The Hopeless Hopes

By Stephen Johnson

Is a story of bravery, family love, the love for nature and the determination to succeed despite the obstacles in life. It is a moving story which ends in shattered dreams and hopes. The main character is Robert. A fearless man who was determined to change his family for better.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Jul 26, 2011
• ISBN: 9781456784430

Stephen Johnson

Stephen Johnson has taken part in several hundred radio programmes and documentaries, including Radio 3's weekly Discovering Music series. He is also presented on the Classic Arts Podcast series Archive Classics. He has contributed as guest interviewee on BBC 4 coverage of The Proms, ITV's The Southbank Show and more recently, on BBC1's The One Show. Stephen Johnson is the author of several books, including The Eight: Mahler and the World in 1910 (Faber) and How Shostakovich Changed My Mind (NHE).

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© 2011 by STEPHEN JOHNSON. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

First published by AuthorHouse 06/13/2011

ISBN: 978-1-4567-8442-3(sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4567-8443-0 (ebk)

Printed in the United States of America

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

Chapter four

Chapter five

Chapter six

Chapter seven

Chapter eight

Chapter nine

Chapter ten

Chapter eleven

Chapter twelve

Chapter thirteen

Chapter fourteen

Chapter fiveteen

Chapter sixteen

Chapter seventeen

Chapter eighteen

Chapter nineteen

Chapter twenty

Chapter twenty one

Chapter twenty two

Chapter one

The sun didn’t rise yet, but the village of Okalongo was already filled with the noise of different sounds as people and animals begin the summer day with different activities.

The birds which survived the endless man killing were singing. They lived a hard life, because the man is always looking for their meat. But although they are harassed every single day with the bows, sticks, stones and even guns they never spend a day silent. Man hunts them, snakes chase them, and hawks attack them. But they could not stop singing, not even in the coldest morning.

The sound of mortars could be heard from almost all direction as the girls pound the grains to make flour for cooking porridge. The girls would wake up before the cock crow and broke the morning silence with their pestles, cutting short other people’s dreams and nightmares. The reward is porridge. No one can afford to live without such a precious meal, porridge is life and no one can deny that here.

From east comes a different noise. The sound of the axe could be heard as it floats through the village of Okalongo and faded away in the morning breeze. Somewhere a man was chopping down the trees. Sometimes the noise would stop for a while, as if the man has realized his mistakes. But he was just looking for the new targets, to continue with his bad work, harming the nature. Is this the price the earth must pay for sheltering a man? It’s like a man burning his own house. The earth, it’s the only home a man can trust. Soon the next generations will feel the wrath of the nature, paying for the blunders of their ancestors. The earth is life, can man live without it? It is the tree that needs a man or is a man who needs the tree most? Is like a man burning his own house. It is like a man and the house. The house can live without a man but the man can’t live without a house.

An old man wearing a black hat rose from a grass-hat. He was Mukongo, the village headman of Okalongo. He was tall but he has no weight. His grey beards were long and thick; one could hardly see his mouth. He almost looks like those people during the time of Jesus Christ. He was a great leader and he was very revered in his own village and even beyond. He united his people and become one. Once he heard that there are people who don’t greet one another he would bring them together until they become friends again. His village was like one big family where people take care of each other, but not gossip or curse each other.

The old man started to move from one hut to another in the house, asking if everyone was fine before he moved out of the house made with sticks. First he greeted his first wife, to show respect, love, loyalty and trust. Kahamba, for that was her name, was the second most powerful and influential person in the house, her husband being the first. She was quiet proud of being the queen of the house. She had nothing to ask for anymore, except respect, loyalty and obedience from the rest of the house. Even the other three young wives had to obey her. She might be old and frail, but she was wise. No one can deny that. She will remain the queen of the house, as long as she can rule, advice and unites the house.

He tried to walk as fast as he could with his three legs, his black cane being his third leg. He was going to have few but important words with Naita, whose husband was kidnapped by the soldiers almost two years ago and he was never seen again to this day. Now Naita lived alone with her children.

Her first child was a boy, Robert and the second child was also a boy, Kapenda. The two brothers were just between the age of twelve and fifteen years, but the village headman has decided to send them to Windhoek to look for job so that they can look after their family.

When the old man arrived in the house the two brothers were still not awake. They covered themselves with a blanket in the grass-hut where they meet with fear, anger, hopelessness and nightmares.

The village headman was wearing a blue overall and the sandals made in cattle hides. A black hat sat on his head. He sat on a wooden bench, with his huge grey beards touching his chest. Naita came and sat on a mat made with palm leaves. She wore a red dress tied with a small white string around the waist. She wore a white head dress while there are no shoes on her feet although the soil was very cold. A long white necklace made in ostrich shell hangs on her neck. Her legs were stretched in front of her and her arms rested on her thighs. She was a woman with an average height, but her face shows no sign of happiness or hope. By nature she has no mouth, or she does not talk much.

Her smile was replaced by anger and hopelessness. Her body has been worn out by years of frustration and hopelessness since the day her husband was kidnapped. She spent nights with open eyes. All because her husband is gone and can’t feed her children on her own.They have nothing on earth, their livestock were destroyed by powerful bombs which were planted in the kraal the night her husband was kidnapped. The bombs exploded, animals could be heard screaming, the fire rose to the sky and in the morning there was nothing. Many people slept in the bush that night. That was almost two years ago.

He who has children is rich said the village headman to Naita after they exchanged greeting. Yes, children s wealth Naita added. The village headman continued with his word.

Naita my daughter, I see your problem and I don’t sleep well because of your problem. A herder cannot feel well if one of his sheep is not well and when a man is wearing worn out shoes he doest not hurt at the feet but at the heart. Every problem whether small or big, touches the heart. The old man looked on the ground, and then he moved his head up. You see my daughter, when you have an idea on your head is like having a thorn in your foot, it will keep on stabbing you until you take it out.

In fact Naita was not his daughter, they were not even related. But that’s how he greets the people who are younger then him.

The village headman stroked his beards with his left hand, while looking for words. "Although you can invent the light, you can not take away darkness forever. When the light is off darkness will return again. We can take away today’s problem, although tomorrow another problem will came again. We have to do something. God give the children to help you.

A child is like a tree, when its young you give it water, but when it grows up it will give you fruits. He paused again and took off his hat as if he wanted to show the shining bald on his head. He placed the hat on his left knee. Then he continued with his words. Your sons are grown up, they are old enough to work for the white man and came back with something he paused again, this time to give a chance to Naita to say what she think. For her parts, Naita just said mmmh".

For a short moment there was no word between this two people. Yes, they are grown-up. They are big man now. The village headmaster broke the silence. They can work as cleaners, gardeners or even to look after animals in the farms, as long as they earn some money to bring home. Naita stood up and went to call her sons from their hut.

After greeting Mukongo asked the brothers if they don’t want to go and look for work in Windhoek and earn some money. The brothers said they want to go. He asked them if they can not work in the gardeners or as cleaners in the buildings. The brothers said they can do it. Then the village headman told them that he will send them to Windhoek to look for jobs so that they can provide money to their family.

After the boys agreed to go to Windhoek the old man asked the brother’s to open their ears and take every word he will say to them. Men of today go to work but they only came back with empty hands. Like a fisherman returning from the river without a fish. They go to work in order to bring something home but they just come home with nothing, like a hunter returning from the jungle without even a bird. They are like a greedy hunter who killed a rabbit but he roasted it in the forest and ate alone and when he came home he said his trap didn’t catch a rabbit. It is what the men of today are doing, all they say is that they are not earning enough, but they have money to drink with their women, men of today go to Windhoek and never come back home. They marry foreigners and enjoy their life at towns and they forget their own people back home, like a silly bird which never returns at the nest where it was hatched and where it learned the sweet of life. They are like a mad boy who was sent by his mother to draw water from the river but he just went at the river and started to swim as if he was mad. He kept swimming until the crocodile caught him. He forgot that his aim was to draw water and go home but not to swim. You may ask yourself why I am saying this to you, but I just want to warn you because you are going to Windhoek where you have never set your feet before. He paused and took out a folded white paper from the right pocket of his overall, and then he took out his smoking pipe from the left pocket of his overall. He unfolded the paper and took some dry tobacco leaves from the paper, go and bring a firewood! said the old man to Robert, while Robert went to bring the fire the old man took some tobacco from the paper and put them on his smoking pipe, when the boy brought the fire the old man lit his tobacco pipe after he put the other end of the pipe in his mouth. He started to smoke, a cloud of grey smoke rose from his mouth and faded in the air, everyone was quite, but the old man was not finish. He was just warming up his mind with tobacco; after he finished smoking he cleared tobacco ashes from his smoking pipe with a small stick before he continued to talk. don’t think that because you are going to Windhoek you are grown up men, no, no, not even next year, but don’t take my word wrong, although I said you are young, you are not a chicken which cannot scratch for food by itself the village headman paused and cleared his throat. He took a piece of a black cloth and cleared his nose, but again he went on with his words, at Windhoek you will meet some boys of your age who never take a single word from the mouths of their parents. They are criminal gangs who drink like pigs, steal like hawks and even kill people. They are walking devils and I warn you not to join them. Don’t imitate what they are doing because people are not the same, people are different, a chicken cannot perch where the eagle perches. If you find a job you must stay as you are, never go out to drink or move around wasting your money everywhere. Remember that a pest which stays at one place will survive but a pest which likes to fly around will never survive because one day it will find itself stuck in the spider’s web or in the mouth of a bird. Don’t go to Windhoek and aim to chase a high life which you cannot afford, don’t ever try to put yourself in the sky if you don’t have wings, but rather live on earth and look at the sky everyday. In our old days when a man dies he leave something behind to inspire, but men of today they leave nothing when they die, not even a goat with a short tail. What they leave behind is only debt and humiliation. Men of today are just cowards who cannot even rule their own life. Now, if a man cannot rule himself, how can he rule others? He looked at the brother as if he was waiting for them to answer his question, but the brothers were just looking on the ground. It hurt me so much when I look at men of today wasting life, said the old man, "I don’t know what it wrong with men of today. In the past men went to work at towns and brought bulks of goods when they come home, but men of today they bring nothing, not even a spoon, they just bring lot of lies at home. They only go at towns to learn how to speak foreign languages and when they come home they only bring abominable diseases.

You must be very careful at the city. Many people at the city are lost and they live a stupid life. They have no respect for customs and now they are spitting on the footprints of their forefathers, like a wicked child who bite his mother’s breast after sucking, you must respect your customs because it’s the customs which makes you lucky one, you may say I am old and you don’t need my words, but one day you will need it, but I wont be there. A man may run away from sunshine during summer and say that the sun is mad, but during the cold season he will look for sunshine, but the sun will be hiding under the clouds. He who never takes advices is like a man who goes to war without a gun. Your father was a brave man who can even quarrel with a king; you must be brave like your father. The seed of Ongete tree must also produce and Ongete Tree, not Omukwa tree. I will sent you to work for the white man but not to be used by the white man as slaves, go and work for the white man, you can eat his food, you can speak his language, but never try to follow his ways because you will never understand the white man and neither he will understand you, you remember when the white man came to our land long time ago he said that all people are equal before God, but later he started to say that a white cat is clever than a black cat. How can a white cat out clever the black cat? Can a white horse outrun a black horse because of its color or because of its speedy? But don’t be afraid of the white man. If a man is bad, fights him or leaves him, I want man who can face the really problems, I don’t want a man who kill the worms while leaving the snakes alive. A man who kill the worms, will only realize his mistake when the snakes multiply and start to bite his children, don’t let yourself suffer, when I was almost your age I fought Hitler, you might have heard of that white man who wanted to rule the whole world, we fought him everywhere until he hang himself, the world can either live in fear because on one man, or live in peace because of all men.

You may go and speak the foreign language and curse your mother tongue, like a chicken cursing the egg, you may go and marry foreigners like others who believed that love does not matter where you started it but what you can get from it, but remember that you have only one home and that is here. The old man said pointing on the ground with his right hand, never forget home, never forget your mother, your mother was like a bird flying around everywhere looking for food to feed its chicks during summer, you know that the food for birds is very scarce during summer season, but a bird never let its chicks to die from hunger, a mother is the one who fight battles for others, go work and make your mother proud, but don’t eat the fish at the river, bring it home so that everyone can get a piece. Don’t go and eat your money with unknown women there, you must always keep in mind that some women of today do not marry a man, they marry the money. Once your money is finished they will leave you and goes to others. Like the worms leaving a tree after they have finished eating all the leaves. They are like a frog which lived in a pond for months swimming and croaking but when the pond started to dry up the frog moved to look for other deep water instead of staying in a dry pond until the rains comes again. The old man pauses again and stroked his forehead with his right hand. Then the continued, if the shoes are hurting your feet, leave them and find the one which are not hurting your feet, I am saying if your boss is not good, leave him and try to find another work. Use the money but don’t let the money to use you. Always be good to yourself, but also don’t be bad to others. Never behave like an ostrich in the chicken, but also don’t behave like a chicken in the ostriches. A man can’t be good to everybody all time; he can be only being good to himself all his life. A man destroys himself by trying to please everybody all time. But a man who lives all his life trying to please only himself is doomed to failure. Great men come to change the world for others and leave their footprints even where they had never walked. Great people don’t fear failure, they only fear silence. Every time we fear failure we deny ourselves great successes. You must know that everything God created has gold, but man can only see the one that shines. It’s true that money can’t grow on trees, but it can grow on a wise man. The brain of a wise man is a gold mine.

We must live to respect mankind, but not to fear or worship human beings. You must not change who you are when you are at town. A fool reveals his true character the moment he attain wealth and pride. A fool listens only to himself and remains a fool forever. A wise man listens to others and become wiser. Don’t make foolish decisions; a fool destroys himself by making stupid decisions. When the harvest is bad, a wise man adds fertilizers in his field; a fool buys a new plough and changes the donkeys. Be careful not to ruin your life, before you jump, first look where you will fall. You might fall in a deep pit. Don’t step on the thorns. God created the man with eyes to see the thorns, but he didn’t give the thorns eyes to see the man.

Don’t go to join thugs at town. Let the thugs live their dirty life. Let the pigs play in the mud because they don’t sleep on your bed. Let the pigs swim in the mud because you are not the one who wash them. Let the pigs walk in the mud because they are not wearing your shoes.

It is better to ride a donkey than to remain on a sick horse. You can ride a donkey while waiting for the horse to arrive. But also remember that sometimes a donkey is better than a wild horse. Is it not better to sleep outside than to sleep in a falling house? Is it not better to marry a fool than to marry a beautiful whore? Is it not better to stay hungry than to eat poison? The mind of a man is a tree which can bear sour and sweet fruits. The sour fruits have to be thrown away; the sweet one’s has to be eaten. Whatever the man tells you never eats all his words? The snake croaks when it wants to eat the frog.

The life of a child is like a wide road where everyone who walks on it leaves his foot prints. However, not all the footprints should be followed. Some could take you to the forest full of hungry wolves, some could take you to a river full of hungry crocodiles, some could take you to a dry desert, but some could take you to a garden full of sweet fruits. The ones that takes you to the garden is usually a rough and long one because only few people walks on it, but not all of them reach the garden.

Don’t be like the silly children of a tortoise who asked milk from their mother. Tortoise and The jackal were neighbors. Tortoise has children and the jackal has also her children. One day tortoise children went to play at the jackal’s house. While at the jackal’s house the jackal started to breastfeed her children. When tortoise children saw this they ran home and said to their mother mom, we want you to breastfeed us like the jackal does to her children. mother tortoise was very angry and replied yes, I want to breastfeed you but I have no breasts. I shall feed you with what I can afford, but not with milk because I don’t have any drop of milk. Don’t ask your mother what she doesn’t have. The old man paused, and continued "every tortoise wants to breastfeed her children, but they have got no milk. Because tortoise has no milk she taught her children to eat grass. Those who choose to eat grass survive, those that wait for milk dies.

God created the man to die, but it’s not God who causes the death of a man, its nature and its circumstances that cause the death of a man. Sometimes a man can be part of the circumstances of his death. That is all I had, the old man has closed his mouth. He who never takes advice is doomed to failure".

Naita smiled and she thank the village headman for advising her sons, for her part she said every bird has its own songs, said Naita to her sons, but there is no bird has ever tried to imitate to sing others birds songs, because every bird is proud of its own song, my sons you are going to the town where you will meet different people from different blood, don’t go there and try to imitate other people’s customs because you have your own. I have no words, except to say go and work very hard my sons, save every penny you earn, that is all I can say she said looking at her eldest son, Robert.

Naita and Mukongo began to talk about other things like old friends, they talked about the scarcity of water during the dry months, they talked about how the people in other villages walk long distances to get water from wells, and they talked about the war in the country until the soil start to warm up. They said the war which destroyed the world started with single shot said the old man. you never say you are going to a person to exchange two words, you will end up exchanging words for the whole day, a mouth knows no time, I am going home he took his cane and stood up to go, ‘a house is like a trap Naita said to the village headman don’t stop visiting our house because we didn’t gave you something to put in your mouth today, tomorrow we might have’. Mukongo turned around and said, No, people are not like vultures which only meet whenever there is a dead animal to eat. People do meets even though there is nothing to eat, people do meets to share wisdom which last forever, not to share food which only last for one day

He moved few steps back again, it’s not a problem if there is no food in the house, because if there is no food in the house it’s because the food has been already eaten by the people, not wasted. People are not wasteful and they always keep something for tomorrow, people are not like pigs which never think about tomorrow. Do you remember that story of the pigs which ruined their own water? asked the old man, which story? Naita asked, that story of the pigs, during one of the dry months the pigs use to drink at one pond everyday, but when the level of water started to lower the silly pigs saw it as a good opportunity to roll in the water because it was not so deep, so they rolled in the pond for the whole day until the water became muddy, when the night fell they left the pond and went to sleep in their holes, but when they came to drink the next day they found only mud, there was no water in the pond. That’s why today the pigs don’t roll in the water anymore but they just roll in the mud… Don’t kill yourself because you don’t have food to give to your guests. If you cut down every tree you find without fruits you will end up cutting down your favorite tree where you escape the sun. If you start to kill everyone who makes a mistake you will end up killing yourself. You know I had four wives and they feed me like a baby. That is why I look like a twenty years old man. They both laughed and the village headman walked away.

As soon as the village headman left, Robert washed his face with his hands and went to his friend Titus. As he walked he thought about Windhoek, the far away place where they will go to work. He thought that they will find the job with his brother and buy everything they need; he thought it will be easier for them to buy a car because they are two. Then they will come back home driving their car, just the two of them. And how will their mother ululate and shout out their names loud. In his mind he can see his mother and the children dancing around a car, a white Toyota pick up truck, will that dream come true if they walk thousands of miles to Windhoek? Will they bring home a car? Let it be not a wasted dream. The people are waiting to hear and to see, and perhaps to touch what they will bring home.

Robert found Titus under the tree which was near his house, busy fixing his blue bicycle, You rode the bicycle like a Monkey, now everyday it is broken Robert said as he approached his friend. Who told you that is broken? If you don’t know what to use your mouth for you better give it to the dog and it will give its mouth to you because you will be better barking than talking. Titus said, after exchanging some jokes Robert said, When the school starts you will not see me again, just greet everybody in our class, especially our teacher and those twins sisters in our class, I like them so much. Where are you going you coward? Who will carry you out of this village if you are even afraid to walk out of your house? Titus asked uninterested, he didn’t even look at Robert to see his facial expression, whether he was serious or just joking. Its true my friend, you wont see me again, we are going with Kapenda. Where are you going? Titus asked, this time trying to look at Robert face, we are going to look for work at Windhoek my friend, you are okay you have your father and mother and you have enough animals. We don’t have a father and we don’t have any animal except the dog. No. I don’t understand you Robert, leaving school to go and work for the white man, are you mad? There is no good reward than to work for yourself, remember that if there’s no one who can eat for you then there is no one who can work for you, leaving school to go and work is like choosing fruits instead of seeds, once the fruits are finish they are finish forever, but if you take the seeds you will eat the fruits until you die. So my friend don’t choose fruits over the seeds, take my advice, even if you take me as a bad friend, there’s no bad friend there is only bad advice, forget the white man, do you think he has changed?’ Robert felt embarrassed, so he kept quite as if he was joking at first. Then they wet on with other stories.

Chapter two

There was a strong physical resemblance between the two brothers. From their heads to their feet they look alike. They were nicknamed the two dice by their friends because they look alike almost everywhere. They were handsome boys with big, round eyes, a small sharp nose and small lips. They have the resemblance of their mother. But Robert was taller and bigger that Kapenda because he was the eldest, the first born. But still he was not big enough to protect his brother or even himself against the bully man as the village headman thought. He was still a young boy who was supposed to wait for three or four years before he could go to look for job. But men are always men whether they are young or old. In fact the village headman was not wrong because the brothers were big enough to work in farms as herders of goats or sheep. Looking after animals is their job by birth which they did since they were four or five years old.

The brothers loved each other since their childhood and most of the time they were always together as if they were twins. Although there was some disagreement sometimes, Robert never bullied his young brother. And Kapenda was always happy to be with his big brother, he felt protected and everyday he was learning something new from his brother.

Although the brothers