From Victims to Victors: Overcoming Abuse by the Power of Jesus Christ
By Mark Jones
()
About this ebook
Victoria was very afraid of her stepfather. Every time he told her to get in the car with him, she knew she would have to endure another incident of sexual abuse. She tried numerous times to tell her mother, but her mother was afraid to deal with the situation, choosing to live in denial and allowing Victoria to live in pain and anger.
In From Victims to Victors, author Mark Jones shares these and other stories of abuse from victims to whom he has ministered. He tells these stories of sexual, emotional, verbal, physical, and spousal abuse to call attention to this rampant problem in todays society.
Jones points the way to healing and restoration through biblical principles. He makes it clear that a move of Gods hand can deliver victims from the power of Satan and restore them to powerful, victorious living.
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Mark Jones
Mark Jones (PhD, Leiden Universiteit) serves as the pastor of Faith Vancouver Presbyterian Church (PCA) in British Columbia, Canada. He has authored many books, including Living for God and God Is, and speaks all over the world on Christology and the Christian life. Mark and his wife, Barbara, have four children.
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From Victims to Victors - Mark Jones
Contents
SCRIPTURE QUOTATION COPYRIGHT
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
PREFACE
INTRODUCTION
1
The Call
2
THE VICTIMS
3
MORE STORIES
4
THE ORIGIN OF ABUSE
5
HEREDITARY EVIL
6
A VICTIM’S HEART CRY
7
JESUS AND
THE LITTLE ONES
8
GET INVOLVED
9
IS THERE HOPE FOR SEX OFFENDERS?
10
THE ANOINTING
11
RENEWING THE MIND
12
A MIGHTY ARMY
SCRIPTURE QUOTATION COPYRIGHT
Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quotations are from the King James Version of the Bible, Public Domain.
Scripture quotations noted NKJV are from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations noted NASB are from the New American Standard Bible®, Copyright ©1960,1962,1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Scripture Quotations noted AMP are taken from the Amplified® Bible,
Copyright © 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission." (www.Lockman.org)
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
My deepest gratitude to my dear wife Terry, whose encouragement and input has been priceless in helping me prepare this book. Terry also spent much time in typing and editing the manuscript.
Also, to my oldest daughter Danna: many thanks for her assistance in typing and compiling portions of this book. Danna’s knowledge of computers has been a great help in this project. Danna also spent time in editing the book.
I want to say a heartfelt thanks to all of the people who allowed me to use their life experiences as victims of abuse, which comprised a large portion of the content of this book. Thanks for your courage and willingness to share these things about your life in the hope of helping others.
I greatly appreciate Judy Cook, Judy Wade, and Mary McWethy for the time they spent typing parts of this manuscript. I also want to thank my pastor, Rev. Ken Robinson, for his prayers and encouragement, and our church secretary Renee Bridges, for helping to print documents for this book. This has truly been a team effort. Thanks to all of you, and may God bless you abundantly.
PREFACE
I want to thank you for your interest in this book. If you are a victim of abuse or have been in the past, I pray you find the road to healing and recovery. If you are a youth leader, minister, or children’s worker, I pray this book will be useful to you in your endeavor to help others.
During the past several years, many people have asked me a difficult question: Do you think that there is more abuse now than there was in times past, or is it just that society is more aware of the problem now?
It is my personal opinion that abuse of all kinds has increased in the past fifteen to twenty years. The following facts tend to give support to this opinion. The generation approaching adulthood in recent years is a generation of firsts:
This is the first generation to see the internet. This is a tool that can be used by pedophiles and sexual predators to gain access to children and teens.
This is the first generation to be raised almost completely under the influence of an electronic babysitter: television.
This is the first generation in which many children and teens have a cell phone. You can get on the internet, go into chat rooms, download porn, arrange to meet people, and fall prey to violent and abusive situations, all without a parent’s knowledge.
This is the first generation to grow up without the love and support of close and extended family.
It’s easy to see that there are a lot of problems in America, but it is my prayer that the truth in this book will contribute to providing an answer. It is my sincere belief that a living Christ is the answer to a dying generation, the Saviour of a lost generation, the healer of a sick generation, and the liberator of a generation in bondage. In Luke 4:18-19 Jesus said:
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord.
Finding your healing through Jesus is what this book is all about, dear reader. May God bless and change your life as you turn these pages.
INTRODUCTION
This book is about the victims of abuse and how God’s grace can help them obtain and retain full recovery. I have included several stories concerning children to whom my wife and I have ministered throughout the years.
There is much child abuse in this nation today. It takes the form of physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. It is like a national epidemic, or an ugly scar, on the face of America. Consider the following statistics:
• Over three million cases of child abuse are reported each year in the U.S.¹
• In 2007, about 5.8 million children were involved in an estimated 3.2 million abuse reports and allegations.¹
• Every day, four-five children die from abuse in the U.S. More than 75% of those children are under the age of four.¹
• A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds.¹
• The estimated annual cost of child abuse and neglect in the U.S. for the year 2007 was 104 billion dollars.¹
•
Our family structure is breaking down at an alarming rate. There are nearly as many divorces as there are weddings. In light of this, let’s look at a few more statistics. The rate of divorce in
• first marriages in the United Stated is 50%.²
• second marriages is 67%.²
• third marriages is close to 74%.²
Responsible parents look at the moral trends in our society and become alarmed about the future of our children. We look at all of the problems in our country and wonder what the next generation will be like. This nation was founded on Christian principles, but has fallen so far from God.
Much of this damaging counter culture came about in the early sixties. The Bible and prayer were removed from public schools. Rock music became quite popular at this time, of which the message and spirit strongly encouraged rebellion against authority. This music also applauded the experimentation with illegal drugs, and engagement in sexual immorality. These activities opened doors in our culture to the spiritual invasion of the powers of darkness. During this time, there was a marked increase in premarital pregnancies, teen violence, teen suicide, and crime related to addicts trying to support their drug habits. Here are some statistics to verify these statements:
This reminds me of what Edmund Burke, one of our forefathers, said many years ago: Society cannot exist unless a controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere, and the less of it there is within, the more there must be without.
Where is the answer? Do sociologists or psychologists have a real solution? Can Washington find any answers? They could if they would look in the right place! The answer is getting God back into our nation and our homes. Sound too simple? We have tried everything else, so why not give God a chance?
Many were alarmed, and rightly so, when prayer was taken out of public schools. But when was the last time you knelt with your children around a family altar? We need an old-fashioned, Holy Ghost revival that reaches into our homes, changing our hearts and actions. This will change the way people deal with their problems, and how they treat each other. This is the only way for families to be healed.
Dear Mom and Dad: don’t send your children to church while you stay home and watch television. Go to church with them, and then take the power of Christ back home with you and live a genuine Christian life—seven days a week.
I hope and pray this book will have a part in helping the victims of crime to find restoration and recovery. May the Lord also use this book to assist and encourage anyone who works with teens and children in this time of great spiritual crisis.
Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the victims, and all of the stories are true to the best of my knowledge. Read carefully and let us pray together for a move of God’s hand that delivers victims from the power of Satan, and restores them to powerful, victorious living. We will give the glory to God for the things He has done!
1
The Call
When I was a child of seven years old, I felt conviction of sin and received Christ into my life. I felt a definite call from God on my life to be a minister. At the age of eight, I received the baptism of the Holy Ghost. A year later, I preached my first message at a youth service. I have always felt a deep concern for children and youth. Some of the most fulfilling moments of my life were when I prayed at the altar with other children, helping them to find Jesus as their Saviour.
As I grew into my teens, it became increasingly clear that God had called me to minister and impact lives by the Spirit and Word of God. Today I still feel a great concern to see young people grow into strong Christians, for they are the church of today and the spiritual leaders of the future.
At the age of thirteen, I had my first personal encounter with an abused teen. Many teens had responded to the evangelist’s stirring message that night. I was praying in the altars with the youth. The Lord directed my focus to a young lady who had come forward for salvation. She had a very troubled look on her face. I spoke to her, asking if I could pray with her for salvation. At that point, she began to cry profusely. Between her sobs, she managed to tell me that her father had sexually abused her. She felt ashamed and unworthy of God’s grace. The evangelist and I continued to talk with her and pray for her. God’s Spirit touched her soul and gave her joy, and began a healing process in her that night. We serve a mighty God who desires to heal the whole person: body, soul and spirit. That girl left the service with peace of mind and restored self-esteem. God’s healing power can do more in one hour than a secular counsellor can do in a year.
As my wife and I were dating, I found another opportunity to minister to a victim of abuse. When we became engaged, my wife felt the need to be open with me about her childhood. She had been sexually abused for several years by a close relative. It had started when she was very young and continued until she was eleven years old. Her abuser had passed away many years before we had become acquainted, but the pain and trauma of it was still very real. She felt shame, anger and guilt. It seems elementary to say that children are not the guilty ones when preyed upon by adults, but the victims. Even so, that doesn’t change the fact that they feel shame and will often blame themselves.
As my wife shared her secret with me, she told me that she felt it only fair to share it with me, since I was a virgin. She thought I wouldn’t want to marry someone who wasn’t a virgin. I was the first person she had ever told. I reassured her that the sex offender was the one who had sinned, and not her; she was merely an innocent victim who had no choice in the matter. I then told her that she was as pure as a virgin, as far as I was concerned. The sex offender had taken a period of her past from her, but she didn’t have to let that ruin her present and future.
The first step to healing from abuse is to open up and tell someone about the pain. If you continue to hold it in, it will eat you up like a cancer.
I continued to build Terry’s self-esteem and to be supportive. Since that first talk, she has continued to heal and grow, regaining confidence and self-worth. She tells me that her life has been given back to her because of her relationship with God, and my ongoing support. People can get their lives back and be triumphant through the power of Christ.
In the summer of 1995, opportunity came for us to help some victims of abuse. I came home from work one day to find that two of my nieces were placed in our care. Charges against their parents were being investigated. Ten days later, their two brothers were placed with us as well. Our home was the only option the state felt comfortable with, and we were the only close relatives that were able to take them in. Otherwise, the state would’ve been forced to separate them into different foster homes.
The children’s own parents had requested that they be placed with us because they trusted us to love them and provide a good home for them. We willingly received them, not wanting them to lose each other after having been through so much. We also felt it was imperative that they would not lose touch with the rest of their family. Our family has been a great support to us through this whole ordeal.
Taking four children into our home so unexpectedly was a great challenge to us, as you can imagine. We had two daughters of our own, and there were many adjustments to make. Danna and Vicky were pre-teens at the time. They had always been close to each other, and we had trained them to resolve their conflicts without fighting and yelling. There were suddenly four children in the home who had grown up with constant fighting, which is a common by-product of abuse. These children came to us with all of their emotional baggage. They felt betrayed by those who were supposed to protect them, and had a hard time trusting anyone.
It took time and a lot of prayer to help us adjust to being a family of eight. Being used in the ministry requires allowing God to take you outside of your comfort zone. It was a growing experience for our family, allowing us and our daughters to see beyond ourselves. It helped us realize that there are hurting people who need God’s love.
As time went on, we took the children to church and had family prayer at home on a regular basis. We witnessed the healing power of Christ, and watched God restore what Satan tried to destroy. After being placed in our care, the children showed major emotional and academic progress. Social workers and school teachers were amazed at the difference.
It is to these children and thousands like them that I prayerfully dedicate this book. I appreciate my wife and daughters. They have been an outstanding blessing to me and many others. We have grown in God’s love and grace through it all. It was a selfless love that caused Danna and Vicky to open their hearts and share their parents’