It Started at the Church: Trapped in Love and Trouble

By Brenda Havlicek

Ah, love at last! In her search for love, a young girl finally finds what she is looking for, but the things that she went through to find love proved to be almost too costly as her life almost came to an end.

"It Started At The Church" is the story of a young girl who wants to be loved and has fallen prey to an older man, who is seemingly a harmless good Christian brother. She finds herself in love and in trouble in an intriguing relationship of messed up religion, sex, drugs, alcohol and domestic violence at the age of seventeen years old.

The story unfolds and becomes a true bond of insanity across many years of being in a horrifying relationship of so called love, and how she was lost in a world of brokenness, pain, and no self-esteem. It also tells how she finally gained the power to break free, to find purpose, passion and get on the road to inner love, healing and forgiveness.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 29, 2011
• ISBN: 9781463426309

Brenda Havlicek

Brenda Havlicek is the Vice President of Touch Of Heaven Ministries, Inc. in Phoenix, Arizona. Brenda is a licensed and ordained minister of the gospel and has been working in ministry for over 30 years. She is also a Ministry Training Institute graduate with honors, the Assistant Pastor for the last six years, an inspirational writer of the Life Highly Flavored newsletter, as well as an inspirational speaker and conference host of Life Highly Flavored conferences in Arizona and throughout the United States. She is the wife of Richard Havlicek, Sr. and has been married to the husband of her youth for 28 years. She is the mother of two adult sons and a daughter in law. She also has been blessed with two beautiful grandchildren. Brenda has been working on this book for many years and has finally been able to bring all of the pieces together to write her first published book, "It Started At The Church"

Book preview

Table of Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgments

Foreword

Introduction

Beginning Of It All

The Big Bang

A Church Home

The Meeting Place

Friendly Advice

Real Love

The Big Chill

House Party

American Idol

Road Trip

A Whole Bunch of Mess

Nights of Terror

The Wrath of Diane In 3-D

Road Trip II Preparation

Beat Up and Beat Down

Get Out of Jail Free

Truth Be Told

Fighting Temptation

Nothing New About Us!

Moving On

The Great Depression

A New Beginning

Reunited

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this book to my grandmother, Ms. Judy (Granny) Jones. Granny Jones has gone to heaven, but she is always alive and well in my heart and in my thoughts.

Granny Jones is truly the reason that our family has stayed strong in the faith. She has been a great inspiration to many people. She is truly a part of everything I do that causes others to be blessed.

Granny, I love you more…

Acknowledgments

First of all, I want to give God the glory for giving me the strength to endure the many tribulations and trials that I have faced throughout my life. He is the strength and joy in my life, and I love Him.

I also thank God for my husband, Richard Havlicek Sr., for his love and understanding. I also want to thank my husband for allowing me to speak the truth about what I have gone through and revealing some intimate parts of our lives within this book. I could not have done this book without your help, Richard. You are always there, helping me to accomplish anything I set out to do in life. You are one in a million and I will love you forever!

I want to acknowledge my two sons, Richard Havlicek Jr. and James Havlicek, who are the other two men in my life that I adore. For my daughter-in-law, Sheree Havlicek, the best daughter in the world, I truly thank God for her, as well as my two grandchildren, Kiara Havlicek and Richard Havlicek III, who both bring so much joy into my life.

I give honor and thanks to my mother, my beautiful angel on earth, who prayed me through then and now. If it were not for your kindness and unconditional love, I know I couldn’t have made it through.

My father, Charlie Lee Williams Sr., who has gone on to glory, I love and thank for trying to be the best father he could be to all of us. If it were not for him, I definitely would not be the woman that I am today!

To all of my siblings, you all are truly my best friends: my dear sisters Maxine Trimble, Vivian Booker, Deloris Drebert, and Helen (Peaches) Williams and my dear brothers Charlie Lee Williams Jr. and Robert L. Williams, who is in heaven. I love you guys, and I will miss you always, Robert.

To all of the pastors who are still a very prominent part of my life: Pastors B. J. and Deloris Drebert, Pastors Terry and Leslie Brown, Pastors Patrick and Kay Broadnax, and Pastor Harlow White, who have supported me and my family through thick and thin. I thank you all for covering us and keeping us safe with your prayers, council, support, and love. Thank you for seeing the best in me, no matter what. I truly thank God for each and every one of you. You are God’s finest!

I want to give a special thanks to my niece, Tamiko Taylor, a real jewel, who was helping me every step of the way on this book. I could not have finished it without you. You are such a blessing, and I thank God for you. And to all of my nieces and nephews, who love them some Auntie Bertha, aka Tootie, you all know I love you.

I got to show some love to my girl Carmelia Johnson for making me laugh to keep me from crying—and so much more. You know you are my gi-i-i-i-rl!

To my friend Janet Myers, who has been my best friend for thirty-two years and has witnessed my transformation from that teenage girl to the woman that I am today. I love you, girl!

Thank you to Mother Martha Porter for your prayers and encouragement.

Foreword

First off, I have to say that whenever I sit down to read something, whether it’s a magazine article, a script, or whatever, if it cannot grab my attention within the first page, I’m done! When asked to read It Started at the Church, by author Brenda Havlicek, I really didn’t know what to expect. I had met her a few times at the church that my mother is a member of and thought that she was a very nice person, but I never knew that she was writing a book.

After winning a local film festival, my mother was so proud of me that she told anyone who would listen about how her son is going to make it big in Hollywood so that she could retire. Through all of my mother’s retirement plans, word got back to Brenda that I was a filmmaker. This caught her ear, because along with writing her book, she wanted to make a movie about her life.

After going through my mother and exchanging information, Brenda sent me her manuscript to read. I have to honestly say that there were no first page struggles here. I flipped through those pages like my fingers were on fire, trying to see how things turned out for her as a young woman; I HAD TO KNOW!!! This book will keep your attention from cover to cover as she opens up her soul to bear the pain and heartache that has haunted her for most of her life. People publish books every day, but it is rare that an author will show you the blueprint of what so many young women go through on a daily basis in the name of the wrong love.

Have you have ever wondered how women of all ages could possibly get consumed into a relationship that had red flags and warning signs saying Stop, go back! This guy is bad news! smacking them right in the face? Author Brenda Havlicek shows you the road that she went down and the warning signs that she ignored.

All of life’s lessons are waiting within these pages to be shared with anyone who has been in love, abused, betrayed and reborn. Just as the Phoenix emerged from beneath the ashes, Brenda Havlicek’s spirit and determination propelled her from that one relationship that is every woman’s heartache and every parent’s nightmare.

I jumped at the chance to express my thoughts in this section of her book, as well as the efforts that is going into the movie version that is in the works. My personal motivation here is being the father of my own little girl, who herself could possibly fall in love with that perfectly wrong somebody one day. These types of relationships happen everywhere, but this one right here… It Started at the Church.

By Michael Butler, CEO of NoWayOut Films, LLC, and Co-Producer of the film Broken Roads, starring Academy Award Nominee Sally Kirkland, and Screenwriter for the film based on this very book, It Started at the Church.

Introduction

I began to write this book so many times, throughout twenty years, to be exact. However, I would come to a dead end, and I wouldn’t know why. I believe it was because I never got the closure I needed at that time to really end the story. Writing this story became a form of continual healing and therapy for me.

I know that as a young girl I was faced with a lot of emotional trauma. Some people might say trauma is a strong word, but the word problems just doesn’t translate the depth of the pain that I was faced with, and how things I was confronted with as a young impressionable teenager really did shape my world, not only by the way I began to view things, and people in life, but by leaving a lasting impression on my heart and mind.

One thing I know for sure is that everyone has a story. However, this is my story, and I felt that it was worth writing. My story is not intended to bash anyone or lay blame on the church. It is not to glorify or uplift any acts of sexual behavior, domestic violence, drug use, or sin in any way, shape, or form. This is just something that I have experienced, and I wanted to share with people, so I could show that things that happen to you in childhood can and really do have a lasting effect on you. These experiences can still be a strong hold in your life if they are not dealt with properly, through various therapy or counseling, that can save you a lot of heart ache and pain, so the experiences don’t come back to haunt you later in your life.

I sincerely hope that this book will help someone who may be facing a similar situation in their life, not just regarding all of the various abuses that I suffered. The three main points of this book are: first, how lowering yourself to please others causes you to lose yourself and your self-esteem; second, do not fall into traps of thinking that loving someone else is more important than you loving yourself; third and most important, if you do not love and value yourself, do not expect others to love and place value on you more.

Beginning Of It All

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It was February of 1977. I was fourteen when my mother became very ill. She began having really bad headaches and began seeing the doctor on a regular basis. It became very apparent to us, meaning all of her children: Madeline, the oldest, Veronica, Johnny, Diane, Ricky, Me (Betty), and the baby of the family, Hannah that something major was about to happen to our family. Early one morning, my father (Carl Lee) called all of us into the family room and told us to have a seat. He began to cry, and so did we. Why? My father was such a