Is It Me or Is It You: Observations, Opinions & Advice on Life, Love and Relationships

By Wendell Walker

The relationships picture in America is not pretty. People dont cry out loud about it the way they did a few decades ago. But, if asked, almost anyone can cite the going divorce rate. Young, old, male, female agree generally that a healthy, long-term relationship is as...hard to find as good help these days.

Why is this so? Do things have to be this way? Is this situation beyond cure or correction; is the remedy too complex, too costly?

Is it Me Or Is It You tackles all of these questions in a way that can best be described as an act of bravery. It plays the blame game without hesitation and points fingers without pity. And, as the title implies, it challenges the accused, abused, and aggrieved alike to consider whether a behavior or attitude change is warranted.

Fast-paced and easy-to-read, the volume is part observations, analysis, and advice. Some of each element appears in all six chapters to clarify, instruct, amuse, and -admittedly at times- to serve as a red flag in the face of the already agitated. Always, the authors aim- to keep hope alive or create it where needed - is stated or hinted.

Because of its no-holds-barred tone, Is It Me Or Is It You readily gives rise to two questions about the author: What do you know and why do you care? The authors views and advice are drawn from personal experience- some dire and tragic-- as a husband and family man- and from a wide-range of interactions as a businessman called upon to serve as s role model and Christian confidant to hundreds of the young and not-so-young over the years.

His knowledge about relationships began with the hardnosed rules of a rigid step-mother; it includes the experience of a marriage that ended in the untimely death of his first wife shortly after the birth of their first child and subsequent marriage that remains the delight of his life after more than 21 years. He is 68, the father of 4 and the author of a precious book, The Real Deal About Real Estate: No Crap (AuthorHouse, 2007).

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Nov 17, 2012
• ISBN: 9781477281567

Wendell Walker

My name is Wendell Walker. I was born in Roanoke, VA on June 13, 1944. I come from a family of 17 children-10 boys and 7 girls. I am the 11th child. My father worked at a construction site and my mother did house work. I went to Vinton Elementary School in Vinton, VA from the first to the seventh grade; the years were 1950-1958. The school had four rooms and an auditorium. The rooms had potbelly coal stoves. Vinton is four or five miles from Roanoke and the nearest school in the county for blacks in that time. VA blacks from 10 to 15 counties attended this one school. At Carver, I played drums in the band for four years and graduated with an academic diploma in a class of 32. The class has started out in the 8th grade with 85 students. I served in the U.S Armed Services from 1962 to 1966. I served as a clerk in the Medical Corps and in finance. I went to Vietnam and was assigned as a clerk in intelligence, mail service, drafting and aviation. After my military service, I lived in Tacoma, WA for eight months. I left Tacoma, bound for Baltimore, with $2.00 in my pocket. I worked construction for four to five months then found work at the Pepsi Cola Company. For recreation, I would go down to the clubs to watch the musicians play. I went especially to the clubs on Pennsylvania Ave – The Millionaire Club, The Casino, Moon Glow, Buck’s Bar, and Club Leland. This is how I learned to play the piano and the organ. I learned enough to play with a few bands. Some musicians I watched were Johnny Polite, Fuzzy Kane, Charles Blair, Lloyd and Claude Granet, Avin Hamilton, Al McKenny and George Jackson. Eventually, I formed my own band. I earned enough to pay my rent. I went into business in 1967. I set out to form a partnership, a two-man house painting business. The other guy backed out so I named my company Walker’s Home Improvement Company. I worked out of my house. I obtained my home improvement license in 1968. I am still in business today and loving every minute of it. To expand my business interest, I began to buy real estate in 1970, again in 1972 and during 1983-2003. During 40 years as an entrepreneur, I found personal satisfaction and financial success. Being in the home improvement business made it easy for me to get ahead in the real estate renovating business. I have reached the goal I set for myself. It was to own 20 properties; Now it is harvest time. I also own and operate a health spa and dance school (hand dancing). I use my interest and skill in the martial arts to give back to the community. The secret to success-personal and business-is to surround yourself always with positive people. Their attitude will rub off on you. If you are always around negative friends and family members, most likely, you too will be negative. Studies show that positive people seem to be more successful in their lives.

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© 2012 by Wendell Walker. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse   11/08/2012

ISBN: 978-1-4772-8155-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-8154-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4772-8156-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2012919491

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Introduction

Chapter One Get Ready Get Set Go

I Want to Be Close to You

Closer to Home

Chapter Two Under the influence Of eden

Chapter Three Who You Looking At…

Chapter Four Show Me Some Love…

Chapter Five Don’t Go Changing, Not For Nothing…

Chapter Six Conclusion

What Now?

More About The Author

DEDICATION

This book is dedicated to my daughters:

Antionette

Dale

Marquita

and

Laverne

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First, I want to thank my friend and editor-for-life, Dr. E. Lee Lassiter, who helped put this book together. He has been a true friend from the time we met. My sincere gratitude goes out to him.

I also want to express my deep appreciation to another longtime friend, Mrs. Gail Lucas Tilman, who typed some of the chapters.

Special thanks to Geanna Franqui for helping me with my emails.

Finally, I want to acknowledge the assistance of Mrs. Elenora Morton who typed several chapters.

FOREWORD

Some things work. Some things don’t. Some things help you. Other things hurt you. But, in all things, be positive. Together, the three thoughts sum up the author’s view of what it takes to make it—in life in general and, especially, in personal relationships.

How did he come by this wisdom? First, he credits a stern foster mother. From her he learned about rules and consequences. Second, as he grew up with 16 siblings in her . . . house of many beatings… , he became a keen observer of how differently people deal with their circumstances.

Observing and learning became a way of life as he played soldier in the U.S. and Vietnam, survived a marriage that ended early and tragically, and pursued a bumpy-road dream of becoming a successful businessman—beginning with $2.

Through it all, he learned to value self-appreciation and self-reliance, honesty and hard work, respect for other people and the importance of love and laughter, patience, understanding, and a willingness to help others.

Is It Me Or Is It You deals with the ticklish topic of relationships. It catalogues a wide-range of the author’s observations, opinions, and advice on the subject. Occasionally, the views venture into the realms of life and love in general.

While he does not portray himself as an expert, he paints a clear picture of what he has seen or lived—the good, the bad, and the ugly—and speaks as an authority on what he believes it all means.

Sometimes—to borrow one of the author’s favorite words—the advice is harsh and hard hitting. But, most often, the bed of wit and humor on which it is served makes it digestible. For example, he says, some men are so selfish, maybe they should have married themselves.

That is not Dr. Phil. It is Wendell Walker as you will get know him in Is It Me Or Is It You: One man—driven by a deep concern for the sad state of relationships in the world today—daring to become a voice crying in the wilderness, whatever the consequences.

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Bear in mind that Is It Me Or Is It You is a two-way conversation. You get to have your say after you have finished the book.

—The Author

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INTRODUCTION

I am not writing this book for myself. It is intended to help those people who are forever complaining about the flaws, faults, and failings of their relationships.

I sincerely hope my views prove to be a benefit to people in that group who see their own faults and want to make amends, to make things right.

I want you to see the real you in what you are doing and the part you may be playing—without realizing it—in how your relationships turn out.

Many relationships fail because a third party is let into the picture: not a person but such outside influences as opinions and hearsay. I am saying: Think about your life as if no one existed but the two of you.

How would you treat your mate, your friend, your companion—then? How would you like to be treated?

Finally, maybe what I have to say will help you relate to your children and to