Woman to Woman

By Tawnya Rachelle

Woman to Woman is a book filled with situations that Women who are single, married, mothers, in church, who are destructive and who consider themselves to be real can relate to. As women, we all share some commonalities when it comes to relationships with men, our children, our families, our friends, our co-workers etc. There are times when we are faced with a challenging situation or set of circumstances in which we just don't know what to do or quite frankly how to handle. We sometimes go through situations that we are just to embarrassed to talk to anyone about. This book offers an uplifting alternative and possible suggestions on how to handle certain situations. Women from all walks of life will be able to identify with several of the situations presented within the various chapters of Woman to Woman.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: May 29, 2009
• ISBN: 9781467828383

Tawnya Rachelle

Tawnya Rachelle is a creative force to be reckoned with. She is a Mother of five, who has learned the importance of finding a balance between working, raising her children, taking care of her responsibilities at home while continuing her education and managing not to lose herself in the process. Tawnya Rachelle continues to seek new ways to understand the World, the people in it and the views and beliefs they hold by seeking self-knowledge, and allowing that knowledge to guide her love of self, love of family, friends and others. She is a caring, hardworking, uplifting, inspiring, persistent, educated, exciting, fun and loving person. She is a provider, motivator, friend and a great cook. Her creativity is expressed through her many talents which include: cooking, singing, fashion, writing song lyrics, poems and books. She has learned a lot through her many life experiences and embraces every opportunity for learning and self-discovery. She has recently earned her Masters of Business Administration in Human Resource Management from Indiana Wesleyan University, August 2013. Tawnya Rachelle truly Laughs often, Loves hard, and Lives her life to the fullest!

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© 2010 Tawnya Rachelle. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 3/29/2010

ISBN: 978-1-4343-1533-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4343-1534-2 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4678-2838-3 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2009905177

Printed in the United States of America

Bloomington, Indiana

Contents

Introduction

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Conclusion

About the Author

Special Thanks

I would like to first give thanks to God for all of the talents that he has given me. I would like to thank my parents, Patricia and Joseph, for giving me life. I would like to thank my stepparents, Earlene and Ron, for putting up with me during my childhood and teenage years. I would like to thank Norris, Michael, Derek, Norris Jr, Aysia, Quinton, Judy, Tanchie & David for their help, love, and support. Thank you, Cordella, Michelle, Valerie, and Sharon for all of your guidance and inspiration. You guys, or shall I say girls, have truly been a blessing to me. I would like to thank Cindy, Jackie, Connie, Jacquita, Kyra, Nancy, Keisha, Sherry, Shirley, and Faye for all of your help. I would like to thank my grandparents, aunts and uncles, brothers and sister, nieces and nephews, cousins and friends. Our family connection kept me grounded and helped me remember where I came from. And last but not least, I would like to thank everyone in my circle for all of his or her love, support, and spiritual guidance.

I would also like to pay tribute to Oprah Winfrey, as it was her show that inspired me to write this book. Thank you, Oprah, for all of the positive things that you do!

Photography courtesy of Brandon LaMar of Third Eye Photography.

In memory of and dedication to those who have gone on before me:

Great-Grandmother Lucille, Great-Grandfather Raymond,

Grandfather Johnny, Grandfather Herbert,

Grandmother Winifred, and Aunt Mary.

Introduction

There are many types of women and as women we go through several different stages in our lives. We are daughters, then we become mothers; we are single, then we get married; we are in the world, then we get into church; we are destructive, then we are real. We all have one common thread: at some point in time we have been one of these women. We have caused someone pain somewhere. We have made someone happy; we have made someone sad. We have been positive; we have been negative. We have been sick and we have been well. We have been up and we have been down. We have been a friend. We have been an enemy. We have loved and been loved. We have hated and been hated. We have been a virgin. We have been sexually free. We have been faithful or not. We have been a saint; we have been a sinner. Women usually leave a path of destruction. Yes, you too! Don’t sit there and act like you have never done it. Oh, did I just step on your toes? Please forgive me for speaking the truth to you. Someone has to do it. Problem is, while you are too busy walkin’ around here thinking you’re perfect and your stuff don’t stink, you are destroying other women who cross your path. Maybe you know what you are doing. Maybe you are so caught up in your own little world that you have never stopped to ask yourself what effect your actions have on the people that you come into contact with. Maybe your intentions are to cause pain because of your anger, jealousy, hate, or envy. Maybe you unintentionally hurt others because of your own selfishness or unwillingness to help someone else or listen to someone else’s problems because you don’t have the time, don’t want to, or whatever other excuse you can think of. Do you know what effect your life has on others? Do you even care?

As women we need to understand that we have been given the awesome task of being the shapers of this world. We are strong by nature. We keep the human race growing because we are the ones who have been blessed with the ability to give birth to children. Although it does take a man to plant the seed, it is the woman who nurtures that baby in her womb, births the child into the world, and for the most part has the major influence in shaping and molding that child into an adult. We are also the backbone of our marriages and our homes. Have you ever heard the saying Behind every good man, there is a good woman? Well, if you don’t know it, you’d better ask somebody. A woman’s strength is required of her on a daily basis. Her wisdom, understanding, empathy, and loving and caring nature are an essential part of the well-being of this world. Women make this world go ’round. With so much power to make or break the balance of this world’s emotional ecosystem, it is important for us to understand our role as it relates to our men, our children, our race, this world, and more importantly, ourselves.

A woman should build up her man, not tear him down. A woman should nurture her children, not neglect them. A woman should acknowledge her fellow sister, not ignore her. In order to do this, a woman has to love and know herself. Getting to know yourself and then love yourself is a challenging process and will require change.

Part of the process of imparting change in your life is to ask yourself what can I do better? That’s right. It’s the art of self-reflection: holding a mirror up to yourself and honestly discovering and accepting your flaws, positive and negative actions and reactions. It is only through this process that you can truly embrace and effect change in your life. This is the only way to blossom into the true strong woman that you already are by nature. Some of us are stronger than others, but we all have strength. Whether you exercise your God-given strength is up to you. Discovering your strength begins with your ability to heal from your past hurts, forgive others of their trespasses, and forgive yourself for making mistakes and for not being perfect. Discovering your strength ends with your ability to live your life to its full potential.

As you read through the pages of this book, you may find yourself in these women, in different stages of your life, maybe your past or maybe your future. Maybe your mother, sister, daughter, cousin, neighbor, friend, or acquaintance is within the pages of this book. Instead of gossiping or being negative about them or the situation that they are facing at this point in time in their life, try to do something positive for your sister friend. Offer a healing touch or a kind word, a powerful prayer or a loving gesture; a simple smile or hello will do. This is real sisterhood. Try it some time, or do you even know how? How many times have you actually stopped to help another woman with a problem without gossiping and telling her business to someone else without her consent? When was the last time someone confided in you and said Don’t tell anyone and as soon as the sister left, you were on the phone calling everyone you knew to air this sister’s dirty laundry. When was the last time you looked at another sister and said, I would never do that, I would never be that, I would never blah, blah, blah and later on found yourself in a similar situation. Never say never. That very thing that you said you would never do is the very thing that you will end up doing. That very situation that she was in and you belittled her about is the very same situation that you will find yourself in. Life has a funny way of turning things around like that, and the sad thing is we usually don’t even see it coming. It’s usually not until you find yourself in these situations that you are confronted with those very words you spoke: I would never… And actually what you did is speak that situation into existence in your life. How many times have you talked about, laughed at, rolled your eyes at, or turned your nose up at another sister because of your own insecurities? I am reminded of an e-mail I received called Sister My Sister. Its origin is unknown and it specifically speaks about African-American women, but I’d venture to say that women of all nationalities could relate. The e-mail says "My husband asked me, Why is it when black women approach each other or pass each other, they either turn their heads or look away from each other? This made me more observant and conscious of my own actions. Perhaps I was doing it unconsciously, so I made it a point not to. Whenever I am approaching another sister, I make it a point to smile and say, ‘hi,’ ‘hello,’ or ‘how are you?’" However, I noticed that sisters do exactly what my husband observed. We should be aware of this. We should always be in support of each other and promote sisterhood. If we don’t, no one will do it for us. Sister my Sister, can I speak with you for a minute? No, I don’t want to hear your business, ’cause I ain’t trying to be in it. I’d like