Something Just Ain’T Right: A Journey of Life, Love, and Pain

By Kai L. Christian

Do you remember your first love, the song that was playing when you experienced your first kiss, where you were for your first time, or how long it took to get past your first heartbreak? These events mold us, shape us, and forever alter us.

When Alexander Gray meets Mia Price, the southern belle of his dreams, he must decide which fate would wound him more: being spurned or being burned? He screws up his courage long enough to ask her out, and they realize that perhaps they are meant to build a life together after all. That path will not be a smooth one for either, but now, as a couple, they must face their choices together.

Along the way, they must survive run-ins with ex-girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, and new acquaintancesnot to mention the specter of unresolved issues from the past. Alex and Mias relationship must survive the dangers of young love, or they may find that growing up can lead to growing apart.

Theirs is a journey laced with hope, laughter, and the ever-shifting challenges of an emerging relationship, but most of all, it is rich with love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: May 14, 2012
• ISBN: 9781469737232

Kai L. Christian

Kai L. Christian studied history, English, psychology, and law before completing his master’s degree in education at Louisiana State University. An avid writer of short stories in his youth, he now uses music and writing as therapeutic forms of recreation. He lives in Louisiana.

Book preview

Elevation By Inebriation

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The opportunity for Mia and I to take our relationship to the next level presented itself in March 1993. My old high school was throwing its annual year-end talent show, and I invited Mia and Marvin to spend the weekend with me in my hometown of Lautner, LA. Lautner was a quiet, little southern town located about an hour between Baton Rouge and New Orleans. I always thought of Lautner as one of those towns that time forgot—one of many settlements built along the majestic Bayou Lafourche. A small rural community, it is mainly a residential area with a few farms, local stores, schools and several churches. It was definitely a segregated community when I was growing up; the whites populated the areas close to the stores and their church, while the blacks lived in the less desirable areas close to the railroad tracks and the sugar mill. Whites and blacks built a functional relationship in the town—everybody knew there were certain parts of town they could venture into at certain times of the day, but they had to be back on their side of the racially divided tracks by nightfall. This might sound very 1950s, but it was home to me.

I really didn’t expect Mia to accept my invitation at the time. We were just beginning to get to know each other, and I wasn’t sure what her reaction would be to my asking her to come spend time with me at my home. After all, I was from a very small town with its own set of ideals; I wasn’t sure how fast I was supposed to move when it came to the college girls I met. I mean, I know every girl comes from a different background, but back then, I grouped them into two categories: country girls (the ones that I was used to) and college / city girls. Truth be told, I didn’t know or understand much about any girls at that point; I guess it was just one of the many stereotypes that I had cultivated over the years. Anyway, Mia was the first girl that I had become interested in since I started LSU, and I didn’t want to do or say anything to ruin the friendship that we were building.

Needless to say, I was absolutely ecstatic when she wholeheartedly agreed to come home with me for the weekend. Before I knew it, the four of us—Mia, Marvin, Kenneth, and me—were headed south to my hometown that Friday afternoon in my little silver ’92 Toyota Tercel. Even though Marvin was coming along, it was my first really strong indication that Mia was interested in me; and that maybe—just maybe—she wanted more from me than just another friendship. I was determined to do my best to make the most of our weekend together.

After dropping Kenneth off at his home about 5 minutes distance from mine, the remaining three of us pulled up at my residence on Bailey Road at around 5:30pm. A wave of anxiety washed over me. At 19 years of age, this was going to be the first sleepover I ever had. Kenneth and I had known each other since I was 9, and even he had never slept over at my house…nor I at his. This was all new to me, and I wanted it to go well. In a way, Mia and Marvin would be representing my life at LSU to my family, and my family would be representing my upbringing to them. I wanted my family to like Mia and Marvin, and I wanted Mia and Marvin to like my family. All I could do at that point was hope for the best.

Things actually went better that weekend than I could have ever anticipated. My new friends got along with my family like peas and carrots. At first, my family was a little taken aback by the idea that Mia and Marvin were going to be sleeping in our guest bedroom together. But when they actually sat and talked with Marvin for a while, it just sort of made sense—just like it did with me when I met them back in the dorm. Marvin was more like a girlfriend to Mia than anything; there was no apparent physical attraction between them, and she was completely comfortable with him. Marvin’s wide-eyed, child-like, and talkative nature completely won over my sister Maiya and brother Spencer—the three of them joked and laughed with each other the entire weekend. Being both extremely attractive and extremely friendly definitely scored Mia major points with my dad who, like myself, was always a bit of a sucker for a pretty face. And after witnessing over four years of turbulence in my young love life, my mom was basically happy with any female that wasn’t my childhood girlfriend Alayna.

The three of us got dressed and left for the talent show around 7:00pm. Since the school was only ten minutes away, we weren’t necessarily pressed for time. We decided to ask Maiya to come along with us to keep Marvin company; he claimed that he didn’t want to feel like a third wheel. Mia sat up front with me, while Marvin and my sister chatted amongst themselves for the full ten minutes. I kept a rigid stare on the highway for the majority of the ride. The one time that I glanced over at her, Mia turned and caught me staring. I was so smitten; I couldn’t even speak at first. She gave me a big smile.

What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?

You look really nice tonight, I responded, not able to think of anything else.

Well, thank you. You don’t look so bad yourself.

I never knew how to respond to compliments. I just smirked and turned my attention to the road. She probed further.

Why are you so quiet? You couldn’t shut up when your friend Kenneth was riding with us.

Oh, I don’t know. I guess I still can’t believe you’re here.

You never really expected us to come, did you?

I guess not.

Why? It’s not like I had that much to do this weekend.

Well, I know you and Marvin are always talking about going out to the club and dancing…stuff like that. I just didn’t think that joining me for a high school talent show on a Friday night would be your idea of a good time.

Maybe you don’t know me as well as you might think you do. I can go out to a club any time. It’s not often that a guy asks me to accompany him home for something like this. It might seem small to you, but I am really flattered. This is a very special occasion for me. Thank you. With that, she placed her hand atop my right hand as it rested on the gearshift. My palms actually started to sweat as we pulled into the Astor High School parking lot.

We were definitely a part of the rumor mill that night. It was my first time visiting my alma mater since I graduated nearly two years prior, and having a stunning beauty by my side that no one knew didn’t hurt my image one bit. I had joked with her about being my showpiece at the talent show, so she very knowingly played the part well. She wore a sleeveless white blouse with a black miniskirt, a scarf wrapped around her waist. As we walked through the crowded lobby, she held my hand the entire time and laughed at every comment we passed to one another like it was the funniest thing that she had ever heard. We ran into my teachers and girlfriends, all to whom I introduced Mia as a very special lady in my life. What I was saying wasn’t a lie, and I knew everyone would take that to mean girlfriend, anyway. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that we were the topic of many a conversation in that high school auditorium. I had more fun than I should’ve had that night.

After the talent show, we took a fifteen minute ride to Belle Fleur to get something to eat. We stopped at Pizza Hut to order a couple of pizzas, and decided to get them to go. While waiting for the pizzas, the four of us went to a convenience store to pick up some drinks. Maiya and I went immediately to the soft drink isle, and Mia and Marvin went for the liquor section. After picking up a few two-liter Sprites, my sister and I stood by and watched those two argue like kids over which bottle of Boone’s Farm to buy—Boones’ Farm basically being a cheap wine that sold for about three bucks a bottle. Mia wanted the strawberry-flavored, while Marvin favored the piña colada. As I watched them argue back and forth, I felt a pang of jealousy at the strong bond they shared. It was obvious they had been friends forever; they could almost finish one another’s sentences.

On our way home, I stopped by both my Aunt Sylvia’s and my Grandma Nona’s house. It was a usual routine of mine, to stop in and see them whenever I would come home for the weekend. And since they were both nighthawks, it wasn’t a problem with them that it was close to midnight. But there was something different about that visit. My grandmother later told me that she could tell by my face that night that I was introducing her to someone very important to me. Anyway, by midnight we had found our way back to my house. The four of us sat up late into the morning hours, eating pizza and swapping stories. We didn’t get to bed until my dad got up for work at 5:30am.

That Saturday, we woke up a little after noon. Much to Marvin’s dismay, Maiya had left with my mother and my brother, so it was just going to be the three of us that day. We got dressed, shared some chicken from Popeye’s for lunch, and decided to drive to Houma. We spent that afternoon window-shopping, talking about all the things we would buy when we all got real jobs. Marvin deserted us to go buy CDs and a few other trinkets, while I watched Mia try on outfits at nearly every female store in that mall. I didn’t mind, though. At almost every store we went to, the salesperson would ask us if we were married or together. At first, we went through the we’re just friends speech. After the third or fourth time, however, we realized it was just easier to say yes. After a while, we even started improvising, creating tales of how we met, our antebellum-home wedding (complete with horse and buggy), and how we were expecting our first child.

By now, the apprehension that I felt at the beginning of the weekend had long since dissipated. We left the mall about a half-hour before it closed, and stopped at a video store to rent a few movies. From there, we stopped at a gas station. I filled up on gas, while Mia and Marvin went inside to get something to drink. The alcoholic selection for the night was Thunderbird—another cheap, considerably strong wine. By the time we got back to the house, my family had gone to bed. The three of us showered, got into our nightclothes (T-shirt and pajama bottoms for me and Marvin, long nightshirt for Mia), and popped a couple of bags of popcorn. I fixed everyone drinks in my dad’s Crown Royal glasses, and we curled up on the sofa in front of the television like a bunch of kids—Mia sat in the middle of Marvin and I, propped up on her knees. I remember the way she smiled at me as she took that first drink, and the sweet smell of her freshly washed hair that night. There was something so right about us…it was as intoxicating as the wine. Even though I had full knowledge that she was still involved with someone else, with every smile she invited me to entertain the notion of us being together. We had been dancing around the topic for nearly eight months at that point. All at once, I knew I had to let her know how I felt…and I had to let her know that night.

After the first movie, we were all pretty tipsy from the wine. Feeling pretty confident, I got up from the sofa and disappeared down the hallway to my room. I turned the lamp on over my dresser mirror and stared at my reflection, contemplating my next move. Whatever it was going to be, I knew that I had to do it now…before I lost my nerve. I turned on Keith Sweat’s Make It Last Forever CD, finished off my glass of wine, and called out to her:

Mia, could you come see a minute, please?

My heart was beating so fast it nearly jumped out of my chest. I heard her and Marvin whispering to one another, and then I heard footsteps lightly traipsing down the carpeted hallway. It seemed like forever, but she finally came into my room. The dim lighting in my room made her radiate an almost angelic glow.

I told Marvin when you got up that you would call me back here, she snickered at me, clearly leaning towards drunkenness at this point.

I had to laugh. I’m sorry. Was I being that obvious?

Don’t apologize. It was kinda cute. I was wondering what was taking you so long, anyway. She gave me that coy smile again.

Well I called you because I wanted to talk to you alone for a while. I had to coax my courage along as I stared into her eyes. Listen, I know we’re both still kinda involved with other people right now, but I think there’s something really special about us.

I agree. The space between us closed considerably—she went from about three feet away to directly in front of me. I was actually trembling; my heartbeat was out of control.

I just wanted the chance to tell you that everything that has happened in the last several months has all been so new to me; doing our laundry together, walking to the movies, watching Gone With The Wind in your room and listening to you recite the lines verbatim…all of that has meant the world to me. At this point, she couldn’t stop smiling if she wanted to. I took her hand in mine.

I know that things between us are still a bit complicated. But, if we ever reach the point where we can take our friendship to the next level…

Since the beginnings of time, women have always been easy prey for men that could talk a good game. The very first sin in this world was committed when a serpent smooth-talked the very first woman into doing something God had forbade her to do. I don’t care how strong-minded a woman may think she is, she has never been any match for a man with a good mouthpiece. Mia was no different. She didn’t even give me a chance to finish the statement before she planted her lips on mine. I began to feel heady from the taste of her lips. I had reached that moment in our relationship that only comes once—better than the conquest, and better than the memory; the moment of anticipation. She kissed me hungrily as I hoisted her one-hundred-fifteen pound frame up off of her feet and she wrapped her slender legs around my waist. I walked over to the door and held her firmly with my left hand, all the while using my free hand to turn the lock.

I was so ready to be with this woman. It wasn’t just about elevating our relationship to another level; it was about elevating my life another step as well. For so long I had been playing the same childish games with Alayna. There simply wasn’t enough between her and I anymore to sustain a healthy relationship; we were both just afraid of not being together. We were two different people heading in two different directions in life. It was obvious that opposites attract, but being together and staying together is not always about chemistry.

By the time I laid Mia on the bed, she had already gotten out of her nightshirt. The whole thing was happening so quickly, it was unreal. I watched her under the dimness of the lamp, her face so innocent and yet, so knowing. It was as if the entire moment was something she expected, but at the same time it had caught her completely off guard.

Mia, can I ask you a question without ruining your mood?

Yeah, Sweetie. Is something the matter?

No, I’m great, believe me. But…is this what you want?

She appeared startled. "Yeah, of course it is. Why would you ask me that now?"

I don’t know. Are you being honest with me?

Sure I am, Alex. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now. It’s just that…

What? What is it?

Her face suddenly went pale.

Hold on a second… With that, she jumped up, quickly put on her nightshirt, and ran into the hallway bathroom, locking the door behind her. For the next ten minutes, I heard heaving that almost made me nauseous. (Corrected mental note: Elevation by Inebriation yields Regurgitation)

I walked over to the bathroom and lightly knocked on the door.

Hey Babe, are you are alright? Can I do anything to help?

No…I’ll be fine. Can you get me a glass of water?

I fixed her a glass of water, and sat it on the nightstand in the guestroom. I knew that she was sick, and I figured she would just want to turn in for the night. I wasn’t too upset, though…the night (up to that point, anyway) had gone much better than I ever expected it too. A few minutes later, Mia staggered out of the bathroom, smiling weakly and obviously embarrassed at herself.

Did you get that glass of water for me?

Yeah, Babe. I put it on the nightstand in the guest bedroom. I didn’t know if you were gonna feel up for talking, or if you just wanted to crash.

Oh, okay. Well…good night. I sensed a little hurt in her voice as she closed my door shut.

Good night. With that, I turned over to go to sleep.

About five minutes passed, and there was a light tapping at the door.

"Yeah?"

Mia peeked in. You still up? She was so cute.

Yeah…what’s going on?

Can I sleep with you tonight?

Her bluntness took me by surprise. Our flirtations with one another had been pretty mild up to that point.

Sure you can.

I raised my blanket for her, and she crawled into bed, cuddling up next to me. She reached behind her for my hand and put it around her waist, and kissed me on the cheek.

I’m sorry if I ruined your night, she said, trying to offer me solace.

"My night was perfect just the way it was; you didn’t ruin a thing."

She appeared thoughtful, and her tone became serious for a second.

You know what?

What is it?

"Your blanket is not very comfortable."

I laughed at her.

Really? Well, I’m sorry that my tattered covers are not meeting your approval.

"No, they’re fine…but they’re not like my Velveteen Deluxe. I’m gonna have to get you one."

"And what, pray tell, is a Velveteen Deluxe?"

Only the most comfortable blanket in the world. My mom bought me one when I was seven, and I’ve never been able to sleep without it.

"Well, I look forward to experiencing that. Now shut up and go to sleep, Linus." I kissed her on her forehead.

With that, she smiled, and fell into a hard slumber.

I stayed awake for about an hour afterwards, rubbing her head and thinking about what all of this would mean to our friendship.

Searching For Clarity

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The next day went by rather quickly. Once again, we all got up after noon; my dad had cooked a big Sunday meal, and we all sat at the dining room table and ate together. Afterwards, Mia and Marvin spent the remaining time getting to know my family better. All through the day, if I passed by Mia in the hallway or made eye contact with her, we would just smile real big at one another; it was as if we really didn’t know what to say. Around 6:00pm that evening, we packed up and got ready to head back to LSU. We all said our goodbyes, stopped and picked up Kenneth from his house, and were on our way back to Baton Rouge. Neither Mia nor I discussed the events that had transpired the previous night—with our friends or each other.

When we returned to the dormitory, the four of us unloaded our things from the car and went our separate ways; Mia and Marvin went up to Marvin’s dorm room on the twelfth floor, Kenneth and I to our room on the tenth. It all felt pretty awkward. Kenneth’s mom had fixed dinners for us to take back to school, and I filled him in on all the events of the weekend while we ate.

You need to talk to her, he mumbled while sucking on a chicken bone.

There’s really nothing to discuss; nothing happened between us.

Man, come on. Tell that shit to someone who doesn’t know you. The only thing that stopped y’all from doin’ the wild monkey dance was the fact that she drank too much. That girl wants to be with you, and you want to be with her just as much. If y’all don’t resolve this, she may think that you’re not interested anymore; you’re the one that’s gonna end up feeling like an ass.

You know she’s still going out with that guy Troy. And as far as I know, nothing has changed with that.

"I also know that almost every night for the last several months, she’s been down here with you, or you’ve been up there with her. I know that almost every time you leave this dorm for anything, she’s with you. I know that every time she needs a ride to go somewhere, she doesn’t call Troy…she calls you. You can’t blame it on loneliness—she has Marvin if that was the case. I see how that girl looks at you. You can’t stop talking about her. If all of that isn’t an indication that the Troy thing is history, I don’t know what is. Stop being naïve."

Okay, okay. You’ve made your point. What do you think I should do now?

I’m not saying that you should do anything, but just be aware. I’ll tell you what, though…I would at least go and talk to her tonight to see where her head is. You said that you two haven’t really spoken about last night. Get that shit out in the open before silence becomes the way you both handle one another when conflicts arise. That’s not good at the beginning of a new relationship—or friendship, for that matter. Now go handle your business, please…and let me watch this football game in peace.

Kenneth was right. I didn’t want to admit it, but I knew that Mia and I definitely needed to have a talk about what direction we wanted our relationship to take from this point. It was just easier to put it off. I wasn’t in a big hurry to hear that she wasn’t ready to leave Troy, or that maybe we were just better off as friends for now—you know, that standard crap people feed you when they want to let you down easy. But if we didn’t discuss it, the what-ifs threatened to eat me alive. With that thought in mind, I made my way up to the twelfth floor of Kirby Smith Hall.

As I knocked at the suite door, I could hear the shower on.

Come in!

I peeped my head in the door. Marvin? Hey man, you decent?

The shower stopped. You can sit in the room, Alex. I’ll be there in a second.

I just came up to see if Mia was around.

He paused briefly before answering me, as if I suddenly caught him off guard. She left to go out for a while; she should be back in a bit.

"At this time of night…by herself? Why didn’t she come and get me? I would’ve gone with her."

Uh…well, she wasn’t really by herself. Troy came by to pick her up. He said he wanted to talk to her. She shouldn’t be long. I can have her call you when she gets back.

Everything suddenly seemed very clear. Don’t worry about it, man. There was just something I wanted to ask her about, but it can wait. On second thought, Marvin, don’t even tell her I came by…I think I can figure it out on my own. Take care, man. Talk to you soon.

There was heaviness in my heart as I made my way back to my room. That’s the one thing that sucks about falling for someone: even when your head tells you that the situation is wrong, your heart refuses to listen. I knew that Mia was still involved, but all the time we had spent together had convinced me that I came first in her life. And even if she was involved, I couldn’t rightfully fault her or be upset because, well, I was still involved, too. Even though I hadn’t been involved with Alayna in any intimate way since Mia and I had gotten close, the relationship was still in existence. It’s amazing how the mind conveniently forgets what it wants to.

When I got back to the room, I told Kenneth about what happened. I made every effort to pretend that I didn’t care, but he could see me trying to cover up the hurt in my face. That’s the problem with having a best friend since grade school—they can tell when you’re lying.

Things happen for a reason, Dawg. At least now you know where you stand. She was never really dishonest with you; if anything, she is lying to herself. The messed up thing about it is that girl really likes you. She’s just been with this other guy for so long now that she’s afraid of anything else. She let her guard down a little this weekend, but then getting back to school was like getting back to her reality. But trust me…you haven’t heard the last from her.

His words didn’t help any. You’re probably right, but you know what? When she actually decides to come around, I won’t be there. I’m not gonna keep putting myself through that, man. It’s just not worth it.

Kenneth looked at me as if he didn’t believe a word I said. Yeah, whatever. We’ll see.

I took a shower, read over some class notes, and laid down to sleep. Just as I was falling asleep, the phone rang.

Hello?

Hey. It was Mia.

What’s up with you?

Nothing much. Listen, are you still awake? I wanted to come and see you.

I was about to go to bed. Where are you? I knew she could tell I was aggravated.

I’m at the Circle K on East State Street; I can be there in about ten minutes.

That’s fine. I’ll leave the door open.

Okay, I’m on my way. She abruptly hung up.

I placed the phone on the receiver, and looked over at Kenneth. He looked at me and smiled, knowingly.

Don’t you say a word, punk, I mugged, throwing my pillow at him. With that, he burst into laughter. Shortly after, we both settled down and dozed off.

About twenty minutes later, I heard Mia fumbling with the door. She came in, tip-toed around Kenneth’s bed, walked over and playfully plopped down on my twin bed. She had a small bag with her.

What’s in the bag? I asked.

Can I stay with you tonight?

Once again, without answering, I raised the blanket for her. She put her little overnight bag on my desktop and she crawled into bed, cuddling up next to me in an oversized shirt and bike tights. She reached behind her for my hand and put it around her waist.

This is getting to be a habit with you, isn’t it? I asked cynically, trying not to let on how happy I was that she was with me.

Do you mind?

I’m not sure yet. So…why did you want to see me? Did you want to talk about something?

Not really. I just know I wanted to see you tonight.

Where did you go?

She sighed deeply, and stalled for a minute, as if trying to carefully choose her words.

I was with Troy. He called me and asked me to come over so we could spend some time together. So I packed a few things as I always do, expecting to stay over at his apartment.

What happened?

We weren’t even out of the dorm before we got into an argument.

What were you arguing about?

"In a word…you. He asked me where I was this weekend, and I told him. He started to jump to all kinds of conclusions, calling me a tramp and a slut. We stopped for gas at the Circle K and got into a huge fight right there in the parking lot. I told him that I didn’t think our relationship would last much longer. Finally, I asked him to bring me back here…which is where I wanted to be anyway."

What are you saying?

"The whole time I was with Troy, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. After this past weekend, I felt like I was doing something wrong—being with him, I mean. I felt like I owed you an explanation. I’ve never felt like that before. I had this feeling that you would be upset. Were you?"

"Who, me? Nah! Why would you think that?"

Kenneth smothered his laughter into his pillow. Stop lying, you punk-ass bitch!

Shut up, man! I thought you were sleeping!

We all laughed for about 2 minutes, and then fell asleep almost simultaneously.

We Be Clubbin’

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Even though Mia and I had taken a few baby steps toward a more intimate relationship, that realization was still a long way off. We were both comfortable with admitting that there was something happening between us; the difficult part came in knowing where to go from there. So for the remainder of that 1993 spring semester, we did nothing to pursue anything more than friendship. We did, however, find reasons to spend nearly everyday together. I would pretend that it didn’t bother me when she left with Troy for the weekend, and she would pretend she was unaffected when Alayna would come down to spend a weekend with me. During the week, we studied for classes at the library together, washed our clothes together, watched prime time soaps together, and even slept together platonically on occasion. Our friendship began to mirror her relationship with Marvin, and I didn’t know whether that was a good or a bad thing. I had suddenly become her best friend, and I had heard about guys getting trapped in that category. It was a very confusing time.

One particular Thursday evening comes to mind. Mia and I were hanging out in Marvin’s dorm room reading over some class notes. I could tell that her mind was elsewhere, though.

What’s the deal with you tonight?

Let’s go out.

Where do you wanna go?

Let’s go to a club.

Isn’t that normally something that you and Marvin do together?

Marvin and Kim went to the movies tonight.

"Who’s Kim?"

A girl that Marvin’s been crazy about since high school.

Does she like him?

As a friend—nothing more. What do you say?

I can’t dance, Mia.

So? You don’t have to. You wanna go?

Okay.

Go get dressed. Meet you downstairs in twenty minutes. She was all excited as she ran to take her shower.

I had never gone out to a club in my life before that night; it really wasn’t my idea of fun. From the stories that I had heard, it was just a lot of people drinking and trying to pick each other up. To me, you