Parenting the Body, Mind, and Spirit

By Pat Corbett

This book focuses on parenting the three elements of the human: the body, the mind, and the spirit.

Traditional parenting skills have been abandoned or conveniently forgotten. Social pressures have detoured many self-respecting parents down a one-way street of irresponsibility. Within these pages are tried and true child-rearing principles that have sustained mankind for centuries and many generations. There is an old saying that if it ain't broke, dont fix it. Modern social architects have attempted to do that for several generations, and the mass media has fallen in lock-step with their ideas.

Why do we have children suing parents? Why do we have school administrations punishing the victims in school mishaps and giving less punishment to the perpetrator? Why do we have school administrators and teachers afraid to punish a student for fear of a lawsuit? Why do we have television productions in both cartoon and real life formats that show children disrespecting their parents as a norm in everyday life? I want you to engage your God-given talents with regard to raising children. It is through strong family units that we can return our society to a respectable community. It is through good parenting and taking responsibility for the children we give birth to that there can be a civil society.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 28, 2011
• ISBN: 9781449715786

Pat Corbett

Pat Corbett and his wife, Linda, have been married for twenty-three years; He is the father of three children and a practicing architectural engineer specializing in mechanical and electrical systems for buildings. He and his family are active members of the Episcopal Church in Buda, Texas.

Book preview

Contents

Acknowledgements

Introduction

Chapter 1

The Greatest Decision You Will Ever Make

Chapter 2

A New life

Chapter 3

Age 1-5, The Most Important Years

Chapter 4

Keeping a Reign on the Horse

Chapter 5

Keeping Between the White Lines

Chapter 6

Sports and Music- A Metaphor For Life

Chapter 7

Growing the Spirit

Chapter 8

The Care and Feeding of your Child

Chapter 9

The Pay Off

Acknowledgements

Proper acknowledgment must begin by honoring my mother and father who raised me with strict discipline embraced by a loving approach. They let me work to earn the money for the things I wanted, including the financing of a month long high school senior trip to Europe under the guidance of the high school Civics teacher. To them I owe my self-reliance and independent nature.

The book could not have been written without the love and support of my wife, Linda. Although we came from different backgrounds, we saw eye-to-eye on child rearing from the beginning. And, by practicing the principles examined in this book, our three children are becoming pretty good citizens. Linda has played the traditional mother role, and I, the father. To Linda, I owe my appreciation for the female gender as she has demonstrated true motherhood for our children.

And, of course, where would this book be without the counsel and guidance of my clergy editors, Dr. John E. Cannell, Ph.D., and Rev. Paul Worley, Retired. These men not only kept me directed down the right spiritual path, but also encouraged me to complete the book. Dr. Cannell wrote to me after he had completed his review and stated, This must be something that God has placed on your heart, or we would not have the unlikely scenario of an engineer writing about social practice and policy. Father Paul offered a more detailed pragmatic approach by injecting his wisdom, allowing me to expand subject matter to a more meaningful read. By sharing his life experiences with me, I too have grown and believe I can be a better parent. Also, my thanks to the Rt. Rev. Bishop Reed who supported this quest with direction, recommendation, and encouragement.

To Susie Ruckle, my neighbor and professional graphic artist, I extend my appreciation for understanding the image I wanted to project on the cover. She captured my words and presented them in a graphic design that emulates the purpose of the book. My college daughter presented the cover image to some of her classmates, who responded favorably to it. One said to her, this cover tells the story by itself. That is exactly what I wanted and I owe it all to Susie.

Gina Risher, high school English teacher, read and edited the final manuscript. She and I sat down on several occasions during the effort, and she presented her thoughts to me as a single mom. During this process, I met her high school son which she can be proud of. Her effort I especially appreciate because she is doing it alone, and doing it well. She was candid and honest which is all an author can ask for.

Introduction

As I made the decision to write this book, I asked myself the simple question, Why do I think I am qualified to write a book on raising children? I have no formal training in child development. I have no degree in psychology or other child development type education. But I do have three kids and I do observe other parents and their kids. Then I asked myself why should I write this book? I look at the degradation of our social values, the delinquent and sometimes lethal behavior of our youth, and decided much of it was rooted in poor parenting. It appears to me that there is a self-centered attitude that increases with each generation. As parents, we must put the children first, and not our own selfish desires in order to raise the children in a balance between body, mind, and spirit.

I am a child of the post war era (WWII) and was raised in the 50’s, an era everyone my age and older looks back with fond admiration and says, Those were the good ole days. The popular television show that ran from 1952 to 1966, The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet, exemplified the life style standard of that time. Today, it seems that the sitcom The (Ozzy) Osbournes from 2002 to 2005 portrays the accepted modern standard. For anyone who has a computer and is so inclined to Google the titles listed, episodes of both programs can be played for your review. If you did not ever see an episode of The Osbournes in real time, be warned that the uncensored tapes are full of strong expletives in just about every sentence uttered. It is this seeming digression in family interaction that disturbs me and prods me to write my opinions and experiences here.

There are plenty of examples of children from bad family environments turning out to be good citizens, raising a strong family, and contributing to society. These are fortunate for all of us. If you reflect on your upbringing and believe your parents were not the parents they should have been, then you are blessed with a vision and reflection that can only make a stronger person out of you. I hope my reflections and recommendations will instill confidence in you and help nurture your journey.

Back in the fifties, Dr. Spock turned the world on its ear with his liberal and revolutionary ideas. According to his views, parents were doing it all wrong. And we better adopt the new way or else our kids would become failed delinquents and subject to a life of doom.

In the mean time, anybody with a degree in psychology, and a knack for writing, jumped on the band wagon. They had the magic formula for how to raise your child, and in some cases this formula actually threw the baby out with the bath water. It seems that everything we were inbred with to foster our offspring was old fashioned with these new wave kids we were giving birth to.

Society has also sterilized and sanitized the world we bring our children into. I am referring to the way we have child-proofed our homes and created an almost over-safe environment to live in. To coin a phrase, we are doing everything possible to protect us from ourselves. When I grew up there were no blade guards on table saws, and I still have all my fingers. There were no seat belts in cars until the mid-60’s and I am still alive, and there were no child-proof caps and I was never poisoned. So how did I survive living in such a terrible and hazardous environment? The answer is relatively simple.

Parental and teacher discipline was the answer. It all fell on good teaching and good discipline. We still climbed trees, fell out, broke arms, got a cast on and everyone we knew signed it. I distinctly remember my 8th grade wood shop class in junior high. We all worked with small power tools including some larger equipment such as power lathes, band saws and disc sanders. Any of these tools could render the user one less finger at the end of the day. There was this large planer driven by an attention-getting motor with an open leather belt. Of course that piece of equipment would not be allowed even in the adult workplace by today’s safety standards, but it was in our shop and the instructor would lift our butt off the floor with his spruce paddle if we got anywhere near it when it was running. In retrospect, I am surprised we have our hearing today considering the noise level of that one piece of equipment. It literally made your teeth rattle when the instructor ran a piece of oak or walnut through it. Safety regulations and some common sense have improved the childhood and adult environment, but I wonder if the pendulum has swung too far in the minds of some folks in substituting safety caps and lawsuits for their lack of discipline and common sense. I have observed parents to go ballistic when little Johnny gets a splinter climbing the play-scape. But then little Johnny is also as wild as a March hare, intruding on everyone’s personal space, and Mom is completely or seemingly mindless of the child’s bad behavior.

Now, fifty years later, I reflect on those good old days and see how the 50’s social values of the times impacted my parents and my upbringing. Today is a much more complex time. The Internet and mass media have direct influence on everyone. The deterioration of our social values is all part of the environment that impacts us as parents in our daily work to raise a child. The good news, in my humble opinion, is that we as parents are already equipped to do the job regardless of the environment we live in. The tools are given to us at birth because we have evolved from a long line of parents growing up in a similar radical and evolving era for that particular period of time. If you read history, you will find the lament of parents from all millennia grieving over the raucous nature of society and the ill effects it has on the children.

My whole purpose here is not to lament on society or offer pearls of wisdom that will cure the social cancers that prevail today. I cannot suggest to you a secret formula that will guarantee a perfect outcome for your child’s upbringing. What I offer here is support for what you already know, your inbred skills and knowledge, and give you a few other options to consider. The human body is composed of three major elements; the body, mind, and spirit. As Americans, we are, in general, a faith based society. Therefore, this is a book that discusses the development and balance of the body, mind, and spirit in our offspring. Some might even call it a faith-based book.

Living is a dynamic process. Every day offers diversions to our daily plan. In fact, there is no way we can begin a day with a plan, and execute it flawlessly. Somewhere, at sometime, and when you least expect it, something or someone will distract you, if only for a moment. So with this in mind, we have to ask how anyone can give us the ANSWER to life’s questions, or be so bold as to give us the mathematical solution to raising a child. I know I am not that smart, and hopefully not that gullible or egotistical.

The key to doing any job well is to prepare yourself to do that job. This means training, equipping yourself with the tools, and taking on the chore with a proper attitude. All too often in today’s society, children are created in an instant of wild and heated passion to be simply discarded as just an unfortunate outcome of that behavior. We legally call that abortion. Or, if given the right to live, they may be allowed to exist and be ignored, only to learn from the ills of society. The result can be drug and alcohol abuse, aggression against mankind, and overcrowding of our prisons. The talking heads of the mass media examine this trend of tragedies involving children from time to time, and with wringing hands, attempt to find some rationale for their behavior. You see, one drop of ink or dye in a vessel of clear water will cloud the entire content. I submit to you that a large majority of the social problems today can be traced directly back to parental involvement or a lack thereof. Therefore, this book offers to you the alternative to abortion and ignoring your off-spring. It offers for consideration a means to embrace the notion of child rearing with responsibility and commitment.

Good parenting acknowledges the responsibility for the welfare of the child by demonstrating the courage to direct and redirect that child until they become an adult. A good parent can say NO and mean it. The child will know that NO means NO with no other bargaining or compromising.

This book also focuses on balancing the child’s body, mind, and spiritual development. God created a world where nature is supposed to be in balance. When forces cause nature to be out of balance, bad things can occur. For instance, if barometric pressures and wind temperatures with large differences collide, hurricanes and tornados may result. If the body, mind, and spirit of a child are out of balance, there is the same potential for bad things to occur. It is up to us, the parents, to assure we do everything possible to bring balance to the mental, physical, and spiritual development of our children and pray that God will see us through.

This book would take literally thousands of pages in order to address every situation arising in a married relationship and many more pages to address less desirable situations such as the single parent condition. The goals promoted in these chapters will hopefully give the reader some food for thought. We also hope to identify the great responsibility of child rearing.

So, if you think that you might embrace the notion of me figuratively putting my arm around your shoulder, and telling you that as we walk through life as parents, we are in this thing together, then you will enjoy the contents of this book. Initially, our kids start out on the same playing field, excluding any physical or mental abnormalities.

If you believe in a supreme being and take responsibility for your actions and your life, then this book might support you in the chore ahead. You will grow as a parent just as your child will grow. You will develop in body, mind, and spirit just as your child grows in body, mind, and spirit. God will see you through.

Chapter 1

The Greatest Decision You Will Ever Make

Many people make the conscious decision to have a child after a few years of marriage while others have them either by accident or unintentionally. This book primarily follows the couples that make a conscious decision to have children. However, we do not want to leave out our good brothers and sisters who find themselves expecting and it was not necessarily in the plans for the moment. That condition is a reality for many of us. My wife and I planned our first child. Number two and three were not planned, but happened none-the-less. This book also presumes the reader is married, is about to be married, or is in a relationship that is leading to marriage. Perhaps you are now dating someone that you believe to be your soul mate and even now have a desire to have a child with that person. Regardless of where you are in your relationship, this book presumes childbirth between couples that are married. And, we define marriage as the union between a man and a woman from which procreation of the