Fire & Desire

By Micki Murphy

FIRE & DESIRE

This is and amazing story of love, tremendous courage, anguish, frustration and loss, and finally the coming into her own for this fascinating young woman. Experience her emotional journey.
Ron; the man who showed her the deepest love shed ever known will warm your heart. The thrilling mystery and paralyzing fear surrounding his disappearance and death will have you on the edge of your seat. Lauras overwhelming grief and desperate search for the truth will make you think.

This gritty urban fictionalized novel is based on a TRUE STORY.
Full of intrigue, steamy passion, lust, jealousy, and
MURDER! All in the life of a young single mother struggling to pursue her life long dream of being a singer.

Lauras live in-in boyfriend Seth was cold, uncaring, abusive and blatantly cheated with other women. Their relationship was over they merely shared the same space.

Ron; a mutual friend showed her compassion and love when she desperately needed someone.
Just as their romance was blossoming Ron was murdered. Laura was devastated and consumed by his death; to make matters worse she suspected Seth might be involved.

Slowly she gained the strength to say goodbye and rebuild her shattered life.

Finally Laura met the man who would change her life. Drake Edwards; a talented Entertainer, he was new in town and looking for a female vocalist to work with.


Fate was kind and Laura was given a second chance at happiness and the opportunity to raise her voice, lift her spirit and sing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jun 30, 2009
• ISBN: 9781449001520

Micki Murphy

This illustrious performing artist who was born in Stuttgart, Germany has spent a great majority of her life traveling. Her father was a pilot in the military; her mother who is perhaps her greatest inspiration was also a singer, thus exposing Micki to music in her earliest years.         Micki's musical career has taken her around the world to places like: Tokyo, Yokohama, Osaka, and Nagoya, and Kyoto, Japan, Singapore, Hong Kong, Korea, Taiwan, Beijing and Shanghai, China, and Bangkok, Thailand. Micki has a special love for Asia and is well received there.  She is most at home and indeed happiest when she is performing on stage.  Micki has also been writing since she was a teen she has written and recorded her original songs. She began writing about a horrific and heart wrenching experience that changed her life forever. Although there are some vague similarities between some of the characters in Fire & Desire and actual persons that Micki has encountered in her life, they are indeed fictional.  Fire & Desire's story line is based on true evens however it is a fictional novel and is not autobiographical.  

Book preview

Chapter One

I was feeling a little down, after all my birthday was coming soon and I had been living with a guy for a year and a half who was spoiled, insensitive, and would rather spend his evenings with his friends then me. I tried to fit in with them, however I thought they were pretentious boors, always talking about what they bought and how much they paid for it and who they know. In essence, we had nothing in common.

Seth was living with his brother in a condo when we met, but his brother suddenly decided to sell it and move back East for a new job offer, so even though we had only been seeing each other for a few months at the time, naturally I offered to let him stay with me until he could find a place of his own, that was over a year and a half ago. Little did I know that he expected a surrogate mother and personal servant. Seth couldn’t boil water, even the simplest thing like making a sandwich seemed beyond his grasp, and he was quite nasty as I found out, he left his clothes all over the floor wherever he took them off, and wouldn’t even put his plate in the sink after a meal. Dishes and glasses were all over the house. I was constantly picking up after him and he would have the audacity to complain about my cooking.

I was doing secretarial work for a home improvement company working full time Monday through Friday from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m., and a half-day every other Saturday. Additionally I was pursuing my first love and passion, music. I had been singing in local night clubs in bands for about five years. I had just landed a gig at an upscale club that just opened, and was really burning the candle at both ends.

Seth used to come to my gigs and support me but I guess the excitement had worn off because once again, his precious friends took precedence over little old me. However, he had a friend that he worked with who used to accompany him but continued to come out to see me perform even after Seth stopped. Ron was always there, sitting front and center. I could sense he had a crush on me. He would hang around long after the show was over and was full of conversation. He looked into my eyes as if he were a little boy who was completely mesmerized. I thought Ron was a sweet guy and would make someone a great boyfriend, just not me. I mean, he just wasn’t my type. He was kind of short, his clothes always seemed a little tight on him, and he wore these ugly glasses that were too big for his face. I wasn’t superficial or anything, I just wasn’t physically attracted to him, although there was something about him that made me think of him often.

I had always maintained a day job as I was a single parent of a 9-year-old little girl and couldn’t make it on the meager earnings of my music gigs and sometimes there were no gigs at all. Mattie (short for Madeline) and I were very close and sometimes I think we were growing up together, at fifteen I was barely a teenager when I had her. I met her father my first year of high school. Chris was a tall and handsome, he was the star player on the basketball team and quite popular. He was soft-spoken but smart and had a great sense of humor. He was three years older than I. There was an instant infatuation between us and soon he was walking me home from school holding my hand. When my mother found out about us she forbade me to see him, so I started sneaking out to meet him. Eventually one thing led to another and I ended up pregnant. Chris just left town. I never blamed him because I was next to the youngest of seven siblings and the first to make my mother a grandma and she was threatening him with criminal charges. He was just young and scared, hell we both were. Fortunately with the help of my family I did manage to finish high school and even worked my way through two years of college.

I was really wearing myself out as I had just enough time to run home from my day job and change into my stage clothes. I would grab a bite to eat and head towards my gig and by the time I got home at around 2:30 a.m. and got to bed about 3:15 a.m. I was averaging five hours of sleep a night. I remember thinking I didn’t know how much longer I could handle this.

I started having car problems, which I obviously didn’t need. I wasn’t exactly sure what was wrong; there were no clear indications that something was broken or faulty. I just felt an odd fear every time I got behind the wheel. I drove my Ferrero to the dealer and told them to keep it until they could figure out what was wrong with it. Fortunately, Seth agreed to let me drive his car until mine was repaired, surprisingly since he loved that Saab and it was the only thing he kept clean. He could catch a ride to work with a friend.

It was day four of driving Seth’s car and I was heading to my day job, feeling completely overwhelmed and stressed out. I stopped at a red light and happened to glance over to my right at a woman waiting at a bus stop. I thought maybe I should offer her a ride but decided that wouldn’t be a wise thing to do. Just because she was a woman didn’t mean I could trust her, besides she probably wasn’t going my way and I certainly didn’t have time to drive out of my way.

My light turned green and I looked both ways then stepped on the gas pedal. I had noticed a van to my left on the cross street; he was approaching his light (which was obviously red) slowing down and coming to a stop, or so I thought. The next thing I remember hearing was, Get her out of the car, I smell gas!

My head throbbed with pain. There was a big lump on the left side of my skull where I hit the side panel. I heard sirens and a crowd of people had surrounded the car. I guess I was in shock because the only thing I was concerned about was calling Seth on his mobile phone to let him know that it wasn’t my fault.

The paramedics had to literally pry the phone out of my hands as they pulled me from the car and into a waiting ambulance. All the while, I kept saying, I have to let Seth know it wasn’t my fault. Oh God how was I going to face him. I was terrified of his reaction; he’d hate me for this. That car was his pride and joy. Tears streamed from my eyes and blurred my vision as I tried to view the remains of his precious automobile. I imagined the look of anger, disgust, and disappointment on his face. I could hear him scolding me the way he did when ever I forgot to do some thing that he asked me to, or dropped some thing or made the slighted mistake. How could you be so stupid, watch what you’re doing. Can’t you do anything right? He made me feel like a moronic imbecile. They lay me on a board and put a neck brace on me. Seth’s car was completely totaled. There were about twenty feet of skid marks. Apparently, the van driver thought he could speed up, beat the light, and cross the intersection before I did. By the time I arrived at the hospital I was more coherent but was in a lot of pain in my neck and back and the harsh reality hit me that I didn’t have medical insurance. What was I going to do? I certainly couldn’t afford to be off work and I didn’t even have sick pay. There were so many tests, EKG’s, x-rays, blood tests. Oh God, how was I going to pay for this?

Finally, the doctor gave me a shot for pain just as Seth walked to the room. As it turned out, I had a slight concussion and a sprained neck and back. I thought about the strange coincidence of me having put my Ferrero in the shop and the eerie fear that came over me every time I got behind the wheel of it, and I realized that it could only have been an act of God, a warning because I would have been killed on impact and my car would have been crushed. I said my prayers, thankful to be alive. The doctor ordered physical therapy, prescribed muscle relaxers, pain medication, and said I could be released to go home; however, I was not to work for the next four months.

Seth appeared to be so caring and concerned. He kept telling me not to worry about the car, holding me as I cried and apologized profusely. He stopped to pick up my prescriptions and literally carried me up the stairs of our apartment and put me in bed. Mattie was due home from school any minute and I didn’t want her to be frightened or worried about me. I knew right away that I was going to have to get an attorney.

Over the next few days, I painstakingly searched through the phone book for an attorney that specialized in accident cases because it was the only way that I could have my medical expenses taken care of, besides it was the jerk’s fault that hit me. He was ticketed by a police officer and there were also witnesses and I needed an orthopedic specialist. I finally found a lawyer who I was comfortable with and decided to meet with him. He was more than happy to take my case and once I signed the contract, he sent me right to a doctor. After a full examination, the doctor confirmed that I had a bad neck and back sprain. I was given a prescription for therapy three times a week and told to continue taking the muscle relaxers prescribed by the attending physician at the emergency room. He also confirmed the fact that I wouldn’t be able to return to work for at least 3 to 4 months. Seth was waiting for a settlement check from his insurance company for his totaled car.

Chapter 2

In the days that followed, I got into a routine of making breakfast, going to therapy, cleaning up the apartment, coming home and fixing dinner, taking my medicine and going to bed.

Seth was only coming home to shower, change, and eat, and then he was out the door and didn’t return until late in the evening, sometimes after midnight. He reeked of beer and I suspected he was doing cocaine as he was always sniffing and his eyes were red. He seemed edgy and nervous.

I think he was secretly harboring angry feelings towards me for wrecking his car. I was feeling so depressed I cried a lot. Ron started calling me in the morning after he knew that Seth had left for work. He was so kind and caring, he said I needed massages every day and suggested that Seth should give them to me.

Are you kidding? I asked, He doesn’t even want to be anywhere near me; he doesn’t even come home until he’s sure that I’m asleep.

Ron acted surprised to hear me say those things about Seth and indicated that if I needed anything at all I could call him. Ron called every day and I waited for his calls with anticipation. Our talks were taking a rather intimate turn. He’d say, I been thinking about you a lot, and I’d answer I’ve been thinking about you too.

He confessed that he had always been crazy about me but he knew he wasn’t my type. He asked if he could see me but I told him that it wouldn’t be wise to come to my place under the circumstances and he understood, but asked if he could meet me somewhere. I nervously said yes, at the facility where I go to therapy, we could meet in the parking lot after my session.

I was so nervous but excited. How would I react when I saw him? Did I really like him or was I just lonely, and oh God if Seth ever found out he’d go ballistic on me. His ego couldn’t handle the idea that I could be with anyone else whether he wanted me or not.

Seth is tall and handsome; he has a great physique and looks great in his clothes no matter what he wears, from jeans to a tailor-made suit. He was also very charismatic; everyone seemed to like him and wanted to be in his company. He was a much better friend then lover/boyfriend.

The minute I walked out of the therapy facility, I heard Ron’s horn. He got out of his jeep and walked towards me. Hello, he said, looking right into my eyes.

Hi. We stared at each other silently for a moment, and then he hugged me, which was a little surprising. I regained my composure and looked around the parking lot thinking someone might see us. He asked if I wanted to sit in the Jeep and talk, I said all right. He had such a soft comforting raspy voice. He asked me to turn my back towards him and he began to massage my neck and back. It felt so good I found myself becoming aroused and noticed how large his hands were. I could hear his breathing becoming heavy. As he spoke to me, his voice was nearly down to a whisper.

Laura, he said, I don’t know where this is going to lead; all I know is, I want to see you, be with you whenever I can.

I want to be with you too, Ron. I replied. We were having such a wonderful time that I hadn’t noticed the time. It was nearly time for my daughter to come home from school. Oh Ron, I’ve got to go. My daughter will be home soon. He understood and walked me to my car. He hugged me so tightly, gently kissed me on the lips, and we said goodbye. I drove home floating on a cloud. It was as if I was seeing Ron for the first time and he was everything that Seth wasn’t and everything I needed. I was finally starting to feel better and had cut back on the medication which made me lethargic and sleepy.

I got a call to do a gig in Galveston, Texas right across from the beach. It was an outdoor show in a small amphitheater; unfortunately, it didn’t pay very much money. It was on a Saturday so I decided to bring Mattie. The show was only three hours long and we could spend the rest of the day at the beach.

I called Ron to see if he could join us. He said he didn’t know but he would try to make it. Seth also knew about my gig but didn’t say he would be there. Throughout the show, I found myself looking for Ron whenever someone walked into the arena. We were just about to close the show with only two songs remaining when Ron walked in. I was so happy to see him I smiled and waved. He waved back but just as he walked towards the stage, someone else walked in behind him. I squinted to see better, it was Seth! My excitement quickly turned to fear. I could feel my knees weakening, and my hands were shaking so badly that I nearly dropped the microphone. My voiced cracked as I tried my damnedest to smile and act pleasantly surprised.

I managed to get through the show and dreaded having to look them both in the eye. We were all hungry and decided to eat at a seafood restaurant nearby. We were seated and I was trying to focus my attention on my daughter but Ron kept staring at me. I was obviously nervous so I excused myself and walked out onto the balcony where they had telescopes set up facing out towards the ocean. I started looking through one of the telescopes.

Are you all right? a voice asked.

I was startled and turned around to find myself looking into Ron’s eyes. I’m all right, I said. I didn’t know Seth was coming.

I know, Ron replied. Seth called me at the last minute and asked me to ride down with him. I agreed but decided to drive my own car and he followed me. You look beautiful.

Thanks, you look good too. We were so busy looking into each other eyes I almost forgot that my daughter and Seth could see us. We better go back inside, I said.

When we got back to the table, our food was served. Seth had a strange look on his face, like What the hell is going on? All through the meal, Seth was staring at me as was Ron. Seth asked me, How much money did you make?

Seth, I only made fifty dollars.

Okay, so give me half of it, he said.

Seth, this is all the money I have and I’m not going back to work for another two months.

I don’t care; I want half of the money.

At first, I thought he was kidding and I even laughed at his comment but I soon learned that he was dead serious. Ron was listening with disbelief. I know he wanted to say something but he knew it wasn’t his place; he just excused himself saying he was tired and had to go home. We all said our goodbyes and he left. The minute Ron walked away from the table Seth turned to me and angrily asked, What the hell is going on between you and Ron?

What? What are you talking about? I innocently asked.

I saw how you were staring at each other. Are you fucking Ron? he asked.

First of all, don’t speak to me that way, especially in front of my daughter.

Oh, Mattie I’m sorry, he said looking at my daughter.

She didn’t even respond to him. Mattie was very protective of her mom. Let’s just go home, I said.

Seth motioned to the waiter and he quickly came to our table. Seth asked for the check. The waiter looked bewildered. The check, sir, he asked, the gentlemen that just left paid the entire bill.

Oh, he did? Seth asked.

Yes, Sir.

Seth left a hefty tip and we left the restaurant.

I was smiling inside thinking, now that’s a real man. I was glad he made Seth look cheap. There was hardly anything left between us; we just occupied the same apartment. I thought of all the times I cried and begged him to spend time with me, even when I was in pain he seemed to be oblivious to it, and one night he didn’t bother to come home at all. Instead, he came home the next afternoon smelling of beer and a woman’s perfume with a lame story about staying at his best friend’s house. What he didn’t know was that I had driven to his friend’s house at about five a.m. and knocked on the door even though, neither of their cars were in the parking lot. I even waited in my car for over an hour before giving up and going home. After that I didn’t feel the same about him and really didn’t care what he did or with whom.

Chapter 3

My two best friends, Josie and Marie knew I was feeling better and invited me to go out. Okay, I said, "It’s about time I got back in the swing of things. We decided to meet at the Zanzibar, a popular nightclub. I had been keeping them abreast of my situation with Seth and they had been a source of support to me. They couldn’t stand Seth because of the way he treated me and he couldn’t stand them either because they were single or dated a lot.

I called Ron and he was delighted to meet us there. I was trying to get dressed and out of the house before Seth came home. I wanted to look sexy tonight and I had just the right outfit in mind, a red and black full body spandex leotard with thin straps, a floral print and lace trimmed vee neckline. Over it I wore a black oversized waist length blazer accented with a gold chain link belt and my black 6’ pumps. I was just doing the finishing touches on my makeup when I heard the front door close. Oh boy, I thought. I knew he would be pissed but I didn’t care. He certainly wasn’t going to stop me especially since I had a babysitter.

He walked into the room and said, Hey, where you going?

Out with my friends, I replied.

Not those two whores, he said, raising his brows in anger.

My friends are not whores.

"What the hell are you wearing?

Excuse me? I replied.

You are not going out in that. You look sleazy, he said.

I don’t want to hear it. All you do is run the streets, I said as I walked past him going into the kitchen. I saw his best friend sitting on the sofa.

Hey Laura, he said.

I ignored him. Seth was right behind me. Greg, look at what Laura is wearing, would you let your woman go out in that?

Greg didn’t know quite how to answer as I angrily walked past him without speaking. Seth insisted he add his two cents so Greg fearfully commented as he stuttered and fidgeted with his hands, not quite able to look me in the eye, Well, that outfit is nice but its well, um, extremely sexy. Some guys might um get the wrong impression about you.

I looked at him and replied, I would stay out of this if I were you. This is none of your damn business.

Oh, I’m sorry Laura; I didn’t mean to offend you, I just...

Before he could finish his sentence, I left the room. Seth followed me back into the bedroom. So where are you going? he asked.

There was no way in hell I was going to tell him where I was going. Nothing was going to stop me from spending time with Ron tonight, so I lied and said we were meeting at The Oasis Club on the other side of town.

I’ll be there in a couple of hours, he replied.

Fine, I said and walked out the door without looking back.

My friends were already there when I arrived; amazingly, we