Love Never Dies

By Charlotte Belcher

Cassy Davis tries to remember the details of the delicious, earthshaking sex in her dream, despite the irritating snoring coming from her husband asleep beside her. Successfully she blocks out the snoring and recalls from her dream the passionate kisses, the desire that shook her to the depths of her soul, and passions she feared were lost to her forever.

A chill blankets Cassy. She looks down at her nakedness and sees a tangle of clothing on the floor beside the bed. Oh, no! Cassy remembers everything ... Blue Eyes, as she called him her indiscretion No, no, no! How could I have done this?

Cassy must face the consequences of her actions. Her indiscretion touches many people's lives. In one night, with one action, she jeopardizes everything she had always said she wanted mosther home, her husband.

Be beside Cassy when she discovers betrayals. Travel with her as she searches for her truth. Discover if she finds her authenticity. Join her as she seeks happiness. Join Cassy on her life-altering journey.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Nov 15, 2011
• ISBN: 9781452542096

Charlotte Belcher

Born and raised in the Midwest, Charlotte Belcher found her passion for writing in her high school English class, through the encouragement and direction of a caring, thoughtful, and engaged teacher. After high school, she began her journey, becoming a wife and then within a few years, a mother, traveling and residing in several locations in the United States and abroad.

Book preview

Chapter 1

CASSY DAVIS STANDS before the full-length mirror holding up two dresses finding it difficult to choose one. She scolds, Quit wasting time! Try them on. You know you will not decide until you do. Time’s flying! Norman will be home soon! You do not want another one of his lectures to start an argument tonight. Not Tonight!

Cassy allows her thoughts to stray. Dang it! she bemoans, When did I become this angry person tiptoeing through the chaos I call my life. Do I intentionally provoke Norman? I know the risk but I am helpless to stop myself.

Having become skilled balancing on her emotional tightrope, Cassy adeptly switches her thoughts to tonight’s party and the upcoming holidays. Tonight’s invitation arrived the first week of November for a mid-November party. Recalling how quickly her schedule became booked last Christmas she observes that the madness starts earlier and earlier each year. Halloween’s ghost and ghouls barely leave the store shelves before turkeys, Santa Clauses, angels and elves take their place. What is fueling the rush? she questions aloud.

If only I could return to my childhood Christmas holidays, she fondly recalls, when the arrival of Thanksgiving Day seemed to take forever. The endless waiting for Thanksgiving intensified my excitement for Christmas. On Turkey Day, my family would search for the perfect Christmas tree. Then, as if by magic, Thanksgiving night decorative lights adorned the streets and homes all over town, signaling Christmas and Santa Claus were on their way. Perfect joy was all around me. Nothing in the world gave me more delight, except maybe opening presents Christmas morning. A giggle spurred on by the recollections of childish delight escapes from deep within her.

For this year more so than she can ever remember, the magic has disappeared for Cassy. The Stock Market Exchange bell has replaced her childhood marker, the school bell, which resoundingly announced the Christmas holiday season has ended. Now, instead of a child’s anticipation for a New Year and new adventures she sees everyone, including herself, disconsolately return to self-absorbed lives that fly by more rapidly each passing year. There is always a deadline to meet. Like tonight, get moving girl, she orders.

Cassy tries to get a move on, but her thoughts stay with fond Christmas memories. Despite her previous gloomy outlook, in her heart, she believes it is a blessing to be with family and friends, especially during the holidays. In the past, Cassy found the work required to get ready for the holidays invigorating and a joy, but not this year. As she is doing now, she has drug her feet on everything. Why can’t I get into it this year? What is wrong with me? she wonders. The goodwill that proficiently hibernates (unless heaven forbid a catastrophe happens) during the rest of the year always resurfaces during the holidays to bring people together to do good things. Even those few people who appear downright mean the rest of the year succumb to the holiday cheer and find a place in their hearts to do good for others. That sobering thought snaps Cassy out of her reverie, Chastity Hillandale may be the exception! She blurts out, She masterfully hides her goodwill from the world.

Unable to put off the inevitable, Cassy walks out of her closet and places a black dress on the bed. She holds a red one up against her, eyeing it, before trying it on.

The first dress is a shimmering, clingy cranberry red material created from a synthetic fiber that refuses to wrinkle no matter what. Cassy pulls the dress over her head and wiggles. The material easily falls into place. Stretches over her body fitting snugly in just the right places and flows appealingly over her curves. Her image in the mirror brings a smile to her lips. Some heads will turn, she says, but, she hesitates as she reviews her image, this is NOT the party to make this impression. I don’t want to give Chastity Hillandale any reason to start any rumor about me and that could happen if I show up in this! Her decision made, Cassy pulls off the dress unceremoniously dropping it onto the floor. Cassy likes beautiful clothes and sometimes even provocative clothes like this dress. It is fun playing dress up for parties, the little girl in her has never outgrown that but customarily she prefers her comfortable sweats to this finery.

Cassy pulls the black dress up against her and allows its softness to glide over her and fall into place over her body. The cut of this dress is perfect for her, it shows off her small waist, the V-neckline frames her ample bosom, and the contrast between her light, creamy skin and the black velvet is striking. Cassy smoothes away wrinkles as she eyes her reflection. Approving her reflection reminds Cassy that velvet makes you look elegant no matter how you feel on the inside. She announces, You look stunning and too good for this contrived social obligation. Pleased with her choice, Cassy moves over to her dressing table.

Sincerely, she avows as she ponders her reflection in the dressing table mirror, I will put the best spin on tonight’s obligation. I can and will in the face of everything enjoy myself. A cold chill runs down Cassy’s back. The chill is as cold as death itself. Shaking it off, Cassy admits, If given a choice I prefer walking across a bed of hot coals rather than socialize with Chastity Hillandale. Despite her reluctance, Cassy takes in a deep breath and is resolute to do her duty tonight.

Chapter 2

NORMAN, CASSY’S HUSBAND of ten years, walks into their bedroom. Cassy ignores his entrance preferring to pretend she is still alone. Norman glances in Cassy’s direction, but when she ignores him, he considers it prudent to say nothing to her. Regardless of their problems, Norman hoped to make it home in time to watch Cassy go through her dressing ritual, because no matter how frustrating life has become with her, watching her dress always makes him smile and sometimes laugh uncontrollably.

In the moments when Cassy is involved in something that allows the old Cassy to emerge, Norman looks past their differences and remembers why he fell in love with her. His attraction to her is inescapable. Whether, today or ten years ago, Cassy carries from her youth a wonderful playfulness that asserts itself unexpectedly. The most mundane task can inspire bubbles of enthusiasm from her. He loves that quality in her.

For example, getting dressed, for him, you choose a shirt, a pair of pants or a suit, and poof you are dressed. In stark contrast, Cassy never settles on just one outfit and two choices are a rarity. Then, each outfit comes on and off usually numerous times. For Cassy, getting dressed is not simple. For him watching her guarantees a comical performance sure to create moments that leave him roaring with laughter.

Often, as he watches her, Norman imagines her as a young girl playing dress up in her grandma’s attic. As she dresses, a wrestling match ensues between the clothing and her as she wiggles, jumps, or by sheer will, forces the cloth to fall into place. She eyes her reflection in the mirror, and commences the reverse action. Arms and legs flailing unceremoniously, she emerges from the entangled clothing tossing the outfit recklessly into the room. How many times sitting quietly off to the side of the room has he been hit by a flying dress, or a stocking that has been flicked off her foot? Luckily, she chucks off her shoes with some restraint (Thankfully, even during one of their raging arguments of late, she has shown uncharacteristic restraint when flinging her shoes off.)

He smiles as he recollects her stumbling out of the closet with slacks pulled up to her knees, hopping over to the bed. The same trick with pantyhose is even funnier and culminates in uproarious laughter from him. On several occasions filled with emotion after watching her antics he has walked over to her and held her in his arms trying to capture the moment so it cannot escape to become a mere memory. These are the memories that remind him of the Cassie he loves and wants in his life, no matter what.

Lost in his memories, Norman remains silent, and moves on. He walks into the closet, pulls out his tuxedo, but remains in the dressing room, away from Cassy’s view. This is his maneuver to assure no argument erupts between them. Given that Cassy did not attempt to speak with him, he chooses gallantry in the situation and stays clear of their bedroom for the moment, hiding is the most plausible tactic to get them through the night. Yes, they will hide from each other in their own house pretending neither exists. Yes, it is an ineffectual solution to their problems, but as a temporary objective, it has merit. He reasons it is the most sensible plan to manage the tension between them, at least for now.

Did I say tension? Man, what an understatement that is! Our house is more like a war zone; the DMZ between North and South Korea has less of a chance of hostility erupting than exits between us, he mutters under his breath and hopes she did not hear him.

Checking things out in the mirror, he gives his image the thumbs up admitting he looks pretty dang good even if he has to say so himself. Tonight, Chastity Hillandale should have no complaint about his ‘attire’.

Chastity Hillandale always gives elegant affairs and expects her guests to dress formally. She has turned guests away from her door if she construes their attire is improper and once refused entry, then, you are off her list. A risk most guests prefer to avoid. Not because they enjoy her company, quite the contrary, but rather, because Chastity Hillandale holds a grudge and has a long, unforgiving memory she uses against people when she feels insulted. Problem being, she is capable of manipulating anything into an insult if she desires. Despised by most, her affairs are a social obligation; you network, hopefully see some of your true friends and pray you get through the evening unscathed. The only guaranteed pleasure for the night is the food. The food is always superb!

Consequently, Norman plays Chastity’s game and dresses so as not to offend the almighty one. He smiles at his reflection, winks approvingly before leaving the safety of the dressing room to enter into their bedroom (or should he call it the battle zone) where he may be opening himself up for battle with his wife.

Norman pretends to pay no attention to Cassy as he walks back into their bedroom, but through furtive glances, he examines her closely and realizes she has chosen to wear her black velvet dress, his favorite. He cannot suppress his smile. Cassy is as beautiful as the day they first met and he cares deeply for her. He loves her! He would do anything in his power to make her happy, but things have been awkward between them lately. His face scrunches up into a scowl at that understatement, Awkward? he sneers at the thought. Things are BAD between us. Trouble is, he has no clue when their life together began to sour and is definitely oblivious as to why it has gone awry. He still loves her, wants her in his life, but he is unaware how to make her happy, again. His only certainty, Cassy is not happy and hasn’t been for a long time.

While driving home from the office tonight, Norman prayed to the heavens, Just this one night please let us appear happy again. He understands that after they arrive at the party, each will go their separate ways. She will talk to her friends. He will meet his friends and do the necessary networking his job requires (and he hates). If possible, Norman and Cassy will stay away from their host and therefore avoid an unpleasant incident at Chastity’s party because neither of them wants to create an incident at a Chastity Hillandale affair. Wow, maybe there is hope. He discovered one situation where they agree with each other. Realizing this encourages him, maybe Cassy can still care for him and they can find their way back to each other.

Chapter 3

WALKING INTO THE lion’s den so to speak, Norman hopes whoever heard his prayers earlier gets them through the next few critical minutes because he never knows what will set Cassy off. There are moments when they talk with each other, even share occasional moments of laughter. Then, from nowhere like a speeding car out of the darkness crashing into you, Cassy’s mood changes and they become embroiled in an argument, which leaves Norman at a loss.

Cassy remains seated in front of the mirror at her dressing table, where he had left her. She has finished her hair and make-up, and looks stunning, as she always does. Norman stifles a moan of pleasure as he relishes her image in the mirror.

She has twisted her hair up off her neck; a single, blue rhinestone clip holds it in place. He watches as she places the necklace that matches the blue rhinestone clip up to her long, slender neck. It is a beautiful necklace he found in an antique shop and bought as a gift for her while on one of his business trips. He saw it on display in the window and immediately thought of her because the blue matches perfectly the color of her eyes. The large teardrop shaped stones gently fall into the contours between her breasts. Recklessly he allows a gasp to release from deep within him as he eyes the stones nestled between her breasts.

Norman’s body temperature rises. A fine film of perspiration coats his body; his breathing changes from long deep breaths, to quick shallow repetitions. Although, unable to see his reflection in her mirror, he knows he is smiling. He cannot help himself. She is radiant and despite their problems, he is glad she is with him and doesn’t want to lose her, not because he is a masochist and enjoys this pain (far from it), but because he is no quitter. They have had several good years together filled with more good memories than the bad ones plaguing them presently. He refuses to throw the years away or cash in any of the memories. For sure, no one has ever called him a quitter!

Norman slowly walks up behind Cassy. Warily, Cassy watches him approach.

Cass, here, let me hook that for you. She allows him to take the necklace from her hand and hook it. He leans down and kisses her neck. Ignoring his show of affection, she reaches out and pulls bracelets from the jewel case. You look gorgeous, he whispers and again kisses her neck. She sees in his flushed reflection tiny beads of perspiration on his face. She closes her eyes trying to erase his image, but when she reopens them, he is still there and his eyes implore her to return his kisses, return his affectionate touches. Understanding what he wants, involuntarily, Cassy’s stomach muscles tighten and the familiar knot in her stomach begins to form at the mere idea of the two of them being intimate.

Norman’s face remains against her cheek. Down on one knee as close to her as possible, he gazes into her reflection hopeful he will see the old Cassy reach out to him and return his advances. He aches to hold the woman he married once again in his arms; she once loved him unconditionally. What has happened? Where does the old Cassy hide in this stranger beside him? Norman must find her, needs to have her reach out to him right here and now, but his wishes go unfulfilled, because blank lifeless eyes stare back at him from the mirror. He sees no joy or life in the haunted eyes of his wife’s reflection.

Cassy, remains silent; she dare not say a word. Norman releases his hold on her and flees from those lifeless eyes. Her blank stare has managed to squelch the beginnings of arousal her image had ignited. Irritation and resentment overtakes his sexual feelings. Equally, upset by the silent treatment (which he despises) and the arguing (which he finds intolerable) Norman is stupefied. How does he move beyond any of it? He’s in a classic "Catch 22" quandary: if they talk they argue and when they argue they stop talking. Where will this lead them?

For Cassy, her silence is a defense mechanism because fear overwhelms her any time she has to speak to him. To contain her fear, she is silent as much as possible in the effort to keep their words from escalating into a new argument. Her goal is not to hurt him or make him angry, but rather, stop the arguing from happening.

Cassy picks up a bracelet to deflect attention away from the two of them and back to getting ready for the party. She fiddles with the bracelet hoping this quiet time will allow the tension in the room to diffuse. Messing with the bracelet provides a task not requiring her to look at him or talk to him.

After several attempts, though, Cassy realizes the futility of the exercise because she is unable to hook the clasp without his help. The mere thought of asking him for help sends her into a panic. Her heart sinks; Norman is already irritated with her; angry she had not responded to him earlier. What will happen after she speaks the first word to him?

God help me, she silently prays. Well, here goes; she’ll ask for help with her bracelet and hope the words remain pleasant between them.

Could you hook this for me? She forces her voice to remain steady and bland; and prepares herself to show no sign of emotion, especially anything that could set off fireworks between them. Cassy assumes Norman doesn’t believe her when she says she doesn’t want to argue with him, but she really doesn’t, especially tonight. Please. She adds as an afterthought. They do try to remain civil, even though most of their conversations disintegrate into arguments no matter how polite they attempt to keep the words between them.

Cassy rises from the dressing table and walks over to Norman. He turns to face her; she reaches out her arm and he fastens the clasp, but before Cassy can step away, he pulls her close to him and kisses her. She tries not to react, tries not to pull away, but it is too late. Her body tenses and he feels her immediately wrench away from his touch.

What’s wrong with you, Cassy? Norman’s voice elevates slightly, but he does not yell. His voice shows his frustration with their situation, not anger at her. What does he have to do to get her to be close to him again? She does not attempt to reply to his question. Realizing she is going to say nothing, his voice grows louder but still, from frustration, not anger. Cass, what’s wrong? he implores.

She walks away making sure her back faces him and he cannot see her reflection in the mirror of her dressing table, so he cannot read, anything into these simple words, Nothing’s wrong. Her voice is soft. In her heart, she fears it doesn’t matter what she says or how she says it because predictably it is happening to them again. Yet, another argument they are powerless to prevent.

Cassy regards herself as a realist, not a fatalist, but worries Norman and she have allowed their marriage to journey down a road that inevitably ends their marriage and she feels powerless to halt their chosen course. Why, she whispers to herself, "Why couldn’t you remain silent. You know talking doesn’t fix anything. Why didn’t you keep your mouth shut? Norman, please, be sensible; walk away from this. Don’t start anything." Cassy expected no answer to her earlier prayers and she is right, the inevitable fight commences.

Norman’s face goes pale. Don’t give me that bullshit again. Cassy cringes; Norman rarely curses, even when he is mad as hell at her. Cass, what we have right now is not normal. I don’t, he stops. How should he finish the sentence? He is at a loss! What are the appropriate words to say to her?

Nothing’s wrong, Cassy insists, but that only spurs Norman on making him more determined to derive an answer from her. He tries a new approach. He can be charming. He takes a deep breath to regain composure and ascertain the perfect words to entice a response from her.

Cassy, you look beautiful tonight. I was just trying to show you how appreciative I am. Like Cassy, he chooses his words carefully and purposely maintains a low, unthreatening tone of voice. He approaches her cautiously because, standing there, she reminds him of a scared animal poised to attack or bolt away at the slightest provocation. Worried she will again pull away from him he does not reach out to take her in his arms or attempt to kiss her. He cannot disguise the hope he holds in his heart that their problems can end if they only talk. The glint in his eyes represents that hope; does she recognize it? He cannot hide it from her.

Confident she will not flee from him, he relaxes slightly. Cassy stands before him as hard and cold as a statue and offers no encouragement in any way. To help bolster his courage to continue, he allows a slight smile to cross his lips, a gesture he intends to help her feel safe and fortify her with the strength to finally speak up and tell him what is wrong. He needs answers, but he is willing to work it through with her slowly, not trap her into a corner. He is trying to be supportive, why can’t she see that?

Appreciative? What, she wonders has she done in these last few moments to foster his appreciation. They have started to argue, for heaven’s sake, and he surely doesn’t appreciate that fact any more than she does. His words irritate her and everything about their life right now is unbearable, how can she express that sentiment to him? Mindful she is short-tempered, Cassy tries not to lash out at him or hurt his feelings. Please, please back off is what she wants to say to him. He is saying something to her again. Shaking off her own thoughts, she tries to listen to him.

Yeah, the kiss, Norman continues, but she doesn’t understand the point he is trying to make because she didn’t kiss him; he kissed her, and she did not reciprocate. I appreciate how beautiful you look tonight. He gives it his best to help her open up to him, but quickly sees any conversation between them is destined for failure. Hope against hope he trudges on determined to see it through to the end which he recognizes is eminent because her eyes, usually light blue are darkening, a definite sign she is about to ignite into an explosion of anger.

And, just what is that supposed to mean? She sits down on the side of the bed trying on shoes. She refuses to look at him. She cannot! She wants to throw one of the shoes held in her hand at him. Why do these words irritate her? She doesn’t know why, but they do. Most women would be glad to have their husbands tell them they are beautiful. Why, for her, do those words conjure up resentment and anger?

I didn’t mean anything by it, Norman tries to explain and regain control of the situation. Her anger is escalating, but what has he said that is so bad? He said she is beautiful for heaven’s sake, where did he go wrong telling her that.

You didn’t mean anything! Then, why say anything? Why kiss me? Cassy challenges. Her voice elevates slightly. Norman reproaches himself for starting this; after all, here he is again trying to have a rational discussion with his presently irrational wife.

To Cassy’s mind, he’s being the same control freak he always is. Norman always defines everything and if he can’t; he must be the one in control. Cassy feels the anger growing within her and knows it is too late; the words between them will only grow more hostile and louder.

Cass, didn’t you dress nice tonight for me? He means it as a compliment. Really!

For you? Cassy cannot mask her incredulity. Norman’s expression implies, ‘Well, didn’t you?’ The insinuation she dressed for him, not herself, infuriates her. She tightly squeezes the shoe in her hand, willing herself not to throw it at his head.

So it wasn’t for my benefit? The words sound petty and his voice petulant, even to his own ears. Why had he said that? His inner voice tells him to shut up and drop it! Walking away is the smart thing to do, but he can’t! Tonight he is willing to fight for answers to his questions.

I’m ready to leave. She picks up her purse and leaves their bedroom.

We’re not leaving until we finish this discussion. Determined, Norman vows to make her talk with him and force an explanation from her. He must understand what is going on between them. They must start talking; it is the only way to fix whatever is wrong. They cannot keep walking away from it.