Drama Fraternity: A Nicky and Noah Mystery: Nicky and Noah Mysteries, #6

By Joe Cosentino

Theatre professor Nicky Abbondanza is directing Tight End Scream Queen, a slasher movie filmed at Treemeadow College's football fraternity house, co-starring his husband and theatre professor colleague, Noah Oliver. When young hunky cast members begin fading out with their scenes, Nicky and Noah will once again need to use their drama skills to figure out who is sending the quarterback, jammer, wide receiver, and more to the cutting room floor before Nicky and Noah hit the final reel. You will be applauding and shouting Bravo for Joe Cosentino's fast-paced, side-splittingly funny, edge-of-your-seat entertaining sixth novel in this delightful series. Lights, camera, action, frat house murders!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Joe Cosentino
• Release date: May 25, 2018
• ISBN: 9781370944347

Joe Cosentino

JOE COSENTINO was voted Favorite MM Mystery, Humorous, and Contemporary Author of the Year by the readers of Divine Magazine for Drama Queen, the first Nicky and Noah mystery novel. He is also the author of the remaining Nicky and Noah mysteries: Drama Muscle, Drama Cruise, Drama Luau, Drama Detective, Drama Fraternity, Drama Castle, Drama Dance, Drama Faerie, Drama Runway, Drama Christmas, Drama Pan, Drama TV, Drama Oz, Drama Prince, Drama Merry, Drama Daddy, and Drama King; the Player Piano Mysteries: The Player and The Player's Encore; the Jana Lane Mysteries: Paper Doll, Porcelain Doll, Satin Doll, China Doll, Rag Doll; the Cozzi Cove series: Cozzi Cove: Bouncing Back, Moving Forward, Stepping Out, New Beginnings, Happy Endings; the In My Heart Anthology: An Infatuation & A Shooting Star; the Tales from Fairyland Anthology: The Naked Prince and Other Tales from Fairyland and Holiday Tales from Fairyland; the Bobby and Paolo Holiday Stories Anthology: A Home for the Holidays, The Perfect Gift, The First Noel; and the Found At Last Anthology: Finding Giorgio and Finding Armando. His books have won numerous Book of the Month awards and Rainbow Award Honorable Mentions. As an actor, Joe appeared in principal roles in film, television, and theatre, opposite stars such as Bruce Willis, Rosie O'Donnell, Nathan Lane, Jason Robards, and Holland Taylor. He received his Master of Fine Arts degree from Goddard College, Master's degree from SUNY New Paltz, and is a happily married emeritus college theatre professor residing in New York State.

Book preview

Praise for the Nicky and Noah mysteries:

Joe Cosentino has a unique and fabulous gift. His writing is flawless, and his use of farce, along with his convoluted plot-lines, will have you guessing until the very last page, which makes his books a joy to read. His books are worth their weight in gold, and if you haven't discovered them yet you are in for a rare treat. —Divine Magazine

a combination of Laurel and Hardy mixed with Hitchcock and Murder She Wrote…Loaded with puns and one-liners…Right to the end, you are kept guessing, and the conclusion still has a surprise in store for you. —Optimumm Book Reviews

adventure, mystery, and romance with every page….Funny, clever, and sweet….I can’t find anything not to love about this series….This read had me laughing and falling in love….Nicky and Noah are my favorite gay couple. —Urban Book Reviews

For fans of Joe Cosentino's hilarious mysteries, this is another vintage story with more cheeky asides and sub plots right left and centre….The story is fast paced, funny and sassy. The writing is very witty with lots of tongue-in-cheek humour….Highly recommended. —Boy Meets Boy Reviews

This delightfully sudsy, colorful cast of characters would rival that of any daytime soap opera, and the character exchanges are rife with sass, wit and cagey sarcasm….As the pages turn quickly, the author keeps us hanging until the startling end. —Edge Media Network

A laugh and a murder, done in the style we have all come to love….This had me from the first paragraph….Another wonderful story with characters you know and love! —Crystals Many Reviewers

These two are so entertaining….Their tactics in finding clues and the crazy funny interactions between characters keeps the pages turning. For most of the book if I wasn't laughing I was grinning. —Jo and Isa Love Books

Superb fun from start to finish, for me this series gets stronger with every book and that’s saying something because the benchmark was set so very high with book 1. —Three Books Over the Rainbow

The Nicky and Noah Mysteries series are perfect for fans of the Cozy Mystery sub-genre. They mix tongue-in-cheek humor, over-the-top characters, a wee bit of political commentary, and suspense into a sweet little mystery solved by Nicky and Noah, theatre professors for whom all the world’s a stage. —Prism Book Alliance

This is one hilarious series with a heart and it just keeps getting better. I highly recommend them all, and please read them in the order they were written for full blown laugh out loud reading pleasure! —Scattered Thoughts and Rogue Words

Books by Joe Cosentino

The Nicky and Noah Comedy Mystery Series:

Drama Queen

Drama Muscle

Drama Cruise

Drama Luau

Drama Detective

Drama Fraternity

The Cozzi Cove series (NineStar Press):

Cozzi Cove: Bouncing Back

Cozzi Cove: Moving Forward

Cozzi Cove: Stepping Out

Cozzi Cove: New Beginnings

The Dreamspinner Press novellas:

In My Heart: An Infatuation & A Shooting Star

The Naked Prince and Other Tales from Fairyland

Bobby and Paolo Holiday Stories: A Home for the Holidays and The Perfect Gift

The Jana Lane Mysteries:

Paper Doll

Porcelain Doll (The Wild Rose Press)

Satin Doll (The Wild Rose Press)

China Doll (The Wild Rose Press)

Rag Doll (The Wild Rose Press)

Drama Fraternity

a Nicky and Noah mystery

Joe Cosentino

Copyright © 2018 Joe Cosentino

Published 2018 in the USA

First Edition

This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s very vivid imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the author.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

The content of this book is not meant to diagnose, treat, or prevent any illness or condition. This novel is for mature readers.

Cover Art and Design by Holly McCabe

Editing and interior design by Fred Wolinsky

Table of Contents

Cast of Characters

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Epilogue

About the Author

To Fred for everything,

to the readers who begged for another Nicky and Noah mystery,

and to everyone who loves some good action.

Cast of Characters

Cast and Crew of Tight End Scream Queen:

Nicky Abbondanza, Professor of Play Directing, Director

Noah Oliver, Nicky’s husband, Professor of Acting, Coach David Doubt

Martin Anderson, Theatre Department Head/Professor of Theatre Management, Dean B.J. Now

Ruben Markinson, Martin’s husband, Producer

Shayla Johnson, Theatre Department’s ex-Office Assistant, Bea Watches, the Dean’s administrative assistant

Taavi Kapule, Nicky and Noah’s son, Davey Doubt at age 10

Alejandro Gallo, Detective Erogely

Blanche Gallo, Alejandro’s wife, Director of Photography

Robert Lee, Screenwriter

Malcolm Kahue, Tight End Davey Doubt at age 20

Lenny Benedetto, Wide Receiver

Petey Collins, Jammer

Bonnie Tyler, Lenny’s girlfriend, Wide Receiver’s girlfriend

Tibald Regina, Quarterback

Cornelia Thomas, Phi Delta BOFO Fraternity House Mother, Caterer

Soyal Thomas, Cornelia’s daughter, fraternity house maid, Prop Mistress

Petey’s Parents and Minister:

Comey Collins, Petey’s father, Church Trustee

Jayne Collins, Petey’s mother, Church Secretary

Pastor Karl Bounty

Nicky and Noah’s Parents:

Valentina (Mama) and Giacomo (Papa) Abbondanza, Nicky’s Parents

Bonnie (Mom) and Scott (Dad) Oliver, Noah’s Parents

The Law:

Detective Jose Manuello

Dick Magnus, lawyer at Dick’s Law

We’ll Never Tell:

Harry Balls

Martin Scorcrazy

Rump Topper

Rev. Bucks Plenty

CHAPTER ONE

The star-laden violet summer sky surrounded the sloped mountains, inky lake, and Victorian-style white fraternity house like a soft blanket. Inside the last bedroom on the third floor, a young man reached a muscular arm around a petite young woman as they lay in T-shirts and shorts on the white four-poster bed. They shared a kiss as his jet-black hair and her blonde locks glistened in the moonlight. The girl peeled off her T-shirt revealing small nubile breasts. Then she pulled off his, exposing wide pectoral muscles and washboard abdominals.

His dark eyes widened. We can’t! We signed our virgin cards. We’ll go to Hell.

All college football players and cheerleaders go to Heaven. She unzipped his fly and slid off his shorts, unleashing his firm, muscular buttocks. Then the young woman slipped off her own shorts and pulled him on top of her. Don’t you want me to take you to Heaven, baby?

His olive-colored skin grew pale. I’ve never done this before.

She reached down below. I’ll hold on to this like a football and help you make a touchdown.

They kissed. She cried out in excitement as he entered her. Her cries soon turned to moans of pleasure as she pulled his hips in closer to her, and then up and down in a solid rhythm.

Gazing into her lover’s dark eyes, she noticed the silhouette of a young man in a football jersey and helmet. The girl gasped as the visitor raised a large wooden cross over the bed. Then she let out a blood curdling scream as a blade at the bottom of the cross plunged into her boyfriend’s wide back, splattering thick burgundy-colored blood over the white sheets.

The killer chuckled in a guttural tone. Goal!

In a state of panic, she pushed the dead young man off her, and frantically ran out of the room shouting for help.

Score! The murderer guffawed in maniacal delight.

Cut! That was me, Nicky Abbondanza, Associate Professor of Play Directing at Treemeadow College, a quaint private college in the quaint town of Treemeadow in the quaint state of Vermont in the not so quaint United States of America. What am I doing standing behind a camera directing a movie in a fraternity house at Treemeadow College?

It all started with Harold Tree and Jacob Meadow, a wealthy gay couple who founded the college a century ago. They paved the way for couples like Martin and Ruben, and Noah and me."

Standing to my right, Martin Anderson’s tiny hands fanned his bald head down to his thin neck. Watching that scene made me blush, Nicky.

Why? Because you can’t wait to get the dirt on the actors’ personal lives? Martin’s husband, Ruben Markinson, stood opposite Martin with a smirk on his aging face.

I can’t help it if I take an interest in other people’s lives, Martin said to his husband.

Ruben replied, "An interest! That’s like saying a scavenger is interested in a deer carcass laced with honey."

Wearing a chartreuse bowtie and sweater vest, my department head and best friend glared at his spouse. "Ruben, there’s something you should know for tonight about your personal life, or lack thereof."

In a chartreuse leisure suit, our producer grinned devilishly at his husband. Hm, I wonder if it’s too late to ask a has-been movie star to play your role in the film, Martin?

I am not a ‘has-been.’ I’m only middle-aged!

You mean born in the Middle Ages?

The elderly couple burst out laughing at their own antics. Martin, somewhere between seventy and decomposition and standing about five feet tall, blew a kiss at his taller husband who caught it and placed it over his heart. Then Martin turned to me. You’re a one-take wonder, Nicky. One take for the long shot. One take for Bonnie’s close-up. And one take for Lenny’s close-up. Good work on the scene!

Ruben patted his pocket. And we in the producer’s office appreciate that.

As do we actors. I smelled strawberries as my husband and colleague Noah Oliver, Assistant Professor of Acting, kissed my cheek. Great scene, Nicky.

I returned the kiss. You did a terrific job working with the three young actors on their actions, objectives, emotional beats, and characters.

My husband inspires me. He kissed my sideburn.

I know the feeling. If I do say so myself, Noah and I make an adorable couple in our usual attire: dress shirts, slacks, and blazers.

"Soon we’ll be shooting my scene," Noah said with excitement.

We’ll be shooting something tonight. I winked at Noah.

He licked his lips. Alas for now, duty calls. I need to check up on our son.

Where is he?

In the kitchen with Cornelia, the frat house mother.

Make sure he knows his lines for the upcoming scene.

Noah placed a delicate hand on his trim hip. He learned his lines before I learned mine! Taavi can’t wait to get in front of the camera.

Like fathers, like son. As Noah left the room, I gazed at his long blond hair, crystal blue eyes, and lean cut body. My pants tightened. And they were pretty snug already. You Nicky and Noah mystery fans know why. I’ll bring you newbies up to speed. Accent on up. I’m tall with dark hair, long sideburns, emerald eyes, a Roman nose, olive-colored skin, muscles courtesy of our campus gym, and a nearly foot-long penis. This is no tall tale (no pun intended).

But enough about little (or not so little) Nick. Back to our story. After I starred opposite Noah in a new musical play at Treemeadow College last summer, we took sabbaticals and headed for the Great White Way. But it wasn’t so great. Sure, we won Bravos! and Tony Awards, but the glamorous life of living in the city that never sleeps grew as tiring as a child with ADD on a sugar high at Christmas after stealing his mother’s uppers. No longer dazzled by the bright lights and flashing marquees of Broadway, we longed for our little hamlet, and our not so little Victorian house (actually the college’s house) in Treemeadow—especially when an offer came my way to direct Tight End Scream Queen, a low budget indie slasher film. When I read the screenplay, I couldn’t help thinking of Williams, Hawthorne, Alcott, Twain, Wilde, Hemingway, and Fitzgerald. How they would be turning in their graves. Okay, the script was crap, but the plot intrigued me.

Clearly there would be no Academy Awards in Tight End Scream Queen’s future, however, it was to be my film directorial debut. And it would be shot at our own Treemeadow College! The selected location was the Phi Delta BOFO (Ball on the Field Only) Christian football players’ fraternity house. More importantly, there were roles in the film for Noah, Taavi, Martin, and Martin’s ex-administrative assistant Shayla Johnson. Of course, Martin’s husband Ruben Markinson would produce. One of our female theatre majors (Bonnie Tyler) and three male BOFO Fraternity brothers (Petey Collins, Lenny Benedetto, and Tibald Regina) would appear in the film alongside two stars (Alejandro Gallo and Malcolm Kahue). I was sold, or rather bought.

Standing next to the bed after finishing the scene, Lenny looked down at the sock covering his genitals. It’s still in place.

No surprise, Bonnie replied in a G-string.

They headed for the bureau and put on their robes.

Lenny ran a strong hand through his dark thick locks. How do you think our scene went?

Bonnie answered, You seemed really hot for me. I guess you’re a good actor.

"I am hot for you, Bonnie."

And Alexander the Great was hot for Roxana, Bonnie said while putting on her eyeglasses.

I joined them. The scene was sheer magic, you two!

Thanks, professor. I had to use my imagination like Professor Oliver taught us in acting class. Bonnie smirked at Lenny. Since that’s the most action Lenny has ever seen in bed.

Lenny pulled Bonnie over to the window and whispered, Is this about the abstinence-until-marriage pact the brothers signed at BOFO?

Yes! Shooting this scene was the closest we’ve gotten to each other in months, Lenny, Bonnie said with a pout.

Lenny lifted her chin with his thick thumb. Don’t make me choose between my love for you and my love for Jesus.

Bonnie flicked back her blonde hair. Didn’t Jesus have enough men with the twelve disciples? Why does he need you too?

Lenny drew her into his strong chest. Bonnie, you know my faith is important to me.

"And am I important to you?"

I’d kill for you, baby.

I noticed the star of our movie, Malcolm Kahue, take off his football helmet and sit on my director’s chair. Not one to be territorial (except over my husband, son, house, college, something I’m directing, or any thought in my head if someone disagrees with me), I moved over to Malcolm. Are you feeling okay?

The twenty-three-year-old looked up at me with bedroom gray eyes. He stretched his arms, and bulging biceps appeared like melons on sale outside a fruit market (no pun intended). Playing this role is killing me.

Yes, how difficult it must be to put on a football uniform, wave a wooden cross, and get paid thousands of dollars. You did fine in the scene, Malcolm. And equally well in the exterior scenes we shot around campus.

His dimples appeared. "It’s a whirlwind. Only a week to shoot a whole movie. I had two months to shoot Full Moon in upstate New York."

I’m sure playing a young werewolf who mooned people presented quite a challenge for your bubble butt.

"But this role in Tight End Scream Queen is hitting me right here. Malcolm pressed his fist between his wide pectoral muscles. I want to do justice to the character of Davey Doubt."

Perhaps you’d like to speak with our author for some background information? I pointed to a young Asian man in his twenties, sitting on a powder blue wingback chair next to the fireplace.

Malcolm looked over.