The Beatification of Shirley: A Play in Two Acts

By Wayne Berry

The Beatification of Shirley chronicles the Whitford family's journey through decades of miscalculations and misguided intentions. At a time of society's access to an expanding base of knowledge,Conrad Whitford will completely reject any new information and be very wary of anyone who embraces new ideas. Lorraine,his wife,will blindly second his every opinion because The Bible tells her to do so. Their children will have to navigate their way through a minefield of Biblical inperatives about which there can be no discussion. The oldest,Norman,will struggle to survive in a world stacked against him. He is gay. The second son,Randy,will conform as best he can to a value system he doesn't want to second guess,but will fall short. The oldest daughter, Shirley,will be the weakest link in the fabric of the family,and an unfortunate victim of her parent's overprotection. She will be elevated to the status of a Saint. The youngest,and adopted,Beverly,will not subscribe to anything without questioning,causing her parents unexpected grief. The family,and everyone who comes in contact with them,will plunge deeper into turmoil as Conrad's ever-growing distrust of anyone who may think they know more then he does, and an unrelenting reliance on strictly literal interpretatiion of His Bible,will sweep the unsuspecting passengers toward an impending train wreck. There will be many casualties. All will be atributed,by Conrad,Lorraine and Shirley,to Devine Intervention,keeping them in a house that Shirley is convinced is her birthright,but might just eat people for lunch.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Mar 19, 2010
• ISBN: 9781449083892

Wayne Berry

Wayne Berry has tried his hand at many endeavors and worn many hats. After singing professionally, he completed his years in The Armed Services with distinction. As a civilian he worked in the medical field in the critical care area, private care, intiation of the medical coding system, and insurance adjustment. He ran a plant/gift store, did landscaping/plant maintenance for both the private and business sectors. He owned and managed a bed and breakfast. Retired, and now living in Dallas, writing is just his latest hat.

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THE BEATIFICATION OF

SHIRLEY

A PLAY IN TWO ACTS

WAYNE BERRY

AuthorHouse™

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.authorhouse.com

Phone: [phone]

© 2010 Wayne Berry. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  02/14/2023

ISBN: 978-1-4490-8388-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4490-8389-2 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in

this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views

expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the

views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Characters

Act I

Scene One

Scene Two

Scene Three

Scene Four

Scene Five

Scene Six

Scene Seven

Scene Eight

Scene Nine

Scene Ten

Scene Eleven

Scene Twelve

Scene Thirteen

Scene Fourteen

Scene Fifteen

Scene Sixteen

Scene Seventeen

Scene Eighteen

Scene Nineteen

Scene Twenty

Scene Twenty-One

Scene Twenty-Two

Scene Twenty-Three

Scene Twenty-Four

Scene Twenty-Five

Scene Twenty-Six

Scene Twenty-Seven

Scene Twenty-Eight

Scene Twnety-Nine

Scene Thrity

Scene Thirty-One

Scene Thrity-Two

Scene Thirty-Three

Scene Thirty-Four

Scene Thirty-Five

Act Two

Scene One

Scene Two

Scene Three

Scene Four

Scene Five

Scene Six

Scene Seven

Scene Eight

Scene Nine

Scene Ten

Scene Eleven

Scene Twelve

Scene Thirteen

Scene Fourteen

Scene Fifteen

Scene Sixteen

Scene Seventeen

Scene Eighteen

Scene Nineteen

Scene Twenty

ALSO BY WAYNE BERRY:

IS THIS THE FUN PART?

AN ANTHOLOGY

THE GUESTHOUSE

A NOVEL

THE BEATIFICATION OF

SHIRLEY

A PLAY IN TWO ACTS

WAYNE BERRY

THE BEATIFICATION OF

SHIRLEY

A PLAY IN TWO ACTS

The story of a Dysfunctional, Right Wing, Bigoted, Evangelical

Family.

SETTING: A home in rural, middle class America, but within easy reach of a major metropolis. It is a throwback to the 50’s. June Clever, Donna Reed or Harriet Nelson could appear at any moment. The set consists of the kitchen, upstage right in the background, the living and dining rooms are center stage and can be seen and/or used separately or simultaneously, depending on where the action is taking place. Furnishings and appliances are old, until a mass replacement occurs in a gift scene. Upstage left are two small bedrooms with doors that lead out into an unseen hallway which enters the set upstage center between the kitchen and the living room and dining areas. They serve as sleeping arrangements as needed for all characters. Downstage right or left, small mini-sets can be wheeled in for action taking place anywhere other than inside the Whitford home.

CHARACTERS:

CONRAD WHITFORD: A WWII Purple Heart recipient with just a high school education and a deep distrust and animosity for anyone with more than that. He compensates by perceiving himself better than they. He is fiercely Republican and conservative. He holds deep seated hatred for any other race, and uses racial epithets routinely. His religious views border on the fanatic and his interpretations are wildly literal. He is the ultimate authority in the family. Whenever he is not in a scene, he is seated in his favorite chair in the living room cutting articles from newspapers. There is always a stack of papers by his chair and a growing stack of boxes in which the articles are being stored. Conrad is addicted to Right Wing, Conservative, Republican, Evangelical radio talk shows and sermons. They play before curtain, between scenes and often Norman, Beverly, or Randy have to turn them off to talk. Shirley has picked up on Conrad’s obsession and often has similar shows on the radio in her room.

LORRAINE WHITFORD (Dowd): Conrad’s wife, city bred, she fled to life with Conrad and soon learned to be the subservient handmaiden Conrad felt The Bible instructed her to be. She is not permitted any opinions of her own and must support any her husband puts forth. She is expected to be a stay-at-home wife and mother; she may not work. Her sole identity is her husband and children. She has been poorly equipped to deal with the physical demands of her wifely duties by a mother of fairly Victorian ideas and has been plagued by many miscarriages.

NORMAN WHITFORD: The oldest of four children, gay, and trying to deal with his own identity and the extreme prejudice of a judgmental religion, while not causing any excess turmoil in an already turmoil filled environment. Norman is extremely bright, also awarded a Purple Heart after serving with distinction in the service, then a college graduate and a Registered Nurse. He then becomes one of those overly educated people his father distrusts.

RANDY WHITFORD: Second son and six years Norman’s junior. He is an athlete and not as scholastically inclined. Conrad relates much more easily with Randy. Randy also conforms to and accepts more of his father’s ideas and odd interpretation of scriptures, with which Norman will have many problems. Randy’s attempt’s at marriage will fail, perhaps due to the strict precepts instilled in him by his father, which hinders his sex life with his wife. His marriage will not last as long as Norman’s relationship with his partner, nor sister Beverly’s with her husband. Shirley will have no relationships whatsoever.

SHIRLEY WHITFORD: Oldest daughter and four years younger than Randy. Shirley has had the misfortune to suffer from asthma and a plethora of allergies. Her brush with death as an infant will be the catalyst for the dynamics of the entire family. The gross mismanagement of her disease and over-protective approach adopted by Conrad and Lorraine will send the whole family into a tailspin, while Shirley rises above it all as some kind of Saint and ultimate religious soothsayer. She has matured physically, but mentally and emotionally she is still a pre-teen. She speaks rapidly, running her words together, and it is obvious to anyone except her parents that she is not fine. Other than gaining a little weight and turning a little grey, Shirley does not change. Other than scenes where Norman has provided her with some elegant clothes, she wears sweats and baggy, unattractive outfits. Wherever Shirley lands on stage, a spotlight appears on her like some guardian angel. Often when not in a scene, she appears alone in her bedroom, either listening to her religious shows, reading her Bible, or praying, at the same time Conrad is sitting in his chair cutting out his pertinent articles for posterity.

BEVERLY WHITFORD (Broady): Youngest daughter, six years younger than Shirley, adopted, and the strongest willed of all the Whitford children. She brings an entirely different prospective from an entirely different gene pool, although she is not aware for some time that she is not a biological Whitford. She resents the constant laments from her mother that she is not more like Shirley. She is rebellious, does things the other siblings would never dared to have done or ever gotten away with. Conrad and Loraine are older and perhaps tired and more lax with her. They have simply spent most of their time seeing to Shirley’s complete care to the exclusion of the kind of diligence they always provided for their other children. Beverly’s daughter, Lisa, suffers from asthma, like Shirley, but receives competent medical management.

JOHN ROWLEY: Norman’s partner and from the family’s perspective, his parent’s at least, friend. John is an accepted member of the family as long as the real relationship is kept a secret. His role will change when their real relationship is revealed.

BLAINE BROADY: Beverly’s husband, divorced, but not before Beverly has moved in with him. He has two children from his first marriage in custody of his ex-wife. Blaine has figured out the dynamics of this family pretty well, and yet has gone ahead and become a part of it all, keeping his own council as much as possible, but unable to remain silent always.

VIVIAN DOWD: Lorraine’s mother, Victorian in her ideas of sex, but otherwise a most outgoing, gregarious old woman. She prefers the company of young people to old. She uses words in a totally different context, like the word gay, which makes Norman nervous. She dislikes her son-in-law and finds subtle ways to annoy him. When in a wheelchair, far from an invalid, she pays her own way and feels she’s entitled to her own opinion, which clashes constantly with Conrad’s view that she is not. Vivian is always aware of her appearance and takes pains to look nice. She looks almost the same at over 100 as she did in her late 70’s, when she first appears on stage.

RUTH GIORDANO (Dowd): Lorraine’s younger sister, married to a Catholic and much more laid back and accepting, she has a marriage and children which give her much more pleasure than her sister seems to enjoy. Her husband, Lonnie, does not get on well with Conrad, and will flee, with his family, once Conrad gets on his soapbox. She is also concerned and aware of Shirley’s predicament, but never voices her concerns directly to Lorraine. She gets information indirectly from Shirley’s phone conversation with her daughter, Barbara.

HARRY & SYLVIA HOOPER: Conrad’s and Lorraine’s best friends from before they were married. They have remained friends despite the many twists and turns of Conrad’s religious journeys, while everyone else has departed in self defense. They will step up to the plate to bail the Whitfords out. They are two more witnesses to Shirley’s almost abusive over-protection, but never confront their long time friends directly.

PATRICIA LUNDY: A friend of Lorraine’s from church, one who chooses to distance herself rather than cause hard feelings after witnessing Shirley’s treatment and confronting the subject directly. Beverly is best friends with Patricia’s daughter, Christine.

JEAN OSGOOD: Lorraine’s favorite cousin, same age, outspoken, unmarried, not a fan of Conrad’s either. Lorraine and Jean grew up together, but their lives have become very different. Jean feels very sorry for Lorraine and the choices she’s made, but adores her children, who all call her Aunt. She is also Vivian’s favorite niece.

FRANK KIMBLE: Jean’s lifetime boyfriend. He is gruff, straight-forward, also adores Lorraine’s children and they call him Uncle Frank, a wealthy businessman who has the wherewithal to also assist the Whitford family when they need it most.

HAROLD & SUSAN FOLEY: The man with whom Randy’s wife has been having an affair and his wife. They make a bizarre visit to the Whitford home with some telling accusations directed at Randy, the Whitford’s second son.

Extras: A Waiter, Diners, Bartender, Gay Bar Patrons, Stagehands, and a Hospital Medical Team.

ACT I

SCENE ONE

(The dining room table of the Whitford home. Conrad, Lorraine, Norman, Randy, Shirley and Beverly have congregated for a family conference for the first time in the family’s history. The Whitford’s have not, and do not, communicate well at all. There is a financial crises which is the primary reason that precipitated the meeting. Norman has also decided to finally come out after 25 years with his partner, John. Norman turns off the religious rhetoric coming from a nearby radio before taking his seat and starting the discussion.)

NORMAN: I know this is a rather odd request that Randy and Bev have made, along with me, but we’ve all become aware of some very serious matters that we thought the entire family should sit down, discuss, and deal with together. The problems we’ve discovered are not new, but are now much more dire than they should ever have been allowed to become. Frankly, I don’t understand how things could ever have become this bad before some attempt was made to say or do something. It makes me angry when no one says anything until the situation is critical and it makes it that much more difficult to try and salvage everything at a moment’s notice.

CONRAD: It’s not really your place to worry about anything, now is it? This is my house and I don’t much appreciate you all marching in here, calling a