More Love, Less Stress

By Davison Kanokanga

Whether you are single,newly married or you have been married for decades,you will find the lessons ,principles and wisdom contained in this book relevant and irresistible.This is a practical,informative,educative and relationship enriching book which will transform you from being selfish to being selfless,from being insensitive to being sensitive and from being a Stressor to being a Lover.After embracing and appropriating the principles in this book,your tears of pain will give way to tears of joy.Struggling relationships will struggle no more.Boring relationships will become exciting whilst dying relationships will be revived.This indeed,is a transformative book.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Apr 9, 2010
• ISBN: 9781467005326

Davison Kanokanga

Davison Kanokanga is a senior lawyer who practices law in Harare, Zimbabwe. He is the author of several books on love, marriage and relationships. He is also a radio and television personality, a marriage counselor, a preacher and a conference speaker. Davison and his wife Gwendoline are the founders of The Marriage Centre which offers pre-marriage and marriage counseling services as well as the senior pastors of Impact Christian Centre, a bible based church in Zimbabwe.

Book preview

More Love

Less Stress

DAVISON KANOKANGA

AuthorHouse™

UK Ltd. 500 Avebury Boulevard

Central Milton Keynes, MK9 2BE

www.authorhouse.co.uk

Phone: [phone]

©2010 Davison Kanokanga. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 4/5/2010

ISBN: 978-1-4490-7393-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4670-0532-6 (eBook)

Design and Layout: HansMak Designs P/L

Contents

Foreword

Love

1 Love

Dangerous Love

2 Dangerous Love

Pulling Together

3 Pulling Together

Faithfulness

4 Faithfulness What Is It?

Agreement

5 Agreement

Conflict Resolution

6 Conflict Resolution

FOREWORD

The blending of two individuals into one harmonious marriage is a process that takes time.

God said that it was not good for man to be alone. He also said marriage would bring two people together and cause them to become one flesh. The glue that holds this marriage and cause the two to become one flesh is LOVE. Reaching the goal of becoming one with each other is a commitment that requires total dedication from both husband and wife. This can not be achieved overnight. You can never have a baby in one month by impregnating nine women in a day. In other words we should never try to cut corners in life.

Marriage is not man’ s idea. It is God who created marriage. Therefore marriage should be held in honour, it is precious and is to be esteemed worthy. A good marriage is a tremendous blessing, but a bad one is an incredible curse. There is nothing worse than living for the rest of your life with somebody whom you hate, despise and resent. This can be a source of stress, anger and bitterness in life.

A successful marriage can only come about as a result of following God’s way-the author of marriage. Love is one of the key ingredients required to bake a great and tasty marriage. This love is not just the ordinary love that is cheap. True love emanates from the Source of true love who is God Himself. True love can not be felt or expressed without Christ present in the heart that both gives and receives the love. The bible says the love of God has been poured by the Holy Spirit whom we have been given. Thislove is unconditional love. The love that led Christ to come and die for us sinners so we could be saved. Christ loved the church unconditionally.

Joyce Meyer says that when a man loves his wife as Christ loved the church, and the wife submits to her husband and respects him, both doing their part, a glorious relationship will result. Many marriages end in divorce today mainly because people are reluctant and lazy to go through what it takes to make marriage good. Marriage is not for lazy people.

It does not matter how tattered your marriage could be. You may have written off your marriage and believed that it is beyond repair. When the Lord says to Paul, My grace is sufficient for thee… He is simply stating that His power is not intimidated by your situation. There is nothing too difficult for Him. All power has been given to Him in heaven and on earth.

It is not by mere coincidence that you have picked up this book. This book has the Answers to most of the challenges that you may have been facing in your marriage. The recipe that the author uses is based on the best book ever seen on this planet-the word of God. I have had the privilege of drinking from Davison Kanokanga’s cup and I can testify that indeed God has anointed and chosen him to serve in the marriage ministry. It is true that many are called but few are chosen. He is one of the few chosen ones in this marriage ministry.

I have listened to different speakers and read different books about marriage. Davison’s work is outstanding,especially this book which I believe will certainly transform your marriage into a glorious one. This book also provides nourishment of love for your partner. You will learn how to love unconditionally and to be the best partner for your spouse. There is no need to endure one another in marriage. Marriage is supposed to be fun. You will never know what you have never known unless you make an effort to know what you have never known. Therefore get this book. This book is full of wisdom which will help you navigate the challenging paths of marriage.

Enjoy your fun ride as you go through this wonderful piece of work.

Happy reading!

Doug Mamvura 24 July 2009.

LOVE

CHAPTER 1

LOVE

The Apostle Paul had this to say about love;

"If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and I have faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing!

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres"1

Inspite of your skills, talents, faith and generosity, without love you are nothing. Of what use is a rich man to his wife if he does not love her? Of what use is a beautiful woman to her husband if she does not love him? Of what use is an anointed man of God to his family, if he does not love his wife and children? Without love you are nothing. Infact, you are dangerous. You are dangerous to yourself and to others.

Unless you have love, you will abuse yourself and or your spouse. Without love, you will cheat on your spouse. Without love, you will be rough and cruel to others, including your spouse. Without love you will manipulate and control your spouse. You will be rude, uncaring, selfish and insensitive. Instead of being a blessing, you will be a burden. Instead of being a pleasure, you will be a pain. People without love are serious stressors. Such people are not good candidates for marriage. In fact, marrying such people is suicidal! This is because it is an established fact that;

a marriage without love is a slave to fear and division2

Such a marriage is stressful. It will deplete you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially and physically. I know people in such marriages who are having sleepless nights. Others have since developed ulcers, high blood pressure or chronic headaches. These people are being killed slowly and softly by their loveless spouses. Believe you me, there is murder that is taking place in some matrimonial homes. Most of it is unusual in that it is bloodless. What also makes these murders unusual is that unlike murders where there is a funeral for the victim and the corpse is buried, there is neither a funeral nor a burial following some of the bloodless murders that take place in some homes. The corpses continue to eat, talk and walk. They continue to live amongst the living. Though they are alive, they are lifeless and purposeless. They have lost their dignity. Their self-esteem and self-image have been severely battered. In a sense, these people have become the living dead. Life to them has lost meaning. No wonder some of them are suicidal. This is what a dysfunctional relationship can do.

As Bishop T D Jakes puts it;

The impact of a dysfunctional relationship shatters the window through which we look out into the world3

If in your marriage there is more stress than love then you are in a dysfunctional relationship. If because of your spouse you do