Strength for Parents of Missing Children: Surviving Divorce, Abduction, Runaways and Foster Care

By Marie White

Solo medalist winner of the 2017 New Apple Literary Award and winner of the 2018 bronze medal from Reader's Favorite.

"Strength for Parents of Missing Children" guides readers through life's journey and helps them find joy and deeper purpose in the midst of pain. It's "The Purpose Driven Life" for hard times. Marie has used the pain of her experience to reach out to others who are desperate for answers to whatever life throws at them.

While written with parents in mind, radio hosts, television hosts and reviewers have all said that it is a book for every human being.

Special features include:
-Inspiration Cards to cut out
-4 weeks of daily checklists
-Additional resources
-Free gifts

More than two million families in the United States have experienced a missing child. Numerous alienated parents, estranged grandparents, foster parents, pre-adoptive parents, and parents of drug-addicted children, are currently facing children missing from their lives.

Some people break down mentally or suffer from PTSD. Other people become pathologically depressed, or turn to drugs and alcohol. Many choose to end their suffering through suicide.

There are books that deal with stress, loneliness, or grief and loss. This is the first book to address all these issues in a comprehensive survival guide for hard times.

Expert interviews include:

Dr. Sue Cornbluth
Dr. Cornbluth is an expert in high-conflict divorce. She is a nationally recognized expert in parenting and childhood trauma and was named Woman of the Year 2016, by Women of Distinction Business Magazine.

Logan Clarke
Logan Clarke has spent more than 20 years finding missing children. As one of the top investigators in the world, Mr. Clarke has been profiled in several books, Newsweek, and television shows around the globe.

Dr. Tim Benson
Dr. Benson is a clinical instructor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. He specializes in treating elite athletes, celebrities and high achievers in the professional world. His areas of interest are in addiction treatment and fostering resilience in athletes and entrepreneurs.

Dr. Raymond Mitsch
Dr. Mitsch is the Associate Professor and chair of the Psychology Department at Colorado Christian University. He has worked for Promise Keepers, WorldVenture, The Evangelical Alliance Mission and authored the best-selling book, Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love.

Michael Jeffries
Mr. Jeffries is a speechwriter and former alienated-father. He turned his experience into the trailblazing book A Family's Heartbreak: A Parent's Introduction to Parental Alienation.

Covering topics such as:
-Depression
-PTSD
-Nutrition
-The body's reaction to stress
-Reunification
-Grief
Special features include:
-Inspiration Cards to cut out
-4 weeks of daily checklists
-Additional resources
-Free gifts

This is a book every family needs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Marie White
• Release date: Jun 24, 2017
• ISBN: 9781370102099

Marie White

Marie White is the author of eight books, including the multiple award-winning #1 bestseller "Strength for Parents of Missing Children: Surviving Divorce, Abduction, Runaways and Foster Care". She is also a TEDx speaker, director of publishing for Zamiz Press and the host of "Bible Stories for Adults" on YouTube with over a million views. She encourages people from all walks of life and experiencing a variety of struggles, to know that there is hope.You can connect with Marie at MarieWhiteAuthor.com.Her books include the children's books, "Sophia Wants to Write a Book" and "I Think of You" as well as the adult books, "Changing Your Life in Just Ten Days", "Ten Day Bible Study"...

Book preview

Strength for Parents of

Missing Children

SURVIVING DIVORCE, ABDUCTION, RUNAWAYS AND FOSTER CARE

Marie White

Smashwords Edition

Copyright © 2017 Marie White

Unless otherwise noted, Scriptures are taken from THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

The information in this book is not intended to replace the advice of a physician. It is for informational purposes only and any supplement, diet, or exercise program should be started under the advisement of a physician. Author and publisher are not responsible.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the publisher, addressed Attention: Permissions Coordinator, at the address below.

Strength for Parents of Missing Children: Surviving Divorce,

Abduction, Runaways and Foster Care / Marie White —2nd ed

ISBN-13: 978-1-945384-09-7

ISBN-13: 978-1-945384-08-0

ISBN-13: 978-1-945384-18-9

Cover Design: Rob Williams

Endorsements

This is an outstanding book that addresses the social, physiologic, and psychologic ramifications of divorce related stress. I highly recommend it and wish it had been around at the beginning of my journey.

-Dr. Carlos Rivera

pediatrician and radio

host of In the Best Interest of the Children

Christians who hand their pain to God, will find out that He is big enough. Marie walks parents through their pain with God’s love.

-Steve Carter

founder of Playbook to Millions

international speaker and success coach

"You don't have to hurt as much as you are. Anybody can crawl out of a deep hole. This book is designed

to help you see that."

-Dr. Sue Cornbluth

Parental Alienation Syndrome Expert

"No one's ever made a guidebook for parents who lose their children. When I saw this, I knew it was exactly what people needed. Marie makes a horrific topic—inspiring!

-Bill Walsh

CEO Powerteam International

America's Small Business Expert

Contents

Part One

Struggling to Breathe

Three Battlefields

Every Thought Captive

The Edge of Survival

When Time Won’t Stop

Guilt— the Hidden Hurt

Two Halves of a Broken Heart

Not Wandering Alone

Waiting on the Miraculous

The Trial is the Gift

Don’t Give Up

A Happy Ending

Part Two

Stories of Hope

Experts Weigh In

Logan Clarke

Dr. Sue Cornbluth

Dr. Raymond Mitsch

Dr. Timothy Benson

Michael Jeffries

Endnotes & Links

Free Gifts

Additional Help

Special Thanks

Part Three

Inspiration Cards

Daily Checklists

Dedication

To Jason, my rock.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one. ?

- C.S. Lewis

I

Part One

Chapter 1

Struggling to Breathe

Though I’ve never met you, I know you like no one else can.

Night after night, day after day, you face every parent’s worst nightmare. You don’t do it because you are exceptional or strong or smart. You do it because you’re forced to. You do it because getting your child back is your first thought in the morning, last thought at night, and every moment in-between.

Sometimes your imagination takes you places that no one should go; contemplating things that should never be imagined. Internal screams and an unbearable weight pushes you down and makes you wonder if you can go on. There are some parents who break down mentally. Others turn to suicide, drugs or alcohol. You can’t afford to do this. Your child is worth too much and your story too powerful to end like that. But, how do you continue when it seems like the world is upside down?

What are the spiritual aspects of having a missing child? How do you combat the stress that your body and mind are under? How can you help your family cope and find purpose during this struggle?

There is beauty in the journey, regardless of the outcome. Let’s grieve and hope and fight, together.

There is a hero inside of you. You are the main character in an epic struggle between good and evil. Let’s travel to the dark places of grief together and climb out, where we can see the bigger picture.

Shakespeare wrote, Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. That is true of you as well. You can either be crushed by this horrific event and lose your sanity, your family and your life. Or, you can take this pain that was thrust upon you, to propel you into greatness. You can make it through this. I know it’s hard.

Can you keep your faith when your child is abducted, alienated, has run away or is taken into foster care? How do you make it through the darkest days? Why is this happening to you? How could God allow this?

Make up your mind ahead of time to forgive me. I will offend you. Our friends, in their attempts at consolation, have done it to us a thousand times. When words are said that cut your heart into a million pieces, remember that nobody says the right thing all the time.

Trust me with your heart and with your pain. Some things may be hard to hear, but you’re becoming an expert at really hard things and you’re stronger than you think.

I know your pain. When a day without tears is rare and holidays rip you apart. From the falling leaves to the coming of spring, each special moment of the year is dulled by pain.

Looking back at our journey I see the beauty that was in those hard times. From the ashes of my old life a new person has emerged, more caring, more sensitive, stronger and full of deeper purpose. I know that God is still in control, even in the moments when it feels like He has abandoned us. Or, as H.G. Wells said, If there is no God, nothing matters. If there is a God, nothing else matters.

As a little girl I was terrified of the horrifying screeches cats made at night. Breathing beneath my covers, it seemed like an eternity before I could fall asleep. It wasn’t until I dreamt that a cat came after my baby sister that I stopped being afraid. Protecting her filled me with courage and I wrestled the cat to the ground. In that moment, I realized that if I was fighting for someone, I could be fearless.

And so can you. You are learning to be fearless and becoming who you were always meant to be. You were meant to be a warrior.

It is no coincidence that throughout the Bible God refers to us as soldiers going into battle. Right now we are battling spiritual forces on our knees.

First, realize that we are in a war, an epic battle between good and evil. Right now you feel like evil has won. With your child missing from your arms, you have never been more aware that life is a battlefield.

John Eldridge wrote, Life is now a battle and a journey. This is the truest explanation of what is going on, the only way to rightly understand our experience...Life is a desperate quest through dangerous country to a destination that is beyond our wildest hopes, indescribably good.

The destination is indescribably good, not the journey.

You are standing in the middle of a battle. As you watch people being destroyed, remember that war here is only preparation for a future which God says is without fear or heartbreak (Revelation 21:4).

But how do you fight this battle and what exactly are you fighting for? Let’s find out in the next chapter as we learn to create our battle plan.

Until you know that life is war, you cannot know what prayer is for. —John Piper

Journal entry, one week into our journey:

I imagine that tomorrow should be the last day of all-day crying. I can feel the tears beginning to taper off. We are in the dark as to what God is going to do. But 2 Thessalonians 3:1-3 says, As for other matters, brothers and sisters, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you. And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil people, for not everyone has faith. But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one.

I know that it has only been a little over a week, but it feels like our child has been gone forever. How foolish of me to lament what is not even a speck of dust compared to eternity, but I still cry.

I miss my child.

I cry out to God all day, How much longer, Lord?

I know that I will look back and see that only a moment passed and that God used that moment in a mighty way. He has a plan for this time and it’s necessary to accomplish His purpose. But it’s still painful and I just want it to be over.

However, I trust God’s timeline.

He will have to make me strong enough to hold on until then.

Last night I was praying and shedding tears until a little past midnight. I missed my child so much that I could hardly breathe.

I asked God:

Why?

How long?

How much pain do we have to endure?

What are we supposed to learn from this?

What is Your plan?

Right now, my family depends on me to keep them in a good place. I have to be strong for them. They are all watching me and if I crumble, they crumble too. The old saying is true, If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.

I go in the garden and put headphones in both ears, blasting the music. If I want to sing along then I am free to do so. There is no one outside at six in the morning.

I usually start out with songs that mimic the cry of my heart.

I cry a lot in the garden.

After a little while I find myself looking up at the sky and praising God for His goodness, bigger than the sky. He is watching over our child, my family and I. He is big enough. He is still good.

***

A few months after our child was abducted I remember looking in the mirror at church, not recognizing the person I saw. I thought, How can I look this put together, when I’m falling apart inside?

Some days were on-the-floor, open-mouth-sobbing, kind of days. I would try to keep it together and finally I would put down the broom, shut my bedroom door and give in to the pain.

Sobbing on the floor, was where I needed to be. Then, when the sobs felt forced, I got up, wiped my face and went back to sweeping.

***

Two years later I still want to tell everyone I meet at the store or on the street that our child is missing. They need to know. How can the world keep turning while our child is gone?

Through this horrible event I have become aware that every person goes through serious trials. You and I know, in a way that no one else does, that we will never be the same.

But what if we aren’t supposed to be? William Arthur Ward wrote, Adversity causes some men to break: others to break records.

In the coming chapters, we will learn about suffering and hope in this evil world. We will venture into the valley of the shadow of death and see if we can make it out alive.

Are you ready? Let’s look at the three aspects of our lives that are being attacked right now and how we can combat them.

Chapter 2

Three Battlefields

The battle you and I are facing is multi-faceted. We face the reality that our emotions are no longer in our control,