From There to Here: Finding Victory After Trauma

By Carol Cyr

Within a split second, life can change forever. The comforts, conveniences, and relationships we take for granted can be lost without warning. Trauma comes to us all at some point in our lives, whether as a sudden shift or a slow erosion of trust, but God’s plan for our lives—our divine destiny—will stand firm. We can be victorious through trauma and come out on the other side more whole and complete than ever before. With God leading us, trauma isn’t the end of our story … it’s just the beginning!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Word Alive Press
• Release date: May 11, 2018
• ISBN: 9781486615766

Book preview

What people are saying

This inspiring book takes you by the hand and walks you through every step you need to find healing from all sorts of trauma that life can bring. Carol’s transparency, vulnerability, and humour will open your heart as she leads you on the journey from There to Here. Read it, engage the disciplines, and allow God to transform you in the deepest levels of your being, and experience life to the fullest.

—Lori Crawford, Senior Leadership

Centralia Faith Tabernacle Equipping Centre

Beginning with the first page, it is very obvious that Carol has the ability to tell a spectacular story. One of the most amazing things about it is that it is all true. You will walk with her through the valleys and climb to the mountaintops of her journey of tears, faith, and triumph.

—George Woodward

St. Catharines, Ontario

Although I have never been personally through the trials and trauma of a car accident, I have been through this journey with many patients. I always thought I understood the complexity of the trauma and struggle to recovery for my patients, but this book has made me realize it is so much more. I can’t possibly understand the depth of a patients suffering in a fifteen-minute appointment.

From the physician perspective, traumatic brain injuries can be frustrating. Since the healing course often waxes and wanes, we go through a lot of treatment failure, and patients continue to suffer, leading the physician to feel defeated. Your book has definitely served as a reminder of hope for both patients and health care practitioners.

I think in situations when hope is lost, having faith and spirituality are extremely important, and are often overlooked by doctors today. This book is an excellent reminder and serves as anecdotal evidence for the role of spirituality in healing. So much time and energy is spent with doctors, chiropractors, massage therapists, physical therapists, dentists, psychologists, and so on, just as Carol describes in her book. These are all taught to young medical practitioners as therapeutic options for brain trauma. What is lacking is the spiritual aspect. More time should be considered for faith and spirituality. In the future, I will be able to recommend this to the right patients in my practice.

An inspiring read for anyone who has suffered, or is currently suffering from, any level of trauma.

—Dr. Andrew Prout, MD, CCFP, MSc

Carol has written a must-read for anyone on a journey of recovery and restoration from one of life’s many unexpected traumas. From her own personal experience, Carol shares from an authentic genuine heart with unashamed transparency and hope, sprinkled with her inspiring humour; she is determined to see others move From There to Here.

—Cathy Prout, Senior Pastor

Centralia Faith Tabernacle Equipping Centre

Carol takes the reader through her desperate journey to find relief from her chronic pain after her car accident. In her search, she finds not just physical relief, but discovers a closer relationship with God that had been guiding her every step. A must read for all those living with chronic pain.

—Dr. Mary Elliott Huyzen, PhD

FROM THERE TO HERE

Copyright © 2018 by Carol Cyr

All rights reserved. Neither this publication nor any part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the author.

The views and opinions expressed in this publication belong solely to the author, and do not reflect those of Word Alive Press or any of its employees.

This book is intended to provide helpful information on the subjects discussed, and is not a substitution for medical advice. As in all matters of health, please consult a physician before undertaking any changes to diet, exercise, and medication.

Unless otherwise indicated, scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2007 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (MSG) are taken from The Message. Copyright © by Eugene H. Peterson 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group. Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (NKJV) are taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Scripture quotations marked (VOICE) are taken from The Voice™. Copyright © 2008 by Ecclesia Bible Society. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Unless otherwise indicated, definitions are taken from the Merriam-Webster’s Online Dictionary, www.merriam-webster.com

EPUB Version: 978-1-4866-1576-6

Word Alive Press

119 De Baets Street, Winnipeg, MB R2J 3R9

www.wordalivepress.ca

Cataloguing in Publication may be obtained through Library and Archives Canada

This book is dedicated to my husband, Dave.

His calm and steadfast manner has held me steady when the waves were above my head.

Thank you for being you!

Table of Contents

Shout Outs

Foreword

The Beginning

1. The Trauma

The God Factor

2. Falling Down

The Unravelling

3. The Fog of Deception

Driven to Doing

4. The Black Hole

From Denial to Depression

5. Coming into Reality

Under Cover

6. Boundaries Are Good

Boundaries

7. Fact, Faith, Feelings

Discouragement

8. Grace

amazing Grace

9. Finances Get in the Way

Trust

10. I Once Was Blind

Renewing your Mind

11. The Jaw

Expectations

12. The Jaw Two

Positive Confession

13. Out with the Old

Old Patterns, New Pathways

14. Now I See

vision

15. Brain Talk

Mind/Brain Connection

16. Loosen Up and Stretch Out

Loosening and Stretching

17. Pain

Choose to Change

18. Faith to Believe

Faith, Hope, and Love

19. Walk the Talk

Revelation and Responsibility

20. Breakthrough

Deep Freedom and Mentorship

21. Focus is Everything

Focus

22. I Thought I Was Healed

Pride

23. Expanding Boundaries

anger

24. The End of the Beginning

Shout Outs

Thank you, Jesus, for pulling me up from under and placing me in heavenly places right next to you.

Thank you to my husband, Dave, who has stood with me and supported me without complaint or doubt that I would push through into victory. His constant love through difficult days continues to be an anchor for me. His patience is never ending.

To my children, Adam and his wife Crystal, and Nikki and Casey, and to my G-children to date, Warren, Quinn, and Lucy: You allowed me to be me and showed me that it doesn’t matter what I can or cannot do, I am still loved and valuable and can contribute in ways I never thought possible.

To my mentor, pastor, and friend, Cathy Prout: I appreciate your sacrifice in helping me see the real me. Thank you for being the shepherd God has made you. You are not afraid to come after the one sheep. I can’t imagine what life would be like without you as a friend. You make me laugh.

To my friend and teacher, Lori Crawford: You are such an encourager, and I am blessed beyond what you will ever know to have you in my life. Without your support and encouragement, this book would not be what it is, and the potential for others that lies within these pages would not have come to reality.

To my editors, Lori Crawford, Casey Cyr, Nikki Cyr, Maggie Jinks, and Yvonne Reynolds: Thank you for dotting the i’s and crossing the t’s in the right places.

To the team at Word Alive Press: Thank you for all of your encouragement and help.

Nikki Cyr, thank you for helping me to publish this book. The cover is the best, and you never cease to amaze me with the way you are using the gifts God has given you.

To my many friends and relatives and all those who had their part to play: You played it well; thank you.

May God multiply back into all your lives all you have poured into me.

Blessings to all.

—Carol Cyr

Foreword

What do you do when you encounter an out-of-your-control experience that takes your life in the here and hides it over there? You begin a brave and courageous journey of restoration!

Carol’s journey of recovery and restoration is a powerful and timely message of hope. Many of us hold great aspirations for our lives, but we’re often hindered by events and circumstances. We’re not meant to live under our experiences or be trapped by them. Carol’s message has the transformational power to liberate anyone stuck in a cycle of hopelessness and despair.

I am inspired and encouraged as I read this book, because there is life and hope found in its pages. It’s a comprehensive and holistic guide to progressing through trauma and pain of all sorts—emotional, physical, and spiritual. I’m confident that by reading and implementing the truths found in this book, people will regain what they have lost.

Carol’s personal stories and declarations will infuse the reader with hope to believe for and apprehend recovery from pain and/or loss. Her writing provides a brilliant context for the struggles we face in our emotional and physical world, while creating a solid pathway to step into new realms of health and wholeness.

Carol is a woman of deep faith, courage, and perseverance. She has authority in the area of restoration because she has journeyed through it, discovering how to partner with truth to change the way she thinks. Each chapter contains strategic keys to empowering one to live on top of the out-of-control experience that introduced a path of pain. I believe these keys will unlock greater freedom and healing in each life.

I am so proud of Carol as her pastor, mentor, and friend. She is real, raw, and relational— not to mention, hilariously funny. She took something that was designed to bring her destiny to a halt and repurposed it to catapult her into that destiny, helping countless others to do the same. I watched as she wrestled and won. I watched as she wanted to quit but didn’t. I watched her determine that the abundant life promised to her was going to be hers, and indeed it is! Most of all, I watched her steadfastly journey from there to here.

—Pastor Cathy Prout

Centralia Faith Tabernacle Equipping Centre

Are you tired?

Are you worn out?

Are you burned out on doing things your way?

Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.

Walk with me and work with me; watch how I do it.

Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.

I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.

Keep company with me, and you will learn to live freely and lightly.

Author

Jesus of Nazareth

Son of God

Matthew 11:28–30 (paraphrased)

The Message

The Beginning

Trauma changes everything. It’s that split second that our whole world comes crashing down, or the slow and repetitive assault of needs not being met that wears on us day after day. It’s the feeling of a deep, deep loss that lodges itself in the core of our being; it’s hopelessness at its finest hour.

When an unexpected trauma in 2008 launched me onto a path that threatened to take me out, I had some choices to make. I was left stranded somewhere between wanting to die and wanting to fight. No matter which path I decided to take, I was going to have to face pain that I, myself, would have never chosen to look at.

While it’s important to understand that God is never the source of trauma, He can and will use everything that happens in our lives to cause us to come into the fullness of who He created us to be. There is no situation too dark for God to come and set us free from. He brings strategies, healing, and wholeness in ways that are unique to each person and each situation.

As you read through my story, you’ll hear of the ways God not only moved me through trauma, but used it to reveal dark areas and transform me into the woman He had always called me to be. Only God can do that.

No matter what trauma you have faced, whether it was caused by a sudden loss or a slow leak of life over the years, God has a way through the pain. There is another side. My prayer is that you would take each part of my story as an opportunity to open your heart and hear what God is saying to you. I’ve included some tools that helped me move through the reality of the pain and fear of what my future would look like after trauma.

I believe that you have picked up this book for this moment. Allow God to help you let go of where you used to be in order to embrace who He’s created you to be. The journey ahead isn’t an easy road, but there is a fullness awaiting you on the other side and a God who loves you and wants to walk with you through every twist and turn. The most important thing you could ever know as you continue to move ahead on your journey is this—you are not alone.

Chapter One

The Trauma

I didn’t hear the sirens. Maybe they all came in silence—the police, ambulance, and fire trucks—each one hoping for the best but expecting that it could be the worst. I remember driving down the highway, cruising along on Thursday, March 13, 2008. Groceries had been purchased, Ruth Fazal was playing Songs of the River, and Friday was coming. Life was grand. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was living the dream.

I saw the truck stopped on the right side of the intersection ahead and a car coming from the left side. I had the right of way at this intersection, but the car to my left looked like it wasn’t going to stop. All at once it was a blur of thoughts: That car isn’t slowing down! What do I do? Where can I go? God help me! There was nowhere to go but straight ahead, so I held on tight, slammed the brakes hard, and right before my eyes saw the side mirror of a silver vehicle. In the midst of such chaos, I had never felt such peace and tranquility as I did in those few seconds before my life changed forever.

I remember gasping as I woke up, and I saw everything through a white veil. I instantly thought, I’m in Heaven. I was so happy, rejoicing inside. Then reality hit like a sledgehammer. It felt as if someone had stuck a knife in my neck, and it was still there. That’s when I knew I wasn’t in Heaven. I heard Ruth playing on as if nothing had happened. I looked around and saw that the rear-view mirror was missing, and then I thought my car was on fire, because everything looked whitish through the veil. I knew it wasn’t air bag dust, because I had contact lenses in my eyes and they didn’t hurt (this will be an important fact later on in my story). When I looked out the window, I thought I was in a foreign land. Nothing looked familiar to me, yet I still had this peace and calm that can only be explained as the presence of God.

A young man walked up to my car to talk to me. All I wanted to do was get out of my burning car. The peace allowed me to hear and believe him when he assured me my car wasn’t on fire. My only disappointment was when he turned off the key—Ruth went silent.

Time moved slowly for me during