The Roller Coaster Ride of Raising Teens

By Lisa Dear

Would you like a closer relationship with your teen?

Raising teens in todays world is not an easy task. How encouraging to know we can rely on a perfect Savior while living in an imperfect world where perfect teens and perfect parents do not exist. If you desire a closer relationship with your teens and with God, this book is for you. You will find inspiration and encouragement in The Roller-Coaster Ride of Raising Teens.

What a privilege and opportunity to have the task of raising teens. It may not seem like it at the present time, but there is absolutely no doubt that you were placed in the life of this young person-for such a time as this! Maybe it is you who can make a profound difference in their life. Maybe it will be just some simple things said or little things done that you think may go unnoticed, that may make a huge impact in their life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 22, 2011
• ISBN: 9781449719692

Lisa Dear

Lisa Dear and her husband, Hugh, have two children and one granddaughter. With a heart for youth and missions, they have served in kids and teens ministry for the past ten years in their local church. As a youth leader and having the advantage of communicating with teens about their daily struggles and relationships, Lisa offers this book of Biblical examples and encouragement for parents in this overwhelming task of raising teens in today’s world.

Book preview

For Austin and Kelli

God has blessed me with the wonderful opportunity and privilege of having you both in my life. I pray that I have taught you moral values that you will not deny as you become adults. A heartfelt thanks to both of you for the many things you have also taught me about my own life, who I am, and how I have become a better person in Christ because of you, my precious son and daughter.

As a parent, I am sure I have been guilty of reminding you more of what you were doing wrong than praising you when you were doing right. I tried to fit them both in there, but I am certain that praising and encouraging you were outweighed by reminding you of your mistakes.

I know that I have not been the perfect parent, but I hope that both of you know deep down inside of your hearts that I have tried to guide you in the right direction and that I have always had your best interest at heart. Only when you become a parent yourself will you realize how great my love for you has been and will always be!

I couldn’t love you more!

—Mom

Contents

For Austin and Kelli

Foreword

Dedication

Introduction

Chapter 1

Follow The Leader

Chapter 2

Prepare For Battle—

There Is No Time to Waste!

Chapter 3

Never Alone

Chapter 4

Going To War

Chapter 5

Trapped?

Chapter 6

Taking Control

Chapter 7

A Work In Progress

Chapter 8

Pass It Onward,

Christian Soldiers!

Chapter 9

Great Expectations

Chapter 10

Success God’s Way

Chapter 11

Keeping Watch

Chapter 12

Ready,

Set,

Never Let Go!

Conclusion

Foreword

Dear Mommy,

I have just finished reading your book, and wanted to let you know that I am so proud of you. Your book has so many words of wisdom and guidance. You have put so much thought and time into this book and have done an amazing job! You are just the person I want to be like when I get older. You are not only my role model and my hero, but you are also my very best friend. When I think about the woman and mom I only dream of becoming one day, you come to my mind. I am so amazed at how God has used you and given you the passion to write your first book. I have enjoyed each and every chapter. You have studied and meditated on God’s Word, and every minute of it has shown with the words within your book. It was incredible, and I am so glad I have a Christian mom to guide me throughout my life, and a mom who will always be here for me with godly wisdom. You are a blessing to me, and a blessing to every person who reads this book. God has definitely given you a gift of writing, and I know so many people will be inspired when they read it. We have faced many obstacles and come to Jesus meetings together in the time that you have been raising me, but I just thought you should know that you are an amazing mom, and I wouldn’t give up a single moment that I have spent with you. I can’t tell you how comforting it is when I have a problem and know that I can come to you and you know exactly what to say and do to make me feel better. I’m glad to say that I have a mom to model how I should live not only my teenage life but my Christian life as well. God has spoken to you through this book, and you obeyed him. I cannot express to you how talented you are. You have gone through so much throughout your life, and you have an amazing testimony, and God is using you each and every day. You are an inspiration to me and the teenage girls in our youth group. You are incredible, and thank you so much for everything. You give of yourself so much, which shows you have an everlasting love for me and other people. You are truly the definition of a servant. You do whatever you can to help the people around you, and that is a quality I truly hope to inherit. Don’t ever lose hope, because God is blessing you for being so faithful and obedient to him through all these years. I love you very much, and I am so happy to be able to call you my mom!

—Kelli Dear (17 years old)

Dedication

To my wonderful husband, Hugh, you have been an answered prayer in my life. Thank you for your love, your support, and for always being there for me. I know that is not always an easy job. You are my best friend and the love of my life. Thanks for always believing in me.

A special thanks to my mom and dad, Ralph and Sue, for the moral character and values they instilled in me as a child. Without that foundation, I would definitely not be where I am today in my walk with God.

Once again, Austin and Kelli, I cannot find the words to express my love to you. I am so proud of both of you. Your accomplishments in life will only be great if you will give yourself to God and trust Him with all that is in you. Live your future to the fullest from this day forward—never let the past hold you back. Seek God’s wisdom and let Him direct your path.

Introduction

Grab a cup of coffee and let’s talk about one of the most important facets of life: parenting. What can we learn about our own life from the fast and furious roller-coaster ride of raising our teens?

If you are the parent of a teenager, you know you have work to do, and you must get started now; there is no time for delay. If you are just now realizing that, then you probably have some catching up to do!

This book is for all parents, grandparents, or guardians who are fortunate enough to have the task of raising a child or teen. It is tough, but what a privilege and an opportunity it is. It may not seem like it at the present time, but there is absolutely no doubt that you were placed in the life of this young person for such a time as this! Maybe you can make a profound difference in your teen’s life. Maybe it will be some simple things said or little things done that you think go unnoticed that may make a huge impact in your teen’s life.

Raising teenagers is like a roller-coaster ride. You’d better hold on tight, because you are in for the ride of your life (as you probably already know). As much as I absolutely love the thrill of actual roller-coaster rides, this ride of raising teenagers has been the scariest of all for me. You know the build-up of anticipation of what is about to happen when you first get on the roller coaster. Then you know without a doubt that the ride is a tough one when you have to be buckled in before the roller coaster starts. Then off you go, and it is too late to back out. You’re not sure what to expect. At the start you make the steep, gradual incline—the place where it seems as if you will never reach the top, and then that sudden drop-off that leaves you breathless. Next, you are jerked into a loop that turns you upside down and makes your head go round and round, all at high speed. It ends abruptly with another sudden jerk when it comes to a screeching halt that leaves you dizzy, with your heart pounding and your head spinning. This is also an accurate description of raising teenagers. It is fast and furious too, just how time passes by with a child: they are born, you blink your eyes, and then it seems that they are grown and gone from home.

There are some roller coasters that have a few more inclines and loops than others. So it is with our teens. Some throw a few more loops and inclines in life for us than others, but we love them anyway.

No matter how overwhelmed you sometimes feel at the task laid before you, just know that you do not have to do this alone. Just trust in the Lord and lean not unto your own understanding. The truth is, we will never understand everything. It is not necessary that we do; it is just necessary that we trust in the Lord, for He will direct our paths.

Whatever you are facing, just remember, there are no perfect parents, and there are no perfect teenagers. If we refuse to accept and realize that, we will always be disappointed in ourselves as well as our teenagers. The biggest opportunity for us as adults is right in front of us—for us to see just how much like teenagers we really are and to learn from that. I am not sure that I really like to admit that, but I think it is very true. I have realized that there are so many areas where I need to grow and mature, just like my teens do.

We must look at raising teenagers as an opportunity in the face of opposition, rather than a challenge for both us and our teens. Every challenge we face in life is filled with opportunities; we just have to search diligently for them. It is time for us to get out our magnifying glass and start looking for those opportunities. Trust me; you won’t have to look very far.

You will find throughout this book numerous references to biblical Scripture. References are usually given with the Scripture so you can read and refer to them in your own Bible if you choose. Whether you are a Bible scholar or have never studied God’s Word before, I pray that through these many passages you will find the strength, encouragement, and instructions, as I have, and see how they relate to your own experiences in life.

You will also find a number of questions asked as you work your way through this book. They are questions that I have asked myself many times along the way and still do from day to day. These questions help me to stay accountable and think about every move I make. They help me to stay focused, and I hope these questions will challenge you as they have me. At the end of each chapter, you will also find questions that I encourage you to answer and lists to make or thoughts to jot down. Taking time to do this will help put some things into perspective and encourage you to think even more about your relationship with your teens and with God.

This book is in no way meant to tell you how to raise your child. It is about my own personal experience while raising my teens. God laid it on my heart to write this book and to share some of my experiences, so that someone else could learn from them as well. I realized during this opportunity that there has been so much that I have learned, and best of all, it helped me to grow in God. That is the most beautiful part of all—growing in God. I hope that you will read this book with an open mind and an open heart to let God speak to you, as He has to me. I pray that you will grow and learn what He will do in your life and the lives of your family. I pray that He will give your family strength, bringing them closer together.

I have not been the perfect mother, and I do not have perfect teens. They have made their share of