Innocence Erased: Victoriously Healed by His Embrace

By Cathy Moore-Coleman and Dr. Bernadette Glover

Cissy is a typical young girl, one who loves her family, her friends, and her toys. But one day, she experienced something that no child should ever endureand it was the beginning of a nightmare for her. Against her will and beyond her ability to comprehend, Cissy found herself at the center of a growing epidemic.

The impact of her abuse left her with insecurities and low self-esteem, devaluing herself, not realizing her potential and worth. Cissy grew up with self-doubt, and as a direct result of the selfish acts of sexual predators, her choices became increasingly self-destructive. The inability to make better choices, Cissy soon found herself directly and indirectly associated with murderers, drug dealers and worse.

But the darkness of her childhood would eventually be banished by the embrace of the Only One who could change her course.

Innocence Erased is not just about Cissy, one child who was the victim of sexual abuse; it is about all children who have lived through this violence. Included are tools designed to help educate parents, guardians, and children. Even a single act against a child can redirect their course of life forever, however, there is help, hope, and healing available for survivors.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: May 26, 2011
• ISBN: 9781462008360

Cathy Moore-Coleman

Cathy Moore-Coleman survived childhood sexual abuse and is dedicated to helping children overcome similar trauma. She holds a master’s degree in organizational leadership and is associate minister at Cathedral International, Perth Amboy, New Jersey. She and her husband, former grassroots politician Jerry L. Coleman, live in Lawrence Township, New Jersey.

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Copyright © 2011 Cathy Moore-Coleman, BS, MSOL

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ISBN: 978-1-4620-0834-6 (pbk)

ISBN: 978-1-4620-0835-3 (cloth)

ISBN: 978-1-4620-0836-0 (ebk)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2011904966

Printed in the United States of America

iUniverse rev. date: 5/16/2011

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

1. In the Beginning

2. Does Family Matter?

Great-grandfather Papa

Granddaddy (Daddy)

Grandmother (Mama)

Mother

Father

3. Innocence Stolen

4. Who’s Talking

The Abuse Continues

5. Children Don’t Tell

6. Path of Shame and Pain

7. Big City - Bigger Problems

Ain’t My Baby!

8. Downward Spiral

9. Plan of Escape

Deception

10. Trapped-Fighting to Get Out

Spiraling and Beaten Down

Dreaded Consequences

11. Back Full Circle

12. His Embrace

Pregnant in the Church

Real Healing – Real Surrender

A Testimony of His † Divine Peace & Healing

Appendix

Educate Children

Teach Children/Parents What and Who to Avoid

Parent Alert/Be Aware (Francine Morrisette (2008),

Lin Burress (2008)

Chilling Interview by a Child Predator

Signs of Sexual Abuse

Books

Resources

Websites

References

Foreword

If silence is golden, why do those who keep it experience emotional bankruptcy? Cathy Moore-Coleman has given us an open view of what takes place behind closed doors in more homes than we’d like to imagine. Her personal narrative, with research findings, enables us to hear the untold experiences of violations children encounter. Innocence Erased, Victoriously Healed by His Embrace, quietly draws the reader in and asks Where were you? Were you holding your peace to keep the peace? Were you crying in a shame-filled corner? Were you a neighbor, teacher, or relative who noticed a child’s consistent heightened anxiety whenever a certain person showed up? In reality, we live on the same street. Mental oppression, sexual violations, and abuse of some kind, litter every block.

Faith in God has often been sanity’s lifeblood. Because hurt people, hurt people, both the violated and the violator are in dire need of healing, understanding, and freedom from everything that undermines God’s design for humanity. Read this book honestly, humbly, hopefully, and determine to be a guardian of innocence.

Dr. Bernadette Glover, Executive Pastor

Author, Mentor, Professor, National Preacher and Speaker

Preface

In the early 2000s, I thought about writing various accounts of my story in a book. In 1988, I finally accepted the reality that I was a victim of child sexual abuse. I became loudly consciously aware at thirty-one years old that I was a child victim. From 2008 to 2009, I worked tirelessly on my thesis, graduating in May 2009 with a Master’s Degree in Organizational Leadership, and awarded for the best thesis. It was after that accomplishment, I decided to write Innocence Erased, Victoriously Healed by His† Embrace to bring awareness of the residual effects of child sexual abuse by telling what happened in my own life. In 1988, I cried tears of healing for months and finally realized many of my choices as a teenager and young adult was a direct result of what happened to me as a child.

I have spent countless hours in the library over a two-year period, writing, editing and conducting research. Though, my wounds of abuse had healed by the time I started to write this book, every time I had to proof it, I had to relive some of those painful experiences. I found myself procrastinating, putting other things and others before completing this project. Toward completing this book, my youngest child had to have an emergency C section and delivered a two-pound baby girl who had to remain in the hospital for over a month. My husband was scheduled for surgery; all while I was reminded, I had not worked for more than two years and my unemployment compensation was depleted. These circumstances only heighten my anxiety.

I initially wrote this book in third person, using only pronouns (he, she, his, and her) throughout the book until I received an editorial review advising me to add names to the characters. I am comfortable writing in a third person narrative form. I did not want to use the names of the people involved, so I finally concluded that they were right, but I would give some of the characters fictitious names to protect their privacy. I chose the name Cissy for the main character.

This book reveals glimpses of Cissy’s life and the poor choices she made, adding to her pain and shame, as a result of childhood sexual abuse. By the time she became of age to know right from wrong, she had become a willing participate. I was always drawn back to the nauseating, heartbreaking reality that these crimes are befalling children daily, and yet the question continues to be, Who is protecting the innocence of children around the world? It should be parents, guardians, government and spiritual leaders; however, so often it is not. I also wanted to give some advice to women and let them know healing is available through a living Savior.

My heart hurts for children who have been victimized by this crime; so much so, I wanted to educate, expose and help people see the pain that is caused by violating a child in this way. Statistical research is included, along with other information to give adults tools to help children. I have spent months praying that the information shared would alert people to what is happening to children, possibly, their children. Why are there so little preventive measures in schools and government to protect children against this dreadful crime? Where are the televised advertisements and government programs against this crime? We have television commercials for everything you can think of in America, yet there are very few commercials about child sexual abuse. We see ads against smoking, ads for cancer research, and ads against domestic violence, however, alarmingly, an extremely low percentage about the 500, 000 children who are being abused sexually in this country per year. In recent months, the only televised appeal I viewed was an advertisement by The Joseph J. Peters Institute of Philadelphia, PA, specifically addressing a need and effort to stop child sexual abuse and that ad only ran a week.

Statistical research shows that one out of four females will be sexually abused before her eighteenth birthday, and one out of six males will be abused before his eighteenth birthday. This information is based on reported data. How much higher would the results be if the unreported data were somehow included? This is an epidemic that is not being addressed. This epidemic can negatively affect the social, emotional, and psyche of a person their entire lives. Cissy was affected so much so her choices, as a result, sidetracked and delayed her purpose and destiny in life. I tried to show how women living with low self-esteem may live a lifetime of poor judgment. When you love yourself and think highly of yourself, the way God intended, better choices can be made ensuring a more positive future. The question remains, Who is going to address this dreadful problem? Is it not widely addressed because unfortunately, the abuse is perpetrated by someone the child know, a friend or family member the parent or guardian loves and cares for? Is it because the family is embarrassed by the assault? Very few children are sexual abused by someone they do not know. Could it be because there are not enough facilities to accommodate the offenders? Is that why the authorities and government seem to turn a deaf ear to the cries of so many? If a spotlight was on these evil acts, would many lawmakers be exposed? Children deserve to have a childhood. A child’s innocence should be preserved as long as possible. Children are exposed to television programs with pornographic images. They are exposed to music with profanity and are expected to behave as innocent children. Many things rob children of their innocence, however, child sexual abuse is a horrible monster hiding in homes, parks, schools and society, designed to silently steal a child’s future.

Exposure to sex, violence, and perverted acts rob children; therefore, childhood innocence should be protected at all cost. Children, parents, guardians, government officials, and spiritual leaders must be educated. They must become aware of the signs of child sexual abuse. Children must be taken seriously when they tell they were a victim of sexual abuse. More must be done to prevent this terrible nightmare from happening to children.

Who are these predators? According to research conducted by Burress, L. (2008), Signs and Symptoms of Child Sexual Abuse, they are from every walk of life. They are teachers, parents, stepparents, doctors, lawyers, students, coaches, pastors, priests, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, cousins, grandparents, and neighbors. When a child is five-years-old and a young man is a teenager or young adult, the older person needs to take responsibility. Cissy could not have known teens committed these types of crime.

As we look at ABC’s Nightline, ABC’s 20/20, Dateline NBC, and the like, we see predator after predator, setup by authorities with sting operated recordings and emails, with primarily males, making dates with under aged girls and boys. It is frightening! Many of these predators know there are Internet and other types of stings in place to capture and expose them, yet it does not stop