Pursuing Christ. Creating Art.: Exploring Life at the Intersection of Faith and Creativity
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About this ebook
Gary A. Molander
Gary Molander served in full-time pastoral ministry for seventeen years, functioning as a Creative Arts Pastor for much of his tenure. Gary was responsible for displaying the creative arts in his church's worship services every week, in addition to equipping and releasing artists who created beautiful and amazing art. On a weekly basis, music, video, photography, painting, drama, print design, and storytelling were woven together to stir hearts, and to make visible the invisible God. Gary received his Masters of Arts from the Southern California Worship Institute, under the leadership of David Timms and Monty Kelso. In November 2004, Gary left pastoral ministry to pursue his family. Pastoral ministry is difficult and challenging and consuming and heart-breaking, and if pastors aren't careful, they can lose their family in the process. Through many late night conversations with his wife Angela, and through three years of prayer and counseling, Gary made the simple choice to step out of vocational local church ministry, attempting to rebuild the relationships he had harmed with his wife and three daughters. It worked. Today, Gary is the Founder and Co-Owner of Floodgate Productions, and also the extremely fulfilled husband to his Angela, and the proud father of his three daughters. In addition, Gary is the Founder and President of The Floodgate Foundation, a non-profit group that helps launch dreams of business ownership in the poorest villages of El Salvador. Gary lives his days at the beautiful and crazy and challenging and insane intersection of faith and creativity. It's where pursuing Christ and creating art overlap. The posts and discussions included in "Pursuing Christ. Creating Art" are written to help any artist who finds herself at that intersection. Or himself. That works too. In addition to the writings in "Pursuing Christ. Creating Art", Gary continues to explore life at this intersection on his blog. You're invited to join the discussion at GaryMo.com. More importantly, you're invited to go create art. Today.
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Book preview
Pursuing Christ. Creating Art. - Gary A. Molander
Contents
Acknowledgments
Forward
Introduction
Purpose
Introduction To Purpose
Big Art
Creatives Vs. Artists
The Purpose Of Art
Initiative And Response
For The World
Identity
Introduction To Identity
Father And Child
You Are Not Your Ministry
A Treasure In A Field
Divorcing Art
People Pleaser
High And Low
Pursuit
Introduction To Pursuit
Discovering The Creative Source
Prepositions - One
Prepositions - Two
The Prison Of Freedom
The Pursuit Of Freedom
Authority
Introduction To Authority
Covering
Defusing The Bomb
Submitting And Disagreeing
Blocks
Introduction To Blocks
Procrastination
Fear And Pride
Satan
Perfectionism
Lust
Obscurity
Mirror
Introduction To Mirror
Missing The Mark
Obsessed With Results
The Man Who Tinkled In Church
Burned Out Or Tired?
Fear And Dreams
Stop Making Excuses
Worry
Creating Art Or Creating Idols?
Creativity
Introduction To Creativity
Creative Blocks
Fear And The Creative Process
Breaking The Rules
Discontent
Bad Dreams
Church
Introduction To Church
The Beast
Who Can’t Attend Your Church?
Emotional Uprisings
Marketing Or Lying?
When Everything Is Bold
Leadership
Introduction To Leadership
Frank
Leaders Who See
Insanity
Code
Squashers
When Skill Surpasses Character
Control Freak
Final Thoughts
Contributors
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To the beautiful congregations at Clovis EV Free Church, Fresno First Baptist Church, and Celebration Christian Fellowship - This book would be a series of blank pages without you.
To Pastors Steve, Ray, Woody, Willie, and Joe - Thank you for giving me a place to learn and to grow.
To Nick - Thank you for your enduring friendship over these past 30 years. You sustain me. Real tomato ketchup, Eddie?
To Craig - Thank you for being a great brother, and for creating music alongside me during the days of Deliverance. Those days formed me for exactly what I’m doing now.
To Marty - Thank you for showing me how valuable a music ministry volunteer can be. Thank you for always helping me to see clearly.
To Andy and Sherene - Thank you for loving me enough to allow me to take off my pastoral hat
, and to simply be normal. Thanks for the road trips, and for RV dump sites in Modesto, CA.
To Bob and Peggy Molander - Thank you for bringing me into this world, and for fostering the creative spirit in me. And thank you for running to embrace me when this prodigal drifted far away. I cannot wait for the day when I run to embrace you.
To Angela - Thank you for believing in me enough to ride the rapids of pastoral ministry, seminary, and job changes. Thank you for being the best Mom on the planet, and for continuing to function as the spouse with the steady job. I am well aware that I married up.
FORWARD
This book is not about how to paint better. But you’ll probably paint better.
This book is not about how to write better. But you’ll probably write better.
This book is not about how to pursue Christ with more zeal. But you’ll probably pursue Christ with more zeal.
This book is not written as a how-to book at all. It’s written as a series of Jesus-based explorations, at an amazing and confusing and beautiful and insane intersection.
If you were to draw a circle, and write the words pursuing Christ
inside of the circle…
Then, if you were to draw another circle, and make it overlap the first circle on one of the edges.
And inside of that new circle, you were to write the words creating art
…
INTRODUCTION
…and say, Oh what an adorable baby. What’s his name?
When this happens, you probably won’t ever hear either of the parents say, Oh thanks. His name is Gary.
And when they write my name on the cup at the coffee shop, I’m fairly confident that the barista girl turns around to get the coffee, and secretly lets out an I’m-sorry-for-him sigh, as if to say, I guess that was a popular name in the 60’s.
It wasn’t.
I say this only by way of introduction.
I’m writing with the assumption that you may not know who I am. Most authors who take on a writing endeavor like this have already experienced some measure of popularity, usually on a large stage. And while my wife thinks I’m pretty special, and my girls think I’m funny, I think you might not know who I am.
I need to tell you that I feel really good about the man I’m becoming - maybe for the first time in my life. I feel really good about writing this book for you to read. And I feel really good about being a child of God.
I don’t think I’m prideful. I think I’m naively confident. I think that, if you took ignorance and mixed it with big dreams, I’d be somewhere stuck to the sides of that blender. Then, if you added just enough leadership to see a couple of days into the future, you’d really experience the person I am.
So to help you understand the place I’m writing from, there’s a section at the beginning of this book to help you do that. Feel free to skip this Section. Don’t feel guilty if you skip this Section.
I’d probably skip this Section.
PASTOR
I was a full-time pastor for seventeen years. The kind of pastor where the church pays your salary, where you marry people and bury people, and where you’re always on call. I completed Hope International University’s Master’s program, where I received a Masters of Arts in 2004.
As you read any book or blog or journal, it’s important to remember that any author is always reacting to something. The same is true of this book. Much of what I’m writing about is a reaction to being a pastor for so many years.
There’s good stuff.
There’s bad stuff.
And for the rest of my life on earth, I’ll be reacting to both.
I think the most difficult job in the entire world is being a mom. I think the second most difficult job in the world is being a pastor.
I think pastors are under more spiritual attack than any other group of people I know.
I think pastors want to create heaven, but need pieces of hell to get there.
I think pastors put far too much pressure on themselves.
I think pastor’s families should be off limits to the constant critique of church whiners, and I think there should be a Board or Committee established to escort chronic whiners to the exit doors. Quickly.
I think pastors should love God and people more than anything, and I think they should work endlessly at creating environments where Kingdom grace is experienced.
I think pastors should stop copying each other.
I think many pastors have confused being a pastor with being an entrepreneur. And I think the people in their care already know that. The acid test is love. It always is.
I think pastors have the best Story in the world to tell, so the best pastors are the best storytellers.
I think the best pastors are also the best lovers. Not that kind.
I think pastors are artists who might not really believe that.
I think pastors provide a covering for their people. I think they shepherd us.
I think it’s really good that I’m not a pastor anymore, because I can’t live up to that list.
MY FIRST TIME
I was thirty-six when someone first called me an artist
. Until then, I was a musician, or a worship pastor, or a tall man. But never an artist.
The church I served had asked a church growth consultant to spend the weekend with us. All healthy things grow, and our church wasn’t growing. So we probably weren’t healthy. Our hope was for this pastoral veteran to come in, tell us what we were doing wrong, and help us fix it.
After a weekend of meetings and consultation, his findings were simple. We needed to become more like the mega-church he served. He believed that would make us healthy. We believed it, too.
We needed to turn up the music, stop serving so much coffee, kill the drama program, and have people read their testimonies in every worship service. He suggested we adapt his strategy for our church, and even proclaim his church’s mission statement as ours. With a few tweaks.
We were stoked. We did everything he suggested.
For two years.
And nothing changed.
Copying someone else’s success story isn’t always the best way to create your own.
I felt demoralized and empty. I had changed so much in the ways I carried out my weekly responsibilities, and our church wasn’t growing. I wondered if it was my fault.
I always wonder that.
Our Lead Pastor and I ended up at something called The Willow Creek Arts Conference
. I think we just stumbled onto it, primarily because they came to California that year, and we only had a few hours to drive. So we attended the Conference. Just the two of us.
After the first day, my pastor and I loved what we were experiencing. The deepest part of our hearts were being ministered to. This Conference was going far beyond tips and techniques, and into the deepest recesses of our souls. I’m not a crier, but I’m pretty sure I ugly-cried during that week.
My pastor and I were engaged in the typical after-the-session discussion at lunch. Entirely unaware that there was food in his teeth, I’ll never forget what he asked me.
Gary. If we’re going to remain stuck as a church, then why don’t we trash our current strategy, and start doing what we really want to? If we’re going down in flames anyway, let’s enjoy ourselves.
When he said that, something exploded in my heart. I knew he was right, and I was excited about returning to our core desires, and leading from there.
We flossed, then went back in to the Conference. The afternoon session started with someone I had never heard of named Nancy Beach.
Every single word from Nancy’s mouth landed directly on me. It was like God had already told her about my deepest passions and desires, and she was simply relaying that knowledge to me.
She described the character traits of an artist. Until then, I thought an artist was only a painter. She helped me see that my core personality was artistic, and that I