Fishez

By Michael D. Stevens

Fishez

Years of abuse from pleasure and commercial crafts of the Seas, have left their indelible marks upon all sea creatures in the great oceans of the world.

If mankind did not run Fishez over and over with their sharp propellers, then they slaughtered them for useless gainsand thencontaminated their precious sea homes with oil, debris and toxic wastes.

The Fishez that were captured, were forced to do back flips at Sea World for morsels of food. They were hungry most of the time and further humiliated by being poked at by little kids, with no respect for any type of life.

Scientific experiments on little gold fish guppies resulted in their untimely demise, buy for one. One little tiny 4 inch fish named Guppy...who survived months and months of abuse and torture only to emerge with a 570 Mensa IQandan attitude!

Escaping from Battele's Experimental lab in Columbus, Ohio and the clutches of the US Government, Guppy made her way to the oceans where she witnessed untold harm to her fellow creatures and to the once clean, clear, blue waters that covers 2/3 f the Planet Earth.

Guppy wanted to be a counselor, a philosopher, a crusader of good that would result in a tranquil, peaceful and harmonious worldbutfate would have it otherwiseas Guppy had no other choice, but to declare war on the human race and rewrite history as GuppyGuppy the Great!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trafford Publishing
• Release date: Jan 23, 2007
• ISBN: 9781426941092

Michael D. Stevens

Michael D. Stevens holds a degree in engineering and an MBA from Case Western Reserve University. The author of Skinz, The Tower of Bratenahl, and Fishez, he lives in a penthouse overlooking Lake Erie, along with his ever-faithful fat pussycat, SnowBall.

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© Copyright 2011 Michael D. Stevens.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored

in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic,

mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written prior permission of the author.

Printed in the United States of America.

isbn: 978-1-4251-0935-6 (sc)

isbn: 978-1-4269-4109-2 (e)

Trafford rev. 04/25/2011

missing image file www.trafford.com

North America & international

toll-free: 1 888 232 4444 (USA & Canada)

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What others Say about Fishez…

FISHEZ is a social parody, with a Darwin-esque twist, featuring the survival of the most deserved; an Armageddon of environmental justice; a whimsical tale of death, destruction, and everything vulgar and grotesque—all cleverly interspersed with biting political satire. Michael Stevens is at his BEST!

Tom Austin 61, Bratenahl, Ohio

FISHEZ is a real page turner and will make you laugh out loud! Michael Stevens has a way with words like no other…. I really enjoyed all of the characters with their crazy names. I am Hooked on FISHEZ!, Looking forward to the movie Fishez & Michael Stevens’s next novel!

Marrieta Roby, 51, Bratenahl, Ohio

I’m 90 years old and have read many books in my life but never one like this! FISHEZ is loaded with creativity, action and emotion. I couldn’t stop reading it! Michael D. Stevens is a GENIUS!     Joe Kaim, 90, Cleveland, Ohio

This book is for every age group! I quote from Genesis; Let the great whales & every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly and God saw that it was good. Guppy, after failed diplomacy, united all of the sealife to put a stop on man’s evil destruction of the planet earth and themselves. Michael’s ending for FISHEZ is simply MAGNIFICENT!     Gladys B. Stevens, 75, Ashland, Ohio.

I couldn’t put the book down!, Not only was it fantastically comical, but very EDUCATIONAL, Great job at inserting the very original wise sayings by Michael D. Stevens, historic proverbs & quotes, FISHEZ gets an A+ Rating by me & MUST READ for everyone!"     Terry Guess, 42, PHD, Albany, MO.

What others Say about Fishez…Cont’d

This is a True-Fiction Novel capable of grabbing your mind & throwing it into reality. This should be a Best Seller!

Michael Byrne, 20, Bratenahl, Ohio.

This book is about worldly interest with lots of high impact energy. I could not put it down, even though I don’t read books. Michael D. Stevens is a piece of work and the only type of book that I would read. I am really looking forward to reading his next novel, whatever it is coming from his brain!

Roberta Kaim, 50, Cleveland, Ohio.

Imaginative, Creative…Fishez is an insight into the world of animal cruelty and their fight back. A great read for any child or adult, of which will be captured by Guppy’s quest for revenge.     Mark Maruszak, 16, Wickliffe Ohio

FISHEZ gives you insight on educational respect for all living things. If Sharks & Dolphins can co-exist, then why can’t we as humans?     Shawn E. Kelso, 37, Cleveland, Ohio.

This is spiritually enlightening to any member of the Human Race. Fishez brings philosophy that we should all live our life by!     Mark E. Wernet, 56, Cleveland Heights, Ohio.

Guppy may only be a 4-inch goldfish, but she has big message to tell. Everyone should pay more attention to how they are harming the environment and the consequences it has on wildlife. Guppy also has great taste in music.

Marisa Sobeski, 29, Bratenahl, Ohio

Chapters:

Dedications

Characters

Chapters:

Bass

Captain Tubby

Dolphy

FishHeads

Tap, Tap, Tap

Guppy

President

Sable Island

Executive Conversation

Kidnapped

Trebor Dances

First Blood Fishez

Tubby’s headache

White House

Press Conference

Attacked

Butchered

The Meeting

Guppy Returns

Fishez Unite

It’s SHOWTIME

The Surrender

Appendix

Ransom Myers

Greenpeace

Fishez Facts Index

Ransom Myers…

GreenPeace.Org

Fishez Facts Index

DOLPHINS

Manatees

Sharks

GREAT WHITE SHARK

Giant Squid

Leatherback Sea Turtle (Dermochelys coriacea)

BLUE WHALE

Video captures octopus attack on sub in B.C.

Trained Fish Does the Trick

The Tower of Bratenahl

About the Author…Michael D. Stevens

Dedications

Human Race

The absolute lowest form of intelligent life that throughout history was focused on either conquering or destroying everything on the Planet Earth.

God

Giving necessary life forces for everyone to get along in peace.

Gladys

A mother that gave me the sensitivity toward all forms of life and the ability to proudly cry for all their needlessly induced sufferings.

Rusky

Who forced me under great Siberian Russian duress, to write a PG rated Novel!

Sherry

A kind heart of gold, generously given to everyone in need of help.

Marisa

A beautiful, talented & creative lady with loving inspiration to me that has no boundries or limits.

Guppy

My 4-inch smart aleck Goldfish.

Mark Wernet

Who believed in my brains when no one else would.

Bratenahl, Ohio Residents

Thank you for making my semi-fictional characters come to life.

The United States Government

Dedicated to governing the World, Whether it wants governed or not!

GreenPeace.Org

Someone has to care about something being done!

Dean Pomerleau and his Son

Teaching goldfish tricks and more at www.Fish-School.com

Characters

Chapters:

Intermission

 Chapter One

Bass

Oh no, shouted Dr. Mary Wong, another goldfish croaked on me!

Don’t worry about it, sighed a weary Dr. Dewey Duemore, there’s plenty of fish in the sea, as he lit up a black clove cigarette, took a big inhale, then slowly exhaled the black toxic fumes in and around the fish tank.

But, she said, I’ve been working with these 2 graduate goldfishes that I got from Dean’s fish college, for the last 9 months straight.

She hesitated and sighed as she looked at the dead male goldfish.

Poor little goldfish, she whispered, I finally got them both to understand Morse code by tapping it out on the glass aquarium wall.

Dr. Duemore put his arm around Dr. Mary Wong, to falsely comfort her on the goldfish’s untimely death and gently touched her soft, pearl white left arm.

Stop your hand right there, whispered Dr. Wong. You’re out of line!

Just trying to help, laughed Dr. Duemore, to get your mind off that stupid goldfish’s death!

Help take your mind off of whom? questioned Dr. Wong, you or me or the goldfish? as Dr. Wong shook off Dr. Duemore’s hand… which was now gently rubbing and squeezing her arm.

Dr. Duemore started to pout because his male macho mind was wandering and dreaming about Dr. Wong. He’s been waiting to make love to Dr. Wong, a strikingly beautiful Korean Lady Doctor, for the last 10 months. Ever since he took over as Director of Battelle’s Aquatic Strategic Sea-life department or BASS for short.

The previous Director, a Mr. Major Tac, ended up going totally insane thereby opening up this $400,000 per year position at the Top Secret government program at Battelle’s Research Institute in Columbus, Ohio. He claimed to have experienced animals that were skinned for their furs, come back from the dead and skinned the people that were wearing their furs. Dr. Wong knew more about this, but kept her actual experience to herself for fear that some people may believe that she was insane.

Look, Dr. Wong, said Dr. Duemore, don’t forget your mission as dictated directly by the President of the United States. He took a deep breath and shouted out, the President himself wants us to utilize Aquatic Life to spy and gather intelligence on all sea bound shipping traffic.

Yah, yah, yah, said a grinning Dr. Wong, the DEA wants drug smelling fish, the ATF wants gun smelling fish, the IRS wants money smelling fish, and the Navy wants fish with nuclear torpedoes strapped to their tail fins that are painted red, white and blue!

And, don’t forget the President’s Grand Kids! added Dr. Duemore, demanding we train some fishes to perform aquatic back flip jumps in their private Texas saltwater swimming pool, just like they were trying to do at Dean’s Goldfish College on the Internet!

The heck with the Presidents grand Texas rodent kids! shouted Dr. Wong.

Now, now, answered Dr. Duemore, we must pacify all of our superior’s requests.

You do all the Prez’s requests, Dr. Dewey Duemore, the next time the Prez visits this giant fish tank and wants fresh sushi, shouted Dr. Wong.

It’s not a fish tank! snapped Dr. Duemore, it’s a Think Tank!

Fish tank, fish tank, friggin fish tank! snapped back Dr. Wong, you’re not the one cleaning all of the fish poop dumped on you by the Government cheese balls, and then sneeringly said, or are you?

Huck no! replied Dr. Duemore, but knew otherwise.

Meanwhile, the remaining little 4-inch female goldfish seemed to be mourning her lost male mate by swimming around in circles. Her eggs still unfertilized were lying at the bottom of the tank. She was just about to get them fertilized by her long time and faithful soul mate named Gupper ….the music was right, the lights were dim…everything was just perfect for the creation of a new family between the two goldfish. But fate would have it otherwise.

Dr. Wong tapped the Morse code on the wall of the glass fish tank. Tap, tap, tap… S..O..R..R..Y.

Surprisingly, the goldfish responded to her by slamming her tail fin against the sensors inside the tank.

Dr. Wong was startled and jumped back. She almost tripped across her own two feet as she reached for her notebook. Her hand was shaking as she wrote down the goldfish’s tail taps.

Dot, dot, dash, dash, dot, dash, dash, dot, continued for the next forty minutes.

Suddenly the goldfish stopped and went to the opposite corner of the tank.

Dr. Wong breathed a sigh of frustration. She’s been scratching down Morse code for almost an hour and didn’t even have time to read what she wrote down…..as if there was anything to figure out. Dr. Duemore was watching her during the entire time.

Dr. Wong’s tight light pink plaid skirt was high in the air, exposing her thigh. Duemore’s mind was furiously focused on her and not the research.

Suddenly Dr. Wong turned around and startled Dr. Duemore.

Dr. Duemore shook his head, full of fantasies, and tried to move the awkward situation by saying, what did the little goldfish say?

She said, replied Dr. Wong, she said…….

What? exclaimed Dr. Duemore, what did she say?

That you are a highly overpaid government official being paid for the brains that you couldn’t possibly possess! laughed Dr. Wong, ha, ha, ha.

Go take a date with yourself, snapped Dr. Duemore, Dr. Wong!

I don’t have to, snapped back Dr. Wong, I always have great dates.

But alas, Dr. Wong was lying. In fact she hasn’t had a date in over a year. Ever since her encounter with that Indian named Bucky from Mansfield, Ohio. Now locked up in State of Ohio mental institution because of something to do with dead animals coming back for their Skinz and skinning the people wearing their Skinz!

O well, Dr. Wong’s thinking shifted back to the goldfish saying under her breath, I have to figure out why all the tapping from that cute little goldfish, as she started to feed the information into her Morse code translation software on her laptop.

Friggit, sighed a weary Dr. Wong, as she hit the enter key.

Out of its screen jumped, Et Cum Spiritu Tuo, Et Cum Spiritu Tuo, Et Cum Spiritu Tuo.

Forty five minutes of deciphering taps and all I get is this garbage, shouted Dr. Wong, pure garbage in and now pure garbage out!

Holy mackerel, whispered a weary Dr. Wong, I have to get something out of this goldfish tapping sounds. She took a deep breath and sighed out, I’ve got to get some kind of progress for this love sick Director besides him wanting to simply overpower me, as she hit the print key and stuffed