Rowing to the Silly Islands

By Louis Phillips

Louis Phillips, a widely published poet, playwright, and short story writer, has written some 50 books for children and adults. Among his published works are: five collections of short stories – A DREAM OF COUNTRIES WHERE NO ONE DARE LIVE (SMU Press), THE BUS TO THE MOON (Fort Schuyler Press), and THE WOMAN WHO WROTE KING LEAR AND OTHER STORIES (Pleasure Boat Studio), FIREWORKS IN SOME PARTICULARS (Fort Schuyler Press), and MUST I WEEP FOR THE DANCING BEAR (Pleasure Boat Studio). HOT CORNER, a collection of his baseball writings, and R.I. P. (a sequence of poems about Rip Van Winkle) from Livingston Press; THE ENVOI MESSAGES, and THE LAST OF THE MARX BROTHERS’ WRITERS, full-length plays, (Broadway Play Publishers). His books for children include: THE MAN WHO STOLE THE ATLANTIC OCEAN (Prentice Hall & Camelot Books), THE MILLION DOLLAR POTATO (Simon and Schuster), and HOW TO WRESTLE AN ALLIGATOR (Avon). His sequence of poems – The Time, The Hour, The Solitariness of the Place –was the co-winner in the Swallow’s Tale Press competition (1984). Among his published books of poems are: THE KRAZY KAT RAG (Light Reprint Press), BULKINGTON (Hollow Spring Press), THE TIME, THE HOUR, THE TIME, THE HOUR, THE SOLITARINESS OF THE PLACE (Swallow’s Tale Press), CELEBRATIONS & BEWILDERMENTS (Fragments Press). He edited BEST LOVED POEMS (Random House) and THE RANDOM HOUSE BOOK OF HUMOROUS VERSE. Other books include: GERTRUDE STEIN IN DAYTON & OTHER PLAYS; AMERICAN ELEGIES, and LATE NIGHT IN THE RAIN FOREST (World Audience Publishers) He teaches at the School of Visual Arts in NYC.

• Language: English
• Publisher: M. Stefan Strozier
• Release date: Apr 29, 2017
• ISBN: 9781530003150

Book preview

Published by World Audience, Inc.

ISBN 978-1530003150

©2016, Louis Phillips

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Copyright notice: All work contained within is the sole copyright of its author, 2015, and may not be reproduced without consent.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

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On Trying to Catch Up to the Undertaker’s Understudy and Poets of Edinburgh appeared originally in Light (Autumn-Winter, 2010-2011).

Historical Note on India’s Fight For Freedom From Colonial Rule appeared originally in Light (Spring-Summer 2011)

Mark Strand at the Strand Bookshop on Margate Strand appeared originally (under the title untitled) in 3rd Wednesday (Winter 2012)

The Majesty of Language and A 3rd Stanza For Dr. Johnson & Donald Hall appeared originally in Light Year ’86 (Cleveland: Bits Press, 1986)

The Most Ear-Grating Rhyme Ever appeared originally in The Dramatists Guild Quarterly (Winter 1995)

On Not Being Able to Read My Wife’s Handwriting appeared originally in Potomac Review (Fall, 1994)

The Philosopher Pens His Love Letter appeared originally in Santa Barbara Review.

On the Value of Having The Last Days of Pompeii in One’s Library and That Double-Headed Candle Again appeared originally in Troubadour.

Study For the Left Hand Alone appeared originally in Hawaii Review (Spring, 1987).

Missing Out appeared originally in Light Year ’85.

Heart Break in Tuktoyaktuk and "Why Contemporary American Poets Rarely write Epigrams of the Quality of Ben Jonson’s ‘On Gut’ appeared originally in Light Year ’87 (Cleveland: Bits Press, 1986).

Ralph Kramden Writes His First Sonnet appeared originally in The Arden, Vol. I (Spring/Summer, 1994).

Ode to Flash Gordon appeared originally in The Palo Alto Review.

Couplet to Celebrate the High Cost of Living in Manhattan, Summer in Manhattan, on Literary Elegance, Miniver Cheevy, Television Critic, A Quick Romp Thru Greek Literature, and Historical Note on India’s Fight For Freedom From Colonial Rule, appeared originally in Light: A Quarterly of Light Verse (Nos. 72-73, Spring-Summer, 2011)

A Critical Glance at William Carlos Williams’ Poem The Dance," appeared originally in Visiting Dr. Williams, edited by Sheila Coghill & Thom Tammaro (Iowa City: University of Iowa Press, (2011).

That Double-Headed Candle Again appeared originally in Troubadour.

Hail to the Chief appeared originally in The Washingtonian (March, 1972).

from The Big City Mother Goose and Lunch at the Standish Hotel appeared originally in Light Year ’85 (Cleveland: Bits Press, 1984).

Charles J. Correll and On National Data Banks appeared originally in Sometime the Cow Kick Your Head, edited by Robert Wallace (Cleveland: Bits Press, 1988)

Literary Note #1 & Literary Note #2 appeared originally in Off Course: A Literary Journal #63 (Winter 2015).

Manhattan Lullaby, Waking up Thinking About Billy the Kid, and Chaucerian Sonnet: A Tale of the Clark of Kent appeared originally in The Random House Treasury of Light Verse (1995)

Poets Often Use Rhyme Because Rhyming Makes Certain Ideas Easier to Memorize appeared originally In Light Year ’84 (Cleveland: Bits Press, 1983)

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This compendium of silliness & humor is humbly (yeah, sure) dedicated to the lowly & lordly members of the Briar Cliff Marching Band & Chowder Society, namely (in roughly alphabetical order: Russell Connor, Michael Burke, Jack Estes, Morty Schiff, Angelo Verga.

CONTENTS

PROLOGUE..............................................................7

A SMATTERING OF NONSENSE TO COME...........8

AMERICANA..........................................................24

A BIT OF PHILOSOPHY & SCIENCE....................34

A TOUCH OF GEOGRAPHY....................................45

HISTORY IN A REAR-VIEW MIRROR....................53

JUST FOOLING AROUND......................................59

LOVE, LUST, & STUFF LIKE THAT.......................72

LITERARY MATTERS.............................................79

PARODIES............................................................107

THE POLITICAL SCENE THEN & NOW..............119

THIS SPORTING LIFE (mostly baseball)..............125

THINKING ABOUT MOVIES................................137

UNCOLLECTED CLERIHEWS..............................148

SERIOUSLY HUMOROUS.....................................159

PROLOGUE

Up to my hips in midlife crisis, Diving bells & sieves,

I stand in my garden Of mammocking irises,

Killer roses, all weeds suspect, Awaiting a message from my Muse. At long last, her telegram arrives, But when I go inside the house

To find seven dollars & 85¢

The messenger turns around & leaves. That means I must traipse

To town, first to the bank,

Then to the Western Union Office. What inspiration is in store, & Must she send everything collect?

A SMATTERING OF THE KINDS OF NONSENSE TO COME

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ART NOTE

Childe Hassam? The Met has'em.

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THE VERSE WRITER'S LAMENT

What I like about prose

(I've debated this over a year) What I like about prose,

It looks so easy to write, my dear.

What I like about prose

(I've thought on this many a time) What I like about prose

Is how it dispenses with rhyme.

What I like about prose

(I've pondered this many a day) What I like about prose,

It says what it wants to say.

What I like about prose (Certainly it's all the rage!) What I like about prose,

It looks so full on the page.

THE STRANGE MYSTERIOUS POWERS OF LIGHT VERSE

You shall never know How many years

Have been added to your life Because you have read this verse.

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BORED IN CHURCH

Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John – How their preaching go on & on.

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ON TEACHING CREATIVE WRITING

(circa 2009)

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