook closed, making a decision. She would try. She would try to let go and open up more. If it all turned horrible and nasty, then at least she couldn’t be accused of being too scared to at least give it a go. She would find the courage somehow.

Chapter 3

The next day at school, the courage was still a little difficult to find. Especially when Eli Stone was standing right next to her.

So, anything new? he asked, rifling around in his locker.

Kaley grappled for something cool or new she could say. Yet her mind drew a complete and utter blank. You know, school and all. She