How To Survive the Passing of Your Partner

By Tania Neskovic

In 2006, I was told my Husband’s lung disease (bronchiectasis) had turned terminal. This is the story of our journey in my own words. I wrote this firstly because I wanted to get down on paper what this experience had been to go through. In deciding to publish, I am hoping that I give others who are going through or gone through the loss of their partner the courage to be brave, to face the awful truth and come out the other end and face the future, whatever that may hold.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tania Neskovic
• Release date: May 30, 2017
• ISBN: 9781925332223

Tania Neskovic

Tania was born in Brisbane, Australia and now lives in Blackheath, Australia.She worked in Office Administration throughout her working career in large business and Government. A hobby that she has enjoyed is writing poetry since her teenage years.Tania’s interests are cooking, listening to music, musical theatre, reading romance novels, chick flicks, sci-fi and relaxing by the sea. Loves animals and has had dogs and cats throughout her life. She enjoys watching football (soccer), rugby league and the tennis. Being a bit of an adrenalin junkie, has done a tandem sky-dive, an aerobatic flight in a Tigermoth plane and an actual flight in a jet fighter plane with aerobatics and combat manoeuvres. Her biggest wish is to do a space flight with Virgin Galactic.

Book preview

HOW TO SURVIVE

THE

PASSING OF YOUR PARTNER

A guide of truth from experience

by

Tania L. Neskovic

Copyright © 2017 by Tania Neskovic

All rights reserved.

Smashwords Edition

No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author, except non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Cover designed by

Graphics by Sally

July 2008

My name is Tania Neskovic. I come from Brisbane, Australia, and this is the story of how I survived the death of my first husband, James ‘Peter’ Ashton in 2007. I am by no means an expert. This book is just the truth, in plain words, by an ordinary woman who faced and survived the loss of not just her husband, but her best friend, confidante and lover.

In writing this, I am hoping that it will help others through the trauma of losing their partner.

I dedicate this to Peter.

27/10/48 – 27/06/07

I'm Everything I Am Because You Loved Me – Celine Dion.

All My Love Always,

Tania.

Contents

For Peter

Chapter 1. The Beginning

Chapter 2. Living with the Cloud

Chapter 3. Facing the Truth

Chapter 4. Changes

Chapter 5. The Verdict

Chapter 6. A Year of Hell

Chapter 7. The Final Signs

Chapter 8. Plans

Chapter 9. Death

Chapter 10. Goodbye

Chapter 11. The Medium

Chapter 12. The Hard Milestones

Chapter 13. I’m Alive and Moving On

Chapter 14. Epilogue

About the Author

For Peter

How do you begin to say thank-you,

for a life with someone you have shared.

Have loved, have laughed and with whom you‘ve shed tears,

for someone till death you will have cared.

You came into my life,

when I was in desperate need of hope.

You gave me much needed direction,

when I was lost at sea and afloat.

I don’t understand why,

you now have to go away.

When we could of shared so much more,

when there’s so much more we could say.

I’m so grateful for all our plans that did come true,

I feel so sad for the ones that never will.

I’ll think of these things and you every day,

when time for us will eventually stand still.

I say these things now before it’s too late,

and I hope you’ll understand.

I love you and say Thank-you,

and then entrust you to the Lord’s hand.

All My Love,

Tania

Copyright Tania Lee Neskovic ©

Chapter 1. The Beginning

I was 24 when I met my first husband, James ‘Peter’ Ashton. (He liked to be called ‘Peter’ because his father was also called James.)

It was a total set-up. We both knew why we had been invited to a particular barbecue. I’m only a tiny 140cm (4ft 7in); he was 157cm (5ft 2in) – a match made in heaven, those who arranged it thought. I had actually made my mind up, after observation and being introduced, that I wasn’t going to go out on a first date. I concluded that we were from two different worlds and wouldn’t be compatible. For starters he was 42, 16 years older. He asked me out most unconventionally, though, in front of everybody present. I did the only thing I could do, and accepted. Rarely has a book been so unlike its cover. I soon came to realise that I had pre-judged this man unfairly.

A whirlwind romance began. He showered me with flowers he’d grown in his own garden, and cooked for me, his speciality being desserts. His pavlova became legendary within my family. How could I not marry a man that was so obviously a wonderful romantic?

We met in the January of 1990, got engaged on my grandmother’s birthday, June 4th, 1990, and married on November 10th, 1990. I never regretted walking down that aisle. I had the fairy-tale wedding most girls dream about.

Due to circumstances, it was not to be that we’d have children. I’d known since the age of 17 that I couldn’t have kids. He also, was sterile. With his age, it was not an option to adopt. We accepted the fact that we would never be parents.

Our life together was pure indulgence. We dined out regularly and, on special occasions, at the best restaurants. We had wonderful holidays, for