The Journey: From Now to Then

By Charles Moore

This book is about reincarnation and spirituality. Its about a mans struggle with recurring dreams, visions, dejavu, and unexplained strange feelings. While meditating one time he discovered that he had very vivid memories of a previous life that he once lived. with the help of a spiritualist and others he embarked on a journey that, through memories, took him back to that life numerous times in an eff ort to fi nd answers to the many questions that he had, in the hope that it would enable him to fi nd peace in this life. Th is book is fi ction, but many of the experiences detailed in it are based on fact.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jan 14, 2011
• ISBN: 9781452099026

Charles Moore

Always working on the "next" novel. I am always reading and writing and trying new ideas. Sometimes one idea lasts a little longer than the previous.

Book preview

Prelude

If you stop a stranger on the street and ask him if he believes in ‘reincarnation‘, the chances are very good that he would say no. But if he’s Christian, and you ask him if he believes in the ‘here after’ chances are just as good that he would say yes. Most western religions teach that the soul survives death and goes on to another plane of existence usually referred to as ‘the here after’, and we accept this as truth. This is evidenced by our frequent use, after someone has died, of phrases like; ’He’s gone’. Or ’He’s gone to a better place’. Or ’He’s with God now’, and so on. So we believe in life after death. Is it then, really that much of a stretch of the imagination to acknowledge at least the possibility of reincarnation?

Some religions teach that someone unique to their particular religion, though long dead, will some day return again to bring salvation to the faithful. This doctrine is also accepted as truth. Is this then, so much different from the concept of reincarnation?

Since most of us profess the belief that our souls continue on in another plane of existence after the death of our bodies, we obviously accept the notion that our body and soul are separate. We even refer to our body, not as ourselves, but rather, as a possession; My head, my hand, or my body, etc. Medical science continues to make great strides in the enhancement of our knowledge and understanding of the human body. We know for instance, that we can keep it alive by artificial means long after the mind, or consciousness have left. But we are only beginning to understand the human consciousness,

We still have much to learn about that spark, or force that we call consciousness, that makes us think and know that we exist. We know we have a conscience, but we don’t always listen to it. We have instincts that we don’t really understand, so we don’t usually trust them. But maybe our lives would be better if we did learn to trust them.

Late one night a few years ago I was driving alone through the mountains north of Knoxville, Tennessee when suddenly, the engine in my new car malfunctioned, and after a loud noise, stopped running. This happened just as I was approaching an exit so I coasted off the expressway onto a country road. I sat there, a little apprehensive because the car stopped in an area of almost total darkness and I wasn’t sure where I was because I didn’t see the exit sign before I got off the interstate.

I didn’t know what to do, so I called an emergency phone number that was built into the glass of the window on the drivers side of the car and explained my situation to the operator that answered. She put me on hold for about two minutes. When she returned she told me exactly where I was and said that she had already called the police and a tow truck to assist me. Within a half hour I was on my way back to

Knoxville, with my car in tow.

Later that night when I was safe in a motel room I began to think about what had happened. I was surprised that I had called the emergency number in the window because I didn’t have On Star, so I couldn’t have told them where I was located. I would have had no reason to expect that they could help me. It would have made more sense for me to call 911. As I thought about it then I realized that the car must have had some kind of tracking device built into it that I was not aware of. But I finally fell asleep, thankful that technology had advanced to such a level that I could get help so quickly.

I don’t know why I called the number in the window instead of 911, but it really doesn’t matter. What does matter is that it was apparently the right thing to do. Somehow, maybe on some sub-conscience level I must have either known or sensed that it was, and just followed through without thinking. I’m glad I didn’t try to rationalize about it because if I had, I probably would have called 911, and that would not have been the best thing to do.

Things like this happen to most of us, probably more times than we are aware. Sometimes, when we’re faced with a stressful situation, we take corrective measures instinctively, and everything turns out okay. But most of the time we try to rationalize what we should do and often times, when we do this, we make the wrong decision.

We live in a turbulent world where beauty is almost always tempered with ugliness, and peace is never far from some form of chaos. We are never content for very long because our daily lives are usually consumed with concerns about all kinds of issues, such as health, finances, and the well being of our families, not to mention many others that are of less importance.

Imagine, if you will, that you have just awakened from a sound sleep and you open your eyes to a world of indescribable beauty. Where all the colors are brighter, and every flower seems to be alive with a loveliness that is beyond anything you‘ve ever dreamed. Where everything you see before you is in perfect harmony with everything around you, and you are aware that you have an overwhelming feeling of peace and contentment.

What would you think? Where would you think you were? Do you believe that a place like this is even possible? Try meditating, and maybe you’ll see.

Dedicated to

My Family;

With deepest appreciation for all their support

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Epilogue

Chapter 1

David Long shifted his weight to his left side as he sat on the wooden school desk, at the same time feeling sorry for all the students who are forced to sit on this type of chair for the better part of every school day. He had forgotten how uncomfortable they could be after a while. Looking around the room he realized that it was not unlike the many school rooms that he had spent so many seemingly endless days in during his adolescence. Dull, blue gray walls with only a black chalkboard centered on the back wall to break up the monotony. Rows of wooden school desks arranged neatly in straight lines, all facing front. There was no teachers desk with books on top. No pull down maps attached to the wall above the chalkboard, and no American flag standing in the corner. Instead, there was a small rectangular wooden table slightly to the left of the chalkboard, with a pitcher of water and a single glass on a brown plastic tray. The blue gray walls were bare, with no pictures of dead presidents or other famous people, and there were no books under the desks. No noise and no sounds of quiet whispering, muffled laughter, or the scratching noises made by wooden desks that are unintentionally jarred and moved under the weight of restless young bodies. All that could be heard was the soft low voice of Martha Ellsworth, a woman who looked to be in her late thirties or early forties.

She was a rather well known spiritualist who had been scheduled by the Unity Church to give a series of nightly metaphysical lectures that week. David and his wife Lisa had been attending services at this church off and on for several months now, though they had not become formal members. It was a common occurrence for the church to sponsor programs of this nature, and it was this kind of new age thinking that had drawn them to it in the first place. Lisa had been planning to attend these lectures since it was first announced three weeks before. David had only decided to join her earlier that day.

He had never heard of Martha Ellsworth or attended this type of lecture before, so he didn’t really know what to expect. She reminded him of a pleasant, well dressed, slightly over weight house wife who wore no makeup. She could have been any woman next door. He had thought she would be more dynamic, or maybe even a little flamboyant. Instead, she seemed almost timid and spoke as if she were having a conversation with her family over dinner, as she related excerpts from some of her previous lectures.

She was engaging in small uninteresting dialogue with different members of the audience who seemed anxious to tell her about what they thought were their own metaphysical experiences. David found this to be both boring and unbelievable, and was beginning to wonder if his coming had not been a mistake. He looked down at his watch, which read 7:42 PM, and felt certain that he would not be able to take this session for another two and a half hours. Lisa reached over and squeezed his hand. Looking as if she had read his mind, she whispered;

Don’t worry honey. It will get better.

I sure hope so. He replied.

As he listened to Martha Ellsworth he began to think of when he was a young boy growing up in the south. He was thinking of what it was like living in that part of the country as a black youth during the forties and fifties, with all of the unwritten rules that a young black boy was required to abide by, even if he didn’t always understand them. Rules like; moving off the side walk to give way to any approaching white person. Or never looking a white person in the eyes, and never talking back to a white person, even if you disagreed with what they were saying. Always having to say ‘yes sir’ and ‘no sir’ or, ‘yes mam’ and ‘no mam’, and never ever looking at a white girl or woman, no matter what the circumstances were. There were many others, and he couldn’t remember ever being specifically taught any of them. But he always knew them. Maybe they were so much a part of that culture and environment that learning them was natural, like learning the language. But in spite of these handicaps, he felt that his childhood was filled with fond memories of many wonderful experiences.

Whenever he found himself thinking about this period of his life he always thought of Clarence. It would have been impossible for him to remember any part of those years without thinking of Clarence, because he had been so much a part of them. He had been David’s best friend since early childhood and they were almost always together. They lived in a small cotton town in Arkansas on the same unpaved street, two houses apart. David always looked up to Clarence, probably because Clarence was two years older than he was. He often wondered if Clarence ever realized how much he envied him, because he always seemed to be able to do the kind of things that most boys found exciting, like being good at sports, hunting, and other types of out of doors activities that David was not very good at. David always spent most of his time reading, studying and day dreaming, while Clarence and other kids were out running and playing. Clarence was a strong muscular kid but he only seemed to confident when he was singing. David could never understand that because Clarence was very street smart and really knew his way around. He was well known and liked by almost everyone. He never had any kind of regular job but always seemed to be able to find enough odd jobs to enable him to have enough money to do the things he wanted to do. Usually very shy around other people, especially strangers, and yet he was never hesitant about singing before a group of people he had never seen before.

His family were members of the local black Baptist Church but he was not a very religious person, even though he professed to believe in what his church taught. He was also very superstitious, always careful not to walk under a ladder and he would turn and go the other way if a black cat crossed in front of him. He had other superstitious beliefs that David thought were weird. Like the time the two of them were walking down the street near where they lived. It was late afternoon and they were busy talking about two sisters that they had crushes on, when Clarence stopped suddenly, saying that someone was calling him. David didn’t hear anything, but Clarence insisted that he heard someone call his name. They both looked all around and didn’t see anyone. Clarence became very frightened and said that it was death calling his name as a warning because he was coming to get him. David knew that he really believed what he was saying because he hurried home and didn’t come out of his house for over a week. When he finally did come out again he said that his mother had paid an old woman that was supposed to have some kind of special powers, to work a spell and pray for him, so death never came.

David wondered how Clarence’s whole family could believe anything like that but he knew they did, so he never brought it up anymore. He always Teasingly told Clarence that he was much more serious about his superstitions than he was about his religion. He couldn’t remember Clarence ever going to school. In those days in that part of the country, it was completely up to the parents whether to send their children to school or not. This was especially true in the black community. If the parents chose not to send them, nobody cared. Clarence was apparently one of those kids that didn’t go to school after the first or second grade, something he was very ashamed of during his teenage years.

It was because of Clarence that David became a member of a gospel singing group. The two of them had always spent a lot of time sitting around singing together when they were alone. Everyone was familiar with a black gospel group called ‘The Crusaders’. They were very well known in the whole region. When Clarence was about fifteen years old he learned that the group was in need of another voice, and asked his pastor to arrange for him to audition for the position. When it was time for him to go to the audition, he was very nervous and didn’t want to go alone, so David went with him.

The leader of the Crusaders was a tall fair skinned, soft spoken man with freckles. His name was Isaac, and he was obviously the oldest member of the group. Her could see that Clarence was very nervous, so he talked to him for a while before trying to get him to sing. Clarence wouldn’t sing alone and asked if I could sing with him. Isaac reluctantly agreed, thinking that it might help him to relax. They began to sing ‘Swing Low Sweet Chariot’ together, in slow harmony, the way they had always sang it when they were alone with no one else around. After listening to them Isaac told them to wait while he went into the other room to talked to the other members of the group. When he returned he asked them both to become members of the group.

The Crusaders consisted of five young men ranging in age from twenty four to thirty years old. David and Clarence spent the next couple of months learning the songs and the routines before they were allowed to perform on stage with the group in public. The majority of their concerts were held in churches, many of which were located in remote rural areas. David could still remember traveling to the different churches, driving down unpaved country roads in Isaac’s big brown Olds, past cotton fields with scattered black workers of various ages, all busy chopping or picking cotton. Sometimes they passed so close to them that they could see the sweat on their faces as they looked up to stare at them in awe. It must have been a rare sight indeed for them to see a group of black men traveling in what they probably thought was such a fine car. He also remembered passing black prisoners that would be working in fields with white men carrying shot guns guarding them. Both the prisoners and the guards would stare at them as they passed, probably for the same reason that the workers in the cotton fields did.

He remembered once when a number of black prisoners were working on the road they were traveling on. He could still feel the tension that was in the car as they drove very slowly through the prisoners and armed guards, some of which were on horses. The guards stared at them with such hatred and contempt that it frightened them. These were not uniformed prison guards. They appeared to be local white men that had been hired to guard the prisoners. One of them was a very mean looking man that watched them intently with his finger on the trigger of his shot gun, as if he wanted to shoot them, and was just waiting for an excuse to do so. Isaac was saying in a voice no louder than a whisper;

Don’t look at them. Look straight ahead and don’t look back after we pass. You heah me? Don’t look back.

He must have been frightened also. They all must have been frightened. But it was impossible for David not to look back. He couldn’t take his eyes off the man with the shoot gun. In spite of where he lived, he had never seen such hatred up close, and felt certain that the man was going to start shooting at any moment. He watched them until they were out of sight, wondering how the prisoners could stand being there under those circumstances. He felt a profound sadness for them. Some didn’t look to be any older than he was.

Boy, don’t you know how to act around white folks? Raymond, one of the older members of the group asked. "You gonna git us all in a whole heap o trouble. You can’t never stare at no white man like that. He’ll thank we’s up to something and we’ll wind up out there working like the rest o them niggers.

I thought they were prisoners. David said.

Ain’t no prison round heah boy. Raymond said. Them niggers is from the local jails in these towns hear bouts. Probably got caught stealing or drinking and fighting, or jes wound up in the wrong place at the wrong time and got put in jail.

What do you mean, ‘the wrong place at the wrong time’? David asked.

Boy, you shore don’t know nothing do you? Raymond answered. These days you gots to be careful where you goes, and you gots to be specially mindful who you goes there wif. You can wind up in a whole heap o trouble for no reason a tall. When a black man gits in trouble round heah he goes to jail, and when he goes to jail they puts him to work, and that’s a fact. These white folks round heah needs workers, and they don’t want to have to pay em. So the police puts the niggers in jail for little or no reason a tall so they can bring em out heah to work for free.

David knew Raymond was upset because he was frightened, but he also knew that what he was saying was true. He felt an emptiness in his gut for a long time. Later, after discussing it with Clarence, he learned that Clarence had felt the same way.

Chapter 2

Has anyone here ever had an out of body experience? Martha Ellsworth asked, as she moved slowly back and forth across the front of the room. There was no response.

Anyone? She asked again.

There was still no response. She paused and, clasping her hands together asked;

Has anyone ever dreamed that you were having an out of body experience?

Again there was no response from the audience.

I always ask these questions of my audiences and I always get the same reaction. She said, in a quiet soft voice.

This is not surprising because our culture teaches us that it is not possible to have an out of body experience, and we tend to believe what we’re taught. When something happens to us that we can’t explain, or when we think something has happened that is contrary to what we have been taught, it’s easier for us to assume that it was our imagination, or even an hallucination, and we consciously choose not to believe it. But sometimes, deep inside, we’re not so sure. Are we?

After a long pause she moved closer to the audience. Her eyes seemed to be scanning everyone in the room, as if she were looking for one particular person.

There is so much more to the universe around us than what we can see, touch and feel, if we would only open our minds and trust in our instincts. She said. Would it surprise you if I told you that there are millions of people in eastern countries that believe that out of body experiences are not only possible, but very common among all people. They believe that many of us have these experiences when we are sleeping, or day dreaming, but we don’t realize or accept it because we can’t explain it in natural terms that are consistent with our religious beliefs, and yet, here we are. Together in this room, talking about things that we have all been taught not to believe. Why?

She was speaking in a slow deliberate tone now.

Some of you have probably come here tonight only because you’re curious. She continued. And have already made up your minds to scoff at what ever I have to say, and that’s okay because I’m not here to try to convert you to my way of thinking. I’ve come here tonight only to share with you some of my experiences. It is my hope that those of you who are searching for the truth, and I believe that many of you are, will feel comfortable enough to share some of your experiences with the rest of us, and in that way, we can all learn from each other. If we can do this then maybe we will be open to learning more about who we are, and what we are, and why. It is to you, the ‘searchers’ that I will address my remarks, and if we’re lucky, some of you scoffers will leave here tonight a little less skeptical.

She was smiling now, as she went over to the table, poured a glass of water, and drank half of it.

Please understand that I don’t pretend to be an expert on this subject. She Advised. You see, I’m searching too. I have been searching for some kind of enlightenment for a very long time. Even to the point of traveling to other countries, trying always to find the truth of where I fit in the universe around me, and why I’ve always felt so strongly that there is something missing.

She put the half empty glass down on the table, and began to talk about the time she spent in India, and her many conversations with a certain holy man who had befriended her.

David was wondering which category he would fit into, the scoffers, or the searchers. He decided that he had come as a scoffer. This was surprising even to him because he considered himself to be completely open minded on the whole subject of metaphysical spirituality. He had always thought of himself as a religious person, but he also knew that he really didn’t have the slightest clue as to what his religion really was. His beliefs were not consistent with the teachings of any of the religions that he had been exposed to. He had never been able to understand why there were so many different faiths. Each one with it’s own interpretation of God, the bible and Jesus Christ. Yet, each one claiming to be the one true church. He had always felt that his concept of God and Jesus Christ was in complete conflict with all of them.

Most of David’s experiences with different religious faiths had began when he was a member of the Crusaders. Even though the many churches they sang in were of different faiths, the procedure was always the same. There would be a regular service, which would begin with the minister offering a prayer followed by some words of welcome. Next there would be singing, more prayer, and finally, the sermon, which was usually loud and very active. This was followed by what Clarence always called ‘the shake down time’, a cooling down period when the whole congregation would sing a soft slow, sometimes sad song as the collection basket was passed around, with the minister urging everyone to give generously while at the same time, appealing for new members.

After the prayer and thanks for the collection, the minister would welcome any new members who had joined that day. There would be more singing, another prayer for the new members, if any, and that would conclude the service. After a few announcements, the Crusaders would be introduced, and the concert would begin.

David always listened to the sermons, but never heard one that he felt he could believe. Bible verses were usually used as the basis for them but the passages were often misquoted or taken out of context. He always felt that the ministers would twist the meanings of the verses to make them fit the messages they were trying to deliver, which was always more or less the same.

We are all God’s children and he loves us all, but if we don’t obey his commandments (as interpreted by the minister) we will be cast into hell where we will burn for all eternity. Fear. They all preached fear, of a very fickle, jealous and egotistical God who created us, according to them, with all of our frailties and weaknesses, and continually threatened us with the most horrible punishment imaginable if we don’t follow his rules, rules that were all but impossible for us to adhere to. Even as a child, David thought this concept of God was beyond belief, and couldn’t understand how so many people could believe it. But his opinion of his church was not much better. He had never been able to believe all of it’s doctrines, and could never understand how the church could be justified in amassing such great wealth when there was so much hunger and poverty in the world. He was also never able to accept the infallibility of the pope, which is a requirement of the Catholic Church because he knew that other men had elected him to the position.

He once tried to discuss some of the questions that he had with his parish priest but was told that the teachings of the church were to be accepted and believed on faith, and should never be questioned. He was never able to comply with this so he began to read and learn about other religions. He subsequently found himself reading different texts about the origin of the bible, especially the new testament. He learned of all the books that were purged and the many other changes that were affected by the early orthodox Christian leaders in the fourth and fifth centuries. This caused him to wonder just how much of the that we read today is true.

Most of the religions that he was aware of were supposed to be based on the New Testament, or at least some part of it. But he could never find one that he could really believe in. This was the primary reason why he and Lisa were attending the Unity Church. They wanted to learn more about it.

He really was one of the searchers, he thought. But since he didn’t know anything about Martha Ellsworth, he had come tonight as a scoffer. His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of high heels clicking on the tiled floor of the hall way outside the room. As the sound grew louder he assumed that someone was coming but instead of stopping at the door the person continued on down the hall. He noticed that he had not been the only one disturbed by this noise. Several others turned in their seats as if to see who was going to enter.

That’s probably someone going to the book store. Martha said. "I was asked to let all of you know that the book store is going to be open late tonight. In fact, it’s about 8:15 now, so this would be a good time to take a break. There’s coffee and roles in the room across the hall. Please help yourselves. We’ll resume our discussion at 8:45.

Well, what do you think? Lisa asked as the made their way to the room across the hall.

About what? He answered.

About Martha Ellsworth. She said.

I haven’t quite made up my mind about her. He replied. She’s not really what I had expected but she seems to believe in what she’s talking about. I think that gives her some credibility.

Well what did you expect of her? Did you think she would be able to work miracles or something? She asked, laughingly.

No, I mean, I don’t know what I expected. He answered. I guess she’s okay. At least she’s believable. I’m just not sure yet. He answered.

What’s not to be sure about. She asked. Maybe you should talk to her, you know, tell her about some of the things that have happened to you. You’ve always said that you wished you could talk to someone who really knew about metaphysical spirituality. Maybe this is the chance you’ve been waiting for. Go over there and talk to her while she’s alone.

No, I wouldn’t know what to say to her. He replied.

Just tell her about some of the strange things that have happened to you. She advised. She said she wants to know about things like that. She might be able to explain some of it to you. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To have someone explain some of this stuff to you?

Yes, that is what I would like. He answered. I’m just not sure that she’s the one I should be talking to about it. I don’t think I know her well enough to be comfortable with her. I still don’t know if I could believe her. I’ll just wait and see how I feel about her when tonight’s session is over.

Then at least, go over there and make an appointment to see her tomorrow. She suggested. You don’t have to tell her everything. Just tell her about the thing that happened in Georgia when you were a kid, and see what she has to say about it.

We’ll see. He said. After the session maybe I’ll try to set something up for tomorrow.

Lisa was referring to an experience that he had with deja’vu when he was about fourteen years old. He and Clarence had been singing with the Crusaders for about a year when they were scheduled to perform a total of three concerts on a Saturday and Sunday in a small town in Georgia. At that time it was all but impossible for blacks to obtain lodging in hotels in small towns anywhere in the south, so, whenever they were required to stay overnight, the organizers of the concert would provide lodging for them in their homes.

The group was always split up and taken in to different homes, but David and Clarence always stayed together. As it happened, the two of them were to spend that Saturday night with a minister and his wife, and the trip to their home that afternoon marked the beginning of a strange experience for David that he had never been able to fully understand or explain. It wasn’t just a case of deja’vu, or recognizing a place that you know you had never seen before. It had lasted until they left the area the night of the following day, and the whole period was filled with detailed memories and feelings that were so strong and so real that they frightened him.

For many years Clarence was the only one that knew about it. Some time after he and Lisa were married, he told her about it also, but couldn’t bring himself to tell her everything because he didn’t think she would believe him. He thought about that weekend and was amazed that he could still remember every detail so clearly, as